#19 The Stories We Tell Ourselves

#19 The stories we tell ourselves
Welcome to episode number 19 of Different Points and I'm joined by my co-host Catherine Llewellyn. Today the question is, the stories we tell ourselves, what comes to mind when you hear that Catherine? Well a recent one I was having a conversation with a marketing coach because I tend to get most of my business through sort of introductions and referrals but the trouble is at my age lots of people are dying so they can't give me referrals anymore. So what it means is I have to get get on with social media and and you know do a lot more of the stuff that when I was younger I just didn't have to do because you would meet new clients, someone would introduce you over a coffee or it was a completely different world so I'm having to engage with something not engaged with before and in the conversation she showed me that I had some stories I was telling myself you know like, oh I can't do good sort of online marketing, I'm too old, I can't do it or no, the sort of people that want to do my sort of work they're not going to go on social media and see any of that stuff anyway so it's a complete waste of time.

You know I had all these sort of stories in my head which were basically just ways of excuses of not getting on with doing something you know not getting on and going hey try this try this try this and it was it was all coming from a place of you know a kind of a stuckness inside me it wasn't coming from a creative place and what was interesting is I am quite a creative person I think of myself as a you know courageous person open person and yet these stories I was telling myself these stories and not realizing I was doing it when she pointed it out it was almost like a shock oh my god I can't believe I'm telling myself those stories and the minute I saw that the stories vanished they just disappeared because they were fake they weren't real and I think we all tell ourselves stories and often we we don't know we're doing it which is why the stories still have the power over us they control us and they stop us from calling up that person who we would really like to go out on a date with or writing that book or starting that project or losing weight and getting fit you know that story goes oh no I can't get fit because my ankle hurts you know I can't I can't start a new project because other people are doing it already and I can't compete with them you know all these stories they do not help us and the thing to do is to wake up and realize find somebody who can help you see what stories you're telling yourself that's what I would say because it's hard to do it on your own yeah very nice for me I mean first of all I think I did Kung Fu for six to eight years because it was a bit on and off when I started working and I thought I started at 16 so when I was telling people the story that I had told myself I was 16 and it was like a year ago maybe my mom sent me a letter my cousin had kept all the letters I had wrote him when he was he was working in the UK and I was telling him I joined Kung Fu I was 13 so I had told myself that story another one is based on the Kung Fu as well I was lucky my grandmother she lived up to a few weeks off short of 96 but when she was in her mid 80s the story that I said was that I said to my grandmother that I need a a martial arts book called the Kama Sutra and she went into the local library and upped the road from her and they didn't have it so they they basically had reserved it in the centre in the city centre and yeah she didn't talk to me for like three weeks but my mum claims that she said it and we still have the debate and I have like one person from her said that yeah she said it my brother said it was me because maybe he heard my story they heard their story but even if I think of my grandmother and her brothers and sisters we used to hear them arguing all the time they all had different story of how something happened and when you know when we when you say the topic like the stories we tell ourselves that's what I think yeah brilliant so yeah what stories have you told yourself for the listeners so yeah be sure to you know give us a thumbs up why is that written share with your friends you'll see all our details in the show notes and we'll see you the next day take care