May 30, 2025

United Airlines’ New Check-In Rule, Turkey’s Airplane Etiquette Fines, and the Scorching Summer Ahead

Show Notes
Transcript

United Airlines is making passengers check in 15 minutes earlier, but will it really help with delays? Meanwhile, Turkey cracks down on early standers during landing with fines, tackling a major airplane etiquette issue. As summer approaches, the U.S. braces for another heatwave with the West facing droughts and the East dealing with humidity. Get the scoop on travel chaos, airplane behavior, and weather forecasts in today’s headlines!

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Callaroga shark media from Newark Airport where you have to

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get here early to be delayed seven hours.

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This is valid, that's right.

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Why wait seven hours for your flight when you can

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wait seven hours and fifteen minutes.

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Let's get this.

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United Airlines just announced they're changing their check in deadlines

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from thirty minutes to forty five minutes before departure. And

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you know what, good because apparently there's a whole TikTok

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trend called airport theory, where people film themselves sprinting through

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terminals fifteen to twenty minutes before their flight takes off.

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This is peak gen Z behavior, turning your travel anxiety

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into content. Hey everyone, watch me have a panic attack

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in Newark for views. These are the same people who

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show up to movies during the previews and act like

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they're living dangerously.

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But here's my question.

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If you're willing to risk missing your flight for a

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TikTok video, why are you flying United in the first place.

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That's masochism with extra steps.

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United's customer service is already an extreme sport. You don't

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need to add time pressure to make it more challenging.

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United wants to make sure you're there early before the

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seven hour delay because a Newark airport doesn't have enough

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air traffic controllers and sometimes loses contact with planes. The

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airline says this change brings greater consistency to their policies.

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You know what else would bring consistency actually having flights

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that leave on time. But no, let's focus on making

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sure passengers show up earlier so they can wait longer

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in those delightful airport chairs that were clearly designed by

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someone who hates the human spine. Delta already implemented this

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rule back in April, which means United is basically copying

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Delta's homework. Nothing says innovation like being four months behind

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your competitor. That's the airline equivalent of showing up to

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a party and saying sorry, I'm late, I was stuck

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in traffic wheneveryone else took the same route.

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And here's the best part.

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If you don't check in on time, we'll put you

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on standby for a flight that leaves tomorrow and act

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like we're doing you a favor, because nothing says customer

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service like making your booking disappear faster than a magician's rabbit.

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The real winners here are the airports.

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More people arriving earlier means more time to buy twenty

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dollars sandwiches and five dollars bottles of water. Newark Airport's

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convenience stores are probably celebrating this announcement harder than their

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customer satisfaction ratings.

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Ever, Will.

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Turkey just decided to start finding airplane passengers who stand

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up too early during landing, and honestly, it's about time

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someone addressed the great airplane etiquette crisis of our era.

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The Turkish Director at General of Civil Aviation, which sounds

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like the most bureaucratic name possible for people who are

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tired of your nonsense, issued a warning that passengers who

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jump up before the plane stops moving, or crowd the

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aisle before their turn, will face fines of around sixty

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seven dollars.

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Now, we've all been on that flight.

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The plane touches down and suddenly everyone transforms into Olympic sprinters,

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leaping out of their seats like the aircraft is on fire.

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These are the same people who probably cut in line

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at Starbucks and then act confused when everyone glares at them.

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The directive specifically mentions passengers who don't respect the disembarkation

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priority of the passengers in front of or around you.

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That's a very polite way of saying, stop acting like animals.

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It's an airplane, not the Hunger Games. Nobody's winning a

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prize for getting off first. What kills me is that

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this behavior actually makes dplaning slower. When someone stands up

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while the plane is still moving, the flight crew has

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to alert the pilot, which delays everything. So, congratulations, you've

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just made everyone wait longer because you couldn't sit still

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for thirty more seconds. That's like honking at a red

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light to make it turn green faster. The fine is

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reportedly around sixty seven dollars, which seems reasonable. That's basically

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the cost of airport parking for two hours, So if

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you can afford to fly, you can afford to learn

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basic human decency. Flight attendants have been dealing with this forever.

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One attendant told reporters that standing up while the plane

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is moving is a safety issue, but let's be honest,

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it's also a sanity issue. These people have to maintain

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their composure while passengers act like toddlers who just discovered

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they have legs. Turkey isn't alone in this fight. Against

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airplane chaos. The FAA logged nearly nine hundred reports of

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unruly behavior in just the first nine months of twenty

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twenty four. That's more than we're reported in all of

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twenty eighteen. Apparently the pandemic didn't just affect our immune systems,

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it also damaged our ability to sit quietly in a

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metal tube. The best part of this whole story is

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that etiquette experts had to weigh in and confirm that, yes,

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you should wait your turn to exit. We needed professional

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etiquette experts to tell adults not to push past each

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other on an airplane. That's where we are as society.

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So we just had a late spring cold snap that

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broke dozens of temperature records across northern States, and apparently

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everyone's wondering if this means we're getting a break from

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the heat this summer.

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Spoiler alert, We're not.

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Noah's seasonal outlook is basically telling us to prepare for

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another scorching summer, with warmer than average temperatures expected across

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most of the country. Last summer was the fourth warmest

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on record for the United States and the warmest ever

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recorded globally, so naturally, this summer is looking to follow

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that trend, because why would we catch a break. The

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report describes seasonal weather outlooks as being a bit like

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knowing the theme of a costume party. You have a

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general idea of what to expect, but not exactly how

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each guest will show up.

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Dressed or when.

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That's a surprisingly poetic way to say, we know it's

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going to be hot, but we can't tell you exactly

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when you'll want to die from the heat.

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Speaking of dying from heat, heat.

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The West Coast is expected to get hit particularly hard,

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where drought conditions could make heat waves even more intense.

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Because apparently regular heat waves weren't challenging enough, now we're

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getting premium drought enhanced versions. But here's where it gets

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really fun. The East Coast is looking at increased humidity

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thanks to something called a heat dome that caused Western

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Atlantic sea temperatures to soar. So while the West gets

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dry heat, the East gets to experience what meteorologists politely

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call sultry conditions. That's weather speak for you're going to

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feel like you're living inside someone's mouth. The precipitation forecast

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is doing that classic American thing where the East gets

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too much and the West gets too little. Eastern states

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are expected to be wetter than normal, which sounds nice

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until you realize that means more tropical downpours and storms. Meanwhile,

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Western states are looking at continued drought and an early

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start to wildfire season. Balance is apparently not nature's strong suit.

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Northern states are getting unusually clear skies, which means more

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sunshine but also more reasons to remember where you put

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your sunscreen. Southern states get the opposite, more storms and

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cloud cover, because why should anyone have nice things consistently?

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And if you're in Washington, d C. Mark your calendars.

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July nineteenth is historically the hottest day of the year.

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That's when the nation's capital becomes less seat of democracy

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and more surface of mercury. The most humid quarter of

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the year runs from June twelfth to September tenth, which

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is basically three months of feeling like you're wearing a

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wet sweater made of air. The bottom line is that,

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despite this recent cold snap making everyone hopeful, Summer twenty

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twenty five is shaping up to be another scorcher. So

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enjoy these cooler temperatures while they last, because in about

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a week we'll all be reminiscing about the good old

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days when we could go outside without melting. Portions of

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today's program were made with the help of AI and

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now Boarding Group two