#32 Letting God Guide Your Life & Business, with Damon Willis

Gentlemen, welcome to the Be The Man podcast, man.

Life is good better than good.

It's fantastic.

Hope you're waking up every day.

Excited, wake energized in a live.

And if you're not, man, if something's off as something's hurting do what must be done to make those changes, if there's something in your life, you don't like change it.

Get the coaching, get the help, give the camaraderie, join the be the man master class and try She has a support the tools, the tactics, like whatever you have to do, if you got to make some new habits, you got to move your family.

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So that you genuinely wake up every day that your alarm clock becomes an opportunity clock and you're happy, you're awake, energized, excited filled with love and goodness and hope and gratitude man, life life, so good.

Even when it's challenging, it's still so so good today.

Fellas, my guest is a friend of mine, Damon Willis, just great guy.

Matt Damon long time ago, when he owned a martial arts gym and he is a husband and a father, and a disciple, and a good man, and he's a world-class salesmen.

He works with his brother Ethan and the, two of them work closely with Brendon burchard.

And another, you know, it's a big names of great people and and he just has a lot to share here about being a great husband and a great father and a great man and a great leader and helping and serving and making a difference.

And and all the so you're going to love this.

And there's, there's an amazing spiritual approach to everything in life and it's interesting how well sometimes will forget that, right?

And we're all Spiritual Beings and That doesn't always get addressed, right?

That's that's the first part of the triple Trifecta.

You guys know that if you've been listening the triple Trifecta for success as a man, the first one is Fitness but as Fitness in mind, body and spirit and man, that's just a critical component to being a whole man, but I know you're going to, you're going to love, Damon your love, this this episode and get a lot from.

If you can take some notes capture things.

And as always look for something that you can walk Away with today, some kind of take away that you can take action on a shift either in mind, body and spirit or something and your family or your finances, whatever it is like yep.

That needs to happen to start taking action on it because we can totally transform our lives a lot quicker.

Than we usually think.

And it can often have far more dramatic effects than we usually think.

So, let's dive in.

I know you're going to enjoy this episode.

Damon, welcome, man.

So glad to have you on the show and hear from you.

I know I only know bits and pieces of your story.

So I want to hear the other part and and just put gentlemen before we hit the recording.

We were already diving into all kinds of cool topics that I hope we can Circle back to and so many great insights.

So I'm really looking forward to this.

So thanks for being here, brother.

Why don't you start I by telling us kind of giving us a little bit of background from your story and where you where you are.

We're for sure.

I'm trying to figure out, like, where would I start?

But I'm super excited to be here with you.

Greg like I again, I really, I really appreciate and think what you're doing is timely riotous ads as men, but they just figured out is, you know, meant manners asking, like, do I have what it takes?

And yes, can't Can I be successful?

You know, and I think that's its problem to understand that, but I think what you're talking about is significant and I think there's a difference between success and significant successes, like, winning the game, right?

Or accomplishing the thing or and that's where you're like, oh, I'm successful, right?

Oh, I had it take to accomplish that but the significance.

Peace is when we do something more from Anna Legacy.

It's kind of like the contribution piece where you transfer, you give, you you pass on this.

So, it's more than just like the filling inside of, like, answering that question, where it's this, this transfer of knowledge and extend its really just role modeling more than anything and living a life and so I really appreciate that.

I mean, that's I'm sure you, you know, that.

But I mean that's really what you want for your listeners and you want them to live a life of significance and we can have both some people are on the thing where they're just trying to be successful, right?

And then it's empty, right?

Because they accomplish that thing or they get over that mountain or I get that promotion or they get right.

But but then usually there's something that's some collateral damage that happens because it's so kind of myopic in a way of like let me just accomplish this thing and then I'll be happy with.

It's like doesn't work that way, right?

Has to do something with you think that fulfills Us and how we're all connected in that way.

Right.

So like it has to run parallel.

Yeah interconnected right.

Yeah spot on your ticket.

Yeah so well.

Alright so thanks so I'll just I guess I just feel like I'll share Time that I got kicked out of my house.

And my mom, basically, put all my stuff in a trash bag.

My father passed away from colon cancer, a couple years earlier, and just I'll just say it wasn't that I wasn't a good, a good son, I was kind of lost of what I wanted in my in my life.

Had an awesome family support but he's trying to figure out life and I remember Being in my in my car after I ran out of friends couches.

Like I can stay on.

I did that.

We're gonna have a lot of similarities that lived in a truck for a while.

Got a Mitsubishi Mirage that I bought for $500?

And anyways, I lived out of that for a couple weeks and I'll just kind of fast forward a little bit where I decided one day, I'll just say that I was.

I was the, Can who I was hanging out with it, we're just not.

Not a good good good situation.

Making bad choices even though inside I knew I was making them but I didn't I just didn't really have a focal point or real, real purpose and huge.

Everything right, is everything.

And so I just remember walking away from all my friends.

I had this Brazilian girlfriend at the time that I've been in for quite some time and and all my friends that I grew up X walked away and and everything I was doing.

I stopped everything cold turkey and really had this, this really cool experience and and I never went back in regards to those things, but a couple months earlier, I had been invited by a friend of mine.

His name is Rich.

He's probably like 10 or 15 years older than me, but he had this Construction Company.

And he did a lot of like tiles and those type of things.

This is, you know, it was in California and I remember him inviting me to go to Palo Alto and go basically.

There was things like 30 homes that we were doing all the tile work.

So the the kitchen, the bathrooms and basically invited me to go with him and he's also guy wasn't the best influence on me either.

And So at that time, I said, hey I want to get out of the house when you get out of here for a little bit.

