Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness with Brittany Wilson (Intuitive Eating #7)

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Hey there. Welcome to the Grace Health Podcast, your source for aging strong in your physical, mental, and spiritual health. My name is Amy Connell. I'm a weight neutral certified personal trainer and nutrition coach who loves walks with friends, chocolate, and Jesus. Whether you're looking to grow stronger as you age, nourish your body, mind, and spirit, or fit all the pieces of your health together to holistically thrive, this is the place for women over 40.

I'm here to guide you in the areas I can and bring on experts in the area. In the areas I'm still learning. And of course we cover it all in a whole lot of grace. I'm glad you're here. And if you are new here, I invite you to check out season 19, starting January 9th, 2024 to fully understand the foundation of this show.

In short, this is a grace filled Christ centered show focusing on women over 40 who want to age resiliently in a holistic way. And then be sure to check out the episode 30 plus non gym ways to improve your health and grab the free download that goes with it. to that. All the links are in the show notes.

Okay. We are in the middle of a season about intuitive eating. And as I talked about in the opening episode of this, I shared my journey with you on intuitive eating. And so I'm bringing in experts, um, to talk about each of the 10 principles. Um, my guest today is Brittany Wilson. Let me tell you a little bit about Brittany.

Real quickly, she's a registered dietitian nutritionist and the owner of Revelation Nutrition. She helps women who are frustrated by the temporary results and letdowns of dieting. Boy, is dieting a letdown to become more confident in your food choices and who God made you to be. Her Christ centered intuitive eating course provides tangible steps to make Christ centered intuitive eating a part of your everyday life so that you can eat with ease and feel good in your body.

Brittany lives in Montana with her three cats and is an adventure sinker, but equally enjoys quiet mornings and evenings with God and a warm cup of tea. Welcome Brittany.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited, Amy.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yes. And as we are recording and this is airing, it is summer, which you not only live in Montana with your cats, but also half of Texas that goes up there and visits.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yes, that's true.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yeah. 

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: eastern Montana, so let me just say it's, it's hot on the eastern Montana side, so.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Oh, it is. What is, well, 

what is hot to you?

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Well, I mean, right now, it's not overly hot, but in the summer, you know, it stays in the 90s and can go up to 100 degrees, but we have a dry heat compared to Texas.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: okay. That is warmer. I learned something today that is a lot warmer than I thought. So maybe you don't have as many Texas's Texans, um, Coming in and invading your 

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Thank you. They come for the lack of humidity though, so maybe so.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Seriously, the humidity is a whole different, a whole different thing. Oh my goodness. Um, okay. So we are talking about intuitive eating principle seven today, which is cope with your emotions with kindness. I would love for you to start out with, um, telling us what this means.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yes, so, and I'm going to put this in my own words, but coping with your emotions with kindness is, is learning how to work through emotions without using food in an unhealthy way. And I'm sure we'll be digging deeper into this, but food can be tied to our emotions in healthy ways. But really, we want to learn how to work through emotions in ways that actually resolve Problems or the things we're feeling, rather than just stuffing it or hiding it or avoiding it using food.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Okay. As I was preparing for this episode, I had this flashback. To, um, Sesame Street. And so Sesame Street, you know, has all these little different clips and they're always trying to help people grow and thrive. And, and, um, I mean, I watched it as a kid, my kids watched it. And I remember this little clip they had of, um, all of these different emotions that this child had.

And I think it was. It was kind of animated and they were happy or they were sad or, um, they were celebrating or something like that. And it was this push to cope with those emotions without food. Like I remember instead of a cookie, it's, you know, have a hug. And so I was like, gosh, you know, there, this has been around for a while, this awareness that we need to maybe not use food for everything.

Um, Try and I, you know, I, anyway, so I just thought, gosh, that's, that's been around for a while.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yeah. It has. And I, you know, I think it's something that honestly, I, I, I would believe that pretty much all of the listeners would probably agree that we, I, I don't like the word shouldn't, but maybe, maybe that's not the word I won't use, but maybe that using food isn't the best method, but we do it. Right?

