End of Month Update & Recovery From My Five Day Hospital Stay

0:00 So here's a little random bonus episode brought to you by myself. And yeah, there's a couple of things I want to share with you as we wrap up for the end of July. What a month it has been. It's been quite a chaotic month to say the least in ways that I didn't expect. And unfortunately, most of it happened during Mercury Retrograde. For those that don't know about it, look it up. I don't care if you believe it or not. But anyways, well, first and foremost, I want to apologize for accidentally leaking my interview with Author, Nayantara Roy.

0:42 It's still up on YouTube in subsect, but it will get the full release treatment this Tuesday. So looking forward to it. I had a wonderful conversation with Nayantara about her latest second novel called Sisters of a Halved Heart. And it's about complicated sibling relationships. And this was a very fun and So, I want to address the big elephant in the room.

1:24 Well, July started with my Apple Watch malfunctioning and having to get a delay of a few days for my new one to come in. And then about maybe two weeks ago, I started getting symptoms in the middle of the week. I was feeling disoriented. I was getting chills. I was feeling very weak. And I still have a cough as we speak here. Had to go to urgent care on that Friday, two days after my symptoms started showing up and my EKG went off the charts and I had to go to the ER and when arriving, They had tested me again with EKG, put me on an IV, taking blood tests.

2:23 And then next thing you know, I had to stay overnight at the hospital. And then I was still getting high fevers. And And they detected that there might be something in my left atrium of my heart. And so they had to do the camera test. And where they have to go put a camera through my throat, which luckily I had to... Anesthesia didn't feel a thing. And they said that luckily there was no blood clot. There was nothing that actually materialized. So that's great news, especially considering my own family history and what happened to my late brother a year and a half ago.

3:09 So, you know, being in this hospital bed was quite an ordeal. I was feeling very weak. I was having mouth sores. I was barely able to eat. I had problems sleeping. Had to get my blood test done at 5 in the morning. And I was still very disoriented. I would oscillate between having a normal temperature to a high fever every two hours and had to get the ice packs to kind of cool down. I had a temperature as high as 102 degrees Fahrenheit. And...

3:51 It was very challenging. I had the IV machine hooked up to me and it was a struggle using the bathroom. And one particular night, in the middle of the night, I tried to use the bathroom. Trigger warning here. As I was using the bathroom, my IV hook just came off out of nowhere, and blood was coming out, and so was the water coming from the IV, and I was horrified and very disoriented. Pulled the emergency button, the nurse came in, was incredibly gracious, very calm, and was able to settle me down, give me change and everything. It was... It was a reality check and it was also a reality about my own limitations and how much of a reminder that when you're in a hospital, you have to lower your pride, you have to get rid of your pride and And know that you're working with a medical team that's not phased by any mishaps.

4:58 And there was plenty of mishaps, and it was quite an ordeal. So... And yes, I would have to have assistance to the bathroom each time just to make sure that I was not going to have any side effects and any mishaps. So not a fun experience. I didn't realize I would have to be there for the next five days. In the meantime, I had to have ultrasound done. And, you know, they spotted some polyp on my gallbladder that they want me to test in for future for the next couple of months.

5:41 My liver enzymes, you know, which they want to keep checking. So there's a lot of precautionary things that I have to do. And as someone who is now 43 years old, this is... Something that I am now starting to see how serious my body needs to be monitored and to be nourished and cared for. Because I have seen people around my age group pass away unexpectedly. And obviously my brother's passing is very fresh on my mind and he would have been 40 this year.

6:22 And that along with watching other people in my peer groups having to undergo medical procedures at this stage kind of reminds you of how mortality does linger around us. And how much we have to value our time and our health and what we want to do at this stage in our life. And that's something I've been thinking about, especially when I had to go to my hospitalization two years ago, which led me to, you know, my psych unit stay. For several days and you know this is like my first real medical emergency that I've had in a very very long time and It was a very humbling experience, but it was also a reminder that we have to treat ourselves with the best, utmost respect that we can give it.

7:26 And unfortunately, being in America, I'm going to have to fight the insurance company, as always, because insurance companies just like to make battles out of nothing. And yeah, so that's one thing I have to deal with. Right now, I am still recovering. My stamina level is not where it's at. It's still kind of hovering around, you know, being able to function somewhat, but can't really do anything strenuous. And I still have my cough. And I did test for Epstein-Barr virus, which is another kind of mono. And it's due saliva. So in case anyone's asking me about, well, did you do this?

8:10 Did you do a lot of kissing? Whatever. I'm just going to say that I can, can't, I'm not going to confirm nor deny that, you know, I have my own needs. And, uh, Yeah, I guess I am the chosen victim. So, but yeah, I want to say thank you to all my friends for checking up on me. I think one thing I think is very important, especially if your friends or loved ones are in the hospital, it would be very helpful to have to reach out to like their designated person or their friend that's looking after them, you know, to help field any And also try to be very mindful because I think that when I was dealing with a lot of messages and calls from people, and this is not me shaming any of them, I appreciated all of it.

