June 2, 2025

Trump’s Statue Garden Dream, Gen Z’s Bar Tab Crisis, and Goodyear’s Blimp Victory Lap

Show Notes
Transcript

In this episode, we dive into the absurdity of Trump’s ambitious plan to build a National Garden of American Heroes—250 statues by next year, but it’s already facing serious roadblocks from sculpture experts. We also unpack the quirks of Gen Z and their bar tab anxiety—because apparently, leaving a tab open is just too much commitment. Meanwhile, Goodyear celebrates a century of their blimp with a ridiculously slow "Victory Lap" over Ohio, and of course, Take Our Kids to Work Day at the White House brings us the hard-hitting questions: What candy does President Trump eat? Spoiler: It’s not red Starbursts. Tune in for all the madness, from controversial statues to the “Trump Shuffle” on the South Lawn!

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Caalaroga Shark media from Washington, d C. Where Trump wants

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to build a statue garden. This is ballot and gen

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Z apparently doesn't know how to order it a bar.

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What's even happening to this country? So Trump wants to

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build a national garden of American heroes with two hundred

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and fifty statues by July fourth, twenty twenty six. That's

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next year, which means we have about one year to

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create a quarter thousand life size statues. What could go wrong? Well,

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according to sculpture experts, literally everything. Daniel Koonitz from Sculpture

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Magazine says the plan is completely unworkable. And when Sculpture

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Magazine thinks your sculpture plan won't work, that's probably not

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a great sign. The timeline is absolutely bonkers. Applications are

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due July first, winners get notified in September, and the

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statues need to be delivered by June first, twenty twenty six.

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That's like ordering a wedding cake the morning of your

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wedding and expecting it to have seven tiers. But here's

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the best part. Trump's plan, specifically forbids abstract or modernist statues,

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he wants old school realist work. And guess where most

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of the artisans who specialize in that style are located. China.

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So Trump's America first statue garden might end up being

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made in China. You literally cannot make this up. Dylan Farnham,

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who ran a major foundry, explains the problem. There are

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places where you can really whip some stuff off. They

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can do it in China, and the sculptures aren't cheap.

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Each one costs two hundred thousand dollars. At this rate,

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we're talking about fifty million dollars for what one expert

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compared to a government run version of Madame Tussaud's wax Museum.

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The subject list is its own comedy show. We've got

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Patrick Henry next to Whitney Houston, Muhammad Ali beside William Rehnquist,

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and somehow Alex Trebek made the cut. Alex Trebek, the

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Canadian Jeopardy host, is getting a statue in the National

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Garden of American Heroes. I guess what is American exceptionalism?

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Was the Daily Double Oh, And they don't have a

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location yet. The plan calls for a suitable space to

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be identified. South Dakota offered a spot near Mount Rushmore,

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which is perfect. Nothing says thoughtful artistic curation like all

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roadside attraction next to the world's most famous presidential rock faces.

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One sculptor described it as having a circus mentality, saying

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people will want their picture taken with Babe Ruth or

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MLK or whoever, which pretty much sums up the whole project.

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Babe Ruth or MLK or whoever. Really capturing the gravitas

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there the real tragedy. While everyone's arguing about who should

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be included, nobody's asking whether we can actually build the thing.

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But hey, at least when it fails spectacularly, we'll have

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a really expensive pile of Maid in China stickers to

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show for it. So those weirdos in gen Z have

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decided that opening a bar tab is too much commitment.

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These are the same people who swipe right on dating

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apps all night but won't leave their credit card with

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a bartender for two hours. The reasons are fascinating. Gen

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Z drinks less than older generations, they're used to tapping

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their phones for everything, and they get anxious about losing

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track of spending. Cameron Jilluska, a twenty six year old

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from Washington, told Washpoke keeping a tab open increases his anxiety. Sir,

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if a bar tab gives you anxiety, wait until you

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hear about mortgages. But here's the thing that's driving bartenders

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absolutely insane. When you close out after every single drink,

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you're slowing down service for everyone. Bartender Al Barber manages

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a bar in LA and he's not having it. He says,

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these kids never learned the proper way to be a barfly.

