Caloroga Shark Media

Episodes

June 4, 2025

Saharan Dust Clouds, Diddy Drama, and the World’s Dumbest License Pla…

From Washington, D.C., where apparently we're all amateur meteorologists now, this is Ballot. Today we talk about the massive Saharan dust cloud blanketing the Caribbean like it booked a long weekend on JetBlue, and how it's ...

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June 3, 2025

Why the Sky is Smoky: Canada's Wildfires, Mount Etna Erupts, and Bide…

Canada's wildfires are causing smoky skies from coast to coast, with smoke reaching as far south as Florida. But wait, is it Biden or one of his clones behind it? Meanwhile, Mount Etna erupts in Sicily, and the acting head of...

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June 2, 2025

Trump’s Statue Garden Dream, Gen Z’s Bar Tab Crisis, and Goodyear’s B…

In this episode, we dive into the absurdity of Trump’s ambitious plan to build a National Garden of American Heroes—250 statues by next year, but it’s already facing serious roadblocks from sculpture experts. We also unpack t...

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May 30, 2025

United Airlines’ New Check-In Rule, Turkey’s Airplane Etiquette Fines…

United Airlines is making passengers check in 15 minutes earlier, but will it really help with delays? Meanwhile, Turkey cracks down on early standers during landing with fines, tackling a major airplane etiquette issue. As s...

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May 29, 2025

Trump’s Mixed Signals on Russia, RFK Jr.’s Vaccine Shift, and Macron’…

President Trump is sending mixed signals on Russia, going from praising Vladimir Putin as a "nice gentleman" to accusing him of "playing with fire" amid stalled peace negotiations. Meanwhile, RFK Jr. stirs controversy by remo...

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May 28, 2025

Trump Pardons 'Chrisley Knows Best' Stars, Offers Canada a 'Deal,' an…

President Trump steps in to pardon Todd and Julie Chrisley, reality TV stars convicted of tax evasion and fraud. The White House calls it a second chance for "unfairly targeted" Americans, but critics aren't so sure. Meanwhil...

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May 27, 2025

We Already Broke the Planet—Now Who Wants Obama’s Beach House?

Scientists say it’s already too late to stop the polar ice caps from melting. But sure, go ahead and drop $39 million on Obama’s Martha’s Vineyard estate—it comes with ocean views, emphasis on ocean. Plus, archaeologists in N...

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May 26, 2025

King Charles Goes to Canada, and the Government Builds a Super Clock

Patrick Gutfield opens with a solemn tribute to the real meaning of Memorial Day—then gets back to business roasting world leaders and scientific overkill. King Charles makes a rare speech in Canada just as Trump jokes about ...

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May 23, 2025

Trump’s Salad Meltdown, a $258 Billion Surprise, and a Plane With No …

Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week’s wildest headlines—from Trump allegedly firing a chef over Caesar salad to the U.S. government accidentally running a massive budget surplus. Plus: a Lufthansa flight flies without a pil...

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May 22, 2025

Trump’s “Free” Jet Isn’t Free and AI Made Up Beach Reads

Trump says Qatar gave him a $400 million jet for free—except he asked for it, picked it out, and now taxpayers are footing the bill. Oh, and he’s building a $175 billion Golden Dome missile shield like this is a Bond movie. M...

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May 21, 2025

Half-Baked Outbursts, Harvard’s $27 Magna Carta, and the Kansas City …

Ben & Jerry’s co-founder gets kicked out of a Senate hearing for yelling about bombs. Meanwhile, Kansas City loses a legendary BBQ joint to—you guessed it—parking. Harvard accidentally discovers a real Magna Carta worth milli...

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May 20, 2025

Joe Biden’s Cancer Diagnosis, Trump’s Sudden Niceness, and the Pope G…

President Biden reveals a serious cancer diagnosis, Trump offers unexpected kindness, and Kamala calls him a fighter. But the awkward questions about Biden’s age, memory, and fitness aren’t going away—especially with new audi...