9:11 The thing is that when you are dealing with trying to figure out what's happening to you and how Things rapidly change. I was told I was going to be in the hospital overnight. I was told I was going to be in the hospital for three days and then turned into five days. That this could be this or this could be that. And also coupled with where my energy level was. I was dealing with high fever, so it was very hard for me to communicate half of the time. It was very disorienting, but I also do want to thank my very good friend, my dear, dear friend, Jung, for being there for me and for visiting me, giving me the supplies that I needed.

9:58 Especially that coconut water which I really really needed and came at a good time. I also want to thank my brother Tony and his wife Mello for also being there talking to the doctor you know trying to make things work with their schedule and coming from the city and also I really appreciate their efforts and of course my mom for You know, trying to bug me every few hours and see how I was doing. And also being aware that Andy's death is still very fresh on our minds. So, you know, putting that into context. But I want to thank all my friends for really checking in and for showing their concerns.

10:40 It does truly mean a lot. And I think that... If we are in a situation where you're in the hospital, make sure that you have a person that you can designate to share information, especially when you're in a situation where you're incapacitated or just not having energy to do so. Anyways, that has led me to cancel other plans, and as I'm still recovering, I'm I am hoping to get to a good place where I'm at very soon. But there's other things I do want to talk about.

11:22 I want to talk about the recent allegations, my posting about Danny Rodriguez Pan and Fatri Derek Pan from Camerican. A lot of Cambodian folks have been following me more recently, and some folks have been trying to challenge me about my intentions to address accountability for those two people. To that, I say, I don't feel like it's my responsibility to constantly have to show you proof when your intentions are not about that. It's about trying to still challenge.

12:04 They still protect harmful people like those two. And Fatri Derek Pan, and I've already had my episode with him, I've done videos of him, and Sophia Som had earlier done a post about him. So I don't feel like I need to explain that anymore, other than the fact that there have been testimonies from people that he's worked with or been friends with that have been drifted by him. And that there have been allegations of sexual predatory behavior. And for Donnie, who has her own spiritual grifting, it feels that But there is a lot to say about the white savior complex, the colonizing mentality that she has coming into Cambodia with her charity work.

12:58 It is very interesting that for a person who talks about human rights Who works in human rights to align herself with a person like Fatri. And the fact that she has erased, blocked people from who are calling. Or sharing their concerns about her working with him. So that really speaks to the level and hypocrisy that she's willing to protect a person like him. To protect her own brand. To protect her own level of drifting. So, for Dani, she was a person that was on my podcast a couple years ago.

13:41 I have distanced myself from her the past few years. And... I will say very upfront that knowing her, I find her to be suspicious and very disappointing, but also a person who is not as smart as she thinks she is. Given what she has said, what she has shared, the misinformation that she represents, there's something about it that is very unsettling. So... I do not apologize. I feel that what we've seen with the Epstein files and what we've seen with the current president and everything else, That there will be detractors.

14:31 There will be people that will try to deny and discredit the victims and the allies that are trying to bring attention to it. And I say, have at it. I do not care. What I do care about is the potential victims that are going to be affected by this. And I'm more concerned about other folks being aware, being made aware, and to question our own leaders because that is a way to be holding our leaders and members accountable and making sure that there's transparency.

15:17 So I think it's been very important that That we continue to uplift. But at the same time, make sure that there is transparency. That when there is questions that our leaders are able to address. And to not dodge accountability. And like these two, they are still continuing to dodge that. And that doesn't make things any better. And I think that only speaks to the... And it does not do anything to lessen the suspicions that a lot of people have of those two.

16:02 So, enough said. Yeah, I'm looking forward to August. There will be more episodes coming up. I'm looking forward to doing a round of new interviews. And in the meantime... I am going to do my best to try to stay healthy, just ride this wind. But I also want to say that I am approaching one year since returning to the podcast. And what a journey it has been to come back. And I've seen how much of a difference... Um, it has been from the time that I left back in 2023 to my return and how different of a person I've become.

16:49 Someone who's become more confident, having less imposter syndrome, um, Feeling more comfortable about having high level conversations with community leaders and creative and thought leaders to have very high level conversations about what is going on in our community and the work that they're doing. But also be having joy, you know, having fun things about like pop culture deep dives, which I never get to do. Right now, it's been a very fun, creative journey. Hopefully, this will continue on for a little while longer because I feel like I'm able to say The things that I want to bring to the surface.

17:40 And I'm very grateful to all my guests and to my audiences for listening in and for really taking the time to invest in it. And it's been a joy. So thank you so much for supporting the Banh Mì Chronicles podcast. In the meantime, yeah, I hope that you all stay safe. Stay cool. And, you know, continue to lean in on each other, you know, for support and for love and care and checking in on your friends and family members and taking really good care of yourself in the meantime.

18:23 So, but anyways, thank you so much. And yeah, thank you for listening to me rant and rave.