#44 Winning in Life, Real Estate, & Business While Raising a Young Family, with Austin Foley

Gentlemen.

Welcome to the Be The Man podcast.

I'm your host Greg Denning today, my guest is Austin Foley.

He is the executive vice vice president of fitpro tracker.

He's also a real estate developer.

And he's got a young family, three three, small kids and a wonderful wife and we dive into investing and business and saving why?

They're super Savers we talked about.

How he grew up with just an amazing set of parents and how he wanted to be like his dad, right?

And what that means to have that kind of example and to carry that Legacy forward and we talked about systems and strategies and habits and routines that work especially for younger families, view smaller kids.

You know, or if you have had, you know what, it's like right.

There's there's a lot of there's a lot going on and little kids have different kind of Demands, but it's true for all.

This right is we're going to be husbands and fathers and great men and businessmen and investors and leaders.

We've got to get this stuff dialed in.

So have an awesome.

We have an awesome conversation.

Damn, sure you're going to enjoy it.

Let's Dive In.

Hi Austin, man.

So excited to have you on the show and share your story in background.

You guys for those of you listening, we're going to talk.

He awesome.

Has a young family and a brand-new baby.

So we're going to talk about that aspect of definitely a fatherhood in marriage and how that all fits in and work and all this stuff.

But before we get into all that awesome on you give us, give us a little bit of your background.

Tell us a little bit, your story man.

Well, first off, great.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for.

Let me just hop on the show.

I super It's super excited to talk about, you know, the next stages and what it looks like for the failures.

But also some wins in marriage and life and young kids.

But a little bit of background about myself.

And I married the most beautiful woman in the world inside and out, and her name is Alyssa and she's a NICU nurse.

So, and she actually works night night shifts at the NICU.

So at the hospital and I have three incredible, incredible little kids a little girl.

That's four and a half and this girl talks more than me.

So it's pretty.

It's pretty fun to ask that stage due to just constant chatter.

They want to tell you everything.

It's so cute, I love it.

I love it.

And then I just have one that's going to be turning three in about a week and so and that's a little girl and then we just had a little boy.

He's about a month and a half old so we don't know what he's gonna be like, but we are so excited because it brings a whole new Dynamic to the family because it's been princess princess, you know you know all these pink cars and princess and now it's like a boy.

We got a truck.

Yes, we do dinosaurs.

Yeah.

So and then we're so cool.

You're I mean, you're just starting.

In fact, you're probably already noticing, but as they get going because we have four girls and three boys.

And as they get going, it's such a different parenting experience with boys and girls.

And, and I love that, I love that Dynamic.

And even if you try to like, where I'm going to parent them, all the same that they're not the same and they're all over the place miss you.

I'm so happy for you haven't experienced.

You're right in the middle of it.

Oh well, thank you, thank you.

Yeah, and it's been great.

What's really cool is, you know, working with my wife, who, like I said, is a NICU nurse at the hospital, she works night shift, but then, you know, I'm also the vice president of a SAS company.

It's called fit protractor.

And so I'm the VP of Business and development as well as you know.

I also have a real estate team here in Arizona with my father and it's called the Foley real estate team and we do Residential and commercial, but we'll hit on that later.

But there's a reason why I went into that field was because my father, I want to work with, you know, my best friend.

So, so that's a little bit about myself.

Yes, and family.

Okay.

Well, let's go right there because you, well, give us a background or your dad.

You had a good relationship with your dad growing up.

And then wanted to kind of stay close to him and keep working him, how it was family life growing up.

Man, it's funny because that's actually what I really want to talk about was, you know, having that Mentor that person that just really gives you the foundation.

What a marriage is supposed to look like and I will tell you I had the two best parents that I could ever ask for that.

Showed in like my father, sold me.

What it looked like to be a man as a husband but also as a man as a father.

And what did that do it created this?

I want to be like my dad.

I want to be just like him growing up.

I wanted to be like him.

I want to act like him.

I want to talk like him.

I want a mere his way that he communicated and then what did that do?

Do as I started getting older.

I wanted to go into business with him.

Wow.

Okay, brother.

This is so cool.

I was just so, and pre-recording you guys.

We were awesome ever talking because I just got back from a trip with my boys to, to Maine and it was amazing and had this does that is really cool experience.

But I had me at me thinking a lot about what you just said.

So my dad split when When I was young stepdads, came when I didn't have the model fact, I've been racking my brain like I was into my teens kind of late teens before, I feel like I saw a couple that had a really good marriage and I was like this is what it can be like, this is amazing, right?

And so when I was alone on my own as a teenager, I wanted to create What you just described, right?

So it's cool.

Hearing you tell your story because I'm like, yes, that's that's what I want to build for my kids.

So that when they are adults and starting their own families, they've had the modeling along the way.

So man, that's cool to hear you describe that and that your your dad was was the model of a man as a as a husband and father and a businessman.

Oh yeah yeah and it's so crazy Greg because you know, growing up I you know I knew my dad was cool.

I knew he was awesome but I even like because he sacrificed I think that's the biggest thing that that really stuck out to me.

Was he was at the practices, he was at the games, you know, he did everything he could to be able to be at the school events and to be there for me, and that sacrifice at the time, of course, you're like, oh Dad, don't come to my practice so don't come to my game but now looking back seeing that sacrifice is what catapulted me into going.

Holy smokes.

He sacrificed time.

He sacrificed his career to be able to pour into me.

He is great as one of his greatest Investments.

So that one day I can have a family and I can raise them, right?

And I can be the father, the husband.

That's right.

And that's time.

Time is the most valuable asset that we have and he gave his time to Raise Me Up.

Amen?

And and at least from my perspective, it needs to be both quality and quantity.

Yes, and I think the way you're describing there I think you did it right man.

I think if we're going to sacrifice something, don't let it be the family.

Like I don't know that anyone's going to be happy.