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Now bartenders are having to teach basic bar etiquette. Bartender

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in Seattle will literally call out groups of friends. You

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guys all know each other. You guys not friends. You

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can't get this round, she says. Someone has to bully

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these people respectfully, of course, and the math is brutal

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for bars. Every time you swipe your card, the bar

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pays fees. If you spend one hundred dollars and ten

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separate transactions instead of one, those fees go from four

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dollars and thirty cents to seven dollars. When you're processing

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hundreds of transactions a night. That adds up faster than

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your student loan interest. The best part, some of these

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gen Z customers get too shy to flag down the

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bartender to close their tab, so they just wait. James

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Burns once missed his bus home because he was too

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polite to interrupt the bartender. He literally chose public transportation

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consequences over social awkwardness. That's the most gen z thing

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I've ever heard. One bartender has started preemptively telling customers, Hey, guys,

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let's just start tabs right now. He's basically become a

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bar tab life coach. Next he'll be offering seminars tab commitment,

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learning to leave your card behind. Goodyear is celebrating the

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one hundredth anniversary of their blimp by doing something they're

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calling a once in a lifetime event, flying all three

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blimps together over northeast Ohio, which is great news for

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anyone who's ever looked up at the sky and thought,

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you know what, this needs more advertising. They're calling it

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a victory lap, which sounds impressive until you realize we're

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talking about vehicles that travel at the breakneck speed of

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thirty five miles per hour. At that pace, their victory

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lap is going to take longer than most people's commute

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to work. The best viewing spot is apparently wing Foot

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Lake State Park, where you can watch from the waterfront

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finally a reason to go to a lake in Ohio

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that doesn't involve explaining to your friends why you move there.

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But here's where it gets really Ohio. They're timing one

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of the flyovers with the Akron Rubber Ducks baseball game.

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The rubber Ducks, that's a real team name, and they're

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playing the Chesapeake Bass, which sounds like someone lost a

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bet in the team naming department. The first one thousand

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fans of the game get a free T shirt with

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a blimp on it. Nothing says collector's item like a

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free T shirt featuring a giant balloon filled with helium.

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I'm sure those will be worth dozens of dollars on

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eBay someday. They're also doing a flyover during Akron's State

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of the City address at something called Lock three. I

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don't know what Lock three is, but it sounds like

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either a really boring municipal building or the least exciting

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escape room ever created. The whole thing runs from June

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third through June fifth, so you have three whole days

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to crane your neck upward and squint at what are

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essentially very slow, very large billboards, and knowing Goodyear, they'll

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probably find a way to work in a tire sale

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promotion while they're up there. One hundred years of blimps everyone.

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That's a century of people pointing at the sky and saying, hey, look,

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it's the goodyear limp, as if they've just spotted Bigfoot

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instead of a floating advertisement that moves slower than rush

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hour traffic. The White House held their annual take Our

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Kids to Work Day, and naturally, the first thing these

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young reporters wanted to know was the hard hitting stuff,

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what candy does the President eat? Press Secretary Caroline Leavitt

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revealed that Trump consumes a good amount of candy daily,

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with Pink Starburst and Tootsie Rolls being his go to choices.

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Pink Starburst because even his candy preferences have to be controversial.

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I mean, everyone knows the red ones are superior, but

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here we are. The kids also grilled Levitt about Trump's

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other dietary habits, and apparently the man enjoys a big,

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beautiful steak, ice cream Sundays with chocolate sauce, and McDonald's

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hamburgers and fries. So basically the diet of a twelve

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year old who just won the lottery, but The real

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moment came when one brave child asked about Trump's favorite

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child among his five adult kids. Levitt immediately shut that down,

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saying it was too controversial to answer. Think about that.

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In a world where we debate everything from trade wars

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to immigration policy, asking a dad to pick his favorite

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kid is where we draw the line. Smart move. Honestly,

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that's the kind of question that starts family feuds that

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last decades. Meanwhile, Milania was busy with the younger kids,

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helping them decorate wooden American flags with glitter stars. She

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told the children their work was beautiful, which is probably

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the most diplomatic thing anyone said in that building all week.

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And Trump himself he was supposed to have a public

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event with the kids, but they decided against press coverage, though,

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and A did share video of him doing his signature

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dance move for the children. Nothing says presidential dignity quite

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like busting out the Trump Shuffle for a bunch of

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ten year olds on the South Lawn. Portions of today's

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show were made with the help of Ai