Episodes

In this question-and-quote episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes asks: how can I use my unique talents and resources to help others and the planet? In other words, how can I contribute? He encourages thinking big, but says you can contribute at any level, whether that is the world, your country, your city, your community, your neighbourhood or your family. The quote is that until you direct your own play, you will be a marionette in someone else’s. Arnold points out that many people are liv...

In this episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes looks at the inner voices we all live with, and why it matters to tell them apart. He starts with the loudest, the inner critic, which criticises what you said or did, sometimes years ago, in language we would never use on another person. He explains its role around safety, why it cannot tell real threats from imagined ones, and how it often echoes the way our parents spoke to us. He then looks at the mask, a voice that speaks as if it were you ...

In this question-and-quote episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes asks: what do you feel in your body right now? He invites you to take a few seconds and scan every part of your body, from your toes to your ears, noticing tension, relaxation, pain or nothing at all, and asks what your body is telling you. The quote reflects how education and upbringing teach us to prevent failure at all costs, which is why failing fast and often, as the startup world requires, is so difficult. Arnold’s messa...

In this episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes looks at the difference between loneliness and being alone, especially among young people, though it affects people of any age. He describes a neighbour who lost his wife and keeps the radio on all day without listening, and explains how noise can drown out the inner voice we don’t want to hear. Arnold recommends turning the inner critic into an inner cheerleader, focusing on what goes right, and says that loud music, crowds, shopping or being a...

In this question-and-quote episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes asks: what are your strengths? He encourages you to look beyond physical strengths or the ones that show up at work, since your strength might be that you are extremely good at taking care of your children. He points out that strengths tests, like the ones many of us did at school, only capture a moment, because we are dynamic, not static. The strengths you listed at 15 are different from those at 35 or 65, so he invites you t...

In this episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes looks at energy, frequency and vibration, and why he sees them as one of the most important things about being human. He starts with a simple analogy: pushing a child on a swing, where the push is the energy, the back-and-forth motion is the vibration and the number of swings per minute is the frequency. From there he suggests the energy we radiate is the energy we receive, which is why managing it matters. He invites you to keep a list of your ...

In this question-and-quote episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes asks: when we find ourselves longing for something from the outside world, what might change if we first looked for a way to offer it ourselves? He explains how conditioned we are, especially by advertising, to believe we need to buy products or services to feel better, perform better or be healthier, and invites you to consider living from the inside out instead of the outside in. The quote this time is attributed to Tolkien:...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes zooms in on the better for all collectives he is setting up. He describes one as a community of care where participants design and implement better for all ways of learning, living and working in their own environment, whether that is a neighbourhood, a city, a country or the world. Collectives are currently being organised in Uganda, Nigeria, Ghana, Paraguay and the Netherlands. Arnold’s reasoning is that the people in charge are focused on what he calls better fo...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks: what experience has changed your perspective? It can be from yesterday, this week or years ago, and he asks what you were doing and what inspired, triggered or hurt you. Knowing which experiences and texts change your perspective helps you learn and grow, and if nothing comes to mind, pay attention over the next few days to what does. The quote is “Conformity is like gravity. It pulls you down. It takes a lot of effort and energy to break f...