They sacrifice their family on the altar of some kind of business pursuit or project or something.

It's the other way around, it's like let it and Rachel, I have both talked about my wife and I we talked about a lot like if something has to progress slower And it's either family or business.

Will let the business go slow.

Yeah.

Well, let the business stay small.

So the family is Big, so to speak, quote, and big, and in success, and happiness, and fulfillment, and connection, and relationships, definitely, definitely.

And I think one of the big thing is great that, you know, going through and you know the business that I'm in with fit protractor and he's different SAS companies.

But I also, you know, have been around a lot of wealthy people.

And what I've seen growing up, you know, going through, Agent going through these different.

You know, startup companies that have been a part of and what not is money's money is, you know, you need money to be able to survive.

But what happens is you see some of these very very wealthy people and they have no family, right?

They have nothing that that they just can't with the kids.

Can't wait for them to die or you know they don't have anybody that they can rely on or trust on.

And you know these wealthy people they give anything in the world to be able to have Have a little bit more time, right?

You get any relations?

Yeah, but they have all the money in the world but they don't have the relationship.

They don't have the family members that love them that they want to be around them.

They just got people that want them to die and then they get their money right?

And so I think it's really, like you said, it's it's making sure that that family is is full of love and that you know what really matters in life and so anyways, that's what my dad.

I mean, he, my parents modeled And I watch them sacrifice that their business to be able to be there for my sister and I let's let's go a little bit deeper into that, how your dad did it, and how you're trying to do it because I don't want to.

And I know you're not saying this and I don't even want to even slightly convey.

Like, hey, if you want to go and family, just take, you know, if you want a great family, take a vow of poverty, right aside.

We're just gonna ask me Boris, we have a great family because that's not true.

Like we can figure this out.

We live in a region at I'm like where the opportunities are there?

Where I Think we can have absolute abundance and the relationships, which is part of abundance, right?

I think we can figure that out.

Interestingly, a lot of men are still struggling with that.

They're still like, ma'am.

Come on.

If I'm going to succeed, I have to put all this in.

That means the family's side.

Or I'm gonna cut my own legs off at work in the marketplace so I can be family and it's the thing is one of the other.

So let's like, share what you saw with your dad and then what you're experiencing yourself.

Well, it's a great Point.

Yeah, it is.

It's I think it goes hand in hand.

I think it depending on because every situation, every relationship and every marriage is different, right?

It's not a one fit.

All in every business, every, you know, place that you work is different.

And so you have to find out what works and what doesn't work and I think that was just personal like watching my parents but also watching how my wife and I did it, you know, for my parents, my dad did Real Estate and he was a kick but I mean this guy was a row.

Rock star in the Arizona market.

And so being able to see him be able to just he he did lose some deals because of having to go to sporting events or travel with me.

But at the same time, he knew that he had to provide and at that meant he had to go and do a deal that meant he had to go do a deal.

So I think it's a give and a take and it's not like an all-or-nothing thing and where it's like, it's all you have to live in a life of poverty but at the same time, being there, like you said at quantitative also qualitative.

But at the same I'm being able to be in your kid's life, you know, I have to go to every single practice or every single game, but knowing that you were there every step of the way throughout their throughout their journey and so in, same with your wife and and so really what my wife, and I did going into this, you know, my wife's a nurse and she works nighttime, and there's reason why she works night and I've asked her to do you want to switch today's?

And she's like, no, I don't want to switch two days because a it works out better for our work schedule but then be it's it's She enjoys working night shift.

She does.

And so what we ended up doing was being when, did she sleep, bro, I gotta jump in.

She sleeps right before?

So, she'll sleep about two hours before two to three hours the night before.

And then when she comes home, she sleeps about 3 hours afterwards, That's it.

She has those windows.

Oh, and don't worry.

That's not my decision.

That wasn't me.

Like, I know, I know, like, she know, I hear you saying that she's like, no, I want to do this.

I'm like, oh man, plus 3, Littles.

And, and we're going to get into this because the littles are demanding, especially on Mama.

Oh my goodness.

Okay, we man, she's a, she's a trooper there.

I told you.

I married that.

I mean, I married up in all facets, you know, inside and out.

And, you know, and I think really what we talked about You know, I even asked her, I said do you want to still work and she's like I do and so you know there's there's trying to figure out a way and coming together in marriage and in talking about it you know how are we going to make this work and I think you know that kind of goes into like them the marriage side before you get married is setting up that Foundation of you know asking the hard questions of you know finance and you know how are you going to do this?

But at the same time setting those core values in life but also in your marriage of, you know, what do you want to get out of this?

You know, she was it.

My wife was like, oh, I want to be, you know, have a hundred million dollars.

Well, that's that wasn't going to be my core value.

So when we built our core value in marriage, it was we wanted to come together and find out what works best for both of our lives.

And we're where did we land on that?

And so and that was one of them.

Yeah, findings old listing out and just to break this down so I can it's a literal like thinking and even writing and then conversational exercise, I think all of us should do and if we did it at the beginning of our marriage, my wife, and I did as well, like we knew what we Wanted what we did and it sounds like you guys did too.

But anyone can start, even if you're listening to this and you're like, man, we never did that we're already 20 years in like you can, you can still start and say, just let's sit down, let's identify our values, see where there's alignment and then let's build a family lifestyle around that, which is exactly, exactly and dispensable.

It is it really isn't that gives you a vision and it gives you a direction because I can't tell you how many times.

And I've mentored young men and they go They don't have a vision or Direction.

And when you have those core values, that gives you where you're working together as a team, not individually and that's what marriage is built around.

Is your working together as a team towards your goals tour, your vision towards your core values and it's it's worth bringing up.

So we years ago we took our kids to this this rodeo.

In fact, I think it's the only met one other time.

There's one that's in Costa Rica or down there.

Then once in the states, where's this rodeo?

