Episodes

We’re all going to get older, so why does our culture treat aging like one of the worst things that can happen to us and our desire? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by Wendy Strgar, founder of Good Clean Love, women’s health pioneer, author, and educator, for an unfiltered conversation about menopause, changing bodies, mismatched desire, and intimacy in long-term relationships. Through stories from r/Menopause and r/MenopauseShedFor...

Women told men to stop approaching them, but now they’re upset that men aren’t taking charge? So what are men even supposed to do?! 🫩 In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley dig into a post from r/DatingOver30 titled, “I Feel Gaslit by Modern Dating. Am I Completely Wrong?” And, yes... he kind of is. First things first, women changing their dating preferences isn’t what gaslighting is. Secondly, this sounds less like modern dating suddenly changed ...

Is the male loneliness epidemic a real thing, or just something the internet won’t stop talking about? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are getting right to the point: men are definitely lonely…but research suggests that they aren’t uniquely lonely. If women are just as likely to be lonely as men are, what’s the real predictor of loneliness? Money. Now that doesn’t mean there isn’t a gendered aspect to the problem. Along with ranting about t...

Are gold diggers actually lurking around every corner, just waiting to drain your bank account…or has dating advice on the internet convinced a whole bunch of men to fear a problem they most likely don’t have? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley read through a Reddit post on r/DatingAdvice that 100% violates the community guidelines and promises men “how to avoid gold diggers.” And the real kicker? The post is supposedly written by a woman… Between...

Would you pay over $60,000 to find a date? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell skip the Reddit disasters and get right to the source of modern dating…and why it sucks so much. Reading articles from The Cut, Wired, and the New York Times, they explore the problem with dating apps, why people are leaving them in droves, and how poor dating prospects are even affecting high-status, wealthy people. The only difference is that they’re turning to 5 and ...

If your partner starts talking to you in a different language the first time you get in bed together, what would your reaction be? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley get back to their Reddit-y roots with two stories that seem wildly different, but both boil down to the same thing: communication. First, they hear from a woman whose first time with her boyfriend did not go how she expected. They both speak Spanish, but he suddenly burst into Engl...

Have you heard about the infamous TikTok Voice Memo Guy? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell fill you in on all the details, some questionable twists, and their thoughts on how weird it is to schedule getting laid via voice memo. A few months ago, a guy sent a voice memo to a woman he’d gone on a date with, saying that if their second date wasn’t going to end with them in bed together, there was no point in going at all. His message points out a...

How do you react when people tell you things you wish you’d never heard? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by Evita Sawyers for a conversation about emotional responsibility, connection, desire, and what happens when people treat others like solutions instead of human beings. First, they wade through a toxic mess where a man learns that his married father is considering buying a house with a woman he’s only been seeing for four mont...

Have you ever set yourself up to get hurt, but you just couldn’t help yourself? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley are joined by the brilliant Jessica Daylover. Polyamorous since 2013, co-author of “Polyamory & Parenthood,” and founder of Remodeled Love and the Nuclear Fusion Network, Jessica brings all the insightful commentary on two poly relationship stories that…let’s just say aren’t exactly set up for success. First up, they hear from a wo...

Is it better to be in a relationship where you’re constantly contorting yourself to avoid saying “no,” or one where your partner can’t say “no” at all? Trick question. The answer is neither. In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by author, educator, and longtime member of Philadelphia’s polyamory community, Kevin Patterson. They read two stories that seem completely unrelated, but share the same uncomfortable truth: relationships stop b...

Could your biggest obstacle to dating success be the advice you’ve been following? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley endure the trenches of r/PurplePillDebate, a supposedly neutral subreddit where you somehow end up with advice like “Men, don’t talk to women.” Huh? According to one self-proclaimed 10, “ugly” men shouldn’t bother trying to talk to a woman in person because they simply have no chance. After all, if no one wants to swipe right on...

Is there a secret formula for healthy, conflict-free relationships? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley have an insightful yap session about why so many people approach dating and relationships like they’re trying to solve a logic puzzle, and why that often creates more frustration than it solves. From clients who expect their therapists to “fix them” to people who would do anything to avoid the friction that comes with being around other people...

