Episodes

From Washington, D.C., where apparently we're all amateur meteorologists now, this is Ballot. Today we talk about the massive Saharan dust cloud blanketing the Caribbean like it booked a long weekend on JetBlue, and how it's dimming the sun, irritating lungs, and reminding Florida that yes, weather can be worse.Then: Trump flirts with the idea of pardoning Diddy—yes, that Diddy—and 50 Cent jumps in to block it like it's the BET Awards beef bracket. Meanwhile, in Florida, a sheriff’s deputy thoug...

Canada's wildfires are causing smoky skies from coast to coast, with smoke reaching as far south as Florida. But wait, is it Biden or one of his clones behind it? Meanwhile, Mount Etna erupts in Sicily, and the acting head of FEMA has a disaster of his own. Don't miss the latest antics of Trump and his social media obsession. Get the rundown on these fiery, smoky, and controversial events.

In this episode, we dive into the absurdity of Trump’s ambitious plan to build a National Garden of American Heroes—250 statues by next year, but it’s already facing serious roadblocks from sculpture experts. We also unpack the quirks of Gen Z and their bar tab anxiety—because apparently, leaving a tab open is just too much commitment. Meanwhile, Goodyear celebrates a century of their blimp with a ridiculously slow "Victory Lap" over Ohio, and of course, Take Our Kids to Work Day at the White Ho...

United Airlines is making passengers check in 15 minutes earlier, but will it really help with delays? Meanwhile, Turkey cracks down on early standers during landing with fines, tackling a major airplane etiquette issue. As summer approaches, the U.S. braces for another heatwave with the West facing droughts and the East dealing with humidity. Get the scoop on travel chaos, airplane behavior, and weather forecasts in today’s headlines!

President Trump is sending mixed signals on Russia, going from praising Vladimir Putin as a "nice gentleman" to accusing him of "playing with fire" amid stalled peace negotiations. Meanwhile, RFK Jr. stirs controversy by removing COVID vaccine recommendations for pregnant women and children, without informing the CDC. French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte create a viral moment with an awkward slap during their visit to Vietnam. It’s a day of political drama you won’t want to mis...

President Trump steps in to pardon Todd and Julie Chrisley, reality TV stars convicted of tax evasion and fraud. The White House calls it a second chance for "unfairly targeted" Americans, but critics aren't so sure. Meanwhile, Trump stirs the pot with Canada, offering them free missile defense protection if they become the U.S.'s 51st state—though Canada’s prime minister is having none of it. Lastly, Trump’s ongoing battle with Harvard has sparked conspiracy theories, as he freezes their fundin...

Scientists say it’s already too late to stop the polar ice caps from melting. But sure, go ahead and drop $39 million on Obama’s Martha’s Vineyard estate—it comes with ocean views, emphasis on ocean. Plus, archaeologists in Naples open a sealed 2,000-year-old tomb, because clearly no one has ever seen a mummy movie. The climate is doomed, real estate is absurd, and history wants a word. Hosted by Patrick Gutfield.

Patrick Gutfield opens with a solemn tribute to the real meaning of Memorial Day—then gets back to business roasting world leaders and scientific overkill. King Charles makes a rare speech in Canada just as Trump jokes about annexing it, scientists unveil a $10 million atomic clock that’s somehow more punctual than the IRS, and archaeologists open a 2,000-year-old sarcophagus because clearly no one’s seen a mummy movie. Plus: was that ancient Roman buried with… a toiletry bag?

Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week’s wildest headlines—from Trump allegedly firing a chef over Caesar salad to the U.S. government accidentally running a massive budget surplus. Plus: a Lufthansa flight flies without a pilot for ten minutes (nope, not autopilot), and the national debt becomes a cosmic concept. It’s a bumpy ride, so buckle up—and maybe keep your own salad opinions to yourself.

Trump says Qatar gave him a $400 million jet for free—except he asked for it, picked it out, and now taxpayers are footing the bill. Oh, and he’s building a $175 billion Golden Dome missile shield like this is a Bond movie. Meanwhile, two major newspapers published fake book recommendations made up by AI bots. Fake books, fake gifts, fake news—it’s all here. Hosted by Patrick Gutfield.

Ben & Jerry’s co-founder gets kicked out of a Senate hearing for yelling about bombs. Meanwhile, Kansas City loses a legendary BBQ joint to—you guessed it—parking. Harvard accidentally discovers a real Magna Carta worth millions. And somehow, it all makes sense. From ice cream to ancient parchment, it’s another Monday in America.