And there was a horse pulling Titian and it was like that, it was awesome.

I was exciting.

And so we got to go right walk next to the teams.

And these were just these beautiful, huge draft horses, this muscles everywhere, right?

And we picked this team, we thought, oh, for sure they're going to win.

It's amazing.

Right.

There were just so big and so strong and it was interesting to find out the math to in my mind and simplicity I was like, okay if one horse can pull a thousand pound and tours will pull 200 maybe 2,500 But the reality is is a team can like 5x.

So the horse can pull a thousand pounds of team can pull like 5,000, but a team that pulls in unison's.

Exactly.

Glad you like you're saying can just just waste everybody else and it was this one team.

It was medium-sized team, it wasn't the biggest team as medium-sized team and then when they hit it what was the key was the Unison.

When the winner when the leaders gave him the command boy, they hit that harness.

Exactly.

Be in sync and so they were they just wasted everybody else and winning the competition.

Which and I have I share that story and that visual because it's exactly you're talking about, it's like we get our values lined up and you're working together as a team in marriage, man.

You can pull off amazing things that literally seemed impossible and, and perhaps are impossible for others who aren't in alignment or, or working in sync.

Oh, definitely.

And, but that, that, that grade your hitter right on, but that came with trial and error, right?

I mean that I can't tell you how many times my wife and I had to sit down and go on dates.

It just go.

Where are we?

We're not on the right page, right?

We are on two separate pages.

I remember one was that a restaurant and I'm like, my wife's almost in tears.

I'm almost in tears and were like, what's wrong?

And it just took a reset to be able to understand.

Okay?

This is where we're not in unison because when you're not Unison and you're trying to pull off something, that's almost impossible, then that's where the small It'll crack start popping up where you're suddenly getting upset at one or you getting upset at the other one.

And it's like you said, you got to be in unison and it's okay.

Sometimes you're not and you got to guess reset, get back on the same page.

In fact, I would say quite frequently One or both of you is going to get a little bit off.

And so the difficult conversation and constantly revisiting this, I think it's an excellent point for me.

This is part of the marriage Journey.

We're constantly in connection and saying, how are we, how we doing a note, man?

Here's a new opportunity.

Here's a new challenge.

Here's a new baby.

Nothing like a baby to put pressure on it, but then then you just when you think you got it dialed in your kids go and grow up and they get a little bit older and you're like, man everything Working when they were in their tweens.

Now like we have to shift when they're in their teens.

Okay?

Now they're young adults, we got to shift again so I think it would be foolish for any of us to be like okay we're good and like we have this down and it's going to be easy.

Easy riding from here on out, I think you're spot on brother.

He got to constantly revisit that, and there will be tears, there will be frustration and there will be you, missing you missing, you just kind of miss each other like like, well, no, that's what I'm saying.

Like this is what I'm saying.

And when you keep missing and you just got to keep bashing through that until we get that alignment.

Definitely, definitely, you brought up a great Point.

Communication communication.

Communication is huge in that marriage because that's really what is that driving force of getting on the same page and understanding like oh where are we at?

You know, and you just like you taught said before we just had a newborn.

It's a boy.

A whoever's listening will know if you guys have boys and girls, it's completely different, but at the same time, it's Being in communicating with each other through those hard times and the good times and to be able to talk through those different struggles or, you know, trials that were going through in life.

And so, like I said, we just had a boy.

And now, I'm, you know, I have my wife who's postpartum and she, you know, is is, you know, now the like you said, the baby is really relying on her.

We got two girls that are super energetic and it's just a constant, you know, communicate communicate.

Communicate making sure we're on the same level and I'm going to be honest.

As a husband, I don't do the best of the best at it every single time and so it's constantly going back and being like babe, I'm sorry, I I probably should have done this a little different.

Yes he's nailed it right there brother nailed it.

When we when we kind of miss it gentlemen just go back and say I'm sorry I should have done that differently.

Let's let's redo this.

How what works for you guys in aspects of communication.

Again you mentioned dates which I hope everybody.

And that just has to be a regular rhythm.

Like I would say at a minimum weekly, some kind of even when you have little ones, it's harder with, we have two babysitter's or family or something.

Can't even leave the baby.

Sometimes babies, come with it on dates.

We when we had a section when we always had a baby Rachel's pregnant or we had a toddler some some baby something and so we did we did years and years of dates for brought a little baby, was it right?

But it wasn't gonna stop us.

So dating at a minimum because if you're doing I don't know, a date once a month or something, usually because, oh boy.

If I don't, Something's Gonna Get ugly here like survival mode.

Dating that just doesn't cut it.

But what's working for you guys is as far as those communication mechanics?

Yeah.

Great.

Great question is, you know, it is once once a week trying to get out, you know, we had to put a pause on that just when when we have the baby and whatnot but he didn't but even at home dates right.

And so is you know you don't just yeah you don't have to go out and go spend money because, you know, I There's budgets when we budget.

We're like crap, we don't have enough money right now but it's, you know, at home dates, really, really pouring into each other at home and I think that really goes back to Like Your Love Languages.

So like what is the other person's love language and it I would suggest if anybody that hasn't done like the five love language or you know, and taking the test to read the book.

Yeah, it's huge.

It's huge.

And I I always, you know, with my wife and it was such an eye-opening, it was thought won't, you know, she's just like me, you know, this, we have the same.

Love language.

No, we were two completely opposite.

I mean, completely opposite, she loves quality time, I love physical touch, she loves to, you know, the gifts and I'm like, you know, I like I said, love physical touch.

And what was the other one?

Oh, words of affirmation.

And so, you know, it was, it was one of those things that was eye-opening and that quality time was huge.

So, weekly dates not having to go out but also, you know, just spending that quality time whether we're going on a walk.

So we try and go on a walk like, two to three times.

Change.

