Episodes

Feb. 23, 2024

What If Your Partner Doesn't Want To Do "The Work"?

It's more rare than we would like that both partners in a couple approach "the work" of behavioral change with the same intensity, at the same rate, and in the same way. What happens if one person is much more enthusiastic a...

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Feb. 2, 2024

I Am DONE!!!

Memorable, highly-charged words and phrases are frequently heard in couples' therapists' offices. What they mean -- how they are understood between people who claim to love each other -- is often highly debatable and unclear....

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Jan. 23, 2024

The Selfishness of Addiction

An addict's path to recovery necessarily involves making amends and becoming more relational to the people around you whom you've wounded. But often people get caught at the "dry-drunk" phase, don't do the relational work (de...

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Jan. 9, 2024

The Challenge of Blended Families

It's not always The Brady Bunch. In fact, it almost never is. Kristy and Jerry explore some of the dynamics at work for members of blended families and try to "right-size" expectations to maximize opportunities for natural co...

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Dec. 3, 2023

The Holidays

Ahhhh...The Holidays. They are already here, and we are already scrambling to try to extract the maximum amount of family happiness and connection from situations that can also offer confusion, old, unresolved situations, thi...

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Nov. 18, 2023

Gratitude

Jerry and Kristy express their gratitude for the people, places and things in their lives, with a particular focus on their respective relationships. Being able to extract, and express, gratitude for that hard things that are...

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Nov. 7, 2023

Trauma & Your Relationship

Whether it is childhood trauma(s), the effects of societal prejudices, discrimination and stigmatizing or more recent adult losses of a traumatic nature, the ripple effects of trauma is shared with our partner in relationship...

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Oct. 21, 2023

Am I Crazy?

Do you ever feel strongly at emotional odds with most things around you? And then whether or not you are off-your-rocker and possibly The Problem because of being crazy? Just....different from others, in a major way? You aren...

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Sept. 29, 2023

Religious Upbringings

Our religious upbringings -- or non-religious upbringings -- can have implications and repercussions for our later intimate relationships, the likes of which we likely hadn't considered. Jerry & Kristy discuss.

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Sept. 16, 2023

Rewriting (Relationship) History

Kristy & Jerry consider what happens when we, for one reason or another, remember only certain aspects of our most important relationships. We deny, or ignore, important things at a cost; recovery of all the layers of a relat...

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Sept. 6, 2023

Birthdays & Anniversaries

What's it like for you to be in a couple and to celebrate these special occasions? Or...not? What happens, for the couple, when these days roll around and either are celebrated, ignored or recognized in a less-than-satisfying...

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Aug. 7, 2023

The Fine Line Between Letting Things Go & Enabling

Kristy and Jerry untangle the thorny areas in which personal boundaries seem to be challenged by our partner's desire to control us, when -- in fact -- it is often about emotional needs we can all relate to it. The seed for s...

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July 25, 2023

Having a Baby

Adding an additional person to your household offers unique challenges and rewards for a couple, but undeniably is one of the most profound relationship shifts you'll undergo in your lives together. Kristy and Jerry ponder so...

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July 10, 2023

Just How Much Intimacy Do I Really Want?

Jerry and Kristy wrestle with the reality that every couple has different levels of desire when it comes to ongoing closeness and intimacy. Like so many other markers of social and emotional health, intimacy might be best vie...

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June 26, 2023

Blinded By My Hurt

We all know THOSE kind of arguments; when one of us just will not give in, because giving in means giving up and conceding defeat in what feels like a life-and-death battle. But when we consider it at a safe distance, well......

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June 11, 2023

Being Happy When Your Partner Isn't

Kristy and Jerry consider the awkward dynamics that can ensue when partners aren't aligned in their levels of happiness or sadness on any given day, week or month. What, exactly, is your level of "responsibility" and what isn...

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May 29, 2023

Getting Your Self-Esteem From Social Media

Jerry & Kristy consider what happens when the primary source of our self-esteem comes from our social media applications. What are the implications for our relationships?

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May 16, 2023

Cancelling Toxic Relationships (And Aren't We All A Little Toxic?)

Kristy and Jerry consider the phenomena of "cancellation" as a reactive move; when is it exactly the right thing, and when is it exactly the wrong thing? How does fast-easy cancellation, "ghosting," etc. work against our deve...

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May 1, 2023

All (S)He Wants Is Sex

A frequently heard complaint in couples' sessions is deconstructed and discussed. Are there any bad people here, or are two people seeking to be seen and valued in different ways when there is an obvious disconnect re: sexual...

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April 17, 2023

Does Your Attachment Style Sabotage You?

Kristy and Jerry discuss lasting styles of attachment and the difficulties these can pose for our partners. (And ourselves!) And...it somehow all makes sense. Can this be worked on with health in a relationship and result in ...

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April 1, 2023

Home Is Where We Fall Apart

The intimate connections offered by our home life can go either way: towards snippy, isolated/isolating, defensive interactions or towards ever-greater connectedness and satisfactions. Jerry and Kristy consider this, in actio...

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March 19, 2023

Do Words Even Matter?

Jerry & Kristy consider the dual nature of words, as they are used in relationships. On the one hand they matter very much -- as they can be source of great pain or comfort. On the other hand some of the most profound moments...

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March 6, 2023

Catastrophizing

The fine (self-defeating) art of making small disappointments, disagreements and conflicts into major demonstrations of disastrous proportions is discussed by Kristy and Jerry. Alternatives are considered. We also -- finally ...

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Feb. 19, 2023

Body Image & Your Relationship

Jerry and Kristy explore the shaping of our self-esteem -- and the impact on later relationships -- that occurs related to our own body image issues. The impact of early family influences, societal messaging, the internet and...

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