For Linda with Kristina Lucia

trigger warning, the Resilience Project provides an open space for people to share their personal experiences. Some content in this podcast may include topics that you may find difficult, the listeners discretion is advised.

Hello friends, welcome to radical resilience, a weekly show where I Blair Kaplan Venables have inspirational conversations with people who have survived life's most challenging times. We all have the ability to be resilient and bounce forward from a difficult experience. And these conversations prove just that, get ready to dive into these life changing moments while strengthening your resilience muscle and getting raw and real.

Welcome back to another episode of radical resilience. It's me, Blair Kaplan Venables, and I'm here to dive into someone who is so fascinating. She has accomplished goals that are on my list, she seems extremely fascinating. And we both at one point in our lives lived in a town with one traffic light. And so this is exciting. So Kristina Lucia is an artist, creator and author who ignites the imaginations of children and their parents through her limited edition animals and touching storybooks. Her humble beginnings in a small farm town, there was only one traffic light sparked her creativity at a young age and her adopted home of New York keeps her inspired daily, curiously curated creations of Kristina Lucia features a magical array of warm, cuddly and comforting creatures along with their storybooks that help parents and kids improve their communication and deepen their relationships. Isn't that beautiful? Oh, my gosh. Hello, hello.

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Oh, I am so excited for you to be here. Yeah, when I read your bio is like, I'm like, it's been on my list for a few years. I'm in the process of working on a children's book about resilience. So I was like, Oh, she she's accomplished a goal that's on my list. I love it. I love it. So you know, we're here to talk about resilience. And, you know, you shared with me that the day you lost your mom, you received a sign from her that encouraged you to pursue your current path.

Tell me about that. I did i i literally declare myself an entrepreneur. About a month, a Nivea a month, a couple of weeks before went went on my annual you're one of my annual Europe trips, having a blast in Italy. And I come back. And my mom has sent me a text saying I'm in the hospital with pneumonia, but I'm on the mend. And we were deploying a relationship where I really was having difficulty talking to her. There was a extreme amount of miscommunication for a lot of years and those that around that period of time. It was becoming very difficult to speak to her for various reasons. And I got a call a couple of days later, from one of my siblings saying, Can you please call Dad Mom's really ill. And that's when I thought something was wrong. So I nearly booked a ticket. Found out my mom was stage four lung cancer. A week later, we lost her. And the day we lost her and I swear my grandma's namesake. That's why I'm Alicia. My grandma's Lucy. So I was named after my grandma. And I remember there was a day that I remember. But there was a day when I was out there. We thought she was gonna go and I went to the hall and asked the nurse what's going on? Because no one there was no communique. There wasn't a lot of communication between us. And everyone was very upset. And I know when you have I realize you've been in this boat yourself. When you have a parent that's that ill. Your job is to be positive. And I knew if I couldn't be positive, I needed to leave the room. And so I chose to leave the room because I needed to figure out what was going on because I knew the game plan. And there's told me your mom's on a lot of oxygen. She's probably going to go soon. And I said I don't want to be there for her last breath. Can you please give me a warning? Because for me, I don't I want to remember people as they are. And I was my grandma visceral way and my mom came to you that day. Anxiety told her about my cynical that's in your community is claiming it to recharge. And she passed away a day and a half later, the day before we were texting and she told me are our last words to each other where I love you so much. My words terrible. I love you too. That's another friend's house. When I got the news and I got home I opened up my mailbox. And the night she was ill I found out that she was really ill I got this urge to go online and file for my LLC and when I got home that day, I opened the mailbox and I held in my Hands, a letter addressed to my company. And I knew it was my mom and my grandma. And I knew that it was my grandma that ran to God love and said, God and give my daughter a few more days, my granddaughter made a request and you need to honor this. That was my grandma that made her come to I believe, like that was my grandma's hand on the pot. And when I got that, that letter, because I was between two different ideas for businesses, and I knew they were both saying to me, we need you to do this. This isn't just for you. This is for us. This is for more people than yourself. And I really believe that when my mom left this earth and went to the next life, I do believe my grandma fire at the Golden gates and said, and said, Linda, she's gonna get it later today. Trust me on this, she's going up. And I do believe that. And the beautiful thing is that my healing you know, it is an ongoing process healing, like the things that happened when she was on this earth and things that happen since you know, it is it is a choice to heal, it is a choice to respect people's choices, including hers. Because in the day, our relationship was built full solely on love. I, my pet name is Pisa. And that's my mom's maiden name. That was like a big part. It's been a big part of my healing journey that I chose to use my mom's maiden name. So that because I am baptized Kristina Lucia, that is my legal name. But the fact that I chose to have a pen name, it was my mom's name was a big piece. And then the other big piece of this is that the first person that I told I was taking on a pen name was my sister. And it's moments like that, where I see I feel that sign keeps living on. Like my mom. My mom, oh, one I know, in my heart and soul, that my mom wanted certain things. And, you know, I think she's really, really proud of that. And I'm grateful that I had the openness in my heart and mind to, to take that sign, you know, and also to I know, wish I could hear her voice right now, please think of grandmother, please think your grandma. My grandmother was there, too. I'm from an Italian family.