And so we went there and I'll just share, something is real personal with you when I was there, you know, we'd get up at 5:00 in the morning, head over to the site, you know, do work for usually go till about 3:00 or so.

And then we go back to the hotel and go do whatever.

We're going to do before.

We stayed up, kind of late in the need my back asleep and kind of doing that that unsustainable.

Exactly.

And 230 big, dude, he was a Gold Glove boxer in the military and just this through the professional Gambler, early in his life.

We found out that I actually had to from one marriage.

I have a half, sister, and brother, and then we found out after my dad passed away that.

I, we had another brother lion in the UK who called us, looking for my dad and we're like, can you miss them?

You being passed away.

And so now, we're in correspondence with him.

But anyway, so back to being at Palo Alto and I remember one night, this, what about a year after my dad?

Passed away.

I had this dream and it was like, just like this, like it was real, right?

It was, it was real.

And I remember where I was in my sitting in a chair in her house in South pass.

That we didn't know and live there anymore, the time.

But it was just like it was back when we all lived there.

My dad came in the door and remember the 80s middle management.

So we had like that when, you know the caller but like short and the tie and and came in with a briefcase that looked all batter and I'm like, Dad, where were you been?

He's like, I was just got got stuck at, you know, over at this place.

And he's like, man took me forever to get here but I'm here.

And and I tried to get emotional right here but he walked into we start talking and I remember of him we're just talking about I don't remember exact more frivolous things like more like you know I was still like because I knew he was he was gone but same time a dream.

It seems he was there right?

But I remember us talking about a few different things and then very like came up and like grabbed my face, like like really close, can't really duplicate On this thing.

But and just look at me like naming.

You need to change your life.

And I remember kind of sad, but took about another year before I got myself together.

I remember I woke up and I was crying.

I was, you know like oh my gosh.

Yeah.

But that was really for me that participate if you will to where I was like, all right, I have to have to do something different, right?

And I know it, my dad believed in a kind of his wild past and how he had changed all that stuff.

And you know, him a father of seven kids and you know, put so much of a lot of pain and suffering that you went through from an alcoholic father and all those other stuff when he was young, so from that point fast forward to where I decided to really just get my life together, like I said, so I walked away from all my friends book of the but girlfriend and just walked away from everything and because of that decision, I actually got introduced to my wife, Diane and So I started going to church and I was really good friends with, with Diane's older, sister and younger sister.

So Sandy, and Susan.

You and let you know, just more friends, right?

It's like there's wasn't like a connection.

Then I found out that they had a sister that was in Florida.

And then she came back and I met her for the first time and did I don't believe in love at first sight.

Right.

I should say, I didn't then but that something just told me like that's, that's Wife and I had a yeah like I completely different plans, completely different plans.

And actually, that was that was that was a single word I was in with your brother, which out very cool.

Yeah, yeah.

So anyway, the guys in such a stud but anyway, and you know, I don't feel different plan and from there, I, you know, things kind of happen naturally and, you know, getting a married and that's when I was going to ask you.

If you please remind me of, I love to hear is what was Your proposal.

When you asked your wife to marry you, I want to, I don't know.

I was love to hear those stories, so maybe we'll get to that.

But from there, I went to, I went to, I moved to Utah and went to LDS business college and there's a whole another cool story how that even happened.

So I just a side note, I actually got kicked out of high school and I'm getting my GED.

And so with the LDS business college and started working with my, my brother Ethan.

And so from there, I just needed something that I could be really flexible at the same time, I can get through school and a long story short, you know, short working with all these experts in doing, you know, high end back end.

No coaching for these experts.

And I just, I fell in I love with that ended up dropping out of college.

Like, I had like a long story short I got I went through Ellis business cause I was like, a couple credits short already had.

Got accepted to BYU family housing, all that stuff, I to kids at that point, then we can say Le and anyway from their turned into, I've been doing this for 22 years, close to a, you know, a close to a billion dollars.

I was in back in coaching revenue between me and my teams and so I don't know what part we want that we want.

That's what was coming up.

But what's really cool, I guess worth emphasizing?

Here is, when you kind of you drew a line in the sand of like, you know, know it stops right here.

I'm gonna make a change and then I found in my life and people I worked with and I'm sure you've seen it too, is like, when you when you decide to do something meaningful, Able to choose a noble, a more meaningful.

Target something that's significant in matters.

And you start making changes from the inside out.

Thanks, just are happening.

You start meeting the people including your wife.

Yeah, my wife, right?

And then, then you start opportunity, start popping up and you're just, you're chasing your chasing something great.

And then, this the Serendipity.

I like to call it or Divine coincidence, whatever you're facing something good, and something amazing is right there.

And if you're ready for it and you're willing, you just you get into these opportunities and literally the sky's the limit, right?

And, and you start down that path there.

And well, man, there's so much there's generational change and making this whole shift, right?

And now you've been in this career for over 20 years and just to because you snuck right past that because the year you're a humble guy, but almost a billion dollars, Hours in back, in sales with your team.

That's that's amazing, right?

And and you've been able to meet and work with some some just superb human beings.

Yeah it's just yeah it's cool.

Thank you what What drove, you?

Because because a lot of guys, I went through a similar Journey, right?

And I can tell, by the way you're smiling, like yeah, you're like, go there done that.

Yeah, you're asking about Rachel, and, and our proposal The day after I met Rachel and it was a it was like a blind date for her.

I'd seen her and got her phone number from a friend.

And the day after met her, her dad got diagnosed with diverticulitis and then a few days later colon cancer and he ended up passing away shortly after we were married.

But that was a driving force for our marriage and we kind of moved up our wedding date because we wanted to be married.

So he could be there.

And so it was our whole dating and engagement was with her.

Father, you know, slowly dying right before our eyes, which was meaningful and special and significant.