Are some people just wired for jealousy, with no hope of changing, or is it actually the check engine light for your relationship? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell discuss Psychology with Dr. Ana’s YouTube video, “Turns Out Jealousy Isn’t Always a You Problem.” The video reveals research that suggests nearly 40% of jealousy may be driven by relationship dynamics rather than individual personality traits. Harris gets to dust off his English de...

Have you ever thought about how much saliva affects intimacy? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley are joined by Marcin (he/him), founder of Twinkle Tongue, a saliva enhancement product designed to support their body’s natural saliva production for a more satisfying and fun bedroom experience. Together, they discuss two Reddit posts, one from a woman whose headgame is literally dry, and someone else who’s really, really into spit and interested in...

Does a woman earning more than a man in a relationship make you feel some type of way? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley jump right into The Guardian’s article, “Single women are buying more houses. The men they are dating are not responding well,” and talk about what happens when women are no longer forced into needing men for financial security, and why some men are responding to that reality very, very badly. Along the way, Harris and Liz e...

We have a question for you: Do you actually want a partner, or are you just looking for someone to call your girlfriend? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell share two Reddit stories that reveal just how much the manosphere has poisoned modern dating, and the actual work it takes to build and maintain healthy, happy relationships. First up is a man who leaves his wife of 20 years for a 20-something, only to realize that putting zero work and effo...

What happens when people open a relationship without unpacking everything monogamy taught them first? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell sit down with Kristen VanKlootwyk, psychotherapist and co-creator of The Non Monogamy Card Game, to talk about the communication that doesn’t always happen in poly relationships…but really should. Then, they discuss two struggling Redditors: one man who’s struggling to find dates when his wife isn’t, and a woma...

Have you ever met someone with a punchable face…and even more punchable opinions? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell endure the pain of hearing from a man who claims celibacy taught him that he’s “too smart to find love,” and though he comes close, he never actually considers the problems might just be…him. Reading The Telegraph’s article from the man himself, Mattha Busby, they break down his actual problems in finding love (spoiler alert: it’...

There have been a lot of advancements in the adult toy industry over the last ten years, so why are toys for men and AMAB folks still stuck in the dark ages? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley are joined by Step (they/them), founder of the gender-explosive adult toy company, Cute Little Fkers, to talk about affirming adult toys for queer folks, why toys for AMAB folks have so much room to grow, and how creating more accessible toys is a good thi...

Looksmaxxing promises a simple solution: get hotter, get laid. So why are so many men following it…and still miserable? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell explore the ugly, uglier, and ugliest sides of the looksmaxxing incel communities that, unfortunately, are no longer niche corners on the internet. They break down the origins of the incel and looksmaxxing communities, why it’s gaining popularity, and how this line of thinking only leads to a ...

Is it still “support” if you’re trying to change how your partner expresses and explores their gender? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by the talented Rae Hill, a nonbinary advocate, educator, designer, and founder of Origami Customs. Together, they read two Reddit posts about gender exploration, fashion, attraction, and what it actually means to support your partner during a transition…spoiler: it’s not turning them into your per...

Has a TV show ever completely changed how you think about relationships? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) are talking about Heated Rivalry, the breakout HBO series that’s not only making waves with fans, but also with pro athletes who’ve found the courage to come out because of it. It’s even encouraging men to actually talk to each other. They break down the show from every angle: masculinity, emotional vulnerability, queer...

How detailed do you get in your dating app profile? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley kick things off with a look at r/AskWomenNoCensor, where a man asks women what they want. To no one’s surprise, men were quick to jump in with their opinions. Harris and Dr. Liz discuss the merits of listening to the people you want to date (because, surprise, surprise, there is no female hivemind), personalizing your dating profile, and showing a genuine inte...

Have you ever cared about the amount of someone’s…ahem…ejaculation? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell talk about the men who really, really care about shooting ropes like Spider-Man. That’s right. They’re talking about nutmaxxers. Fueled by the fantasies of porn and a desire for self-optimization, these men might say their “enhanced performance” is for their partners, but Dr. Liz and Harris have their doubts. Highlights of the episode: Porn “...