I was just gonna say like, I'm from a Jewish family. And it's very similar. And I was like, she's either Jewish or Italian, because of like, the way you're talking. It's same, but like, we were not baptized. No, no, I get I get it. Well, I mean, that story gave me goosebumps. And, unfortunately, I know, I know what you I don't know how you feel. But I could imagine because I lived it. You know, we learned our mom had cancer and died three weeks later. And it was, you know, she was 62. You know, my sister and I were, you know, we're still in our 30s. But she's younger, and we got to be with her. We wanted to be with her. My uncle was there. And my aunt and we were with her. And it was a very peaceful exit. And, but like, there's nothing more painful in my experience than losing a parent. And I can confirm because I've lost both that I've lost one that I was close with, like my mom who raised me and my dad, I was close on a different level. And we lost him. There's just it's painful. And it's shitty. And it's hard. And you know, thank you for being so raw. Because it's it is hard to talk about.

Yeah. Yeah. Another part that I found was difficult is around the whole situation. And I actually have a good friend who is who has a parent that is very ill right now. And we had a conversation recently where she said, You don't I'm trying to figure out when he has to go into hospice. And I shared with her because like when my mom passed in the hospital, and this friend is no my mom knew my mom her entire we've been friends since you're 10 years old. We've known each other our entire lives. She knew my mom very well. And I hope this helps in sharing it. I hope it helps people listening. That may be in a similar situation, that she's in this point where she's trying to figure out what's best for her dad, and what does her dad want. And I shared with her, you know, when my mom passed away in the hospital, at first, I was very upset about it. Because my mom was a homebody, she hated hospitals, she hated medication and all of that. So from my head at first, I was like, This is what she did. She didn't want that she wanted to be in her own bed. But then I found out through my siblings that she did want to fight to the very end. And it brought me such peace respecting her decision. And I really believe that our higher power in our case and God has a way of knowing what we want. And he does put things in that pass, you know. And that's, that was very comforting because I will and my friend, unfortunately is going through this right now, you know, when I did, when even now it was be a couple years, it's been three little over three years since I lost my mom and people continually project how they're feeling on me. Like you just did something really beautiful where you gave me space to feel. And you gave me space to like, share and have a moment to cry and have a moment to release the emotions because a lot of times, no, I would say a lot of times, but unfortunately more often than not. I am very careful about what I talk about. Unless I'm in a space like this where I feel extremely vulnerable. I feel like I can be vulnerable. Because so many people were telling me when my mom was sick, are you eating? Are you okay? When you come in when you go away? I'm like, the I'm the one that lost a parent here people like I'm the one that lost a parent. So that's why on the flip side, now that I'm on the other side of the fence, and I'm watching my childhood friend battle, like handle, like handle the currents and really ask themselves What What the I really don't know what and I told you that i If I could say the wrong thing, I'm really sorry. And gratefully like what I said she's like, ungrateful. You told me that it makes me feel a lot better. Because you you don't know what's in someone's head. And there's nothing more frustrating being told how to feel. But when you're in situations that you're just like, let me feel thankful, you