And it was this Catalyst for us to really live life because it was so fragile.

He passed away when he was 47, way too young, no way too young, right?

And so we were just like, okay man, it was like we were starting our life together with him leaving this life and we're okay, it was a catalyst, right?

For meaning and significance and likewise met his stuff count.

And so I say my what I went through Journey like you but but I want to know like what what were those driving forces and what still drives you now?

Yeah, great question.

You know, I I'm so sorry to hear about your your wife dad because I think that's one thing is having empathy for in like hard things, right?

Robin Sharma has it's really good saying say he says that change is hard messy in the middle and beautiful in the end.

You know?

I mean I think that's Anyway just having that kind of experience like I said, it sets the frame and the tone of we're all going to go that way.

How do we honor By that that person's life, how did they see me, what do they want for me?

You know, so I would say the thing that, you know, so much of it I think comes down to.

I think it's really connecting into something beyond beyond yourself, right?

And something like tapping into a power for me to be Jesus Christ and, you know, God and knowing that there's just There's so much more potential for you and like following that.

So it's kind of an interesting mix because it's not so much like, okay, I'm deciding to do this, it's more like, I feel pulled to do something and it's more.

Like, okay, how do I make that that happened?

You know today, not tomorrow, but today and so there's a lot of relaxed urgency I would say to.

So I'm just more of a person.

Like I like I feel it and then when I No, it's the right thing to do.

Then I'm like all about it.

Like you said, it's you have to be, you have to be all in meaning that there's like no plan B.

It's like that's, that's what I'm doing, you know?

I remember moving back to Utah to go to school and then you know, I'll figure out how to, you know, figure everything else.

And one of my favorite quotes from part of the king, he says Mark Martin Luther King says that Faith isn't seeing the whole staircase seeing the next to stairs and taking it, right?

And ultimately it's in the in the action that we take.

More things come in our vision, right?

So I think to answer your question, so much of it is, what am I meant to do?

What do I need to do?

And aligning with what I want to do in life, just bring all those things together to we're just more.

I'd say more trusting it that there's something greater on the other side.

And it's not necessarily the destination.

As we know, it's just like, who are you becoming and who, you know what skills, our capabilities, our These, do you need to understand, I've been very fortunate to be surrounded by just amazing individual say.

One of them is my younger brother Ethan.

I mean, I've learned so much from from him not only how to have like a humble power, but to do things are completely outside of, I'd say realm of, you know, possibilities of what you can do when, you know, it's the right thing for you to do and just going off to become that person every day.

I'm going after that thing.

And he's one of those people that I think does the right thing for the right reasons, and is very strategic and calculated, and just just basically just through his actions and what he does, and who he surrounds himself with what he creates, just as kind of a testament of where his heart really is.

And we're all the oldest a like the world.

Big things are.

Lately, secondary, you know, they show up because you doing all the things right in that way, but it's really like that say this, reverence, and that's not what he's after the money in and of itself, right?

Its Legacy.

Those are like positive results and outcomes of starting from the right base.

Like having your heart in the right place and moving forward and then the results come where it seems.

It seems so subtle.

And yet, so significant that if you chase the one, if you chase the Old.

Sometimes you can miss the most important part but if you, if you pursue things in the right place, the results come?

Yeah, it's motive, right?

It's like what are you doing this for?

Is it first from for we all have our basic needs that.

We're trying to meet those type of things.

But I think there's also this piece of like are you doing this?

Because you want somebody outside of yourself to say, good job.

You want them to clap for you, you place for you or you doing it because inside you you're connected with this power.

Hi.

A power like oh I want to do what I feel is the right thing to do and not going after that like the the money or the wealth is not the first thing that you're after.

That's what, what you want, right?

It's way beyond that, that comes great, you know, and which is interesting when you when you bring value.

It's like you will be compensated and it's you know, there's just no way around it and so but again it's like the real.

Why are you doing that?

You're doing that because, you know, that's something you're called to do, you know?

That's the right thing for you to do.

Like you said it also just the whole piece of striving for a significance and actually want to share something with you.

That this is back in 2002.

That I just I just wrote this.

I have a little bookmark.

You can't see because of the the blurriness but I was in a church meeting and is one of those meetings where you just you know, whatever you feel, you go up there and you share how you feel and I've been working on just a little bit of a like a kind of a mission statement or something to guide me or no to really Center me and my purpose.

And I was rude to you says this day, will only come and go once and is another step closer to returning to Heavenly Father and make it a day of progression diligence and Remembrance to being a true disciple of Jesus Christ and action thought, indeed, if you do this, you will have favor and direction from God which will lead to eternal life.

And this is the whole purpose of Earth life.

All right?

And what's cool about the story is that I just, I just shared that and a couple weeks later this, this woman, I know last name is McIntyre again.

This is back in 2002, but she actually presented this to me.

She made the little book more I live.

So, so what I said, she actually had written down.

And she said it.

She she's like, she's like, and I took that in wrote it out but then I wrote my own and anyway, so This woman back tire, she actually passed away.

I'd say six months after that from cancer, no way.

And so I still have this this bookmark, it actually have it on my mirror in my bathroom.

I got a bunch of mirrors but I have a right there next to the picture of my family and my, my, you know, people that and that means a lot to me about have this right here.

So I always look at that and read that.

Which is huge because it's keeping it.

I love that story because it's setting a focus and then keeping your eyes on that.

It's I think a lot of men will go through and they'll pick some kind of mission or some kind of some kind of core value.

The man, it's so easy in the busyness of life and all the stuff we have going on is so easy to forget about it even even for time periods.

And so, to keep it right in front of you, Somehow some system.

Some way setting, an alarm on your phone, putting on your mirror rewriting.

