It’s not personal. It’s business.

Hello everyone, welcome to the You Unleash Podcast with Femme Akami, the podcast where we explore how to unleash your potential in the workplace, your hostil, and life in general with practical steps. Sometimes I used to chase from my past, and trust me, I have got some stories for you, and sometimes I'll just share stuff I've learned, and other times we get people who know a lot more than I do and we do to chop it all up. This is podcast number nine, and I'm kind of starting to get used to this. I'm liking it. I've become a believer that Don is better than perfect, so we had to get the show on the road, get better as you go along. Please do not forget to like the podcast and share with your friends on your WhatsApp groups and any other avenue you connect with your friends and leave feedback on the page. A lot of you have been great in giving me feedback. I truly appreciate it. With that said, let's get right into it. This week we'll be talking about making it strictly business. It's a mindset I want us to have, and that's what I want us to take away from this. It's strictly business. Basically, taking the business of succeeding in your career, your business, and life serious. It's not personal, and that's the um the kind of mindset I want you to take away from this is that in everything you do, it's not personal when you make your decisions, it's business, it's business. And the mentality kind of works like this: in the business of developing your career, you have to be serious about it, you have to be focused. So when anything tries to get in the way, you make strong decisions and then you feel bad about it, you make it clear it's not personal, it's business. Develop delivering on your objectives at work, in your business selling your products, in friends you hang out with, if you're a parent and you have kids, and how you manage your time, all of these things are actually very serious things, and you have to take a business-minded approach to it. With that said, I'd like to bring some context into this. Have you ever gone into a supermarket or an electronic store like Apple, for example, and then you look at the price of a phone or an Apple Watch and you try to ask them to reduce the price? Probably not, but if you did, they would probably politely say no. And some people would even be a bit more harsher and just tell you to get out of the store. This is a business mentality, it's serious for Apple. Either you like it or you don't. They have bills to pay, they have staff to pay, they have rent to pay, and they have huge profits to make. So they're not going to cut down on their price or compromise for you unless it's planned. And this is the same thing we need to take with our life to become the best you can be and remain committed to it. When you make decisions, it cannot be personal, it has to be business. And the business I'm talking about is the business of becoming the best you can be, the business of becoming the best you. This means that anything that wants to get in the way of you becoming the best you, you have to say you know politely. And if you're feeling guilty, the mindset to tell yourself is it's not personal, it's strictly business. So think about it this way. If you're a parent and you have kids, when your kids are doing things which are let's say wrong, you don't ever indulge them. What do you do? You think to yourself, I'm your parent here, and I know what's best for you. So follow parents' rules. If you're managing your time, you have to take it seriously. If anyone's wasting your time, you can't just let them get along with it, you have to kind of stop it and cut it there, and this is it. So this applies to even things you would consider pleasures. Let's think about it. Going on holidays, you work so hard and you need a break. Going on holiday is not personal, it's strictly business, the business of having a balanced life and maintaining your sanity. You have to go to the gym or try to stay healthy, and someone offers you highly calorific food. Saying no, it isn't personal, it's business, the business of staying alive long enough and living a quality life. You need work-life balance, and you're getting pressure to work long hours from your boss. Well, I'll make I'll leave you to make the call. But if you're interested in being there for your kids and living a healthy, mentally balanced life, it's not personal, boss. I leave at seven or I leave at six. The business of succeeding as a parent and at work is serious, and you're taking it serious. Look, I can relate to this, and I have strong feelings about it. There is a phrase I've grown, there is a phrase I've grown to hate whenever I was having a review session with my manager, and it always started with this Femi, you're a nice guy. And there was always a butt. Now, on the face of this, it sounds like a perfectly good compliment, and something most of us would like to have said about us. The problem with this statement I found was that there was always a bot after it. I get made redundant and they say you're a nice guy, but we have to let you go. I get given an average review in my annual review of my manager, and it starts with you're a nice guy, but we're not gonna bump up your pay. I had to sit down and unpack this statement, and I found that indeed I could be a nice guy, friendly in the workplace, always willing to help, always willing to let others have their say in my meeting, always willing to let others push back or challenge, but never willing to say no. Never willing to say this meeting has an objective and it needs to end on time. Never willing to tell others, wait, I need to make my point. And I had to reflect and understand