know? And it's not just that, but have you known like, did you notice with your grief, that, like, we're the ones who lost parents, like you're the one who lost your mom, but like the grief made so many other people uncomfortable that they projected on you? Yes. And it's so crazy. It's like, like some people like I, you know, my both situations, it's sometimes some of the messages I got. And, you know, it's like, I know, you're sad. Like, I can imagine how sad you are. I'm sad too. But like, I want to know, you're sad. Like, I want to know how loved my parents were. But it's interesting. Like, yeah, it's grief is so tricky. And it shows up. So weird. And we all navigate things. But, you know, people who've never experienced a loss, like the loss of whoever they lose. It's, they're trying to navigate it. But if you're like the primary family member, you're in a different position, and they want to support you, but they're also grieving, and they don't know what to say. And they say the wrong thing that we think it might be the wrong thing. But we know it's not meant to be malicious.

Yes, yes. And that's where I found I have to have grace with people like I had a family member recently, in the past couple of months reach out to me about something they were going through. And so I immediately go on, like damage control mode, like I called, I texted the following day I texted, but I found being aware how I feel when people are projecting on me when I call them later that week. I gauge how they were feeling. And I didn't bring up what they told me a couple of days earlier, because I felt from what I've learned from going through my grief. And then when I see somebody else go through grief, I feel the best thing that I can do is give them space and give them the choice of what what they want to talk about. What do they want to talk about it? Or how are they feeling about as opposed to me assuming oh my gosh, like they can't get out of the bed today by my blog, because maybe they can maybe they are like doing better than they think they are. And there is it's an awareness thing. And I agree, I think it's something that when we do go through it and I find like that's like for me my healing process for me wanting to grow as a human wanting to be a better sister, a better friend like wanting to be someone's wife wanting to be a mother you know, and I am already an godmother, it's I want to be the best version of myself there does come to stern awareness and also this respect of what the other person needs in that moment. And it is it is a constant work in progress. I mean, it's not perfect like I always joke about this my sister has a two year old boy and I'm completely in love with my nephew and you know sometimes he wants to space and when I see him all I want to do is clobber him and just hug him and cuddle him but he doesn't want that this this constant decision to be like that. You want to be a good aunt if your relationship with him you need to give him space you know, and it's no different when a friend or a family member is going through a piece of grief like even if we're grieving the same situation the same person like we're all experiencing it differently like I like with our mom being gone. You know one of my other family members reacted differently towards something that I personally was grateful to happen that way and you know that I had to respect okay, they they saw it this way and that's okay like they have they they're human they I have the space to do that, you know, I mean, they had the space to see it this way, you know, and this is where it comes down with my mom like respecting her. Yeah, respecting her choices respecting because again, like I personally thought, oh my god, we she did it she passed away in a hospital like she would have hated that. But then when I heard from another one of my siblings or it was my dad who said it that no, she wanted to fight till the very end, I realized, no, that's what she wanted. And that's when I knew it's my responsibility to respect her choice as a human as a human to a human.