Your highest values each morning for me, I have what I call My Philosophy Journal.

I took a life, I just leather journal and I just over the years, I've come across quotes or poems or ideas or scriptures and like yeah.

That's this is my Constitution.

This is how I want to direct my life and rereading this and revisiting it.

So that constantly in front of you like no this is this is Who I am.

This is how I show up in the world.

This is why I do what I do and so then have it keeps you?

It's, I don't know.

The one thing I love to teach my guys is like it's so hard to get lost if you check in with a map every morning.

Yes.

Yeah.

Right.

You know.

I love that the the map, right?

Because it's a compass.

It's a map.

It's a watch.

Right?

All those things.

And you have to keep bringing it back to like what are you about?

Again writing it down or just met?

Being that a focal point and recalibrating like, we know like an airplane right?

Is that if if you're always readjusting, right?

But if you're off, you know, 1% and you go far enough, you're going to be, you know, hundreds and thousands of miles away from your destination, right?

And something you said earlier, just about Divine, you know, coincidence, those type of things is there's a there's a thing I don't think of who said it, but I love it.

It's Because that coincidence is God's way.

Of being anonymous, right?

And some people think, you know, it's a coincidence, right?

What happened?

But I mean if you put God back in there, it's like no.

But we have to pay attention, right?

And we have to kind of Honor, whatever that is that we feel that we need to do.

And, you know, it's not by accident that repetition is the mother of all learning, right?

And and it's this thing of going back to this, this singular, focus of what am I about recalibrating and then you know, acting it out Greg, I'll tell you like that practice that you have, you are more likely to match that destination with your words and your actions.

The best you can that day.

And we know we fall off the horse, we get back, we just become real resilient because that is that.

Oh, man, I'm kind of off, Pat, you know, path or forgive, you know, ask people for forgiveness.

Yeah.

You know, we're not perfect and, you know, so much of when we go off base or we're outside of our values.

And morals, we need to apologize, right?

But also I think it's men that that's another piece of just this this this humility own it, right?

I when I got married the best advice and it was like brain tattooed when it happened but the person that Officiated and legally married.

Me and my wife was, they said three things.

He said, I got to say it's amazing that you remember because on my wedding day.

Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's so much.

Where is it was a blurry?

I'm saying that's how slow down and it was, but I was just like, what is going on?

And I'm like, super excited, but scared to death, that is not 50/50.

Is try to give a hundred percent.

Always be the first to apologize.

Wow, right.

As men like no, they need to apologize to me know that you're right?

It's like, will fall into that, right?

And third is never go to bed upset with other person.

All right, and I'll just be really, really, really candid.

Is that there's things I apologize for.

I got I have no idea why I apologized for it, right?

Like, I don't know what happened but it starts it starts the openness.

Yes.

Game Changer, right?

Yeah, yeah, so so beautiful.

So I want to I want to Circle back.

That is I'm hearing your story.

There's two things that keep coming to mind that that maybe listeners were asking to.

And one of them, we you and I started talking about before we hit recording, is this?

This idea?

Of believing in yourself.

How do you, how do you, how do you get to that spot?

Because there's a lot, there's a lot of self-doubt.

It's almost just kind of comes with the, with the package.

And man, I was there.

Like there was these times, I didn't believe in myself at all.

In fact, I had very fixed mindsets of like, I'll always be poor.

Always be lonely, always be broke.

I like, who am I?

Like?

I mean, I was at a low spot in my teens, especially, when I He's out of my own.

I'm like, I got just genuinely believed, I'm nobody right?

And then of course, there's still some of that.

Hey, I'm nobody and this humility aspect but then there's a piece of like you have to start believing and you mentioned earlier like, well I'll figure this out, I'll make this happen, right?

But this comes with this belief and it's interesting is all the good men I get to work with one of the things that comes up most often is that the greatest limiting factor I see in men is their own limiting beliefs about them.

And so I'm curious how you went like your stories just amazing in this transformation.

How did you get in your early 20s to be like, no, I got this.

I could ask, you know, it's interesting.

I think whenever we have these absolute thinking like we got to be really careful with that right and kind of deconstruct.

Where's that coming from?

And I'm sure just like you.

It came from your environment in regards to how you're showing up in your day-to-day.

I think so much of this piece of like As knowing that were not being fully honest or doing what we know we're capable of doing.

So, I think to answer the question, the big thing is, Is really matching that, you know like say okay you have to basically acting to find some that right and basically say, okay, so what's the opposite of that?

Who do I need to become, what do I need?

So I think so much of it is actually just going to say attributes.

All right, and characteristics of that outcome that we want, right?

And there's this really good book from as a Navy SEAL and I can't think of his name but resilience or if you've ever read that book super good, but the biggest takeaway I have from that was he said most people start from a place of how do I feel, right?

So I feel worthless.

I feel lost.

I felt right?

And that drives their actions and then that gives them their identity and he says Flip that, right?

So I think to answer your question is, what is your real identity?

Who are you really, what are you capable of doing?

Not your current limitations, not your current situation, what do you want to be?

And have but go back to that, right?

And then go back to what's the characteristics?

What's the?

What's the actions that that person takes, right?

Because this is what I just called the trifecta to thrive.

Right.

It's like it's those three things.

You have to think, you have to feel, and you have to act it out.

That's when we know it's true until those three things happen.

We don't believe it, it's not real to us, right?

So as this, that author is saying, is that you start from your identity, who are you really that drives like higher elevated police can actions and then that gives you feelings so the other way around so we don't start with, how do we feel Right.

And that's my feelings are so important.

And any time that I feel less I'll tell you.

I still deal with that stuff because I'm sure you do too.

