May 27, 2025

We Already Broke the Planet—Now Who Wants Obama’s Beach House?

Show Notes
Transcript

Scientists say it’s already too late to stop the polar ice caps from melting. But sure, go ahead and drop $39 million on Obama’s Martha’s Vineyard estate—it comes with ocean views, emphasis on ocean. Plus, archaeologists in Naples open a sealed 2,000-year-old tomb, because clearly no one has ever seen a mummy movie. The climate is doomed, real estate is absurd, and history wants a word. Hosted by Patrick Gutfield.

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Calorocus Shark media from Washington, d C. Where we're going

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to be two hundred feet underwater.

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This is ballot, that's right, and I was just about

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to buy the Obama's beach house.

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Oops, let's hit this well.

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Scientists have some fun news about our planet's ice sheets,

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and by fun, I mean terrifying. A new study says

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Earth might already be too hot to keep our polar

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ice from melting. Apparently, even if we hit that famous

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one point five degrees celsius target everyone's been talking about,

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the ice sheets are still going to peace out faster

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than a millennial at a job they don't like. Ten

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years ago, world leaders got together and said one point

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five degrees of warming, that's our limit.

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Problem solved.

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Turns out that was about as accurate as saying I'll

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just have one cookie. Professor Chris Stokes from Durham University

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basically said there was a misunderstanding that one point five

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degrees would solve our problem. The real safe number about

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one degree celsius. And where are we now? One point

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two degrees, so we've already blown past the actual safety zone.

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It's like finding out the speed limit was actually ten

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miles per hour. Lower than the sign said. But you've

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already been caught on camera. These ice sheets in Greenland

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and Antarctica.

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They're not messing around together.

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They hold enough ice to raise sea levels by two

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hundred and ten feet.

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Two hundred and ten feet.

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That's not sea level rise, that sea level elevator service

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to the twentieth floor. They're currently losing three hundred and

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seventy billion metric tons of ice every year billion with

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a B.

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That's quadruple what it was in the nineteen nineties.

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Remember the nineties when our biggest concern was y two

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K and whether Ross and Rachel would end up together.

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To figure out how bad this could get, Scientists looked

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back at the last time Earth was this warm, about

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one hundred and twenty five thousand years ago. Back then,

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Neanderthals were having pool parties in northern Europe, mammoths were

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taking vacations to the Arctic, and sea levels were twenty

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five feet higher than today. They found ancient coral reefs

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twenty five feet above where the ocean is now. That's

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not a coral reef, that's a coral penthouse. The computer

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models are showing some pretty grim stuff. Professor Andrea Dutton

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from the University of Wisconsin said, we can't just adapt

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into this type of sea level rise. We can't just

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engineer our way out of this. Oh great, So my

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plan of everyone getting stilts isn't gonna work. About two

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hundred and thirty million people currently live within three feet

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of sea level. That's a lot of people who might

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need to update their addresses to Atlantis formerly known as Miami.

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The Pacific islands like Micronesia and some Caribbean islands are

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going to get hit especially hard because of gravitational effects.

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Gravitational effects even he is picking sides now. Professor Stokes

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called it an existential threat and said some entire states

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will be underwater in a few centuries. Entire states. We're

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not talking about losing a beach house here. We're talking

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about state capitals becoming submarine tours. So maybe you don't

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want to spend nearly forty million on Obama's beach house.

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Barack Obama's former summer vacation spot on Martha's Vineyard is

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up for sale, and it'll only cost you thirty nine

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million dollars. That's right, for the price of roughly twelve thousand,

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seven hundred eight Ivy League College educations. You two can

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own the place where a president once complained about his

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WiFi connection. The thirty acre property known as Blue Hair

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and Farm is currently owned by Sir Norman Foster, a

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British architect famous for designing London landmarks like the Girkin

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high Rise in Wembley Stadium. When Foster bought the place

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in twenty eleven for twenty two million dollars, he apparently thought,

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this nice new England estate is missing something.

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I know, a.

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Contemporary pool house, because nothing says colonial charm like ultra

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modern pool side architecture. The Obamas state at this chill

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Mark property during Barack's first term, choosing it for what

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real estate brokerage Corcoran called its incredible privacy, serenity and significance. Translation,

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it's far enough away from everyone else that you can

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practice your dance moves without ending up on TikTok. To

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put the price tag in perspective, the median home price

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on Martha's Vineyard in March was one point seven million

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dollars in chill Mark. Specifically, it was two point three million,

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so this property is basically seventeen average chill Mark homes

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stacked on top of each other in a trench coat.

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The main house spans seven thousand square feet and features

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a wrap around porch perfect for sipping lemonade while contemplating

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how you afforded a thirty nine million dollar vacation home.

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There's also a guest house with five bedroom rooms for

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all those friends who suddenly remember how close you were

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back in college once you buy this place. Other amenities

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include staff housing, because who doesn't have staff, A one

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hundred and fifty year old barn that was relocated from Pennsylvania.

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As barnes often are, a waterfront boat house, a tennis court,

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and equestrian riding rings. It's basically a luxury summer camp

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for adults who wear boat shoes. Unironically, Martha's Vineyard has

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long been a celebrity hotspot. Spike Lee has a house

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in Oak Bluffs, and Bill Clinton also summered on the island.

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It's located sixteen miles off Cape Cod, which is just

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far enough that the common folk can't swim there. Archaeologists

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in Naples just opened a two thousand year old sarcophagus,

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which is it's either the start of a fascinating scientific

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discovery or the opening scene of every Mummy movie ever made.

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Let's hope they at least watched The Mummy as part

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of their research preparation. The team led by Simona Formola

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was investigating the tomb of Cerberus in Giuliano, which is

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in northwest Naples. Apparently they liked what they saw enough

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to break the seal that had remained intact for two millennia.

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That's right, they looked at something that had been sealed

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for the two thousand years and thought, yeah, let's crack

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this baby open. Once inside, they were shocked to find

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a body in an excellent state of preservation. I'm not

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sure what else they expected to find in a sarcophagus

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Pizza Jimmy poffa the Lost City of Atlantis. The deceased

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was found lying face up, covered by a shroud, surrounded

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by ointment jars and body cleaning tools. Essentially, it was

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the ancient Roman equivalent of being buried with your toiletry

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bag treatment and fancy burial goods suggests this person was

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the Vip family member for whom the mausoleum was originally built.

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You know you're important when your family builds an entire

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tomb just for you today, We're lucky if our relatives

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remember our birthdays. It turns out the mummy coincidentally had

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been college roommates with Joe Biden. Portions of today's show

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were made with the help of mummies more mummies in

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Ai