#45 Living Your Values
In this episode, Roy asks Catherine point blank: are you living your values? Catherine says she’s doing her best, and that the honest answer involves two shifting things, she feels she lives from her values more as time passes, but also notices more clearly when she doesn’t, while becoming more forgiving of herself either way. She used to treat living your values as an all-or-nothing standard, where any slip counted as failure, but now sees her own human frailty as part of the point of having a life at all, since the whole purpose of being human rather than some disembodied spirit floating in the cosmos is to practice living from values and keep discovering what they actually are. She shares a specific moment from the previous morning, waking up with a fresh, first-day-of-life feeling and suddenly recognizing a way she’d been fighting herself, pushing for something she didn’t really want or care about, and the instant she let that go, the whole day opened up differently. For her, that kind of recognition isn’t about catching a failure, it’s a small awakening, part of an ongoing, organic unfolding rather than a fixed destination, and she notes that being stretched in life is exactly what reveals how courageous you really are and how closely you’re actually following your values. Roy responds that sometimes living your values isn’t even a conscious act, other people observing you and naming what they see is often what makes you aware of it yourself, similar to the ripple effect they’ve discussed before. He also frames staying aligned with your values as something you adjust in real time when life throws a curveball, using the image of taking a wrong side street, meeting an oncoming oil tanker, and simply reversing back to the main road as his metaphor for correcting course without losing the thread of who you’re trying to be.
Timestamps
0:02 — Introduction and today’s question: are you living your values
0:16 — Catherine: self-forgiveness, the morning realization, and the unfolding journey
3:11 — Roy: values others see in you, and adjusting course when life throws a curveball
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[Speaker 2] (0:02 - 0:15)
Welcome to episode number 45 of Different Points. I'm joined with my co-host, Catherine Llewellyn, and I'm Roy Collin. And today's question is, living your values.
Catherine, are you living your values?
[Speaker 1] (0:16 - 3:11)
I'm doing my best, honestly. This is a weird one because I think for me two things happen. I think I feel like I do live from my values more as time goes on, but I also notice it more when I don't live from my values more as time goes on.
But I also feel like as time goes on, I'm a bit more forgiving of myself in that regard. I used to feel like, right, if you're living from your values, it's got to be 100% all the time, otherwise you've just failed. And I've understood I'm actually human and I have my own frailties, my own issues, my own times when I fall down on things.
And actually, that's okay. That's part of living. And if I didn't want to and need to learn how to fully embody and live from my values, what's the point of having a human life at all?
Why not just be floating around in the cosmos as some sort of spirit or whatever? Why have this life if not to practice living from values? And actually discovering what the values are as I go.
Yesterday morning, I had an experience where I woke up and thought, suddenly woke up with that feeling of, it's a brand new day. It's the first day of my life type feeling, lovely, fresh feeling, which I get sometimes in the morning. And in that moment, I suddenly had a realization of some ways in which I hadn't been living from my values.
And because of that, I've been giving myself a hard time. I've been fighting with myself by pushing for some things that I actually didn't really want, didn't really matter to me. And in that moment, I just decided to let that go.
And the day just opened up like a flower. It just was a completely different experience, just in that moment of recognition. And I feel like those moments of recognition are not a moment of recognizing failure.
They're a moment of recognizing a fresh piece of awakening, a fresh piece of unfolding. So for me, it's a kind of organic unfolding journey, this journey of living from values. And somebody said recently that it's when we're really stretched that we really find out how courageous we are, how much we're following our values.
And for me, I'm usually stretching myself in my life. And so I'm constantly coming up against the edge of am I fully truly living my values? And could I do so more?
And the answer is always yes, I could always do it more. So that's me, Roy, how about you? Yeah, nice.
[Speaker 2] (3:11 - 4:29)
I like your expression. It's like the opening of a flower today. That's a nice saying.
I think sometimes just doing the right thing, but it's other people say they kind of know your values. So sometimes people are observing and they're stating what they see, which is what you're doing, but you're not kind of doing it consciously. And it's when a person observes what you're doing, that then you become aware, more aware of it.
And same thing, it's kind of like the ripple effect. It's like that you're doing it. And yeah, do we have curveballs in life?
Yes. And then you just adjust your values. Okay, I came off, you know, went off a little side street, you know, and came across an oil tanker and decided, hey, I have to reverse and get back onto the main road.
And that way, yeah, I think you keep aligned with your values. Beautiful. So yeah, nice, short and sweet.
And yeah, just what do the listeners think when you ask yourself that question, we'd like to know. And yeah, give us a thumbs up really helps the show since it's an unofficial until the next episode. Take care.