Like, it's not like it's something that we're not aware of, usually. Sometimes we're not fully aware of how we're using food, but it's, yeah, it's, it's not new. But yeah, we find ourselves using food, which is the interesting thing.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: We do. Okay. So I want to start there and pull that thread a little bit because every family culture has something different, but what we do in my family, I don't think is that unusual and it is okay. Okay. It. You know, you've just graduated from high school. And so we make a big steak dinner and you know, we have appetizers and food is really the center of this celebration.

And obviously the child is the center of the celebration, but but food is a huge part of that, um, which I don't think is anything that. That you or anyone else is going to say like, no, you know, you shouldn't do that. But where do we find that line of not using it to our detriment, but also using it for joy or for, um, other special occasions, I don't feel like is the right word, but it's the one that comes to mind right now.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yeah, well, you know, first I am actually going to bring us back to scripture and let's and look at early, the early church when Jesus was still around. And even before that, really, when we look in the old Testament, even before Jesus, right? The festivals were centered around food and food had symbolic representation.

If we look at the Passover, I mean, look at every single food that was eaten at the beginning Passover meals and the significance of every food that was chosen with the bitter herbs, you know, with the lamb, with these, all these pieces that even Jesus, when he celebrated Passover, even the night before, you know, his, his death, there's significance in every piece of that.

So it's, it's like you said, food is created to be a part of celebration. And God says, when we go to his kingdom, we're invited at his table for the feast with him. And so. Where I think there's a line is it's why are we using food? So what is the intention we have in that? And so if we're using food to celebrate and with joy, if we look at all the other principles of intuitive eating, we're not really going to be using food to celebrate. In an unhealthy way with and ignoring our body signals. And, you know, it's, it's kind of that full scope piece because if we're learning to listen to hunger and fullness cues, even if we're celebrating with food, we're not stuffing ourselves past a point of comfort, right? Like in our. stomachs where we feel sick. So we can use food for that positive celebratory, that community peace that God intended it without it overstepping into an, a place of unhealthy dependency. And where it can become harmful is when we're using it for suppressing emotions or numbing out, or if we're using it to Maybe deal with our stress and or our grief and it we're not turning to God at all and because there will be times I mean we are humans there will be times we might find ourself even unintentional intentionally subconsciously turning to food But there's a difference of when it's like, Oh, I think I'm stressed eating.

Let me pause. Let me now acknowledge and address the emotion and go to God with this, work through this, use healthy coping skills. And then if I'm hungry, you know, I, it's not like I, you can't eat. So, so there are times that our emotions can, it's not always black and white. They can be mixed in a little bit, but I think of the important pieces, the awareness of why we're eating.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yeah, that's good. And that awareness I think is huge. I have done some work on myself in the last, gosh, probably four or so years on, you know, why am I walking into the pantry right now? You know, like, what am I looking for? And one thing, and this is just my own personal experience, but one thing I noticed is I would often go in there when, um, I'm frustrated and sometimes with my children and I'm looking for something and it took me a while to have the language for this, but I realized I was looking for control.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yes. 

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: wanted to be able to control something and so I could control that I got to eat. Yeah.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: That's a common one. There, there can be many emotions of why we turned to food and that can be a big one.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Okay. Another hard question, because I know you can handle them. What are your thoughts then on turn to God, not food? Because I feel like in the intuitive eating world, that can be a little complicated. And let me explain why I say that. I mean, yes, turn to God, not food, but we also don't want to demonize food and we don't want it to deny our body.

Um, so. I might've just kind of put some words out there that, but anyway, I would love your thoughts on that. Cause that's a common theme in, especially in Christian diet culture.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Mm hmm. So just to make sure I understand, you're asking like, how, we say that, are you saying like, how do we do that? Are you asking how we do that? Or are we saying in the secular versus the Christian world, how do we approach that?

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: I guess I'm saying like, and I want to be very clear. I'm not saying don't turn to God. I'm not saying that. Yes, do turn to God. However, say someone's really hungry and there's, there's one particular, there's one particular book that was out a while ago that I'm thinking of. I'm not going to say it. And It encouraged you like, well, when you're, you know, when you're hungry, but it's not quote time to eat, or you've quote had enough turn to God, not food.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Okay. You're saying, like, the feasibility. That's the word I'm hearing. Like, like, in

the sense of we still have, we still have body needs. We still have, like, we can't just ignore food, right? And

yes, turning to God is ideal, but we have our physical body aspect of it, too. And even with our emotions, sometimes, what I'm hearing, right, like, sometimes if I'm angry, it's not that easy just to turn to God.

