A special word for YOU and nobody else

Hi everyone, welcome to the You Unleash Podcast with Femi Akimi, the podcast where we explore how to unleash your potential in the workplace, your business, or whatever it is you do, your hustle, and life in general. And we use practical real-life steps. Sometimes I'll just use stories from my past, and trust me, I've got some nice stories for you. Sometimes I'll just share stuff I've learned, and other times we'll get people who we know a lot more than I do, get them into the studio and we chop it all up and we kind of break it down so you can take it away and start to get unleashed and stay unleashed. This is podcast six, so we are getting into a good rhythm. So I'm really looking forward to the feedback. Please share them on the usual platforms. We're now available on Spotify, Stitcher, Google, and Apple. I've become a believer that Don is better than perfect, so we just have to keep rocking and rolling and getting better as you go along. And please don't forget, share this with your friends. Because if you want to get unleashed, I'm sure you want them to get unleashed as well. You want them to get better just as you get better. And really, just the more you share, the more people know about it, and the more we just share this good thing. First and foremost, before we crack on, happy new year, guys. And I really hope this is a year that just brings peace above all, joy, because these are the things that matter, they matter a lot more than the other things. Peace, joy, good health, and um just you becoming unleashed and staying unleashed, whatever that means to you. New Year, and I've had some time to think a lot about the topic for this week. And the more I thought about it, I ended up with this new year, new plans, new goals, and to do this, we require a new mindset. So I ended up on this why it has to be you. Now, the new mindset thing is quite useful to understand because to become who you want to be, it means you probably don't want to be who you've been in the past. So, and to become this new person, you need to adopt new habits and a new mindset, and that's why it's critical to think differently this year so you get different results. After all, some people say doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results means you are you got it not very well in the head, is some people say, but anyway, we know this is a new year, we're all trying to change. So, why not you? Why it has to be you now. The more I think about it is because apart from why not you making power moves, achieving your goals, and getting the promotion, building the business, having a simply peaceful year, there's a bunch of other reasons which are not immediately apparent, they're not obvious. And these reasons are the reasons that make you unique and special, and the right person to be, and the right person to achieve those goals you want. What I'm saying is really is that goal, that vision, that promotion, that amazing thing you want to do this year. Stop doubting yourself because if not you, who else? The other people aren't any more different, they're not they haven't got two heads, they're not more special than you, they haven't got any skill you don't have. Anything that's learned, Brian Tracy has this wonderful saying he says, anything can be learned. Anything because nobody was born a doctor, nobody was born an engineer, nobody was born whatever they are, they learned it. So why can't you learn it? So why not you? The other foundational reason is that no matter where we want to go or whatever we want to achieve in life, you have to start from somewhere, and the place you are today is your launch pad. There's no point thinking about oh, you want to be this person or that person, you have to start where you are, don't mock the days of humble beginnings. You kind of have to start where you are, and then you take it from there. The reality is you can only use your acre of diamonds. Your acre of diamonds is the place you are standing today, and that is where you get to the next step. I use myself as a very good example. When I was in university, I had a part-time job. It was working in a bank in the call center, and amazingly, when I finished university, I applied for a job within the bank and got a job as an analyst. Now, a lot of my friends who probably had better, I say probably, they had better degrees than me. They could not get a job in job in a bank. But because I worked in the call center, I was within the bank, they loved that I had something, I had knowledge of the business, and I got the job. I say all this just to say that it's really about where you are that takes you to the next step. I want you to always think of your your career and your life as this. Your career and life is really just a series of chapters. Chapters in a book, in your book. Your life is a book or a movie, and you are the main actor, you are the enduring character. Your life chapter cannot be a chapter of your life if you are not in it. So you are in every chapter of your life, so it has to be you making the moves from one stage to the other, to the to the next stage. In essence, your life doesn't happen without you, and the life you certainly want cannot happen without you making moves. So the big thing is it has to be you because if not you, no one else is going to live your life, no one is going to make the move from the next one step to the next. About