#24 The Art of Asking Better Questions

#24 The art of asking better questions
(0:02 - 0:20)
Welcome to Different Points episode 24 with my co-host Roy Colan and myself Catherine Llewellyn. So today's topic is the art of asking better questions. So Roy, let me pass that straight over to you.

(0:20 - 0:59)
Couldn't you ask me a better question? I think like because we're both podcasters as well and we've been on shows, like I've been on a lot of shows, and lots of times, and I know it's the same from you because I see all the reviews and everything, loads of times people would say, I've been on a hundred podcasts, this is the best one ever. And I think it's a case of whether I read a book, I'm kind of just, I don't go into, say if it's podmatch, I don't go into the questions they're going to ask. And I tell people that because what's happening is you're just regurgitating everything.

(0:59 - 1:14)
You've loads of content, but it's the exact same content. And I try to kind of take a few layers off and understand what exactly, where they're coming from. Or, you know, sometimes if you know they're nervous, kind of knowing that the question is going to make them relax and talk about something they're passionate about.

(1:15 - 1:31)
And then they forget they're doing an interview and you get the best out of them. And whether it's in a business setting or whatever, like a lot of times, if you're going to do some sort of business, people give you what they want. But I always say the seller knows a lot more than the buyer.

(1:32 - 1:42)
And the act of the question is to find out what he knows. Brilliant. You're absolutely right with podcasting.

(1:42 - 1:57)
The quality of the questions is what it's all about. And I've had guests say in a review, let's say, Catherine came to the episode with a brilliant set of prepared questions. And I'm thinking, I have no prepared questions.

(1:58 - 2:12)
But they thought they were prepared. And I think the reason the questions are good is because I'm actually listening to the guest very closely. And then the question just comes, rises within me.

(2:13 - 2:23)
You know, it just kind of comes up within me. And I speak the question because the question relates to what the person's just been sharing with me. And then it feels like a really good question.

(2:23 - 2:39)
But it actually came out of the fact that I was really, really listening. So I think that's one aspect of this for me. And in any relationship, when we're really listening and really paying attention, then the actual curiosity comes out in a question.

(2:40 - 2:48)
Our real curiosity comes out in a question. Then that's an interesting question. And to me, there's another side to this, the art of asking better questions.

(2:49 - 3:06)
When I was training originally as a coach, there was the aspect I just mentioned of, you know, you have to ask good questions when you're coaching somebody. And learning to ask the question which takes you deeper with the client. And that's always based on what the client has just shared.

(3:07 - 3:24)
It's not based on being a very clever coach who's got a load of clever questions, because that's just annoying the clients. And it's rude, in my opinion. But the other thing about questions I think is really important is asking questions about life and about what's real and about meaning.

(3:25 - 3:58)
So people go through life, and sometimes we get very confused or overwhelmed, or we're not sure what we're doing, where we're going, or how we want to get there. And often the solution is finding the right question to ask. So the question might be, why am I stuck? How did I get stuck? If I can't think of where I want to be going, what do I know about what I really want? You know, what's blocking me from connecting with my vision? These questions about life are really, really important.

(3:59 - 4:16)
And I don't think we're taught to ask these questions at school. I mean, maybe now, but when I was a child, we weren't. But I think this is one of the most important skills to develop, the ability to ask the questions that help open up our lives for us and help us learn and progress.

(4:17 - 4:38)
So this topic, I think, is a really, really important one. And practicing asking good questions of other people, but of life or of ourselves is incredibly valuable. And just a little kind of add-on to that, because we prepared a list of a lot of questions, but we don't prepare what we're going to say.

(4:38 - 4:47)
We just kind of look at it and we're going to talk. We're speaking from the heart. And we mentioned prior to recording that we're both kind of just paying attention to it.

(4:47 - 5:01)
That's why we swap it around. And sometimes I'm listening to Catherine, and I have a thought in my head when I hear the question for the day, the topic, and I change it. And that's the other thing as well, that something triggers from what you've just said to make me change.

(5:01 - 5:07)
And I think that's just been, as you said, totally present with the conversation. Yeah, yeah. And the same for me as well.

(5:08 - 5:16)
So thank you, everybody, for watching and listening. And I wonder what questions you're asking yourself. And I wonder what questions you might be asking today.

(5:16 - 5:29)
And just see what effect that has on the clarity and the expansion in your day. So thanks for watching and listening. Please do give us a thumbs up and a five-star rating, as we said last time.

(5:29 - 5:39)
And also have a fantastic day and see what topics you really want to explore in your life. Take care. Take care.