Episodes

Jerry & Kristy discuss the growing trend of angry politics ripping couples apart and testing their relationships as the media around them continue to provoke people to ever-rising levels of division. Alternatives are considered.

Jerry & Kristy ponder the ONE THING we'd love you to MOST GET in the realm of couples' therapy. And -- in preparation for a few weeks off at the end of August -- we have two excellent fake fights and demonstrate how things could be handled differently.

Let us know what you'd like to hear us cover, as topics, in our 2nd season, which begins in September.

In our follow-up episode Kristy and Jerry consider what we often here from women in sessions regarding being in a couple/marriage/parenting arrangement. We conclude with a seemingly spontaneous -- and annoying -- fight, showing how alternative ways of expressing/reacting get you better results.

What do (some) men sound like in therapy, to a couples' therapist? What are their initial presenting complaints? Can generalizations safely be made, after hearing the same themes repeated over and over again? Jerry & Kristy compare notes, and try to draw some positive momentum from it.

We also offer a sample couples' relationship fight, with it reworked using skills instead of verbal hand-grenades.

Ahhhh...the gentle (or powerful) allure of Other People. They're just....perfect. Aren't they? Wouldn't life be perfect with them? Jerry and Kristy consider the challenges, and illusions, the flashing attraction to others might bring.

Jerry & Kristy tackle the thorny topic of the intersection of sexual behaviors in relationships as they may reflect basic patterns of codependency. The importance of self-esteem, boundaries and other basics often get lost in the mix when another person's varied needs come into play. Strategies for achieving a sexual reset that offers mutual satisfaction in the actual world are considered.

Articles discussed in the podcast included: "I Tried Having An Orgasm A Day for a Month -- And It Totally C...

Kristy and Jerry look at 3 of the typical reactions to conflicts within relationships and wrestle with understanding the limitations of all of them. Can there be a different way? What does that look like and sound like?

Kristy & Jerry look at some ways that our failures to self-soothe and regulate our emotions impact relationships negatively. We illustrate with some tried-and-true roads to failure and then correct them, illustrating how differently it can be handled.

Is viewing porn good for your relationship? Your sex-lives together? How do couples actually integrate it into their relational lives? Or do they not do that at all?

Is there a serious downside to viewing porn? Or are the effects fairly benign?

Are there certain realms, even in relationships, that are, or should be, for just you?

Can any of this enhance your connection to your loved one? What are the pitfalls?

Jerry and Kristy consider the effect of porn on relationships.

Kristy & Jerry take on the wonderfully volatile, rewarding and challenging topic of sex within relationships. What does sex, in relationships, bring up for us? How do we reconcile our own desires, or lack of desire, for, and with, our partner? And just exactly how good could it be? What would happen if we talked about these things outloud?

Join Jerry and Kristy for the vivid experience of our first fight, with a great deal of perspective, laughter and alternative ways of handling things within a relationship identified.

Kristy & Jerry explore the idea of boundaries within relationships and the challenges that are brought to them by the ever-widening presence of technology in our lives. How much privacy should 1/2 of a couple be entitled to? Do you give up all privacy when you are married, or in a committed relationship? Should you?

And how do boundaries interact with intimacy? Does it have to be one or the other?

And what is the difference between relationship-breaking behaviors and those that invite repair w...

Jerry and Kristy consider the enormous challenges and complexities of one of the least-intuitive constructs humans have invented: The Blended Family. Step-parents, natural parents, step-children and children from the first (or second) marriage all seem to feel the challenges, in different ways, as it looks all-too-often impossible to successfully make this work. What can actually be done to improve our chances?

What, exactly, constitutes an emotional affair? And is it really cheating? As long as you're not technically having sex isn't it kind of o.k.?

And -- once discovered or divulged -- does it always have to signal the end of a marriage?

In our 10th episode, Jerry and Kristy will consider....

Jerry & Kristy talk about the weekend Relationship Boot Camps we run and ask the question: Why should you pay attention to THIS workshop? What's in it for you? And...your relationship?

Visit https://loveworkrelationships.com/ for more information re: how to register

Jerry & Kristy take a deep dive into one of the most notable of losing strategies that couples regularly deploy: Being Right. Where does this come from? Why do we keep doing it when it fails over and over to get us what we really want? And -- most importantly -- how else could we handle these moments?

Kristy talks about her divorce, looking back at some key elements of the past that were believed to be true at the time, but needed to change. The influence of family-of-origin, inherited beliefs about how a woman is supposed to be in a marriage, habit and fears are considered. The disequilibrium of the first year of divorce is explored, along with a path towards healing identified and discussed. The joy of a new relationship -- and new marriage -- is considered, along with how divorce changed h...

Jerry talks about his divorce, looking back at some key elements of the past that were believed to be true at the time, but needed to change. The influence of family-of-origin, inherited beliefs about how a man is supposed to be in a marriage, habit and fears are considered. The disequilibrium of the first year of divorce is explored, along with a path towards healing identified and discussed. The joy of a new relationship -- and new marriage -- is considered, along with how divorce changed him.

Kristy & Jerry discuss those pivotal, painful questions that come when you look, with clarity, at what you've got going on your relationship, right now, today. Are there any signs it is getting better? Do I still even want it to? Do we have too many years of bad habits, neglect and poor communication? Would we be better off calling it quits and starting off with new people?

Or do we just need to work harder? And how, exactly, do we begin to do that?

See our website for more: https://loveworkre...

Jerry and Kristy discuss the dance(s) couples do with little awareness, almost on auto-pilot, leading to general dissatisfaction for both. Alternatives are considered.

Kristy & Jerry discuss the art of acting-in-relationships, and the toll this takes. Careful distinction is made between resisting the temptation to overshare and vent (in boundaryless fashion) and the absolute fakery that gets couples in big trouble.

Kristy and Jerry dissect a few of the relationship myths we grew up believing and consider some healthier alternatives.

For more info re: the Boot Camps we offer, and our services in general, please visit us at: https://loveworkrelationships.com/

Kristy and Jerry discuss a few of the most traditional destined-to-fail strategies couples often employ and suggest some different approaches.

In which the two of us consider the beautiful beginning phase of relationships and the rose-colored glasses that usually accompany it. Do you remember walking with your feet several inches off the ground? Or were your early days as a couple much more fraught, and cautious, than that? But still....the deliciousness that all-too-often gets buried beneath things that creep in later with couples...consider them again.