How do I actually tangibly work through this emotion? And this is.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yeah. Well, that was going to be one of them. Yeah. 

Yeah. Let's go there. Let's get there.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Okay. Okay. Just making sure. Um, so, okay. So like you said, turning to God, I would say is the most important like piece of it, but that doesn't always look like, okay, let me just get on my knees right now and put my hands together and pray because the reality is, like you said, we are complex beings and. I do think, okay, if I'm hungry, if my body says I'm hungry, but I'm also feeling angry, that doesn't mean that I shouldn't be eating food because I have an emotion, right? It's, but I think what's important is being able to take moments to pause, to check in with ourself so that we can honor our emotions. Our physical body cues of I'm hungry, right? We don't want to ignore that. And but how do we use healthy tools? So turning to God might not necessarily be like, I said, getting on hands and knees and praying before the Lord. It might be just pausing, taking 3 deep breaths. And then. You know, maybe writing down something and saying, I, I need to process this, but I need to put it in a box or on this piece of paper and I need to come back to this because right now I'm hungry and I can't process this emotion with this hunger in my body in a way that's going to make logical sense. And so I need to honor my body's hunger and then come back to this emotion and work through it. So I think that it's. not always a matter of, it's not always that simple. Does that make sense? Like, I don't

know if that's answering your question. Uh, but tangibly, sometimes we have to do other things. It might mean stepping outside and going for a work for a work, going for a walk and checking in with ourselves and with our body. And maybe we are talking out loud with God, but maybe we don't even have words to save at this time. So we just need to physically move and work out that emotion in order to process it enough. to be able to then come back and fully work through it. And then, you know, and that can be turning to God in, in its own way too.

So there's not, I think we can just easily say, turn to God, but then, well, what does that look like? And

what about all these other things that come up in her body? What happens when I feel the tension, how do I work through tension? Because again, sometimes just by praying in a very structured way is not always the way our body needs to work through it initially. Um, so I hope that answers your question.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yeah, it did. And it wasn't a very, it wasn't a very, uh, I didn't do a great job with the words, but I think, I think we got to the gist of it. Um, you mentioned, healthy tools in dealing with our emotions. And I want to dig in some there because I'm thinking about, I'm thinking, I mean, I'm, there's so much when I hear, you know, emotional eating, my mind goes to like sitting on the floor of the pantry, with the, with the sleeve of Oreos and crying and eating, like that's kind of where, you know, and that's what has been portrayed in the, you know, in the TV or in the media or whatever.

But I think it's a lot more complex than that. And I think that there's a lot more emotion that we might not even realize. So I would love for you to number one, talk to us Some of the various emotions that people are experiencing, um, where maybe they're lacking some kindness since that's the second part of this principle.

And then what are some of those healthy tools that you mentioned to deal with that?

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yeah. Um, you make such a good point because sometimes this is where I think emotional eating, we don't even realize we're doing it. And the thing that comes to my mind that I will explain more here in a moment is boundaries and how that ties to our emotional eating. So If, I lack boundaries, let's say in work or with others, we might find ourselves more stressed.

And when stressed, we are more likely to mindlessly eat or feel unable to connect with our body, that interoceptive awareness, that ability to listen to body cues. And so we can find ourselves really just numbing out and, and kind of mindlessly eating, which in some ways is still that emotional eating because we're, we're. eating because of stress. We're not necessarily in our pantry hiding away. It can just be, I keep walking by the candy jar and grabbing food out mindlessly while I'm pacing the floor because it's something that it's, it's like a tangible thing. Okay. I'm just trying to process this stress that I don't even really know what's going on in my body. And so really the real problem is not the food. It's never really the food. It's maybe the lacking of boundaries that were there in the first place that may be caused over commitment of schedule or Conversations with friends that maybe aren't healthy because there were lacking boundaries or family or whatever that looks like. Um, there also can be, there can be grief and grief is a very complex topic on its, in its own. But when we are in deep, deep, grief, it affects our hunger and fullness cues. And it's not always as simple as, oh, you shouldn't eat when you're sad. Well, that's not necessarily. You have to be careful with those blanket statements because, yeah, we don't want to use food to cope with our, our sadness and our grieving, but grieving itself is complex, and there's layers to grieving.

