#33 - Asking Better Questions with Oriented to Love’s Kristyn Komarnicki

Kristyn Komarnicki started Oriented to Love 13 years ago, almost accidentally, in an effort to include the voices of gay people who weren’t present in Christian spaces that she was involved in. Since then, this program, under the aegis of the Christians for Social Action, has become deeper, broader, and more intentional about engaging Christians who have different stances on LGBT topics and bringing them into dialogue with each other.

We talked with Kristyn about how she facilitates dialogues between people with very different convictions. We appreciate her work: in helping us ask better questions. In practicing care. In becoming oriented toward love.

We hope you’ll join us!

About Our Guest:

Kristyn Komarnicki is director of dialogue and convening at Christians for Social Action (CSA). The creator of CSA’s Oriented to Love dialogues about sexual/gender diversity in the church, Kristyn gathers Christians of different sexual orientations, gender identities, and theological convictions together so they can begin to know, understand, and love each other, in search of a unity that is deeper than agreement. Fascinated and encouraged by what happens when we approach our “other” in the posture of a learner—with vulnerability, bravery, curiosity and humility—Kristyn enjoys helping people have more generative conversations, reframing conflict not as something to be feared or avoided but as an opportunity for maturing in Christ. A xenophile who loves to travel and swap stories with people from around the world, Kristyn has studied and worked on three continents, having made a home in Paris, Toronto, and Hong Kong. Today she lives in Philadelphia with her husband of over 30 years.

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Note: This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” (and X, Y) as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, we recommend one of these resources as an overview.

• This article from Life on Side B gives a good quick summary: https://www.lifeonsideb.com/thefoursides
• Our Communion & Shalom episode #3, we talk through the 4 “sides” #3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality

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Timestamps

(00:23) A transformative journey of privilege

(08:16) What if everyone takes the posture of a learner?

(16:56) How do you/OTL navigate tensions in this (LGBT) conversation?

(20:34) Postures of the heart that help this conversation

(29:17) Dialoguing with truth, love, and the slippery slope

(39:52) Being a straight ally

(44:15) Resources for getting involved in OTL

(45:25) How has OTL affected participants' lives?

(48:13) Resources for better question-asking

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Links and References

• Asking Great Questions: An Essential Companion for Every Leader by Aileen Gibb
• I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times by Monica Guzman
• High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How to Get Out of It by Amanda Ripley
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
• Oriented to Love program: christiansforsocialaction.org/programs/oriented-to-love/
• Tip Sheet: “Crafting Dialogue-Nurturing Questions” from OTL
• Workshop: “Transforming Conflict through Curiosity”

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Credits

Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza

Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson (www.carlswensonmusic.com)

Podcast Manager: Elena