The kids are strapped in even car rides, even car rides, where the kids are strapped in, and we can just kind of sit and talk for a little while on that car ride and just kind of debrief.

But and then the other thing that we do is once a month we'll go over.

We have like a questionnaire that we just questionnaire but like a list of questions that will go over that just help us.

Stay on the same page will help us.

That's huge that were there.

Yeah and you mentioned those are their simple.

They seem Elementary when you hear me like okay, but they work like the walk, you doing two or three walks a week where the kids get out there kind of doing their thing around their little by.

She got strollers or whatever was happening and you guys can get outside and move and talk and connect and then the drives or just having questions that you regularly revisit.

It's some kind of prompt something to say, hey let's let's spark a conversation that's meaningful instead of the merely like transactional conversations.

Doing this.

You're doing this okay.

Good night.

Good luck, right?

You know, it's so funny.

Greg is my wife and I just download an app and I now I don't remember what the app is and it Sparks those conversations.

It's like the day tap and it was we love it because it will spark, it will ask questions like what was the first thing that you noticed about your partner and you have to talk and it really opens up.

And I can tell you after that man, we were we were definitely on the same page so it was you know and we love that.

Tap and it just kind of helps with you know with with those questions and just talking communicating, even if you are great at communicating or you're kind of going through a dry spell, those, those questions are huge, that kind of open that that door of communication.

Yeah, let's let's go a little bit deeper here if you don't mind because I think this the stage of life you're at and I think is super valuable.

There's a lot of really powerful lessons here for a lot of listeners.

And and some of the gentleman here I have older kids.

But Maybe it'll come with grandkids or you got younger families or kind of we kind of have we have it like the older group and then we had a few years and we had three more kids.

So there's always like two little families and then I mess and gentlemen this weekend that that they got remarried.

So they had a kind of older family and then they got remarried and had some kids if they have a little younger family again, but in this younger time, period, There's a lot of fatigue sleep, deprivation demands, where your oldest is for Rice, you're still doing a lot even for a four-year-old.

They seem so grown up compared to the baby, right?

So capable.

Right, so even if for you're still doing so much and so there's going to be some stress and some strain.

And I get this is true for all of us.

It's not just true for this but it seems to it seems to be Obvious to see it, right?

When the kids are little.

So stress, strain Tears, like fatigue, sleep deprivation, like, oh my goodness.

How am I taking care of all this stuff sometimes?

All three kids are crying at once or making each other cry right now.

It's like, wow, and diapers diapers everywhere and blow out and you're like, oh my goodness, what is happening?

You guys have some things that are that are working for you or some thought just let's share some thoughts about this the A strain because it comes on the marriage and it comes on us as individuals.

Almost like if we could picture it as a pipe, you had a lot of pressure that pipe, if there's any cracks in there, boy, it can really spring a leak.

Oh, and it will.

And then like you said, it actually like magnifies those cracks, right?

When the kids are crying and, you know, one of the things that my wife, Allie and I, you know, we really we try and go through, you know, different books together and And, you know, we always want to be working with these with each other, right?

We always want to and what I noticed, especially one of the big things that, you know, never being married before when I first when we first got married and it was I thought I was always, I thought I had this like Lone Wolf mentality, right?

I was like, I'm a lone wolf, you know, I can do this, I met my wife and I didn't, I didn't think I was gonna get married tall's older, like I really did and I met my wife and I was like, holy crap, I have to marry this girl.

Like I have to there's no if ands or That's a woman I'm marrying and it was on our first date right on our first date.

And of course, I didn't say anything because that can come off really creepy.

So I just waited and waited and really just courted her, but it was, I always had this like I'm by myself and then when I met her, it completely changed.

But I still had remnants of that mentality of like, you know, it's me and so what we ended up, you know, through you know, different books and premarital counseling, which I'm a huge.

Huge firm, believer.

In premarital, counseling.

Cool is, is we are a team and we're in this together.

We are a team and we're in this together through the thick and the thin.

And so it was reading these different books, really helped and and in playing these different games and making sure that we are on the same team.

Now we might be on different pages at some point, there's going to be tears and you know, sometimes you know, when the kids are fighting, it's tough but we are always on the same team and reading Different books together have actually helped because we take time out of our day whether it's in the morning and stuff.

Like right now with the newborn kind of how to put that on, pause, we start trying to get back into it but we can talk about.

Hey, what did you learn?

Hey, what did you see?

You know, what did you get out of this portion of it?

How can we help with the kids or in our marriage?

And it creates that that camaraderie together.

Because at the end of the day, we were a family before kids, we're a family with their kids and we'll be a family after our kids leave.

Yes.

That's huge.

I don't think a lot of us see to the end of that as my definite and that was something that was, you know, I was in charge of this men's group and I was definitely the youngest guy there and I don't know how I got in charge of his men's group and you know going through and listening to these guys failures or not failures but listening to their issues and they would tell me they're like, I failed like I put my kids above my wife.

I put my kids above Relationship with my spouse and what happened?

Was it caused different issues.

And so for me, I said, okay, and I asked them, I said, what would you have done differently?

And these are older gentleman.

And they said, I would have not put my kids above my wife.

Because like we said at the end of the day, you are family before your kids, you are family during your kids and your family after your kids leave.

Well, do a huge huge Little Nugget.

They're asking, Asking men who've been there like a what, what worked, what didn't work?

What would you do differently?

That's a game changer.

When he gets so much wisdom from that, I want to emphasize a couple of Points 11.

You said that like you set things aside and I think that's so important for us to realize that there's going to be time periods and I think it's important emphasizes.

Well they need to be temporary like when you got a new baby it's like okay ma'am.

Oh, there's a lot of things that will work.

Normally when you get back into the Rhythm and baby gets a little bit older and things like, okay, but yeah, we can get back to that.

There's gonna be a lot of things.

Just go on pause and that's totally fine.

