May 21, 2025

Half-Baked Outbursts, Harvard’s $27 Magna Carta, and the Kansas City BBQ Tragedy

Show Notes
Transcript

Ben & Jerry’s co-founder gets kicked out of a Senate hearing for yelling about bombs. Meanwhile, Kansas City loses a legendary BBQ joint to—you guessed it—parking. Harvard accidentally discovers a real Magna Carta worth millions. And somehow, it all makes sense. From ice cream to ancient parchment, it’s another Monday in America.

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Callaroga Shark media.

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From Washington, DC, where half baked isn't just an ice

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cream flavor, this is ballot.

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That's right.

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I'm Patrick Gutfield here to serve you the latest scoops

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from DC and other terrible hackey jokes. So the co

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founder of Ben and Jerry's got kicked out of a

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Senate hearing for yelling Congress pays for bombs, which honestly

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sounds like a rejected flavor name. Right next to chunky

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Monkey and Cherry Garcia, we'd have Congressional complicity crunch. Ben

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Cohen and yes that's actually his name, not just half

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of an ice cream brand, stood up fifteen minutes into

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a hearing about healthcare and decided to make his point

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about military spending because nothing says let's talk about Medicaid

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cuts like getting escorted out by security. Cohen told News

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Nation that Congress has been cutting money for healthcare for

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poor kids while using those save to bomb other poor

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kids in Gaza, which is a pretty stark way to

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frame foreign policy. But hey, the man knows how to

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get attention. He spent his whole career making ice cream

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flavors that sound like they should come with political bumper stickers.

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This is the same guy who got arrested in twenty

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eighteen for protesting F thirty.

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Five fighter jets.

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Apparently, when you've made millions selling frozen dairy products, you

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feel obligated to have opinions about military aviation. He also

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created a Kamala's Coconut Dream flavor during the election, because

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nothing says democracy like themed desserts. Cohen called Israel's actions

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in Gaza genocide with our bombs and said Americans have

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become complicit through military aid, which is quite the statement

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from someone whose biggest geopolitical crisis used to be whether

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to add more chocolate.

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Chips to cookie dough.

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He pointed to the destruction of hospitals, universities, and schools

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as evidence, while acknowledging that hostages should be returned, but

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rejecting that as justification for the military campaign. And here

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I thought the most controversial thing about Ben and Jerry's

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was when they discontinued that flavor with the fish shaped chunks.

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The hearing was supposed to be about Health and Human

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Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Junior, but Cohen made it

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clear his protest had nothing to do with Bobby Kennedy. No,

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this was about defense spending versus health care spending, because

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when you're the ice cream guy, you apparently get to

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decide what congressional hearing should really be about. A Kansas

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City barbecue joint with eighty seven years of history is

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closing at the end of May, and it's all because

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of well, let's call it the Circle of Demolition. Danny

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Edwards Boulevard. BBQ on Southwest Boulevard is shutting down after

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being displaced more times than a witness in a mob trial.

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The restaurant saga reads like a Kansas City version of

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The Little Engine that Could, except instead of I think

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I can, it's more I think they're going to tear

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this down for a parking lot again. The current owners,

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Joel and Susan Bremer, say they might cook from home

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or get a food truck, which honestly sounds like they're

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contemplating becoming BBQ nomads wandering the streets with a smoker

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attached to their car. Joel Bremmer bought the place from

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Danny Edwards in twenty eighteen, and Danny passed away about

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four years later. Now, Danny's widow, Priscilla Edwards owns the

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building and reportedly wants to sell it to the marijuana

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dispensary next door. So we're potentially losing a barbecue institution.

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So from the Earth can expand their earth. I suppose

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here's the kicker. This restaurant has been displaced twice already.

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Big Jake Edwards started the whole thing downtown in nineteen

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thirty eight, then his son Danny took over, moved it

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because the city wanted a parking garage, moved it again

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because developers wanted the spot for power and Light District parking,

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and now it might get demolished again for more parking.

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Joel Bremmer summed it up perfectly.

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It would be ironic if they wanted to bulldoze this

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place for a parking lot, given our history. Ironic, Sir,

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at this point that it's not ironic. It's a tradition.

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This restaurant has been chased around Kansas City by parking

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lots like Tom chasing Jerry. The place was famous for

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the Big Deed, a brisket sandwich on rye with Swiss

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cheese and onion rings. Guy Fiery even featured them on Diners,

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Drive Ins and Dives back in twenty thirteen. But apparently

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all the Food Network fame in the world can't protect

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you from Kansas City's insatiable appetite for parking spaces. Harvard

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Law School just discovered they've been sitting on one of

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the most valuable documents in history, and they bought it

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for twenty seven dollars and fifty cents back in nineteen

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forty six. That's like finding out your garage sale paperweight

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is actually the Pope Diamond. Two professors were scrolling through

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Harvard's digital archives, probably procrastinating on grading papers, when they

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spotted this copy of the Magna Carta.

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Except it turns out this wasn't a coffee at all.

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This was the real deal from thirteen hundred, signed sealed

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and delivered by King Edward the First himself. Professor David

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Carpenter from King's College says he was absolutely astonished that

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nobody knew what they had, which is academic speak for

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I can't believe you people are this clueless. Harvard had

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been treating one of the foundational documents of Western democracy

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like a coffee stained thesis in their library basement. The

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document was described in the original auction as somewhat rubbed

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in damp stained, which is nineteen forty speak for looks

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like garbage, probably worthless. A London bookseller bought it for

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forty two pounds, then flipped it to Harvard for the

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equivalent of about four.

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Hundred and fifty dollars today.

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That's the kind of markup that would make a used

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car salesman weep with pride.

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Now here's where it gets really good.

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Two thousand and seven, another Magna Carta sold for twenty

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one million dollars, So Harvard essentially bought a winning lottery

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ticket and used it as a bookmark for seventy eight years.

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The university librarians must be feeling pretty smart right about now.

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Oh that old thing, Yeah, we knew it was special.

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We just wanted to let it marinate. The professors had

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to use ultraviolet light and spectral imaging to authenticate it

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because the document is so faded. Apparently eight hundred years

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of storage will do that to parchment.

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Who knew.

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They checked the handwriting, the dimensions, even the exact wording,

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because medieval scribes were apparently more consistent than modern politicians

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with their campaign promises.

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The best part, Harvard didn't even know they had it.

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They've been giving campus tours for decades showing off their

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law library, completely unaware they had constitutional histories equivalent of

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a mint condition Mickey Mantle rookie car just sitting there

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in a protective frame. Professor Vinson says, if you asked

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anyone to name the most famous document in world history,

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they'd probably say Magna cartathough to be fair, a lot

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of college students would probably guess the Constitution and then

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panic when you ask which one. So congratulations to Harvard

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for accidentally being brilliant, and congratulations to those twenty seven

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dollars and fifty cents for being the best investment in

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academic history, beating out even that kid who bought pitcoin

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with his lunch money. Portions of today's program were made

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with the help of a big d chunky monkey, whatever

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dirty thoughts are in your mind right now, and good

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old fashioned American AI