Anyone that's like keep trying to move upward and onward, right?

And I just called the rose own right?

Does not come from the gross cylinders know from the covers own thing is that piece of connecting to who you who you want to be.

And there's always going to be that that self-doubt.

So then it's a matter of like, okay.

How do I prove that wrong?

What's the opposite of that?

What can I think feel and do?

Today that will prove what I want to be my reality and bring in what you said earlier.

Bring you in alignment with, with maybe you could call it your highest self or your best self.

Perfect.

Yeah.

I love that.

And when you're under it, right, it just tears us to be especially as men, if we know, we're performing below what we're capable of man and just tears.

And one thing I like to say is like, it's really difficult if not impossible to like yourself when you're doing unlikable things. 100% if you're a right are subpar is tearing you up and so and you know when you're you got it and you're you you know it yeah yeah yeah.

Tell everyone how great you are but you know it feels just shifted that I love it.

Just do the opposite.

Like okay, who do I want to be and that caliber of a man, what does he do?

Where is attributes.

What is characteristics?

Yeah, let's let's align with that and then Mozart.

Shift everything.

Yeah, so can I can I ask you is I'd love to get it for you when you're at that lowest point what were some things or who you around that made that shift where you're like?

Okay I can trust myself oh I knew I have a bigger purpose or you know I'm not going to the rest of my life just really chat.

I think Talent even if it's just a little bit, right?

Just challenge that limited belief, right?

Or that absolute Ruin, right?

I'm like, I'm nothing and I'm going to be here forever.

What, who are you?

Who just ran herself with that cold?

When your steps that, that's, that's a great question.

And it was, it was an interesting Journey for me because man, I wish I was so shy.

I was so timid, like, I couldn't, I couldn't talk to people, I couldn't look people in the eye, like I had no friends and when I was out of my life, no family.

No friends.

I was always like toes and I could see people from a distance.

I'm like, it looks like success.

Happiness is possible dye, see that family walking by a, that looks real, but I didn't have any real tangible up close examples early on.

But fortunately, man.

I loved reading.

And I got my hands on the hiding place by Corrie ten.

Boom.

Right.

And their experience in concentration camps that just blew my mind.

Like they became a mentors.

Where were her sister Betsy was literally having compassion and forgiveness for the Nazi guards and pray.

Paying for their loud.

And I'm like, what I wanted to beat that guy.

That looked at me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The bad neighborhood here.

She's asking for forgiveness for them and and they're going out of it.

And then somehow I got my hands on man's search for meaning.

Somebody gave me a copy because I needed it.

Desperately, somebody gave me a copy of how to win friends and influence people and so my mentors, my coaches, my my people that were give me this idea.

We're out of books and I read these real-life stories.

I'm like wait a minute.

It.

I can do this.

Yeah, I can figure this out.

They went through way harder things that I'm going through.

There's something here.

And yeah, that was the spark, that's what started.

Yeah, hope.

And and ambition and aspiration like no, I can I can grow out of this first-person perspective, right?

If you know, also.

So Dale Carnegie was with someone off of that.

You mentioned and also Viktor Frankl.

And you know, like it's it's interesting is that When you read some of your like my situation in the car or whatever you know living it's like I'm not in a concentration camp, exactly.

Look at the way that they're think you know the way that they think I'm a they are praying for the guards.

Were you like, you know, like I was thinking like I wouldn't last very long.

Yeah.

Right.

Because I'm like, no, that's not happening right here.

Like there's no way that guy's tell me what to do or, you know, you You know, the whole thing of finding perspective and purpose to other people, that's what Jim Rohn, sides are all leaders are readers.

I think that's, it's super powerful.

Is that your input rights are shaping your output right where you're like, okay this person did that and then it leads to some but I mean but you taking the time and so that's something goes back to is we need a role model, other people, and less, we're reading or surround yourself with people.

'Well, environment very important, the environment will shape you like it is.

This one thing I tell my my kids is you know it's like if you can't change your environment, you can't create a positive impact, you have to, you have to leave that environment, because you will become a product of that over time right now.

So, strong environments going to be a weak person, right.

And even a strong person just a an exact, right?

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

That's what you got to know is like, okay, I'm in the wrong room or I'm in the wrong place and I know You, I mean, you always put yourself or try to put yourself in rooms where you can learn and you're, you're uncomfortable in a way for a thirst of like, being better at who you are and see what other people are doing.

Right, what happened?

So anyway that's that's awesome.

I got a laugh a little bit here because I tell my wife so I take I do Krav Maga every week and the guys I trained with.

He literally just became a grand master in July.

That means why he's a three Time world champion if he is amazing, it just humbles a great guy.

And then the guys he trains are their SWAT team leaders here in Atlanta.

So I trained with these guys and I tell my wife I'm like okay, every Tuesday and Thursday, I go out for my serving, a humble pie, like I do yeah you get feeling tough even the slightest bit of, you know, I'm pretty tough guy and they just this like they just toy with me like a cat and mouse.

I'm like, come on.

But it's just a beautiful perspective and change is surrounding yourself with people.

So much better than you and learning and growing and keep that perspective and leveling up and beautiful thing which really interesting.

Okay, no, no fur.

Well, I was gonna say that's what one of our connections early on was like, what?

15 years ago you guys do you own the martial arts?

Yeah yeah.

Yeah, it was kickboxing.

And so, you know, it's interesting is that is I really love Krav.

Maga Krav Maga.

I've actually have a buddy of mine who is an instructor and has his own.

His own place that he teaches out of.

But it's that is real Israeli, you know, it's all about like you know, just an empty hands, but also gun knife, you know, club and stuff like that.