And so, really, the, sometimes when you're in grief, it's actually better to just eat what you can when you can rather than worrying so much about eating perfectly because a lot of the times when you're in grief, you're not even hungry. And so there's often an avoidance food, or it can be the opposite where we're overeating because we're not actually in tune with our bodies.

So, so it is very complex. It's not just hiding eating. Um, but some of those coping, the coping mechanisms that there's many different aspects to that. So it can depend on what emotions we're needing to work through, right? If it's anger, maybe there's some of that physical release we need where that's where some that's where movement can come in and walking and that type of processing that, that, um, kinesthetic movement I think is an important way, you know, not abusing exercise either.

But yeah. just something to help our hormones, right? Because when we get angry, we have the hormones rush through our body. Um, and then there's also things like stretching and breath prayer and biblical scripture meditation, things like that, which we do need to make time for. And that's, again, kind of comes back to those boundaries and being able to create space for working through emotions and other things. Even, um, the other thing is even just being able to name emotions. As crazy as this sounds, so often if we are not able to put words to what we're feeling in our body, both physically experience and putting a name to the emotion, it can make it really hard to know how to work through something. And so something as simple as even using a motion wheel, And saying, I feel jealous because I'm feeling insecure in who I am is going to help you to actually work through that to a resolution instead of just, why do I feel this bitterness toward this person?

And now I don't know what to do with it and it's just pent up inside and I can't process it. And the next thing you know, we're using food. And so that's a long, long answer, but there's, there's many different aspects. to working through emotions. And then of course, there's like counseling and working, um, talking with a friend, like these types of things.

But, um, but yeah, there's, I believe there's many avenues to working through emotions outside of food and food's not the only thing that can be abused when it comes to working through emotions. So I think the important piece is being able to identify what we're feeling. How we're feeling it and experiencing it in our body and then, and then being able to step back.

Okay. Now, what, let's look at that situation that I'm having this emotion about and how do I work through this? What's my resolution? So that's the healthy way of working through something rather than just experiencing a feeling that we might not know what it is and then trying to numb out coping unhealthy ways.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yeah, those are great. I had a lot of people come to mind as you were talking. Um, one of them is our colleague, Kristen Bunger, who's on our Facebook community group. And I don't remember which principle we were talking about, but because I've done a lot of these, this, let me see here. We were on make peace with food and she said a couple of times, it's about the food, but not about the food.

So what you're talking about, like it's all about the food and it's not about the food.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Exactly, exactly. It's like that's the surface, that's the surface that we see, like the symptom, right? You go to the doctor, what's your symptoms? Okay, but what's the actual cause? What's the virus or what's the bacteria that's causing the symptom?

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yeah, that's a great point that yeah, the food is the symptom and then we got to get to, yeah, we got to get to the problem. And then, um, for those who are interested in learning more about, um, kind of that interoceptive that you were talking about, Brittany, Lisa Dekam is a physical therapist who was on the show at season 19.

Um, Go listen to her. She works a lot with people who have eating disorders from, from her physical therapist and, um, really, really great stuff there. And then the emotions, when you were talking about just naming it and identifying it, uh, Brene Brown's Atlas of the heart book is really good with that because she goes through and actually names emotions rather than like sad, mad, happy, angry.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yeah. Yeah,

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yes. 

So. Something like that. Um, what do you wish people knew about, about the relationship with eating and food and our emotions?

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: I think, honestly, it goes back to what we were talking about at the beginning. I wish more people saw the positive emotional tie to food because, yes, it's important that we look at the negative side where we're using food in unhealthy ways, but I wish more people were able to see the positive emotional ties to food and the way God made it because I feel like it allows us to appreciate with more gratitude in. Just, just fellowship with others or holding on to those memories of people we love in our life. Like our grandmothers who made that one thing that we can never replicate again. And how many memories we have around the table, eating that food and the positive emotions that brings up in the body. And I just wish more people were able to experience that and see that and not always focus so much on fear and Lack of grace for themselves with the negative emotions that they tie to food.

Because, yes, again, that's important. We need to learn how to not use food in an unhealthy way for emotional coping and processing. But, I just, I don't know. I look through the Bible, and I see Jesus, and I see God, and I just see him all over. The goodness of fellowship around the table. I mean, Jesus ate with people.

