What role does our ego play in helping, or hindering, connection with our partner? Kristy & Jerry unpack some of this together. Jerry reports some about his travel to Southern India and how long it took him to finally unpack ...
It's more rare than we would like that both partners in a couple approach "the work" of behavioral change with the same intensity, at the same rate, and in the same way. What happens if one person is much more enthusiastic a...
Memorable, highly-charged words and phrases are frequently heard in couples' therapists' offices. What they mean -- how they are understood between people who claim to love each other -- is often highly debatable and unclear....
An addict's path to recovery necessarily involves making amends and becoming more relational to the people around you whom you've wounded. But often people get caught at the "dry-drunk" phase, don't do the relational work (de...
It's not always The Brady Bunch. In fact, it almost never is. Kristy and Jerry explore some of the dynamics at work for members of blended families and try to "right-size" expectations to maximize opportunities for natural co...
Ahhhh...The Holidays. They are already here, and we are already scrambling to try to extract the maximum amount of family happiness and connection from situations that can also offer confusion, old, unresolved situations, thi...
Jerry and Kristy express their gratitude for the people, places and things in their lives, with a particular focus on their respective relationships. Being able to extract, and express, gratitude for that hard things that are...
Whether it is childhood trauma(s), the effects of societal prejudices, discrimination and stigmatizing or more recent adult losses of a traumatic nature, the ripple effects of trauma is shared with our partner in relationship...
Do you ever feel strongly at emotional odds with most things around you? And then whether or not you are off-your-rocker and possibly The Problem because of being crazy? Just....different from others, in a major way? You aren...
Our religious upbringings -- or non-religious upbringings -- can have implications and repercussions for our later intimate relationships, the likes of which we likely hadn't considered. Jerry & Kristy discuss.
Kristy & Jerry consider what happens when we, for one reason or another, remember only certain aspects of our most important relationships. We deny, or ignore, important things at a cost; recovery of all the layers of a relat...
What's it like for you to be in a couple and to celebrate these special occasions? Or...not? What happens, for the couple, when these days roll around and either are celebrated, ignored or recognized in a less-than-satisfying...
Kristy and Jerry untangle the thorny areas in which personal boundaries seem to be challenged by our partner's desire to control us, when -- in fact -- it is often about emotional needs we can all relate to it. The seed for s...
Adding an additional person to your household offers unique challenges and rewards for a couple, but undeniably is one of the most profound relationship shifts you'll undergo in your lives together. Kristy and Jerry ponder so...
Jerry and Kristy wrestle with the reality that every couple has different levels of desire when it comes to ongoing closeness and intimacy. Like so many other markers of social and emotional health, intimacy might be best vie...
We all know THOSE kind of arguments; when one of us just will not give in, because giving in means giving up and conceding defeat in what feels like a life-and-death battle. But when we consider it at a safe distance, well......
Kristy and Jerry consider the awkward dynamics that can ensue when partners aren't aligned in their levels of happiness or sadness on any given day, week or month. What, exactly, is your level of "responsibility" and what isn...
Jerry & Kristy consider what happens when the primary source of our self-esteem comes from our social media applications. What are the implications for our relationships?
Kristy and Jerry consider the phenomena of "cancellation" as a reactive move; when is it exactly the right thing, and when is it exactly the wrong thing? How does fast-easy cancellation, "ghosting," etc. work against our deve...
A frequently heard complaint in couples' sessions is deconstructed and discussed. Are there any bad people here, or are two people seeking to be seen and valued in different ways when there is an obvious disconnect re: sexual...
Kristy and Jerry discuss lasting styles of attachment and the difficulties these can pose for our partners. (And ourselves!) And...it somehow all makes sense. Can this be worked on with health in a relationship and result in ...
The intimate connections offered by our home life can go either way: towards snippy, isolated/isolating, defensive interactions or towards ever-greater connectedness and satisfactions. Jerry and Kristy consider this, in actio...
Jerry & Kristy consider the dual nature of words, as they are used in relationships. On the one hand they matter very much -- as they can be source of great pain or comfort. On the other hand some of the most profound moments...
The fine (self-defeating) art of making small disappointments, disagreements and conflicts into major demonstrations of disastrous proportions is discussed by Kristy and Jerry. Alternatives are considered. We also -- finally ...