I've talked to a lot of parents, they feel so bad if they're not just dialing in everything.

I'm like, man, how could you during this time period life?

Where things are so crazy?

If you have a child with illness or right or baby or heavy heavy workload, it just can't be Aah neck and long term.

It's got to be short-term temporary or you can lean into the make that happen Tom.

I want to only hit the book thing because when people ask us like what, what's been the secret of success for our marriage, for our marriage and we've been married. 22 years is literally looks very first date.

We were talking about books and I was one of the things I loved so much about Rachel.

Mike and you're, you're reading some like serious stuff.

It was some scholarly stuff I want that that's sexy.

Like let's go out again.

Then, and keep talking about books.

And so, we started a whole marriage like that we're both voracious readers still, and it, your, your nailed it before, brother, like, it brings so much alignment, even if we don't agree, but we can read an author and be like, okay, well, let's formulate, these ideas and we can even if, even if we don't agree afterwards, we're still like, we have this common vocabulary and we can, we can work through this and reading together, listening to podcasts.

Whether listening to audio books together, it's a game changer!

Oh, 100%!

Because it puts you on the same team.

You guys are working together.

You guys get to communicate and talk and like, work through what you guys have read.

Yeah, I love this.

Where do you?

Where you guys fitting in?

Fitness.

Okay, where I got to ask, where you fitting in and and again this the sex thing before, and after birth we get, there's a, there's a generally, a lot less right with her work schedule and your work schedule, if you don't mind me, asking where do you fit in sex time?

Where do you fit in Fitness?

Where do you fit in the reading?

Jezzer busy?

I think this is a good example of like, super busy.

Little kids.

Like, whoa, how do we fit the pieces?

That matter?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, and I'm an open book.

I mean that's and the big thing is working on your schedule together, right?

And making sure that that if there's some things you got to cut out, you got to cut out and my wife and I we both I mean, we're both extroverts but we have a hard time saying no to things, whether it's friends family events.

But that's one thing that we've really had to learn was say like, you know, I'm sorry that we can't hang out tonight to some friends or to family and setting up different boundaries or barriers to family sometimes because that's, you know, It's because sometimes that it's, yeah, you just got to make sure that you have those boundaries and those barriers set up for your own family, so Fitness.

Well, first off, I work out, I wake up early, so we definitely wake up early, my wife, wakes up early before the baby, and we, that's where we fit, our fitness and her.

And I are both big-time Fitness before.

I got, I put my self through college as a trainer training, thousands of bags and a week.

Hey, but then that Dad bod came right back and I'm like, holy smokes.

So I gotta get back into it so, you know.

And so that was definitely waking up early and but going to bed early as well.

I mean, that was that something that we got into this, crazy, you know, staying up way too late and and it just kind of throughout the rest of the time.

It was six months period of us like that.

We just had to re re-evaluate talk about again, unsay.

Page and really hold each other accountable and going to bed early.

And with sex like you said it's a way of what we're going to say.

No.

It's that's spot-on brother because you're right.

And I, we've experienced that same thing, you'll get these little Trends, maybe we're patterns.

And if you have if there's enough awareness and you're having the conversations, you reading the books, you like, hey, whoa, like we're staying up too late, right?

Before we're not rescheduling our time.

Well, I love that you pointed out like scheduling together.

I get On get in, get in a planner and a schedule and make it happen and then honor it.

I can find that alignment in there, so you're hitting some soup powerful points.

Well, and really, that actually came from, I don't know, if anybody's read the atomic at the book called Atomic habits, loved it, and then The Compound Effect, just it really helped.

We were reading through that were like, well, we need to change some things up, but where's this is?

This is, It's a small little small, little movements doesn't have to be drastic that all-or-nothing thinking.

It's A small little movement.

So yeah, definitely just kind of making sure that we're on the same page schedule-wise.

But then, you know, like you said with little ones when it comes to like our sex life and whatnot.

You know, that is always a, it's one of those things that we have to it's not going to be like what you see on the movies specially after you have to have kids.

It was funny.

I'll tell you a story.

I was in a, we were in a young marrieds class and we were the oldest married.

Couple.

But we'd only been married for like a year, right?

It was almost like the blossom.

The Blind and I was awesome.

What is happening?

And we weren't leaving it, but I'm kind of like, just kind of just random off the wall pipe person anyway.

So, so I walked in, I was late.

I was putting it was right when I was training and, you know, they're talking about my sex life, like, hey, what is your sex life?

How is it going?

And again, we'd only been married for like a year and a half and I walk in and my wife sitting right there and they sit down like, hey Austin, we're just going through Chapter on, you know, sex.

And what does that look like?

And I looked over and I looked at my wife and I said, actually, we're gonna be leaving early to practice this section.

You know, this this chapter laughing and then I looked over and there was like three married couples, just sobbing, and sobbing, and sobbing.

And I was like, and the, the person that was leading the group was, like, my wife's elbowing me.

She said, I can't say that.

I was like, I know, you know, I'm laughing.

Like, we're gonna be leaving early to practice this chapter.

Her.

And you know, it's one of those things that every relationship is different, right?

Like I said at the beginning and it you know what works for some couples might not work for other couples.

And our biggest thing is that open line of communication.

But at the same time you know there's with that were huge in communicating on that part of the relationship of like how is this, when is this?

How is this going to work?

Especially like hey I had we, you know, especially with the baby right afterwards.

We kind of had to, you know, stop for a little while and that's okay because it given a tape that's relationship.

You give and you take and I can't, I can't make my wife feel bad.

Like, oh, we can't have sex for six weeks after after having a baby.

No, that's not to be that break.

Yep, you're right.

And I think, I think your story is, is such a great indicator.

Of kind of a general here to take it, you know, just a large group of couples and bring them in.

And you start talking about the sexual relationship, there's going to be a percentage of them.