that yes, I loved helping people. This is my passion. I love to chat, I loved to liven up the workplace, but it cannot be at the expense of the business of delivering for my employers and developing my career and becoming the best that I can be. So, what do I do now? If I'm in a meeting and the meeting has to work to time and someone is going off point, I very politely say, We can take this on later, but we need to finish this meeting. If someone's talking to me at the water cooler or comes to my desk and I have something to do and they're really nice, but I don't want to say no, I tell myself, look, this is not personal, it's business, and I tell them, excuse me, when I finish this, I'll come over to your desk to discuss it. The point is, in almost everything, you need to be strong about who you are and what you want to achieve in life, and when anything tries to get in the way, anything, you need to clearly say to yourself, it's not personal, it's business, and afterwardly you tell them, I'd love to, but no. So, how do we do this? Because that's the point. The theory I've shared with you is in all of this, the key point I've I've said here is there are many things that can come your way, but you need to be serious about who you want to be and what you want to achieve. And there's anything that's going to get in the way, you need to have a way of very carefully and politely declining so that you can focus on becoming the best you can be and being and delivering whatever it is you're required to deliver. So, how do we do this? Number one, you need to have a clear idea of what you want to be or who you want to become. If it's your career, you need to have a clear idea of what's required of you in that job, in that business. If it's in finance, you need to have some clear financial goals, clear health goals. You need to have a clear idea of what you want for your family, for yourself, what kind of friends you have, and you have to stay alive to whenever anyone or anything tries to stop you from achieving this. With that said, I'd like to share a short story here. There was a lady who was an ultra-high achiever. Everyone knew that if you had her in your team or on your board, you were likely to succeed. And one day someone came up to her and said, We'd love to have you on our board. We're doing some great things in the community, we're feeding the poor, we're giving them clothes, we're arranging for charities to contribute together and send them to school. And what did she do? She listened patiently, she understood it, and I would never forget what I noticed that she said. She said, That's an amazing idea. I really love the things you're trying to do, and I really hope it goes well. But unfortunately, on this occasion, I cannot be a part of it because I have a lot of other things that I've committed my time to. I would love to help in any way I can, but I cannot be part of it. And she was so nice with it, but so polite and so resolute in when she said her no. And I learned something from that. You can be nice and still say no, you can be focused on achieving your goals and objectives, and when something comes in the way that is a nice idea as well, you politely say no. And the same with you. Whenever something comes along, somebody wants you to invest in something that's not in line with your investment plans, somebody wants you to do something that's not in line with your health plans, your family plans, somebody wants you to take a do something in your career that's not in line with what you've planned for your career. Feel strong and resolute enough to say, it sounds like a great idea, but this is not for me. And if you're running a meeting, which is one of the big ones I know people struggle with, you're in a meeting and people start saying stuff and they're going off tangent, and it's your meeting, and you need to finish that meeting within a certain time. There's nothing wrong with you saying this sounds like all great stuff, but at this time, the objective of this meeting is to deliver this. So I'd like to bring us back to the meeting and we can deal with the rest of it separately. Don't respect you for it, which is the interesting thing. So, inwardly, learn to say to yourself, it's not personal, but I've got a lot to achieve. I need to achieve it. Outwardly, you politely say, I would love to, but I can't. And that's the message. Alright, listen, guys. This life is the only one we get. It's not a rehearsal, so let's live it. You cannot allow things to come in and knock you off course. You cannot allow people to distract you, you cannot allow your goodness to stop you from achieving your own goals. Your life, you seem to see your life as a business. You enterprises, you limited, and you your objective is to become the best you can be. There are a lot of good things that will struggle for your time, fight you for your time. There are a lot of good things that you would like to do, but you cannot do everything, and you need to focus on the business of becoming the best you can be. It's not personal, it's strictly a business. So don't be an extra your own life movie. Be you and just go out and nail it. Just go for it, backed up by knowing that you've put in the work. I hope you enjoyed this episode of You Unleashed, where we share ideas on how to rock it in the workplace and life. Don't forget to share and like our podcast with your friends and let us know what you think. Look, we're not where we are, where we want to be, but we're definitely not where we used to be. And remember, guys, it's not personal, it's business. Done is better than perfect, and episode 9 is done, and it's in the books. Get unleashed and stay unleashed and have a great week.