Episodes
Catastrophizing
The fine (self-defeating) art of making small disappointments, disagreements and conflicts into major demonstrations of disastrous proportions is discussed by Kristy and Jerry. Alternatives are considered. We also -- finally ...
Body Image & Your Relationship
Jerry and Kristy explore the shaping of our self-esteem -- and the impact on later relationships -- that occurs related to our own body image issues. The impact of early family influences, societal messaging, the internet and...
Relationship Reckoning
How can you go about figuring if a relationship is really over? Whether you'd be happier without it? Kristy and Jerry discuss the intricacies of deciding when separating and ending a relationship is the right thing to do. Alt...
When Your Partner Leaves
Jerry and Kristy consider all the variations in "leaving" and the repercussions for the relationship. Healthy alternatives for taking space are considered. As usual, we have a fight at the end and show a better way of doing t...
Faith Transitions
Kristy and Jerry discuss the challenges and opportunities that exist when one member of a couple goes through changes about their religious beliefs (and practices). Does it always have to be a deal-breaker of epic proportion...
Self Esteem: A Deep Dive
Kristy and Jerry take a deeper look at how self-esteem (yours!) remains at the core of a relationship's chances for success. The futility of trying to change your partner while not feeling good enough about yourself (or even ...
Is Your Partner a Narcissist?
Is your partner a narcissist? And what are the implications if the answer is "Yes"? Is this term over-used, or under-recognized? What possibilities realistically exist for someone who is in a relationship with a narcissist? J...
Biting The Bullet
You know the feeling; that moment when your spouse asks you to do something that you absolutely, honestly DON'T want to do. But they enjoy it. What do you do? Radical honesty in the direction of "taking care of myself"? Or......
After The Affair
What happens, for a couple, after one partner has had an affair and it is now out in the open? What are the best things you can do (and the worst ones)? How long is the healing process? Is it really true that going through th...
Breadwinning
Talking about money -- and how it affects your relationship -- is one of the hardest things for a couple to do. Without even knowing that we are responding to our family of origin's stories and values we often develop resentm...
When I Need You The Most, You Disappear
Kristy and Jerry explore some of the most challenging types of disconnected moments between couples. How comfortable are men with crying, or big expressions of emotion? Do men run and duck, looking for cover, abandoning spous...
Me Versus Us
We all want time to ourselves. But what about when that seems to conflict directly with connecting relationally to the significant others around us? What then??? Are there ways of maintaining healthy connections while giving ...
When Politics Rips Couples Apart
Jerry & Kristy discuss the growing trend of angry politics ripping couples apart and testing their relationships as the media around them continue to provoke people to ever-rising levels of division. Alternatives are consider...
The One Thing...
Jerry & Kristy ponder the ONE THING we'd love you to MOST GET in the realm of couples' therapy. And -- in preparation for a few weeks off at the end of August -- we have two excellent fake fights and demonstrate how things co...
What (Some) Women Say in Therapy
In our follow-up episode Kristy and Jerry consider what we often here from women in sessions regarding being in a couple/marriage/parenting arrangement. We conclude with a seemingly spontaneous -- and annoying -- fight, showi...
What (Some) Men Say In Therapy
What do (some) men sound like in therapy, to a couples' therapist? What are their initial presenting complaints? Can generalizations safely be made, after hearing the same themes repeated over and over again? Jerry & Kristy c...
The Allure of Other People
Ahhhh...the gentle (or powerful) allure of Other People. They're just....perfect. Aren't they? Wouldn't life be perfect with them? Jerry and Kristy consider the challenges, and illusions, the flashing attraction to others mig...
Codependent Sex
Jerry & Kristy tackle the thorny topic of the intersection of sexual behaviors in relationships as they may reflect basic patterns of codependency. The importance of self-esteem, boundaries and other basics often get lost in ...
Fight, Fix, or Flee?
Kristy and Jerry look at 3 of the typical reactions to conflicts within relationships and wrestle with understanding the limitations of all of them. Can there be a different way? What does that look like and sound like?
Why Do I Keep Throwing Gasoline on the Fire?
Kristy & Jerry look at some ways that our failures to self-soothe and regulate our emotions impact relationships negatively. We illustrate with some tried-and-true roads to failure and then correct them, illustrating how diff...
Porn & Relationships
Is viewing porn good for your relationship? Your sex-lives together? How do couples actually integrate it into their relational lives? Or do they not do that at all? Is there a serious downside to viewing porn? Or are the eff...
Sex
Kristy & Jerry take on the wonderfully volatile, rewarding and challenging topic of sex within relationships. What does sex, in relationships, bring up for us? How do we reconcile our own desires, or lack of desire, for, and ...
What Is A Healthy Relationship Anyway?
Join Jerry and Kristy for the vivid experience of our first fight, with a great deal of perspective, laughter and alternative ways of handling things within a relationship identified.
I Just Happened To Look At His Phone And...
Kristy & Jerry explore the idea of boundaries within relationships and the challenges that are brought to them by the ever-widening presence of technology in our lives. How much privacy should 1/2 of a couple be entitled to? ...