And from what I understand in the research, it would be a large percentage of them that are going to be in tears, or frustrated around sex, and then there'd be another percentage that are in tears or frustrated around marriage or not.

Marry sorry, finances.

Or parenting or faith, right?

So there's a lot of challenges in marriage right now.

And what I hear you saying and I completely agree, it keeps circling back to this open communication and seeking to understand and then to be understood like Carnegie top and reading the books together.

Like let's let's figure this out.

That's that's cool you're doing so you guys did like did you do some premarital counseling and then then You were obviously in some kind of class for newlyweds.

Oh yeah, yeah, so we did premarital counseling.

And and I'ma be honest, I for, I was freaked out, like I was like, oh man, premarital counseling, is there something wrong with us?

Like, why do we need to do?

And that was actually something that my father-in-law said he goes, I want you guys to do premarital counseling, good and yeah.

And I was like, okay, I guess.

And actually my parents, they actually Council quite a few couples right now.

You know, whether their premier Oral or after marriage, going through issues of what not.

But and so I'm huge firm believer in premarital counseling and a guy named Chad more a pastor in Arizona heat, he kind of put it in perspective and this really it knocked me right in the like right between the eyes, he goes my wife and I we do counseling every two to three years.

And I was like whoa.

Like what you like and you guys suck at marriage or what?

Yeah, I was like what You guys like, you know, and he's like, no, no, it's the thing about this is we you don't stand out in front of a gym and go to everyone walking in your week.

Haha, you're weak.

You're weak.

You're weak?

No, no, you don't do that because the reason why you're going to gym is to stay healthy, right?

And in, he said, he's like I want our marriage to be healthy.

I want our marriage to be good because I don't want that counseling.

Marriage counseling to be the last thing that's holding our marriage together.

Other, right?

So see it.

As a last resort.

Oh man, the metaphors.

Perfect, brother.

You like only losers, go to the gym, right?

Like, no, that's that's where we stay fit.

And it's the same.

We got to be working on our marriage like that.

Yeah.

And so that's why we did premarital counseling before hand because it opens the door to the hard questions, right?

Because you know, when you're when you're getting engaged you know whether it's your super young or you know your mid-20s to Late 20s and 30s and 40s.

Like there are some questions that need to be opened and talked about that sometimes don't really they kind of get brushed over.

So for instance, when was like the compatibility test and I this this one really got me nervous because I was like, am I going to be carrying?

I don't believe this girl and it was it was more of a personality.

It was, it was like, how do you guys deal with conflict resolution?

And I, we Found out that we were the complete opposite, right?

And I'm old over-communicating.

She's under communicating.

And so how do you work together and what tools do you need to learn to be successful in the conflict side?

Now it's not going to be perfect but it's going to help with that.

So you can laugh about it and go that's what they mean.

We're Cara selling out of and we just keep going around in circles and circles and you did this and you said this and you didn't clean the dishes.

And so it just kind of gives you those tools to help you be successful in any other.

Things like Financial like you said before, Financial is huge.

How do you spend your money?

How do you save your money?

What does that look like?

And I would highly suggest people, you know, take some of these tests even if they have been 20 years of marriage or 10 years or just about to get married because it opens that door because thankfully, my wife and I are were like identical with financial.

We're Big Time Savers.

I mean, we are like, can you pushers?

But it definitely you when you get someone's a huge favor and someone that's a huge spender can cause conflict Wow.

And I think that's the point a significant point there.

You made it.

Isn't that you have to be the same.

You're not taking compatibility team.

Didn't see that if you're the same, it's to understand your partner.

So like you, like you said so well, oh, she's doing this and it may even be the opposite of what you do.

She's doing this because she feels frustrated right now.

Oh, okay.

Now I can I can respond to that and you know where as in your head you're like, I don't do that.

When I'm upset, she crazy.

Like, what's she doing?

That's that's not how you handle conflict.

You handle like I haven't like, no, that's not the case.

It's understanding that my wife and I did we did a whole podcast episode in our extraordinary Family Life podcast on this personality assessment, that Jordan Peterson and his colleagues put together.

Same thing is just like you find out where your You and your spouse or own in the scale and how to work together.

So, that's another thing I would highly recommend.

I which I think you're saying, as well as like, keep, keep learning about your spouse and yourself that this this, this doesn't end like you keep going, especially where, you know, it's we're a family where marriage before and then with the kids and then after, when all the kids move out like, you still are in this discovery and and still courting each other, loving each other finding out who we are.

And how we work well, together in all these phases of life, and they keep changing, and you keep changing, your spouse keeps changing Mass is, that's as critical component of understanding, how we can work together.

Not that we necessarily are the same definitely.

Well, and like we said before, Greg, I mean, I don't do, we don't do this perfect, nobody's perfect.

But it's it's constantly seeing what's happened seeing some of these failures learning from them and getting better like the decisions that we make.

Whether they're good or bad, we learn from and just get better.

And so, and that's one thing I want to do.

I don't want to come across like, oh why, you know, in this young stage and I have it, I don't and I'm constantly learning, and I'm failing quite a bit, but at the same time, we're coming together.

We're communicating learning and then growing from those different failures.

But I will tell you, the one thing is, for me, my wife was work, we're in this to the end.

Like that was our big thing.

We said, I know, matter what we're going to be in this city and and that was one of the things and I'll kind of go back to the very beginning with my father.

And I just want to tell you the story because I just think it's stupid to cool.

I love it.

My parents 25th anniversary.

They were older when they had my sister and I and so their 25th anniversary, I was about 12 and I don't know.

Sometimes at weddings will do like you know the although have all the Couples married couples come out and they'll do a dance if ever is there.

The long like been married?

The longest we do.

They win and they give advice to the married couple, my parents win that because they're a little bit older, but they got married.

So young when my parents were 25 their 25th anniversary.

I remember was at her house and we're standing there.