I mean is really if you want a model of like somebody who is Sovereign and like knows what the heck, they're doing small But Mighty and like, do they're just that you don't want to mess with Indra anyway.

So similar, is that again, I've done Thai boxing for a long time master.

He was my train with, I trained with a guy named Tom belt back in California who was full certified in.

You can do under Richard bustillo who was one of Bruce Lee's?

I've got a trading with Dan Lee and actually got invited to his backyard group?

Damn, he's one of the original guys, from Bruce Lee's group and everything.

So anyway, that kind of think the said the whole thing of that, huh?

Humble Pie, you know, there's any time that I get my butt kicked.

You know, it's always cool because you go back to the principles like oh, if I learned that I can do that, somebody else.

Yeah, right.

And the more again, these for me, the more humble I become of like, wow, there's like this becomes this.

That's humble confidence where it's like when you're younger, right?

It's like, you almost had to fight because you had to prove something, right?

And if we're honest, we probably didn't know what we're doing.

Then it was more of a getting a hothead and I gotta prove to everyone else.

I'll cut by am right for when you learn this and you get and you gain the skill.

You know, you can do to somebody else but you also know what someone possibly can do to you.

So you have like this more this reverence of disrespect but also there's this confidence that you have something.

Something is don't have time to explain this to you, but maybe another time we can talk about this situation.

I had recently where Got super confrontational and kind of what happened.

We had to fuse it up so maybe we can do it at a different time but I guess just point that out.

It's relevant, it's so relevant.

There, there are times when you need, you need to have put the time in, whatever it is mentally emotionally, physically, right, to protect to provide whatever it is.

There's going to be test.

There's going to be opportunities.

Yeah.

I think the relevance matters so much and I don't know.

I don't know where you stand.

I just I've seen the light.

Is too short, and there's too many great things to do to be wasting.

Our time is entertaining ourselves to death.

I mean, yeah, we've got to be learning and grown and making the most of ourselves, you know, also the people that are that are struggling with that it's you're getting a payoff.

The reason we do that right is because there's there's a payoff is that you're getting the dopamine, you're getting the right and why your kind of checking out it just it's the aftermath when we were kind of going back to we know if we're doing things are not like oh you know I was supposed to you know write my book or I was supposed to have this interaction with that loved one or I was man I sure I had a feeling I should have reached out to that person or their that skill set or that characteristic.

I'm trying to really develop man I didn't spend any time doing it.

I think that's that thing is is there's there's two things I think we need to have a lot of Grace for ourselves, right?

And then And not tomorrow.

But right now, once we have that realization, what am I going to do right now?

Set the timer for 15 minutes or 10 minutes or something like that.

Okay.

We now that, you know, you had that awareness now start doing that action, right?

We're reading that book or doing that thing, whatever may maybe.

Because again, essentially, what you're doing is you are saying, oh, I remember what matters to me and I'm getting back on track at take action immediately.

Yes, Yes, yes, 100%.

Yeah, you don't take the action.

It's again, that's so really insightful.

Retouch what matters to you and then take some kind of action on it immediately.

Yeah, yeah.

Like Tony Robbins.

That's when thing.

That sure you listen to all the, you know, limited power and all of this stuff in the giant with their and releasing the dynamic within Elsa.

Anyway, but that's one thing that he says that whenever you're somewhere, I don't care what meeting even in this situation, right?

Is that.

Always do something.

Write something set something up, you know, reach out to somebody or do something that came to you, and that moment to accomplish that thing, right?

Like, don't leave that environment until you actually do something or set something up, like you said, the reminder or reach out to somebody because nothing that I've figured out because even in this conversation is, you know, it's great.

That there's there's things that are being said, that aren't being said between us, right?

There's things are coming to you.

Right, and same thing with me right now, most obviously livings in will come to will share them with each other.

But there's open also things either.

Just it's there, but it's just for you or just for me and I'll tell you anyone's listening to this, right?

There's things that are coming to you like you, maybe say a certain word, right?

And they're like, oh and that brings a memory or yeah.

And what was that time that I was totally off track and then I got right back at what I needed to do and that felt so good.

Good and then that led to this or that and you know it's the jobs that you can't connect the dots unless you look backwards, right?

And that's one thing I want also wanted to run to share with you.

There's this really good book, The Gap in the game, by Dan Sullivan and dr.

Benjamin Hardy, and so super good book.

If that's anything that men do.

I think is that in this kind of difference between success and significance is that we spend way too much time on, what's our Gap?

But how much further I need to go now?

Now we have to do that right going back to Krav Maga.

Alright, secular thing, I really got to work on that that this arm, right?

Or my positioning for men that angle.

I'm getting myself in trouble because I'm not setting myself up to your follow-up technique or to use leverage or what, you know, whatever.

But it's this this Gap and I'm a big believer in.

So the gain is how far you've come?

Yeah.

So let's say, just for this podcast, right?

Or with your business, or in your relationship, with your wife, or with your kids, or whatever spending time of saying, when I started that right?

When you're following my passed away, and moved up to the date.

So that you guys could be married.

And he can see that, and be there, like, how far have you come from that point?

And the whole Crux of the book is that you have to look at your And spend more time there than what you'll act.

And don't get me wrong.

You have to look at weaknesses.

You have to look at those type of things.

We're not going to move the next level, but I really like the ratio, right?

Where it's the Pareto Principle.

Celebrate 20 percent.

Yes, whiz.

Yes.

And integrate.

But like how did I do that, right?

I think the dots has appeal, right?

What were they feeling before?

Who I didn't like, the way I felt.

Okay, so what did I do?

I did this this this And now I feel really peaceful and I feel happy and proud, right?

And it's like again but it's that I think that's immediate see soon as you see that you're in the in the Gap.

Go to the game, right?