five, six years ago, when one of my contracts was about to come to an end, I worked as a contractor and it was going to come to an end, and they weren't going to renew it. So, in effect, I was being fired. And when I got to sit down with the lady I asked who was giving me the news, I asked a question, which is, what could I have done better, or what have I done wrong? And this is a question I always ask, and it's a question I encourage everyone to ask. You have to have the humility to ask people what you've done well and what you haven't. When I asked a question, and she said, Femi, you are clearly intelligent. Now, at this time, I'm thinking in my head, I'm clearly not intelligent enough for you to want to keep me, so thanks. And then the dreaded bot, because you know, when someone butters you up and they say something nice about you, there's always a butt coming. And she said, But in meetings and everywhere I've been with you, you always start a point, a great idea, a great point. But the moment someone challenges you, challenges you, you drop back. And one thing I've always done is asked the question, what can I do better? And I guess she gave me that feedback. And what she was saying was, you didn't command the room, you didn't own the situation, you didn't back yourself when it push came to show up on a point. Now I was much younger, I'm a bit older. Now I think I like to think I can push back a bit better then. I'm not perfect, and I can do a lot better, but that feedback hurts. And I came to realize that on some level I looked around the room in those meetings, in those days, and for a number of reasons, I didn't feel I belonged. It was a lack of confidence, I guess you could say. And after all, what I also realized is but I never feel this way with friends, so don't get me wrong, I'm not someone who shies away typically. And you may be like that around your friends, around your family, you're just confident, but in business dealings, in the office, or in things um formal and corporate, you just don't back yourself when the heat is on, which is what happened to me. And the reason why we don't tend to feel long is because number one, you don't think you're good enough to be there. A lot of the time you underestimate how much you know, how intelligent you are, and doubly you overestimate how much those people know. You're scared of being wrong, you're afraid you could lose your job by challenging them, etc. etc. And this mix of feelings amounts to someone who doesn't feel confident enough and can't back themselves in the moment. Basically, I didn't appreciate my own uniqueness, and that can happen to you. I'm sure it's happened to you or someone you know. You don't appreciate your own uniqueness, and at the last minute, you don't back yourself. Now I said all of that because when we look back in time over people who have achieved things from Obama to JFK to Mandela to Mohammed Ali, Oprah Winfield, Beyonce to Mother Teresa, Mother Teresa, they all come from different backgrounds, none of them are from the same background, so they were all unique and they were all yet very successful. So you don't need to be like anyone else, and you certainly need to embrace your own uniqueness to become successful. So, with that said, here's a couple of things I want you to remember for the week and for the rest of the year. Number one, sometimes they are not expecting you. The reason why they challenge you is because they're not expecting you, and sometimes the reason why you back down is because even you are not expecting yourself to be there. But guess what? This is the big thing. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, you are the one there. In that meeting, guess what? I'm the one here today. In this investment plan, in this goal, in whatever it is you're doing, you are the one there. And the thing you need to remember also is that there is no one that was born where you were born. So the family you were born to, went to the schools you went to, has the friends you went to, grew up in the locality you went to, or you grew up in. The life you have lived gives you a unique perspective on things that makes you special and different to everyone else. So everyone has their own uniqueness and specialty, and yours is yours. Yes, there'll be people from top schools, top families, but there are also people from the middle schools or from middle of society, and people from the bottom, people who are insanely intelligent, people who are great at relationships. There are people that are good at every different things because nobody can be good at everything. But the thing is, the world of work and the world of business needs all of us with our uniqueness and our peculiarities, including you. Because us together make this world a richer and better place, and you focusing on yourself and bringing your best to the table brings that diversity and extra flavor to the world. That means that you have to be appreciated and you need to appreciate yourself first before others appreciate you. So, my message is embrace your own uniqueness and own your voice and share your views and chase your goals. The reality is that wherever it is, that business deal or that company, the reality is they hired you or they wanted your business because of who you are. If they didn't want to, they wouldn't hire you. But the fact that they've hired you means you deserve to be there. You have a