That's what he did. I mean,

I mean, he, obviously That's not like why he of what he did, but that's where he met with people. That's where he was found so often was sharing a meal with others. And I just, I think about how we could as, as believers and friends and family, even if you're not a believer, like just inviting people into your home and if food was not a struggle, how much more you could connect with people at the table, how much more you could develop those deeper relationships. You can meet people where they're at and be able to speak life and truth into them. And I just think that's the, the positive emotional place that we can have with food.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: I love that. And I would add to that. Where we're not adding a side heaping or heaping side of shame, 

you know, cause there's, there's so, I have seen this so many times and I used to be there of like, Oh, I'm really enjoying this. And this has 

been awesome. And now I have to work this off or, Oh, I shouldn't have that.

And you get, you start, um, shooting all over yourself, uh, with regard to food. And so I think I, I love your encouragement of allowing us to, um, witness. Jesus and his relationship with food and celebration and nourishment, you know, spiritual and physical nourishment and connection with his friends without feeling guilt or shame about it.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yeah. And, you know, on an even deeper level, think about

communion. 

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yeah.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: I mean, how does Jesus tangibly show up for us now in the blood and the body, which is the, the wine and the bread? I mean,

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yeah,

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: I think about that piece of it, and what, I mean, yes, that's important spiritually, but the emotional, like that, that, that doesn't just, that's not just spiritual.

That's also our physical body being impacted. That's also our emotional body being impacted, our mental, our spiritual, like, I, I just, I mean, it's beautiful, honestly.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: it is. Yes.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: important to God in the representation.

It is. He uses it in the most powerful way, you

know, when it comes to communion.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yes. Yes. I'm so glad you made that connection. Thank you for that. Brittany, you have several amazing resources on your website and I'm going to read off a couple of them and then I'm going to let you describe, um, the, um, Nutrition membership. Um, you have a seven days to escape the bondage of body image obsession, which we didn't talk about body image much today, but that has is and or has been a struggle for me and much of my community.

So you have that devotion and you have a Christ centered intuitive eating course, and then you also have the creator's vessel nutrition membership. Tell us some about that nutrition membership.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yes. So the membership is an additional step to my course that I have where women who are in different places in their journey with intuitive eating are coming together and we have coaching calls and it's a community where you're not walking this journey alone. You have support from other believers, from myself, and. Honestly, that for so many of my clients, I have heard time and time again, that that is the most valuable piece for them is being able to come together to share their struggles and to get support, to get prayer, to get encouragement, because oftentimes when we're walking this, Especially if we're the first ones in our friends and family group to really tackle this, it can feel like a really lonely journey to be honest.

Um, I know I went through that, but then as God brought people in my life and other sisters in Christ, like in our community of professionals, we have, that was huge. That made a big difference for me. And I seen that in my clients. So that membership is a ongoing monthly community of women who are walking the journey of Christ centered intuitive eating.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: I love that. That's a wonderful next step to take. If you are listening and you are ready for community. Um, community has really been on my heart lately and I haven't quite figured out how to foster that as best I can within the boundaries that I have. So I love that. You are offering that and that that's a resource.

Um, okay. Brittany tell people where they can connect with you.

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: Yes, so I am on Instagram and it's at Brittany Wilson RDN for Registered Dietitian Nutritionist. Um, and my Brittany is spelled like the British B R I T T A N Y, just a side note. I am not, I'm not the N E Y. So it's Brittany Wilson RDN on Instagram. And then I am on Facebook as well, if you look up Revelation Nutrition slash Brittany Wilson. Should come up on Facebook. So yeah, that's usually where I have people connect or my website, which I know you said would be in the show

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Yes. And all of those resources will be in the show notes as well. Okay. You get the last word. What is the one simple thing you want people to remember about our conversation?

brittany-wilson_1_06-12-2024_140700: would say that the simple thing I want somebody to remember is that Jesus meets you in every meal that you eat and he made that food to be enjoyed and to enjoy that with you. And so the emotions that you have, they're not too big for God. They're not too hard for God. He cares about them, but every time that we are with him, we are able to experience his love, his joy, his peace.

And like, that is the bread of life. Like his presence is the bread of life and it's something we can rejoice in.

amy_2_06-12-2024_150700: Amen. Okay. That is all for today. Go out there and have a great day.

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