16
July 20, 2026

Weaponized Sex

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Jerry (solo) considers some of the common complaints about sex-within-long-term-relationships, with a focus on the messaging that we've internalized along the way. The distinction between seeking mutual sexual pleasures and some people's understandings of the responsibility to merely fulfill obligations are considered. An upcoming day-long Zoom workshop, Rekindling Sexual Connection, on August 15th, is offered to help people beginning talking about what they most need and haven'
April 20, 2026

Breadwinning

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15
Dec. 31, 2025

The Wise Adult

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The Wise Adult is the gold standard for the capacity for intimacy. In our 80th episode -- and that last one before a 8 month hiatus from recording -- we consider the beauty and optimism this layer-of-personality brings, offering us relief from the seemingly-automatic responses our other layers routinely present.
14
Dec. 13, 2025

The Strength of the Adaptive Child

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Poised in between the slings and arrows of early childhood (i.e., the Wounded Child) and the emergence of the Wise Adult, the Adaptive Child becomes our friend and our go-to personality more often than not. Jerry and Kristy pay homage to it, while discussing the real-life repercussions of your Adaptive Child for your relationships.
13
Nov. 14, 2025

Bad Couples Therapy

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This was a topic that was requested of us to talk about, and which resonated with both Kristy and Jerry as a worthy one. When couples therapy goes wrong, or is unsatisfying to the couple that searched for help, why is this??? What type of connection, process and set of skills are necessary to have things click and move forward with good feeling for all involved? Kristy and Jerry consider this (along with a fake fight in which one person argues about the couples therapist favoring
12
Sept. 18, 2025

Are You Curious About Yourself?

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After having previously considered how curiousity functions in a relationship, Kristy and Jerry take a look at how it also influences us as individuals, over our lifespans.
11
Aug. 7, 2025

Are You Curious About Your Partner?

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After a summer hiatus, Jerry & Kristy are back, talking about the curiosities -- or lack of curiosities -- we have about our partners. How does this affect intimacy? Long-term relationship habits can work to erode spontaneity, a sense of discovery and wonder and all the good stuff that was there in the beginning. Can curiosity be restored??? YES, and at any point in the life span of your relationship.
10
April 19, 2025

Controlling Your Partner

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Jerry & Kristy consider the ebbs and flow of attempted control of the other person within a relationship. What does it get you? What's so wrong about it, anyway?

An epic fight about the way the other person loads the dishwasher is featured in the second half, as well as a better-way-forward illustrated.
9
March 28, 2025

When You're Both Avoidant

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So what happens when BOTH of you have patterns of avoiding conflict and want to keep the peace at all costs, even if it means staying with an unhappy status quo? Jerry & Kristy consider this (a listener-suggested topic) in light of the rewards that can come from decidedly "rocking the boat."
8
March 8, 2025

Seek First to Understand

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Identifying your feelings and then talking about them isn't enough. There is another person present in the relationship and reaching to understand THEM is the very challenge that we have to master in order for any progress to take hold. Kristy and Jerry consider how the search for understanding of "the other" usually presents itself -- either in its presence or its absence and show you how this often breaks out in fights. Alternatives are identified and practiced.