#56 The Courage to Be Seen
In this episode, Catherine and Roy ask what it means to be seen, and why it takes courage. Roy admits he never wanted to be seen. He ran big jobs in Ireland and was strong at negotiating and leading teams, but he was the one at the back of the class and the back of the meeting. He explains what changed when he wanted to get his message out and make the world a better place: nobody follows you if you are hiding at the back. He also talks about not letting attacks come in. Catherine describes growing up wanting to be expressive while being vulnerable to being mocked, and how she became very visible at school as a way to get through it. She says her visibility online, in her coaching business, comes down to the goal. If the goal is to enjoy life, be truthful and put out something helpful, the fear of being seen reduces. If the goal is to impress and win approval, that is where fear and exhaustion come in. They close by asking listeners what being seen means to them, what their goal is, and what matters most to them about it.
Timestamps
0:02 — Welcome & today’s question: what does it mean to be seen?
0:26 — Roy: the guy at the back, and why he chose to stand out
1:31 — Catherine: being mocked as a child, visibility online, and why the goal matters
5:00 — Sign-off
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[Speaker 1] (0:02 - 0:23)
Welcome to Diff'rent Points, episode 56 with my co-host, Roy Colan and myself, Catherine Llewellyn. So today's topic is the courage to be seen. And when I saw that, I thought, I don't want to be seen.
Why do I have to be seen? So the question is, what does it mean to be seen, Roy?
[Speaker 2] (0:26 - 1:31)
I suppose when I hear that, it's, did I want to be seen before? Not really. Like I was running big jobs in Ireland, very good at negotiating, very good at working with teams, getting everything done.
But kind of being seen in the meetings, that was something I didn't like. And it's kind of all through a lot of my life. It was kind of, you know, I'd be the guy sitting at the back of the class or in some event.
I'm the one at the back. I'm not at the front to be, you know, always. And then I kind of realised when I wanted to do exposure and kind of make the world a better place, right?
Hey, I need to stand out here and get my message across because nobody's going to kind of follow you if you're hiding in the back. And changed it around to kind of with obviously, you know, over 2000 episodes of podcasts and different things I'm doing and not being afraid either that when you are attacked, that it just, just goes over your head, you know, not, I don't allow it to come in. So that's what comes to mind with me.
[Speaker 1] (1:31 - 4:59)
Brilliant. That thing about being attacked actually really struck something for me because when I, as a child, I kind of wanted to be really expressive and just sort of be naturally a child. So in a way, I suppose I had the courage to be seen.
But on the other hand, I had this, I was very vulnerable to being mocked or not so much criticised, but mocked and made fun of. So I had the two things both going on at the same time. I think a lot of children have this actually, that natural, yeah, here I am, you know, isn't life amazing?
I just want to, you know, be me and be seen. And then the other part that goes, but don't knock me over, don't cut my legs off, because that's really going to knock me. I'm only seven, you know, I haven't yet got the full strength yet for that.
So, you know, I think for me, and probably for a lot of us, I kind of made my way through life and both those things going on. And at school, for example, I would be constantly answering questions and constantly being very visible in the classes and at school in general. And mainly because it was the only way I could survive, because I just thought it was such a waste of time being there.
And I thought the only way I can survive this is by just by really showing up and trying to have some fun with it. So I suppose that thing of the courage there was more to do with what's most important to me. Do I want to just survive this situation?
Or do I want to have some fun with it? And I think I've got that now as well with, you know, visibility online, you know, I've got my own business, I'm offering coaching and other things, and you've got to have visibility, you've got to have your stuff out there on social media, and so people can see it. You know, and I, and I've had those moments of, Oh, God, I've just got to do that.
I don't want to do it. I just Oh, God, it's embarrassing. But now I've switched across into, you know, I can just really have fun with it.
I can make having fun with it and being truthful, and putting something out that might be helpful, the goal, rather than who am I trying to impress? Am I trying to hook people in? So for me, this courage to be seen is a lot to do with what's the goal?
Is the goal to be enjoying life and participating and be out there? Because if that's the goal, the fear of being seen reduces. But if the goal is to be impressive, and get it right, get everyone's approval, I think that's when the fear and the despair, exhaustion come in.
So I think that's where I am with the courage to be seen. So how about you, in your life? What does being seen actually mean?
And what's your goal in that? And do people criticize you? And how do you deal with that?
And most importantly, what's really important to you in relation to being seen? So thank you for watching and listening. If you love the show, as we do, of course, if you love the show, please tell one or two friends about it, because you never know, it may really make a difference for them.
Have a great day and see you next time. And thank you to Thank you very much.
[Speaker 2] (5:00 - 5:01)
Until the next episode, take care.