Because it was about her not about you. And you know, it's Did you like I felt like I didn't really grow up until my mom died. It was like this piece of the puzzle where like, Yeah, I'm an adult, and I pay bit like my taxes. Yes, I have a house, but like, you know, I'm an adult. But no, no, like, I really had to grow up when my mom died. Yeah. Like I was like, No, this is a whole new level of existence that I have to part of my heart is gone. And now I have to relearn how to live life without her. Yes. And that plays in I don't know if you found this. So in Judaism, we do something called Shiva. You live in New York. So you must know Jewish people? Of course, yes. Yeah, I have a lot of family there. Maybe they're even listening. Hi, Auntie Pam, Uncle Benny. And so it was COVID. And so we couldn't do Shiva. So it was me my grandma, sorry, not my grandma, me and my sister. Almost like my grandma, me and my sister, my aunt, uncle and two cousins, but people were still feeding us as if there was 50 or 40 people. And it was a it was great. Because like, well, first of all, like, I turned into a bagel, a Jewish hug must be a bagel, I turned into a bagel, but we got fed a lot, which was great. But what my sister and I noticed was like, Yeah, we had like a month's worth of food. But we needed support, like the entire year. Like, you know, there's right when it happens, and people feel so bad. It's like, you know, I, when I'm looking at my friends going through hard stuff, I want to check in on them. And three months later, like, what do they need? Because I know No, because I went back to back with losing parents. And it took me a full year, a full year to start feeling like a functioning member of society. And I needed that support. Like, I needed people to still check in on me, I needed like, my, you know, I needed to, like I ordered I couldn't even cook like I ordered food. And so I don't know if you notice this, but like, and I don't think it's to anyone's fault, but we don't think of it. You know, you got to check in on your friends who lost a parent a year ago or six months ago or lost anyone because grief doesn't just go away. Like life goes on but and grief stays there and it doesn't shrink. You just learn to layer life around it.

Yes, I totally agree. Because that's what I felt. I felt the day she passed, I got a lot of attention, oh, Allah texts. But after that, it was like silence. And because I'm out of town, or I saw other family members from from my personal point of view, I saw them being surrounded with support. And for me, and that's where my biggest frustration is people for got so quickly that I lost a family member. I was actually at dinner at a former friend's house, about a month after I lost my mom. And I have in a month a couple of weeks. And people started talking about this other acquaintance of ours who passed and then getting into all of this I'm seeing error and I'm like, yes, let's do parent, like what's wrong with you and even in something that I realized with my grave is that there are certain days where I need support. Mother's Day, I want to be in my house. Like I send cards to my sister. I sent all my girlfriends our mommies, like I take care of my girls, but on Mother's Day, I do a post from my mom. And I sit and watch out for movies because that's our favorite leading actor. Sorry, which Robert Redford movies, okay. Yeah, we just says that he was like my, he's one of my peers. So my mom's favorites like my I miss my mom. I pop in Robert Redford and the world is good. That's what's so beautiful.

I love that. You know, it's interesting. So my mom and I would watch shows like we're from we live in different parts. And I gave her access to my Netflix and I'm actually really upset that Netflix is changing their model because I'm scared I'm going to lose her account because I still have it set up. But we would watch shows together and Grace and Frankie was our show. And so now I know it ended but I refuse to watch the very last episode because I don't want it to end so I know what you mean like I think that's a beautiful way to honor her on Mother's Day and like probably her birthday you might do something

yeah cuz her birthday to you. I always watch her ever refer movie Her birthday is actually may 23 So Mays a big month and then I like I'm really into a million Geminis my god child is Gemini like, I just attract all the Gemini is and so her birthday, I always watch Robert Redford movie, and I always try to I do ask friends. I'm like, can we please go get a dessert. And this past year I actually went to I want my favorite bakery in East Village and the way or the server was so nice. He gave me a candle, and we sang happy birthday to my mom. And then on your death anniversary, which is November 6, like I do genuinely like to have dinner with someone. Unfortunately this year I had a falling out with a brand, which wasn't a pleasant, but it happens, unfortunately. But that's another day and I learned that the hard way because our first anniversary, I made a point to be positive. And I had dinner with a friend that night it was all great. Her second anniversary, I thought it'd be okay. And I wasn't I was by myself. I was trying to work. I was miserable. Like I blew a fuse in our like, our mailbox light thing. Like it was just a mess of a day. And after that I realized, Kristina, you're a grown woman, but you need to be honest with what you need. Like okay, Mother's Day. You're okay sitting home watching Robert for movies, okay, her birthday, you need the Robert Redford movie, a dessert with a friend her birthday. You need to actually be out somewhere celebrating because like otherwise, like I do get into these fonts. And you know, and it's like, I imagine you might experience something very similar, but it's always when I'm by myself. And it's always when like, I'm in my creative zone sometimes where I just start missing her or it's like around the holidays when I'm doing something fun. Because like we're, of course Italian Catholics like Christmas is our like, Haven like it's our it's like our example Olympics. And it's funny because I have a lot of Jewish friends and they just joke with me. They're like, Oh, it's your holiday. I'm like, but they all love my Christmas cookies. So like it's hysterical. send them