President Biden reveals a serious cancer diagnosis, Trump offers unexpected kindness, and Kamala calls him a fighter. But the awkward questions about Biden’s age, memory, and fitness aren’t going away—especially with new audio from his Hur interview. Meanwhile, Trump launches a bizarre crusade against Bruce Springsteen, Beyoncé, and Bono. Plus: Vice President JD Vance visits Pope Leo XIV and gifts him… a Chicago Bears jersey? Yeah, we go there.

In today’s episode of Ballot, we dive into the surreal: a Mexican Navy training ship slams into the Brooklyn Bridge.Then it's off to the Vatican, where Vice President JD Vance attends the historic inauguration Mass of Pope Leo XIV—the first American pontiff—just four Sundays after Pope Francis called his theology "garbage." Meanwhile, New Jersey is falling apart (literally) with sinkholes, airport staffing chaos, and train strikes. And if that weren’t enough, Bruce Springsteen and Donald Trump a...

Pope Leo XIV’s call as Supreme Pontiff goes straight to voicemail—because his brother was busy. We break down the viral sibling moment, explore a new AI that guesses your age from a selfie (sorry, Wilford Brimley), and wade into questionable waters as RFK Jr. takes his grandkids for a dip in a bacteria-infested creek. Plus: Steven Seagal's parade cameo in Russia. Yes, really.

From Trump drooling over Qatar’s marble palaces and begging for a new plane, to his latest peace proposal—letting Russia play in the World Cup if they stop the whole “war” thing—it’s been another week of global diplomacy, Trump-style. Meanwhile, we check in on “ChiefsAholic,” the NFL superfan turned bank robber, and head to London, where American candy stores are charging $1,200 for two packs of sweets and hiding behind secret Scooby-Doo panels. No, really. All that plus gold accents in the Oval...

Patrick Gutfield dives into the day's wildest family dynamics - from Melania Trump's fourteen-day White House attendance record to the new Pope's Trump-supporting brother who shares memes about tarring and feathering Democrats. Plus, the Army's new fitness test that makes civilians voluntarily torture themselves, and why deadlifting one hundred fifty pounds is basically just picking up your entire closet.

Netflix announces their biggest homepage overhaul in 12 years with AI-powered search and TikTok-style features. Disney reveals plans for their tech-forward Abu Dhabi theme park, their first new resort since Shanghai 2016. And the Golden Globes make history by adding podcast categories - could Joe Rogan win the same award as Meryl Streep?

Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump's shocking appointment of Fox News' Judge Jeanine Pirro as interim US Attorney for Washington DC after Ed Martin's nomination flops. Plus: Qatar gifts Trump a $400 million Boeing 747-8 'flying palace' that's totally, definitely not bugged. And Trump kicks off his second term with a business-focused Middle East tour to Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and UAE - skipping traditional allies and Israel. All the political drama with trademark Gutfield snark.

Patrick Gutfield skewers Trump's bizarre plan to reopen Alcatraz prison, his one hundred percent tariff on foreign films that has Whoopi Goldberg fuming, and the twenty-four-year-old girlfriend possibly perhaps maybe conceivably controlling Bill...

Patrick Gutfield had to work TWICE today on what supposedly is a national holiday! Did you hear we have a new Pope and he is Pope Leo XIV from Chicago? We have the details, or at least some AI generated jokes.

Patrick Gutfield delivers razor-sharp commentary on Trump's Meet the Press confession about the Constitution, his bizarre AI papal image controversy, and why Sopranos star Joe Pantoliano is joining celebrities fleeing to Portugal.

Patrick Gutfield skewers Trump's bizarre crusade against "excessive Barbie ownership" while the former president jokes about becoming the next pope. Meanwhile, San Francisco tech bros are scanning eyeballs to prove you're not a robot—all while serving...

Patrick Gutfield delivers a biting commentary on Trump's multi-million dollar birthday parade plans complete with tanks and seven bands. Meanwhile, New Jersey residents can't get REAL IDs before the deadline, and driverless trucks are now operating...

Patrick Gutfield hilariously skewers Trump's rambling University of Alabama commencement speech and his executive order slashing PBS funding. From renaming Veterans Day to firing Elmo,   The American Dream might be back, but apparently so is...