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May 19, 2025

Mexican Navy Ship Crashes into Brooklyn Bridge, JD Vance Meets Pope L…

In today’s episode of Ballot, we dive into the surreal: a Mexican Navy training ship slams into the Brooklyn Bridge.Then it's off to the Vatican, where Vice President JD Vance attends the historic inauguration Mass of Pope Le...

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May 15, 2025

Even the Pope Gets Sent to Voicemail: Papal Pranks, AI Aging, and Swa…

Pope Leo XIV’s call as Supreme Pontiff goes straight to voicemail—because his brother was busy. We break down the viral sibling moment, explore a new AI that guesses your age from a selfie (sorry, Wilford Brimley), and wade i...

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May 15, 2025

Trump’s Jet Envy, World Peace via Soccer, and the $1,200 Candy Heist …

From Trump drooling over Qatar’s marble palaces and begging for a new plane, to his latest peace proposal—letting Russia play in the World Cup if they stop the whole “war” thing—it’s been another week of global diplomacy, Tru...

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May 14, 2025

The Pope's MAGA Brother and Other Family Dramas

Patrick Gutfield dives into the day's wildest family dynamics - from Melania Trump's fourteen-day White House attendance record to the new Pope's Trump-supporting brother who shares memes about tarring and feathering Democrat...

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May 14, 2025

Trump's Middle East Money Tour, Netflix's Giant Leap & Disney Goes De…

Netflix announces their biggest homepage overhaul in 12 years with AI-powered search and TikTok-style features. Disney reveals plans for their tech-forward Abu Dhabi theme park, their first new resort since Shanghai 2016. And...

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May 12, 2025

Judge Jeanine Takes DC, Qatar's Flying Palace Gift & Trump's Middle E…

Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump's shocking appointment of Fox News' Judge Jeanine Pirro as interim US Attorney for Washington DC after Ed Martin's nomination flops. Plus: Qatar gifts Trump a $400 million Boeing 747-8 'flyi...

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May 9, 2025

Trump's Alcatraz Revival, Hollywood Tariffs, and Belichick's Girlfrie…

Patrick Gutfield skewers Trump's bizarre plan to reopen Alcatraz prison, his one hundred percent tariff on foreign films that has Whoopi Goldberg fuming, and the twenty-four-year-old girlfriend possibly perhaps maybe conceivably controlling Bill...

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May 8, 2025

America Makes Popes Great Again

Patrick Gutfield had to work TWICE today on what supposedly is a national holiday! Did you hear we have a new Pope and he is Pope Leo XIV from Chicago? We have the details, or at least some AI generated jokes.

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May 8, 2025

Trump's Constitutional Questions, Papal AI, and Hollywood's Portugal …

Patrick Gutfield delivers razor-sharp commentary on Trump's Meet the Press confession about the Constitution, his bizarre AI papal image controversy, and why Sopranos star Joe Pantoliano is joining celebrities fleeing to Port...

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May 7, 2025

Trump Declares War on Barbie as Pope Dreams Collide with Eyeball-Scan…

Patrick Gutfield skewers Trump's bizarre crusade against "excessive Barbie ownership" while the former president jokes about becoming the next pope. Meanwhile, San Francisco tech bros are scanning eyeballs to prove you're not a robot—all while serving...

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May 6, 2025

Trump Plans Birthday Tank Parade as Jersey Scrambles for IDs and Robo…

Patrick Gutfield delivers a biting commentary on Trump's multi-million dollar birthday parade plans complete with tanks and seven bands. Meanwhile, New Jersey residents can't get REAL IDs before the deadline, and driverless trucks are now operating...

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May 5, 2025

Trump Goes Off-Script at Bama Graduation, Declares War on Big Bird

Patrick Gutfield hilariously skewers Trump's rambling University of Alabama commencement speech and his executive order slashing PBS funding. From renaming Veterans Day to firing Elmo,   The American Dream might be back, but apparently so is...

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