My dad pulls me out to the side and he goes, hey, What I'm about to tell you is something that is a huge for myself, was a huge accomplishment for 25 years.

I have been successful, I mean, not successful.

I have I have been faithful to your mother and I will be faithful until the end and I want you to know that and in to this day I still remember still remember looking at him while he's telling me this and I go, I want to be like you.

That was one of the defining moments of what a relationship looks like. like, And you were twins.

So yeah, I was 12.

I was, I was, I was in my teenage years.

I was like 12 or 13.

You just dial that into a young man.

Like this this is what it looks like this is it and I'm going to continue to be faithful to your mother it wouldn't that make me want to do that.

Made me that I can't wait until I'm 20 my 25th anniversary of my wife to look at my kids.

Pull them off to the side and do the same thing because that's what my grandfather did with my father.

And my father did it with me and I will be doing that with my kids and so to see him go through that and as you know, I didn't know much about when I was Of, but the battles and struggles of what that looks like.

So, anyways, that's, that was something that was ingrained in me from the very beginning.

And that's not a goal that's going to be achieved.

And I can tell you that, but at the same time, you know, like I said, that was something that was huge.

That my father did at with me at a young age when I was in my teens, then that's not that family Legacy.

Oh, man, that's awesome.

It's just, it's cool to hear.

You share this story.

You, and I hope that all the dads who are listening.

Are getting that because even even if we didn't have Dad's like that, the goal is to draw the line and become become the, you know, in your case which is amazing.

I love it.

You want to be like your dad, fantastic, he set the example, you follow it in my case in some of the cases and some people listening had the great dads and the following examples.

Awesome.

Some didn't have the example and so we draw the line there and say, well, I'm going to become the example.

So this doesn't happen to my kids, right?

And so now hearing you share this, it's almost like Like, you know, 30 years out, right?

I'm seeing this like oh one day my sons are going to have three kids three babies their home and their be like yeah, you know, I want him to like, yeah, my dad.

My dad said the example for me.

Right?

Right.

And and that's this is awesome.

I love I love hearing you.

Share this so special.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's um, why do you save so much?

Let's shift gears.

Let's go to finances.

Why save so much?

What's the money philosophy?

Yeah, well, I mean, I think it kind of comes back to, you know, like I said, my father was in real estate.

I mean, he's in real estate 40 plus years and he seen for financial recessions, right?

And so, so I've witnessed my parents and again, they didn't have anything, like, my parents, you know, they didn't have a, you didn't have a Family Trust.

I mean, it was like, it was my mom and it was my dad and that's it.

They were both teachers.

And so, he said I'm going to get into And real estate.

And so got into real estate, went through all these different recessions and the 2007-2008 was a killer.

I was 18 at the time.

I just tore my ACL for the third time.

I was supposed to go play college football.

I was I was you know way too cocky.

I mean I was way too prideful and tore out my ACL for the third time.

And I remember my parents coming to me with my dad, coming to me with tears in his eyes and he goes Austin, we're about to lose everything, you know, all their Investments were tied up in homes property.

These rental properties places land down in Mexico.

I mean, like, it was all these condos and what not, and he's like, we're about to lose everything mom and I are about to lose everything and I can't pay for you to go to college, and you're going to have to go with, not go to college, go with a football scholarship or pay for yourself, and so it was kind of one of those growing up moments.

I was 18.

I just turn out my ACL actually for the second time and I went and played it Community College football and then I tore it out.

Second game of the season for a third time and it was like I remember looking at my dad with his tears in his eyes saying, you can't beat, you know, about to lose it all and I said, okay don't worry I got this like you take care of Mom.

Don't worry, I can you know I'll be all right.

And so so then at that was the moment of like, all right, let's rock and roll.

I got to be able to put myself through school, something that's when I started working and I had two or three different jobs while in college training and what not but then as we got older and I met my wife, it was one of those things that It's building that passive income, right?

It's and you hear so many people, right?

You'll look on Instagram, you look on Facebook and they're like if you want to build past income, you know, but for us it was we want to be able to, to I want to be able to provide for my kids.

But the same time I want to be able to be there.

And so we had this strategy and we wrote, I remember, we're sitting in a restaurant right here in Phoenix.

Writing out her plan, our plan of what we're going to do, how we're going to achieve it.

And and then Link through with it and what?

It's not easy.

I'm not saying like, oh what we have.

All right.

No I'm not saying that at all but it was budget and I'll this is where we're going to be and we're not we might not hit it but if we you know after a year we we look at it and then we'll kind of go to the next goals and the next goals.

But the key is to have a plan.

It's interesting how few a few people and few couples have have a clear written plan and again, yeah, your it's not 100% but it's you have Being some kind of structure and you seek to honor it and you get so much closer than if you have nothing.

Exactly.

And if you don't have that goal or that plan, then it's just free rein old by this or you know if we don't if you don't have a budget you don't know what you're spending.

So then you can't plan on how much you're going to say, well, what is this need to go, does it need to go in this account?

How much my going to invest?

And so, so there was a couple of reasons why we do save and it's reason why I'm II saved and then my wife say, because she put herself, you know, luckily she got a scholarship but she worked all Through, you know, 17 18, 19.

Her parents is unbelievable job.

Raising her that, you know, money doesn't grow on trees.

And so for for when we came together it was one of those things that I witnessed with my parents went through.

So I didn't I I want to have money set aside and want to be able to not just only rely on real estate but also have multiple streams of income.

But the only way to do that is, you know, time and money.

And so, you know, so it took a little bit of time of, you know, having money having different opportunities, being able to put different Investments that we're going to create that passive flow into, you know, our bank and so and you know it's a work-in-progress some things work out, you know some things don't which one's if you what streams are you working towards Yeah.

So so right now, really?

It's the sorry where we can say, I was just going to size it.

Is it commercial real estate?

