May 23, 2025
Trump’s Salad Meltdown, a $258 Billion Surprise, and a Plane With No Pilot?!
Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week’s wildest headlines—from Trump allegedly firing a chef over Caesar salad to the U.S. government accidentally running a massive budget surplus. Plus: a Lufthansa flight flies without a pilot for ten minutes (nope, not autopilot), and the national debt becomes a cosmic concept. It’s a bumpy ride, so buckle up—and maybe keep your own salad opinions to yourself.
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Caalaroga shark media.
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From Washington, d C. Where to be a true caesar,
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you need to make a salad. This is ballot.
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It turns out Donald Trump might have fired a chef
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over a caesar salad.
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Let's hit this. Hi.
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I'm Patrick Gutfield, and I'm wondering, So why did Trump
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supposedly fire the chef?
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Not because the salad was.
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Bad, apparently everyone liked it, but because it wasn't prepared
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the Trump way. I guess when you're the president, let
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us becomes a matter of national security. According to the
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book Mara a Lago inside the Gates of Power at
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Donald Trump's presidential palace, Trump confronted this chef in a
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hostile manner and then proceeded to make his own caesar
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salad to demonstrate the proper technique. It's the culinary equivalent
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of saying you're fired while aggressively tossing romayne. The chef
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was reportedly axed the next day and eventually went on
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to work for Celine Dion. Talk about a career upgrade,
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going from making salads for Trump to cooking for someone
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whose heart will go on. I bet Selene never throws
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a fit about how the anchovies are arranged. What's particularly
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baffling about this whole saga is that the salad was
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actually well received by guests, So this wasn't even about quality.
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It was just about Trump wanting things done his way.
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Andre Rush, a former White House chef, said that when
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it comes to Trump's meals, you have to be political
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on that. Imagine needing a political strategy just to serve
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someone lunch.
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Now, what could possibly.
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Be so offensive about a Caesar salad is that the anchovies,
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the raw egg, the fact that it's named after.
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A dictator who wasn't him.
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The answer might lie in Trump's well documented eating habits.
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This is a man who reportedly considers vegetables garbage and
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has commanded that none a company his well done steak
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with ketchup, because nothing says sophisticated palette like burning a
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perfectly good piece of meat and then covering it in
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tomato sugar. Trump's love affair with McDonald's is legendary. He
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reportedly enjoyed their menu items multiple times a day during
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his first presidential campaign. Big Max balletofish of sandwiches, egg mcmuffins,
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basically everything on the menu except the salads. You know,
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those garbage vegetable things. Some say Trump's fast food fixation
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stems from fears of being poisoned, believing that the mass
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produced nature of places like McDonald's somehow protects him. Others
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think it's a calculated move to seem relatable to everyday Americans.
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See I eat the same processed pattis you do. I'm
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just like you, except for the gold toilet and private jet.
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So what's the moral of the story. If you ever
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find yourself cooking for Donald Trump, remember vegetables are suspicious.
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Well done is the only done, and whatever you do,
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don't get creative with the caesar salad unless you want
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to end up working for a Grammy winning Canadian superstar instead.
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Well well, well, looks like the US Treasury just found
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two hundred and fifty eight billion dollars in its couch cushions.
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That's right, April brought us the second largest monthly budget
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surplus in American history. It's like when you check your
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coat pocket and find a twenty dollars bill, except in
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this case, the coat is the entire federal government. The
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Treasury collected eight hundred and fifty point two billion dollars
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while spending five hundred and ninety one point eight billion.
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That's a surplus of two hundred and fifty eight point
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four billion dollars. It's the fiscal equivalent of your dad
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turning down the thermostat and yelling we're not made of money,
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and then finding out that, actually, yes, we kind of are.
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So is President Trump's plan working well? Before we start
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planning the mission accomplished banner, let's look at where this
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money came from. Turns out April is when people pay
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their taxes.
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Who knew?
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Individual income taxes brought in five hundred and thirty seven
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billion dollars, Social Security and retirement receipts added one hundred
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and eighty four billion, while corporate taxes contributed ninety four billion.
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Customs duties, which reflect Trump's beloved tariffs, generated fifteen point
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six billion dollars. That's more than double what they collected
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last April, but still just a drop in the bucket
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compared to what Americans fork over and income tax So
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Trump's tariffs aren't exactly funding the government. Your paycheck is
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on the spending side. Uncle Sam still had plenty of
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bills to pay. Social Security cost one hundred and thirty
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two billion dollars while we spend eighty nine billion on
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interest payments alone. That's right, just the interest on our
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debt cost almost as much as the eighty two billion
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we spent on Medicare or the seventy billion for national defense.
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It's like making the minimum payment on your credit card,
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except the credit card.
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Is the size of Mount Rushmore.
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Despite this one great month, the overall fiscal year still
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looks like my bank account after Black Friday. Since October,
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the government has spent four points one five nine trillion
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dollars while only bringing in three point one to one trillion.
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That's a deficit of one point zero four nine trillion dollars.
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So we're still spending money like a teenager with their
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parents' credit card and our national debt it's now thirty
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six point two one two trillion dollars. That's not just
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a number anymore. It's a philosophical concept. It's so large
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that if you counted one dollar per second, it would
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take you one million, one hundred forty eight thousand years
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to count it all. You'd start counting during the Lower
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Paleolithic era and finish sometime after we've all evolved into
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beings of pure energy. The takeaway. To run a surplus,
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you need to earn more than you spend. For individuals,
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that's achievable. Advice for the government, It's like telling god
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Zilla to tiptoe through Tokyo. But hey, for one glorious month,
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we actually did it. Let's enjoy this moment before we
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go back to our regularly scheduled financial apocalypse. Well, here's
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a story that'll make you grip your armress a little
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tighter on your next flight. A loftons of plane with
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two hundred passengers flew without a pilot for ten minutes.
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I'm not talking about autopilot. I'm talking about no conscious
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human being at the controls whatsoever. The incident happened last February,
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but Spanish investigators are just now releasing the details, probably
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because they needed time to change.
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Their underwear after writing the report. Here's what went down.
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The captain of this Frankfort to Seville flight decided to
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take a bathroom break when they were about thirty minutes
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from landing.
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Now we've all been there.
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Nature calls and sometimes it doesn't send a text first.
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But while the captain was away, his thirty eight year
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old first officer lost.
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Consciousness just completely checked out.
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When the captain tried to return to the cockpit eight
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minutes later, he couldn't get in despite entering this security
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code five times. That's like forgetting your phone password, except
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instead of being locked out of Instagram, you're locked.
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Out of piloting an aircraft.
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A flight attendant tried using the intercom to contact the
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first officer but got no response. Meanwhile, inside the cockpit,
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the copilot was having what investigators described as a sudden
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and severe incapacitation due to a neurological disorder that apparently
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causes seizures. Not exactly the kind of medical information you
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want to discover at thirty five thousand feet. Eventually, the
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first officer regained consciousness and opened the door, looking pale, sweating,
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and moving strangely, which coincidentally is exactly how I look
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after watching airline safety videos.
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The captain diverted the flight to.
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Madrid so the copilot could get immediate medical attention, and
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all two hundred passengers probably needed immediate access to the
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bathroom themselves after learning what had happened. Portions of today's
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show were made with the help of AI. In other words,
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nobody's flying this playing either
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