Start from that place, then go back to your identity, right?

Okay, so how do I chain these weaknesses?

I love with.

Is it Admiral Guy?

What's his name?

The guy who said, make you make your bed?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think it.

Sorry, I don't know.

A name but I love where he talks about being a sugar cookie, right?

And that's that was for the for the seals that weren't weren't hitting their standards.

They were struggling with whatever and he said there's the sugar cookie, right?

It was like basically you had extra PT, you had extra work that you need that you need to do and some sugar cookies because they'd have them like go in the ocean and come out like roll in the sand and all and go running, right?

Do all these extras just you know, 10 up to push.

Shots and just, you know, just kill themselves, you know, physically but he said, it was interesting.

As those that were sugar cookies, more often than not, they get stronger.

And they're the ones that would actually have their be graduate.

Yes.

Yes, right.

So what's the purpose of the pain, right?

So that's the thing.

It's like we don't want to just be in pain for the sake of pain.

It's like there has to be a purpose to it of like oh I'm getting stronger.

So again life is happening for me not to me, right?

And then owning that have like, oh, you know what, I didn't show up and I didn't, you know, I didn't hit that standard of that run.

Okay, what do I need to do?

What I need to put in place to incrementally, kind of a Roger Bannister.

Mr. Situation, right?

Like what can I do?

Incrementally to train different to focus different so that I can accomplish that outcome.

But again, it's not for the sake of the outcome, right?

Let that let that come and go right celebrate it, be excited about that.

But it's like, what did I what did I learn about myself?

Going back to like, who am I, what am I capable of doing?

And right, I imagine is because I've been wanting to ask her about your conversation because you've been chasing mastery.

In sales and sales leadership.

It is that your formula what you kind of been describing their like that was it that?

Because it you can have the best of intentions and you can, you can have, you know, the, the best heart and all this.

But at some point we talked about earlier, you know, if you're going to add real value to the marketplace, you're going to show up with some serious skills.

Yeah, you gotta, you gotta demonstrate your skill set, right?

And the one thing I look at it is like, how do I explain Something to somebody that makes them as very complicated right, right?

Hard to grasp.

Very easy for somebody whose brand new right?

To like, actually understand what you're saying and then if somebody who's very, very seasoned they'll totally agree with you like oh my gosh, yeah, totally.

That's been my experience, right?

And so how you get there?

Ultimately Is it starts with the purpose, also?

I'll just tell you is when I first started doing back-end, coaching sales, I was horrible.

Let Me My Philosophy was like, Hey, if you want it you wanted you don't, you don't and it didn't show how to spiritual leader, that asked me how things were going on, like, hey, schools going going to school.

I had two kids.

I just moved to the new city and and I said, you know, everything schools going well, like I have dyslexia and I've said So, I mean, that was a miracle in and of itself, I was able to just get straight A's we're in high school got kicked out of more for contact but still, I wasn't doing well, I was in special ed for my holy none.

I was like, I don't belong with, with these people are like, I don't, you know, but there I was and there's classes.

And just as whole piece of saying, okay, Anyway, the spiritual leader just asked me how I was doing and I'm like, hey, Everything is Awesome.

Right, my family school.

I'm like all in again but but work and this is 100% commission and so I was driving an hour away and he's like is actually cost me more money.

Yeah.

Said actually get there then then and I remember he owned a insurance company and so he's like so what exactly do you do is I kind of explained and he's like Oh, he's like, don't you think you owe it to those people, too.

He didn't say be still good.

They can't ignore you, you know, but it was too affected eyes.

Like, you have to show people why it's going to benefit them.

He's like, do you believe in it?

And I go, yeah, like well, who's the people that you, that you, that you work with, from Amanda leaders and the owners?

I mean, they're, they're, they're amazing, really good stand-up individuals and I, yeah, I know it, I know it works, he's like, okay, like you have to learn how to present it and You persuade people to do and I'm like, ah, so that put me on a whole journey and I we don't have time for that but I got I got money.

I didn't really have.

I got Tom Hopkins course and all this other stuff feel Carnegie and the pointing the hill anyway and really started to get that good at the skill where I was, I was in this awesome position.

I was talking to people all day long, so I take these things I read and I would implement it into the conversations.

Right?

And by trial and error, I started getting really really good actually.

Basically started creating this my own process and ever thought I was crazy.

Like, oh, don't do that.

You know.

And I was I was out and I was just like obsessed with trying to figure this out.

How do I persuade people?

And I'll never forget when I hope somebody again, you know we're talking about you know six thirty thousand dollars, all over the phone and in our time with somebody and somebody at the end where I've been preparing, like all their skepticism, all that stuff was able to really just give them a different way of looking at things and they trusted me.

Enough to to do.

And I remember them reaching back out to me less than a month and like thanking me profusely and the difference in their life and I was like, I have to get better at this.

I have to get better at this, like, people need this, right?

So anyway, that's kind of the end.

So, it's something that I still try to master and big thing for me since I've struggled so much, is somebody who I know is really like heart-centered and they want to learn how to persuade And and sell high level is I have a lot of empathy for them.

And so I will share, you know, like what works for me and you see immediate results, right.

Because it just it's like best practices we think about.

I mean, you know, I mean talk about the 10,000 hour rule.

I mean I have that by 10 at this point right just because I was so it was good for everyone, right?

It's like I helped them get what they wanted.

I was able to provide a high-level.

I got a lot of fulfillment.

And what I what I was able to accomplish, right, but going back to the original question, I mean it came back to having a conversation interaction with somebody who gave me a different perspective and really help me align.

My expectations, are my outcomes with like purpose, like why are you doing?

How you doing this kind of goes back that you know, that that that God, you know, coincidences is God's way of being anonymous.