Is it residential say is it, multi door?

As it is, it creeped out like this.

You give us some of your we do things, you're kind of seeking towards just love it.

Yeah.

So so one of them is is residential.

So having multiple residents Residential Properties and I think I could talk forever on this.

I'm going to make it really quick.

So so I think too many times especially I work with a lot of first-time homebuyers because they age that I'm at, right.

And I have a lot of friends of trying to buy but the problem is they get too scared when they buy their first home, that if they do, if they can actually turn that into a rental property and all you need in Arizona.

And again, this is not legal advice, so don't take it that way.

But is you can get a lease and a secure deposit that can get wiped away.

And you can get another primary loan and so you can actually turn your First-time home, your first home, into a rental property, and then go buy another home.

And it's I think it's after 2 years that you can do this, you can start stacking it and now suddenly you have, you know, two or three different properties.

So that's one way of going about it.

The other one is like a four-plex.

I have an investor that I work with and all that he's done is done a lot of things but he goes he gets the triplexes.

The duplexes in the four Plex is a turns one door into four doors.

And so now he has multiple doors that are producing so residential just because In commercial just because that's my kind of area that I work with real estate.

So that, that whole that whole flow and it creates that they call mailbox money or that passive income.

But then also on the The Avenue, like, right now in working with with a couple of buddies that smaller businesses, acquiring smaller businesses, especially right now with the Baby Boomers.

There's so many baby boomers that are they're done.

They want to retire.

They want to be done but they built these Us' and they just want to get rid of them.

So here's right, and with the kind of economic social winter, we're going into, there's going to be even more of those.

There's going to be so many opportunities to scoop up businesses.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's and you can get them.

I won't go into it too deep.

But you can, you can get these some of these businesses with these different business loans, and whatnot, so building building it through there.

And then if you can try and get real property like in that business loan, There's a couple of different Avenues and, of course, the stock market.

And you know, I've tried my hand at in FTS completely failed miserably.

So you know you get some wins and gets to Las Vegas.

Yeah, I think what you're wins.

Yeah, you just want your wins or losses but you know it's just one of those things you just you kind of if you can catch it at the right time and great like Bitcoin.

I have some friends that made off with Bitcoin, they got it before it blew up and You know, they're doing fantastic with with their money and whatnot but those are just a few just some of the Avenues.

But really, I'm trying to hone in on that passive income and the only way that we can do it is with time and money and so I'm saving that money and having different groups that I know that I work with friends and whatnot, that that this is what they do, this is what we do.

And we kind of go out and, you know, and what not good.

So man, I guess the the message here and that's why I wanted your shares, like you guys are really Be proactive about financial success.

And of course, marriage success.

Family success, you've mentioned Faith.

A few times.

Do how much does faith play into your journey plan, business life, lifestyle, family, marriage, parent.

Oh, it's at its epicenter.

That's at the center of it all.

I mean, it's one of the things, you know, my my my wife grew up.

I mean we both grew up in a Christian household and very blessed by it.

And I think the biggest thing for For us is, you know, it's it helps us navigate through these different decisions, right?

And making these different decisions.

So like I said, it's epicenter of it.

Beautiful.

And I love the way you just frame that up, because almost everything we've talked about here, you've set yourself up to make it easier to make decisions and stick to them, with reading the books and communicating, and writing things down and getting counseling and helping and working on it, and then making plans and revisiting the plans and asking the quite.

Everything's comes back to, but it's so interesting, like sometimes we're Our Own Worst Enemy.

Like we are we are the villains in our own life story instead of the hero, right?

And we make it so hard on ourselves to make good decisions and keep them.

But that's a huge takeaway there that the faith peace and the finance piece, the family peace.

It all starts together to kind of come in and give you this framework and it doesn't make it super easy, but it makes it easier.

And point.

We've got a strategically.

Give ourselves advantages that are available for all of us, right. 100% man, that's cool.

That's cool stuff.

Awesome.

Yeah, thanks.

Thanks.

Bring your brother.

Thanks, I really appreciate this, man.

Some great insights, and, and you're in this awesome time of life, where I genuinely, genuinely miss the, the little little ones for, like, six months to, like, seven years was like this stage for me.

Where they're just cute and chubby and curious, and they make disasters and they're into everything and try everything and he's cling to you and cuddle with you.

And oh man, I love it and I love every phase.

Right?

We go.

We have four teens now and in the older kids, our youngest is 5 and sweet.

Just see still just coming out of them like on as I even miss changing diapers is crazy.

That sound it's just such a beautiful wonderful time when they're so little like that.

So Enjoy it brother is crazy as that sounds.

The say this.

Enjoy the chaos of it all.

And it sounds like you guys are so deliberate about it, and proactive, and try to do it right now, trying to be, you know, and like I said, it's it's it's we're working together and we have these failures and when we come together and work through those and it's, you know, every day is a new day and like you said, what the kids, you know, it's the days are long but the years are short.

So we're really trying And I you know, I fall into this whole thing of I need to enjoy, I need to enjoy it, I need to enjoy and I'm like I'm enjoying this is enjoying it.

So now I greatly appreciate you and all that, you know that Insight that wisdom, you know, and what you're doing because it is it's making a difference and you're helping so many people and anything that I can do you, let me know, but I really do appreciate you.

You know, let me talk and you know, I'm always here and I'm just going into that that next day.

So I'm going to need some advice.

I need some help.

So they now love you.

You thank you for making the time and being on here and and sharing that, that example of being so intentional.

It's a beautiful thing, man.

Any last thoughts for the, for the gentleman, listening, anything.

You haven't touched on the last Last Words.

Hey listen.

We're all going to fail, right?

We're all going to mess up, but at the end of the day just know that a you are loved and that that you know it's taking those some of those.

Those decisions taking some of the things that are happening and not letting it Define you, but letting it refine you and learn from it.

Thank you so much.