“Random Randy Thoughts”: Evolution of Grief, Sabbatical World, Creative Renaissance, Self-Care, & Podcast Hiatus

0:00 Hey everyone, welcome to the Bundy Me Chronicles podcast. This is Randy Kim, your host. It has been quite a year, and actually a year and a half, I should say, because I have done 71 episodes since coming back, and this goes back to August 2025, and I would be lying to you if I thought I was going to reach anywhere near that number. And I will say that when I came back to the podcast, it was right when Operation Midway was taking place in Chicago, which was the ICE raids that were happening and where ICE agents, Border Patrol, police were terrorizing many neighborhoods in Chicago and in the Chicagoland area.

0:50 And still are, by the way, too. I'm The ice raids have not stopped. In fact, I do get text messages on my phone about certain raids that are happening in areas around the city and even into the suburbs. So, with that in mind, I want to say that it has been quite a journey today. You know, being back on the show. And when I ended the show about three years ago in 2023, around this time, I was burned out. I was sick and tired of feeling like I'm doing this rinse and repeat. I felt like I had done everything I could with this medium.

1:35 And as I stepped away, many things have happened not long after that. In 2025, my brother passed away earlier that year, and it had been quite a rollercoaster. I was becoming very frustrated with how things were happening with my last job. I was very concerned about... A lot of the things that were happening around me, and I don't want to spend too much time on that, but In my last conversation with my brother Andy, a few days before he passed, he told me to consider thinking of stepping into a new direction or changing courses.

2:27 And I remember telling him that I wasn't ready to do that and that I don't want to give up on it too soon. And after he passed... The grief of losing him was very overwhelming. And it wasn't just my grief, but it was also my family's grief, particularly with my elderly parents who were really feeling that loss. And I felt that the idea that work is a distraction or a good distraction from the grief, to me, I think it's baloney. I think it's nonsense. I felt that I couldn't allow myself to, or at least I didn't feel like I had the capacity to be in a good state of mind to do the things that I know I'm capable of doing.

3:20 And having to work on a major gala at the time was an undertaking with all the grief that was happening and a lot of moving parts that were going around me during that time. It was until around mid-May that I decided to walk away. And it was only because my late brother was able to leave me something that allowed me to have a cushion, to have leverage so I could take this much-needed sabbatical.

4:01 Focus on my own self-care, but also to focus on the things that I love and want to do. And I came back to the podcast more conveniently, and I realized how much my creativity began to re-emerge after being away for so long. And how much more curiosity I have, or I had in... Wanting to talk to this person or that person or talk about this subject. And I felt like I was coming in with a different mindset, a renewed sense of confidence that I didn't have before I left the podcast and the things that have happened shortly thereafter.

4:43 I want to say that... That 2025 summer was a very transformative period of time. I was able to spend more time grieving and it was very painful. It was very hard for me to go places without being reminded about him and then having to be consumed with the scattering of his remains during our trip to Oregon where he wanted his ashes scattered. And I decided to also take on different adventures or different challenges, I should say.

5:26 I decided to learn Vietnamese for the first time in my early 40s. And I will say that I've come a long way, even though I'm not fluent. I think I speak at an elementary level, per se. But I am very proud of the progress that I've made because if you were to ask me two years ago if I could text message in Vietnamese and be able to hold some basic conversation or be I realized how much more motivated and re-energized I was because of that sabbatical.

6:21 To be given paid opportunities to do presentations, to do speaking opportunities at universities and organizations. Although not in the kind of numbers that I was used to because of the DEI funding cuts and whatnot. But... It also gave me an opportunity to become more comfortable being a storyteller on social media. I have been doing a lot of content reels on Instagram. I used to do it on TikTok before I pulled it off, but on Instagram and Facebook. And then, you know, being very comfortable with how I use my online time. And even though I do post quite a bit of reels, It's been a lot of fun.

7:04 I'm not gonna lie. I really, really enjoy, you know, having random things pop up in the middle of the day. I'm like, oh yeah, I just went to this cafe or I'm thinking about this topic and just getting on, going outside, get my phone, start recording. Yep. And it's been a lot of fun. I also spend a lot of time, you know, Being out in nature and detoxing away for a little bit after I spent a lot of time being on the digital world. I don't want to spend too much time about my whole time off, but this summer was a very rough one because I had to deal with being in the hospital, having to deal with my illness, and then having to deal with the insurance company, which was not fun, but With that said, I also had a very long job search.