my way. I love cookies. Absolutely. Oh, my gosh, you got it. I think that's actually really valid. So my sister and I, because my dad passed away on February 18. And my mom February 23. So like, not even a year apart. So my sister and I have something called grief week. It's like spring break for sad people. And we're just about to have our first annual grief week where we rented a house in Palm Springs, because we decided because where we live us is cold. It's better to be warm and sad. And then cold and sad. And that we always our goal is to always be together and warm as long as we can travel. And you know, maybe it's not always renting a house in Palm Springs that that was just the last place we went with our mom and we love Palm Springs like I'm a golden girl at heart. But, you know, what we did was like so, you know, in between the sad days, we planned a trip to Disney for something really happy to do. But what you're saying is so important, because on those days, like I'm learning how to navigate that, like this year on my mom's birthday, I was traveling home from Mexico. I got up early to watch the sunrise for her. And I was like, oh, travel will distract me. But instead I just sat with my own thoughts. I was like, okay, that's not what I should do next year. And then Mother's Day. Yeah, Mother's Day, sort of like, I think I just kind of honor her. And I just like celebrate the mothers in my life and feels just a sad day for me. But yeah, like her, her Angel Versary like my sister and I are always going to be together. And like, unfortunately, last year, unfortunately, last year, it was like right after our dad died. So it was just there. I don't I don't I think we ended Shiva. And my sister and I, maybe she would if she was here, she would remember what we did. But, you know, we have to find our ways to honor our parents and like, I know that you probably still feel your mom and grandma or everyone around you. I feel that too. And I want to talk like we're coming to the end of the interview. And I feel like I could talk to you forever, especially because you have a lot of similarities. And like you're my new friend. You know, a couple questions before I like wrap it up, because we didn't really talk about your books. But ever since you've lost your Mom, do you find that like your relationship with her or anything that you know, through your life with her has inspired any of the books you put out?