right to be there. The fact that you're in the room means you have something to offer, so offer your services with humility and also with the backdrop by a desire to master your craft and get better. You're there for a reason. Do not be an extra in your own movie and life, it has to be you making the move. Number two, it always has to be you because the other guys are not special than you. What they bring, really, we shortchange ourselves and we prevent ourselves from the ability to grow. We don't give ourselves an opportunity to grow. Eric Thomas, uh, the motivational speaker says this thing. He says, See and see everything as an opportunity, not an obligation. The moment you see everything as an opportunity, your world opens up because it's an opportunity to learn. Every morning I wake up when I'm going into work or I'm doing anything, I see it as another opportunity to grow and get better. It has to be you because by being you, you get better every day. The opportunity to test yourself and ultimately conquer your fears can only happen by doing. I always say done is better than perfect. So just do it, and you'll get better, you'll get better. You'll certainly be better the next time you do it. And in my case, I look back. If I'd stood up to those people who challenged me, I would have gotten used to it. And by now, I'll be a lot bolder and probably a lot further along in my career. So my message to you is embrace your specialness. You deserve to be there. Back yourself, take the risk, and you'll get better. Number three, we all have a story. Guess what? Every single person in the room has a story. We all have a family, we all have a race, you might be a minority, you might be wherever you're from. But what is important is that you believe and you tell yourself, and you have to remember that you matter. You deserve to be there, you deserve to chase that goal, you deserve to be wealthy, you deserve to be the best you can be, you deserve to make your point in that meeting room. You have just as much right to be there as anyone else. You deserve a slice of life, and nobody has a monopoly on life. Nobody, nobody owns this life, it's for all of us. So as long as you respect others and you don't try to cheat others, you love your neighbors, then let's rock with humility. I present my point. And you know what? If you need to just say, in my humble opinion, I think, then say it that way, but you deserve to be there now. In all of this, through all of this, you need to have to remember though, you genuinely need to have something to say, and that's the most important thing here. You have to have something important to say. Because if you don't bring value to the table, then you can't confidently communicate yourself. The reality is that the more you know, the more you study, the more you develop yourself, the more confident you are in your point. When you have absolute mastery of whatever it is you do, you're much more confident to communicate yourself. So you need to add value and bring something to the table. And this only comes from constant improvement, understanding where you fall short, and not being afraid to say, I don't know. If you don't know, then say with confidence, I don't know, I'll take it away and I'll come back to you. But go away, learn and come back even stronger. And you need to have a strategy, you need to have a plan with goals that you're working towards. The reality is that you can't give what you don't have. In these meetings and your engagement with people in chasing your goals, your visions, it has to be you. Why not you? But also, you can't give what you don't have. If you don't, if you haven't built something into you, if you haven't developed yourself, there is literally nothing for you to pour out to others. So you have to develop yourself, you have to do your homework. It's your duty, your responsibility to develop yourself and make sure you're loaded, and then you can be about your business. So those four points are critical, and here's your my big takeaway. I want you to do a little thing for me wherever you are listening to this. Quietly say to yourself, or if you're in an open field and scream out loud, say this after me. Why shouldn't it be me? No one can do me or be me like me. My history makes me who I am, and I come prepared. Why shouldn't it be me? So say that again. Why shouldn't it be me? No one can do me or be me like me. My history makes me who I am. I come prepared. Why shouldn't it be me? Listen, guys, this life is the only one we get. It's not a rehearsal, it's not, it's not, it's not a dry run. It is it's the one life, it's not a rehearsal, so let's live it. Don't be an extra in your own life, in your own life movie. Don't be an extra. There's no point, it's your life. You are the star, you're the producer, you're the director in your own movie. So be you and just go ahead and go for it backed up by knowing that you put in the work. Listen, I hope you enjoyed this episode of You Unleashed, where we share ideas and how to rock it in the workplace and life. Um, don't forget to share and like our podcast with your friends, family, and let us know what you think. Look, we're not where we want to be, but we are definitely better than what we used to be. And don't forget, done is better than perfect. Episode 6 is done, and it's in the books. Get unleashed and stay unleashed and have a blessed 2020. And see you next week, guys.