In this follow-up to the what of creativity, Arnold Beekes covers the how, starting from the fact that our creativity is suppressed from a young age, so the first step is allowing yourself to be creative again. He lists what you need. A question, meaning what you are researching or trying to make visible. A lot of different dots, the topics that inspire you, which don’t have to relate to your question, and he gives the example of Alexander von Humboldt and Jules Verne, whose novels drew on Humbo...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks: what makes you change your thinking? He invites you to look at times in the past when your thinking changed, and at what might need to change today or in the next few weeks. It can be something big, like the old belief that the earth was flat, or something small, like deciding to stop eating meat, and in each case it usually takes compelling evidence. The quote is “Honesty hurts, hearts and heals.” Arnold knows “hearts” isn’t a verb, but he...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes splits creativity into two sessions, starting with the what, with the how to follow next time. His definition is that creativity is connecting different dots in a different way and adding something new. The dots are the topics and subjects you are interested in, which is why curiosity and reading widely matter: with two dots there is not much to connect, with 37 it becomes easy. He gives brain fitness and brain athletes as his example, built from the fitness indust...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks: which activities in your real life make time disappear and leave you feeling more like yourself? He suggests starting a list, anything from cooking a meal to walking a dog, talking with a friend or reading a great book. He stresses “real life,” meaning not three hours of scrolling, and says to keep the list for a month or two without rushing. Once you have five or six activities, look at what the list tells you and how it makes you feel. Th...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes looks at what happens when we use AI heavily, as work shifts from humans using software to humans managing autonomous agents that do the writing, searching and image creation for us. He cites a number of studies and surveys to make the case that outsourcing your thinking weakens it. He refers to an MIT study on using ChatGPT for writing tasks, which reported significantly lower brain activity and learning, with AI users showing the weakest neural connectivity compa...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks: what motivates me? He is looking for your intrinsic, inner motivation rather than the external kind. Most people use the word as if someone else has to do it, like a boss motivating an employee. Arnold thinks that is impossible and that it reinforces not living your own life. To live your own life you need to know what motivates you. Is it money, fame or status, which many people think bring lasting happiness but don’t, or is it helping oth...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes talks about rudeness contagion, a video his business partner Roy shared with him. The idea is that low-level rudeness doesn’t just feel bad, it spreads through our nervous system and organizations like a virus. Arnold lists the key findings. Even a single rude encounter can make you more likely to read later interactions as hostile and respond rudely yourself. Anyone can become a carrier, even a kind and conscious person, often without realizing it. Rudeness works ...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks: what gives you fulfillment? The answer doesn’t matter as long as you give one, or a couple. He suggests giving yourself a few days to observe yourself, then looking at your answers and what they mean to you. The quote is “If you do business like everyone else you will end up discounting your people and your products.” Arnold says business schools, MBAs and universities teach you to look at best practices and copy the best companies in your ...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes asks what seems like an easy question: what do you want? He remembers being asked it by a coach 25 years ago, after he had lost his job, was going through a divorce and had lost his father. He spent the session listing what he didn’t want, no boss, no large corporation, and the coach asked what he did want. He had no idea, and nobody had ever asked him before, not his parents, teachers or bosses, who mostly want you to do or be something. That started his journey t...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks: what do I value? He suggests making a list of three to five things that feel right to your heart brain, anything from your health to time with family to time for learning and growing. The reason it matters is that we are bombarded with choices every day, from what to eat and which supplements to use to what media to consume and who to engage with, and knowing your values works like a thermometer that makes those choices easier. The quote is...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes takes up responsibility, which links back to the starting point he shared a few episodes ago: you are good enough, and it’s not your fault but it is your responsibility. He lays out four ways to deal with it. First, you can accept responsibility for your well-being or refuse it, and refusing means “I’m a victim, it’s just the way I am.” Second, if you refuse, you become a pinball of other people and circumstances, your problems remain, and you feed a need for signi...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks: what are you most excited about lately? It can be small, moderate or big, as long as it excites you. He admits it isn’t an easy question, because we’re used to negatively framed ones like what frustrates you or what you hate. He invites you to write your answer down, since it may surprise you, and to keep asking yourself regularly, because it says a lot about you. The quote is from Osho and ties to responsibility, which Arnold will discuss ...

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes starts with a simple question: if you go out to a restaurant, where do you go and what do you eat? He won’t say what the answer means, but he believes it says something about you and how you deal with certainty and uncertainty, so it’s worth thinking about. The quote for this episode is “People who have nothing interesting to share often resort to complaining and criticizing.” Arnold points to social media, where most people criticize what others...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes shares what he calls a first aid kit for your brain fitness, for days when your mood is low, your energy is gone and everything feels negative. You don’t have to do it all. He invites you to pick one or two items and apply them today, then try another on another day. The list: stop watching or reading the news and learn something instead, since you miss nothing and most of it is built to create fear; stop meeting toxic people and connect with inspiring ones, even i...

In this episode, Arnold Beekes talks about attention as one of the most valuable currencies we have. Where your attention goes, your energy flows, and he argues that far too much of it is triggered by fear. Fear puts you in survival mode, fight or flight, and in that state you can’t be creative, find good solutions or get real insights, because great ideas need a relaxed mind. Arnold, who was born in the Netherlands and now lives in Paraguay, points out there are no tigers around, yet fear is st...