All of them? All of them? We unfortunately, we didn't have a good communication, like the older I got, the higher our communication became like my mom's most people that survived on controlled environments. And I have no box. I'm her wild child. And I look like her. And so go figure you have this kid that looks like you acts like you has all your eyes a lot of your interest, but it's like, wild girl like loves to travel isn't the big city like does all this fun stuff. And we actually had a really in my early 30s We actually had a really bad bite. And she said something to me that was extremely painful. And it wasn't the first fight we have. But it was definitely the turning point. For me. It was one of those like bottom out moments. And I realized, I have a choice. And so I that's what got me into therapy and then my healing work and that's when I was physically injured and had a break from my career. I realized I can't keep living a double life and I realized why I was living a double life. And seeing that riff in communication and how it affected our relationship and how it prevented us from doing a lot of things. Inspired, inspired my mission. And it gave me the courage to take a step forward and be like I need to do this like I need to do that and the other beauty Have the healing process to is it? Is it Oh, as for me personally, it's opened my heart and mind. And she does send me signs constantly to let me know, Christina, I love you. And I'm sorry, I do love you. And so the funny thing, so I'll share a couple of signs, like if it's a good time. Um, so the three main signs she sent me letter there's, I just include four. So I'll include a story and there's like three of the signs. So when I was in Italy last summer was my third trip to Italy. I was thinking of her. So I was thinking, I go to Greece, and I'm thinking, Okay, this year, so I decided this year will be Greece, but something in my head kept bringing you check with Terry Chinko. Terry. And so I looked it up. I'm like, let me check with Terry and Florence and the first day in Florence, I'm wondering who the PAs are. And I, it suddenly hit me. I'm like, Oh, my God, mom. Mom kept her promise. Because she always told me, we would travel together. And when we're in other it never worked out and it was various things from her uninviting me on the trip or her anxiety was really bad. It was just a million different little things. And I'm walking through I'm like, Oh my God, she's here with me. And she was free of all these anxiety. So ever. Anyone has been in sync with Harry knows like, you're, you're on cliffs, you're swimming in rock waters. I mean, I loved it. I loved every moment of Florence with everyone with a chick with Terry, but she was with me all the way. Although when I went shopping, and I knew I can hear I can hear her voice certain that that was your grandmother, your grandmother, your grandmother went shopping with you like you're not me, because I'm not the shopper. But even aside from that trip, my sister was going through our mother's clothes. And she sent me a picture and said, yours are mine. It was my childhood, lovey. My mom had talked to my childhood lovey and her things and she hurt my first birthday without her. My mom had this tradition when we were little where she would come in and say happy birthday to you. And she was like a little dance thing and whatnot. And the first birthday I had without her. I was in church. And I was called the preset who has a Valentine's birthday and my birthday is February 15. And it was me and the man next to me, he was the 14th. And so we went onto the altar. He gave me a box of chocolates and then turned to the congregation said, you know, I think we could sing and the whole congregation of 100 plus people saying happy birthday to me and this man and I knew it was my mom. And then the other sign she sent me when I was going through her things. I was looking for this rosary so para Italy and Paris are my two favorite places in the world. Like I just love it. I go every year to both like i It's my Sadie and during one of my trips to Paris, it was actually my third trip to Paris. And I bought my mom a rosary from Notre Dom, notre Dom, so they're my favorite places in the world. I even now with it being under construction, I still always walk by like every time I'm there, I have to and as I was looking for it, and of course, the funny story isn't you'll appreciate this is. So when I got back to the States after that trip, I had it blessed by the preceptor of mass. And so Chris was sworn in, my mom opens up this rosary and gives me to look like it's blessed. Relax, I had it blessed. You know, it's such a Catholic thing to be like, holy water everywhere. And, and so when I was looking for it, I couldn't find it. And I asked my sister, I said, you know, I was looking for this rosary I gave mom I got in Paris, blah, blah, blah. And she said, can you describe it to me, I started describing it and she said, it was mom. When we were going through when she and our brother were going through her out that we she said we found it and we thought it was really beautiful. And we put it with her and I knew I knew it was mom. I know it was mom guiding her and I was just even more touched because not only was something I gave her it was something I gave her one of my favorite places in the world. And the fact that she's lying lying in her place. She's She's up above she has that rosary that I that I chose for her that I gave to her and so that's the beauty of the healing so with the books definitely and I Yeah, she definitely has inspired them and the irony was still Shirley Pasadena we're going over time.

Please share one last share my family share. I have two more questions for you so you can share and then we'll go we'll wrap it up.

Oh gotcha. Okay, I apologize. I didn't mean to like

okay, we have a safe space for you to do this just keep going right

thank you the other so one of our fights in this life was my mom was like a lifelong teacher very good at what she did love to love teaching very and I am not a teacher personality Amana box personality and that was one of our biggest fights and other family members and family friends with ganging up on me be like, Why isn't your mom Why aren't you a teacher? I'm like, I'm not a teacher. So with writing my books, I joke in my acknowledgments I say, you know, we My mom always want to be a teacher, but here I am writing it We'll start in which children's series, I think we reached a healthy compromise. So

oh my god, I love that. I mean, oh my gosh, sorry. I think I think that's a beautiful, beautiful way to honor your mother because you are a teacher and you're teaching in your own way. Yeah. So you're amazing. Where can people find you if they want to dive into your books? Or like, just be part of your world?