Where you live is not here right now and we'll go ahead.

Obviously each of us have that thing where we are the conduit Right?

Because because that spiritual leader didn't have to say that to me because I've been like, oh, that sucks.

Once you use find a different job.

Yeah.

It's right.

He just said, like what kind of like, what's your problem back?

Why aren't you doing well with that?

Like that's what you're doing.

You gonna do with it.

Yeah, right.

And anyway, wow.

So before you answered your question, you've multiple times have alluded to this thing that I love to share and teach and I wholeheartedly believe I just I just can't Get it out of my mind, how powerful it is.

I think God and the universe are constantly conspiring in your favor, 100% 100%, just pay attention and take action.

Yes it is.

Hey guys, should pay attention suggestion, and it gets you on this path for incredible things happen.

Like, we, we go through our journey and we, and Rachel.

I, we've been out, we take our kids.

We are our, our family thing is travel, right?

So, we'll go travel ya, holdin, have you special experiences with people and places?

And and we'll stop often and and just look at each other and say, we couldn't have dreamt that up.

There's in our wildest dreams, we couldn't have planned it to work out.

Like it just did radius.

It's so awesome.

But if we'll just, just be open to those conversations and the meetings life is so beautiful.

Yeah, but look at your sense of gratitude.

That's that's everything, right?

So again, you're putting all this together.

Instead of like, look what I created by you, look at each other and you're like, yeah, we took the action.

Right.

I'm a big believer, is that we our savior saved Right.

We're also self-made.

Yes.

And that by our actions, right?

And and that's what a lot of people almost put too much emphasis on like, oh my God, tell me what to tell me, tell me what to do.

Or, you know, the thing is, we have our own brains, we have our own and so it.

So he wants us to figure this thing out and Learn by experience, right?

And there's no way we can get that experience unless we actually plan it out, put it together and go do it.

One thing.

I would love that.

Just really has always served me in and say, I don't know why.

It's like I should share this with you every time you look at your wife, you know, when you have just like that one-on-one time or your kids, think about this Greg because I believe in the eternities is that you will have that same look in that same person dies, right?

But the but that the environment or the outside is going to change.

Think about that for a second right?

Where when we're all bad, we graduate from this place, right?

That you're always going to have that that connection with your with your wife and your kids but it's like the environment is going to change, right?

Like being in heaven with them or being an you know I mean it's like when you also when you do that work just this Wow, you made it really brings things into Focus.

I mean, go back to kind of kind of purpose, but also, like not letting frivolous things, you know, like derailed a relationship, you know.

So yeah about that.

Demon is the same thing is true and you know, this already but like you started looking in your baby's eyes when they were really little and you were just cuddling them or changing diapers.

And then they're, then they're Toddlers.

And then Little kids, and then tweenagers, and then teens and adults, right?

Yeah.

And you still, it's that still use the same look.

Yeah, it's the same beautiful look.

And now they're just bigger and bigger.

That's different.

And then they start their own lives, but it's still that same look.

And the environment is changes.

Everything is changing around us but there's still that connection if we will keep the connection open.

Yes, we invest the relationship.

Okay.

See I love that, right?

And It's interesting.

I had one of my son eivin was in Ghana right now.

He's not there.

He's gonna be there for two years for a mission, really cool experience.

But anyway, I remember when we first need first, got his license and it's gotten a little fender bender and my wife called me and she's like, you know, Evans been an accident I'm like oh, is he okay?

And she's like yeah I'm like alright well what happened?

She's like.

Well basically he was at a stop sign.

He was looking at his phone.

And you know, sometimes you think the person from you moved out but they really didn't because just, I don't know, it's kind of Illusion or something anyway.

He you know, just anyway, just rear-ended the guy didn't really make too much damage, but turning this big thing and when I heard that he was on his phone and doing that is, like I said, sister in the car and everything.

It was like inside, I'm like, dude.

You know, you know better like no, cars can replace all that stuff, but I remember when I got home to talk with him and I remember, I just took a moment and this goes back to what you said.

And I, you know, because at first I'm like, dude, it's something bad, could happen, you know, better than that.

And then you're putting people's lives in it, right?

And I remember, like, I don't know what happened, but something inside me.

Like, I had this memory when he was born and like, looking at them.

Like, you know where I was like in and so on.

I wish I wish I'd have this framed all the time because they're sometimes productive have to apologize, right?

Yes, but but this is one of those times Gregoire is like that totally set the mood.

And so when I went in to talk to him, I talked to him, like, you know, I'm kind of the caregiver of this person that's been entrusted to me and and I'll just tell you that conversation was completely different totally different in the way that I I approached it and it was more just a teaching moment.

And I'll tell you, you didn't need me to, you know, he didn't need me to get after him.

He didn't need the dad lecture.

Yeah, it was a hard thing for him.

I think because of that conversation, is he came to me and told me what was happening and asked me for help.

Yep.

And man that was is everything, you know?

It's yeah.

So then there's so much in remembering the connection from childhood, right?

Caregiver having the right reaction to a mistake.

Open up that Gateway later.

Did they can correlate huge influence influence?

Right?

Right?

So yeah, David so much so much.

Great stuff, brother.

Thank you.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for making time.

Thank you for chasing your own path of Mastery, so that you have these insights to share with us and I really appreciate it.

Brother.

Yeah, thanks for having me on and it's awesome to get to know you a little better.

And, you know, it say I think I just I just hope anyone that's listening to this, right?

Is like, what are the things that were told you that?

Aren't said between me and Gregg, right?

That you need to do and right now, write it down and then what are you going to do about it?

What's the next best step to a to a to apply that, you know?

So exactly that is the perfect take away these conversations.

All right, dude,