8:06 I was going on different job interviews when I decided to re-enter myself into the workforce and then trying to get sponsorship for the podcast, which I haven't been able to make good on because I've had too many things happen. I felt like by the time I got to the end of summer, Fall comes in and all of a sudden a shift started happening. I got offered a job at a Chicago non-profit doing development work which is more on the fundraising event planning lane which I'm very accustomed and I have continued to do even more content and spending more time with friends and being back downtown Chicago working and You know, just trying to figure out my own schedule and because of that, my schedule has gotten so busy and hectic that I felt like this was a good time to finally step away from the podcast recording for just a moment and until I kind of get my...

9:20 A lot of things have happened this fall. I had the great opportunity to speak at Dominican University thanks to Dr. Jane Su, and also a big shout out to my friend Jasmine McMullen. Who is like one of my dearest, dearest friends, who was able to share space with me in reading her poetry, Stir Friday Night, for inviting me on to talk at Habayo Cafe, to do Both at Dominican University and Stir Friday Night, I was able to do an abbreviated version of what I hope will be my one-person play called Son of a Grief, which chronicles the final months of my brother's life and his eventual passing.

10:14 And so forth. I got to host an author conversation last week with Dr. Fadi Judah. He was a previous guest on my podcast and he is the author of Exhibit G, which chronicles and documents the... The life of what's happening in Gaza, in Palestine, and he shares his poetry, his essays on there, and it was a very important talk, and I was very honored by Milkweed Editions. The publisher of his book and also to Women and Children First Bookstore, one of my favorite indie bookstores in Chicago, to have the opportunity to host an author conversation in person.

11:01 So it was a true honor. I hope that people get a chance to check his book out. And also I had Dr. John Durrani, who was a childhood or actually a high school friend of mine, high school. And then we were really good friends in college. A really, really long time ago, we hadn't talked in forever, and he spoke about dementia, GLP-1s, which is like Ozampic, Bigovi, and Munjaro, and talking about that, because it's something that I have been I have moderate sleep apnea.

11:42 I've been dealing with health issues for the past two years, especially in light of what happened to my brother and then with our family and having to spend more time. This is the time figuring out my health routine. Being in my 40s, I have seen some people pass away around me. It also reminds me of the challenges that will come ahead, especially as you get older. Being of that age, this is the age where a lot of things do happen. It was a great conversation to have at the right time.

12:22 And ironically, about a day later, I got on the Ozempic tablet pill, on the pill form, right after my conversation, after I talked to my own doctor about it. And we'll see what happens. But it's another new journey that I'm also taking on and learning to find ways to better my health and my sustainability. With that said, I don't know when I'm going to fully return back to the podcast. But again, I just want to say that I'm not burned out from it. I, in fact, feel a lot of joy and feel a lot of rejuvenation from it.

13:06 But I also, in order to avoid the burnout, I have to be able to... Step away for a moment and what I realized when I did step away completely a few years back, I realized how much things can change and how you change as a person. So, with that said, But I feel like I'm finding a lot of my joy again. I also want to thank Andy, my late brother, for giving me that privilege to allow me to take that time off.

13:55 And the support of my surviving brother for being supportive. I don't know where I would be, you know, if I didn't have that kind of support, but, you know, as they say, I much rather have Andy around, you know, so I can talk to him and vent to him about work, and I can hear him vent about work or, you know, random stuff all the time. And, you know, I find myself driving at night quite often, and there are times when I wish I could just call him, you know, and say, hey, how are you doing, you know? And it's really hard to imagine that that is not part of my everyday routine.

14:42 Where I could just pick up the phone and call them. It's so something that I don't think I've ever fully gotten over. And I know that... The two-year anniversary is coming up, heading into November, Thanksgiving, Christmas, his death anniversary in the middle of January, a month later, his birthday. So, a lot of reminders. A lot of reminders that myself and my family have to be... Navigating through. And it's going to be tough. I'm not going to lie. But all I could do is, you know, try to honor my life.

15:26 Honor him the way I live my life. And, yeah. But in any case, I am, you know, looking back or looking forward to more new things. You know, and seeing how this new... I hope that you're enjoying my content. I know I've been very active in social media lately, but I would just say that it's not something I take very seriously. I feel like one of the key to dealing with social media is to be very unserious, is to just laugh at things and to be very, you know, To, you know, provoke questions and to spread joy and to ask tough questions, but doing it from a place of curiosity, doing it from a place of care and good intentions and having to walk away when you need to and realize that, you know, It's all noise out there.

16:35 But anyways, I just want to say thank you so much for being very patient with me, for being so supportive of my journey, for listening to my podcast and telling folks about it. And also really thank you so much for the DMs and reaching out to me and And I really hope all the best for you in return, especially in this very difficult climate that we live in. In the meantime, never lose sight of who you are and who you want to be.

17:22 I hope it comes full circle for you. Thank you so much. We'll talk again soon. Bye.