Oh, absolutely. So my website is www dot triple C, okay, l.com. I always have a pop up. freebie, I have a gift for your audience, I have a Valentine's coloring drawing, that I love to share coloring is a great, especially when we're going through our healing coloring is a great thing to do just to like release our energies and to be able to communicate more effectively with others. And I am on Instagram and Facebook and all those fun things. So I'll share all those links with you. And yeah, I'm excited for you guys see my books, and I do on Blogger as well. Alright, two different blogs. I just started a podcast as well, and the guest a lot of amazing things that I would love to share with you and your audience stuff. Yes. Okay, well, I'll

put all the links in the show notes, I invite you to Kristina's World. And Kristina, you know, this conversation was so beautiful on so many different levels. And I'm sure a lot of our listeners can relate to what it's like to lose a mom and probably found some parallels. And you know, for someone who maybe is going through it in the future, this could be a really beautiful resource for them. What advice do you have for someone who has just lost their mother?

I would say, you know, I always say take time for yourself. Listen to your heart and soul. I think something that I do in my healing process is I'm part of ACA, adult children of alcoholics. And I go to meetings weekly. And I recommend those kinds of meetings because you deals both your inner child and your critical parent. And I find grief. Our little kids and our critical parents tend to come out and not always in the prettiest of waste. And the other beauty. And I imagine there are grief meetings that are similar structures. The reason why I say ACA chair is because we have a very strong crosstalk policy, meaning that we don't give advice, we don't crosstalk on shares. And there's something really beautiful about being in a space like we are in right now. Where we can be very vulnerable, and share whatever we need to share. But we don't have people giving us advice. People are genuinely there listening. And so even if ACA isn't right for you, finding your way to group of people that will simply listen and not give up because I get when you talked about before before we start recording there is something about Yes, when people give advice, this is usually met from a place of love and generosity. But sometimes we really just need to listen to each other. And sometimes you need the quiet just to listen and have it in you create a space for me today, which I am so grateful for just a space for me to be vulnerable. And you listening to me and sharing. And it's funny because one of my closest friends is as Orthodox Jewish and I always joke because her kids kids call me auntie Kristina. And I always joke I'm the Italian, I'm from Queens, like, I was like the Gentile like the Gentile. But the reason why Moses and I are still having been friends since the very beginning is because of that space of openness, and that space of listening and relatability and, you know, same thing with my childhood, Brian, the I mentioned, you know, it's like, it's your my healing work, you know, and even performing healing work. I've been lucky that I've had people in my life that are open graves, I have people that give me advice, and I have to block that out and figure that out. It's not perfect, but that will be my biggest piece of guidance is finding your way into a group, whether it be ACA or a grief support group where it's designed for people to listen to you and for you to listen to them. And that crosstalk policy and I imagine other groups have it I just know ACA that's like because, like my that's my like solid, consistent healing healing rock that in my big red book. Yeah. And the crosstalk is like a game changer. That rule. I think it's amazing.

So yeah, find a space where you know, you have space to talk and I think that's beautiful advice. Bonus question reminds us of your mother's name. Linda, Linda,

Linda Linda Marie PISA was her maiden name I wish to call my father's name Andrews. So that's why I legally I'm an Andrews,

Belinda. Well, this is for Linda, you made her proud today. So I want to thank you so much for coming on radical resilience and sharing your story with

us. Thank you for having me. Pleasure to be here.

Your Welcome and thank you to everyone who tuned in for another episode. You know we do this every week Fridays we drop into your ears and share stories and advice and you know, we laugh, we cry and everything in between. We have opened applications for the global Resilience Project book number two, if you are wanting to share your story with our community in a printed book, you can go to the show notes, click the link, you can all go to the website the global resilience project.com And you can follow that process there. If you want to have a meeting with me and talk about it. We can we only have 125 spots available. But just remember it is okay to not be okay. Life is hard life is beautiful. It's challenging. Let us be the light at the end of the tunnel or the lighthouse in the storm. You got this my friends, you are resilient.