#59 Deliberately Recreating Yourself & Your Life, with Saif Al-Yasi

Gentlemen, welcome to the B Man Podcast.

I'm your host, Greg Dinning, and my guest today is Safe from Originally from Iraq, right?

And.

Now living in Dubai and man, I'm excited.

We're a lot of lot of cool things we can cover today, but why don't you give us an introduction and and introduce yourself and your background?

Yeah, So Sekali actually born and born in Iraq, Baghdad, the capital, lived almost 10 years in the UK with my father.

He's a surgeon, so we moved back to Iraq.

I lived in Iraq around 15 years, from 2000, from 1990 to 2005.

That's my experience in Iraq.

And then since 2005 until today, I'm in Dubai.

I am a general manager for medical equipment company.

Since 2005 until today, grew up in this company to be a general manager and now I'm a fitness trainer and move towards this new era of relationships, man, empowering, coaching, mindsets, confidence, whatever you want to call it.

It's everything you got.

OK, you got it, you got, you got hands in a lot of things that they're all kind of interrelated.

That is awesome.

Yeah.

Well, we'll come to that and I'll tell you why.

What?

As we discussed.

Yeah, fantastic.

So, yeah, where do you spend?

All right.

Of all of that, what do you love the most?

What are you finding the most joy and fulfillment in right now?

That's a good question.

Changing people, transforming people, seeing, seeing this success.

In men or women both transforming their body mind together to a new person, literally a new person, that they unleash their potential, that they see this new then and just this happiness in their faces.

Like you are part of this change, this part of part of this journey.

It's.

It's it's a it's rewarding by by unlimited the expectations.

Like you, you are overwhelmed by joy, by happiness.

This is where this is where I find myself.

Exactly.

Me too, brother.

Yes, as you're articulating that so well, the same thing.

I just I wake up, I'm like you, man.

I wake up.

And I'm like, what a, what a privilege.

What a, what an honor to be a part of that and and help facilitate transformations and unlocking of potential.

Absolutely.

Most of the time I spend my time is in the gym, training people, my clients.

So this is my right now, my main source of income.

So I spend more time in the gym.

So what I do is I wake up at 5:00 AM, I'm in the gym at six from six until like just now I I arrived back from the gym and now it's almost 10:00 PM in Dubai.

So.

This is the thing that wakes me up 5:00 AM in the morning without the alarm.

Okay is going to the gym and I spend time.

I tell my clients you are with me not because I can teach you how to lift weights.

Any person who's been in the gym for three months can be a coach to teach you how to lift weights in the proper technique or a decent technique.

I'm here to deliver more.

The time we spend within this hour of training is worth more than just training.

So it's more here.

It starts in their head and everyone I I share their stories.

If they want to share it, of course.

I mean, I I create this environment of trust and I call it like a father, elder brother for them.

Where they can expose their issues or the matter that they're they're with me for.

Yeah.

So once they feel this trust, they they build up this I I I absorb all what they want to say and then give it back to them in in my own words what exactly what they want to hear from me and can I I want to dig in a little bit.

You said some awesome things already, the connection starting in the head and the connection to the body of the mind.

But you touched on something there that when we have some kind of issue, have you observed that there are issues that become limiters or blockers for even physical growth and improvement?

Absolutely, absolutely.

That's that's the main obstacle which is stopping their body to change.

That is the main obstacle.

Trust me, I mean those who made the change.

Are people who have very strong mindset.

This is the this is the the thing.

I mean this is my own, let's say research or experience that I have with my clients because I look into into the the purpose like you can ask so many questions.

Do you sleep well?

Do you drink alcohol?

Do you eat sugar?

These are all factors but they the main main reason is this.

Is is there is they're messed up because of this.

There's something here the moment you invade that tumor, like let's let's call it a tumor and extract it and throw it out or manipulate it and put this positivity, this strong mindset the way transform or rewire their brains towards.

The way that they should be thinking, the body is just like within a week.

It takes only a week to change, which people like probably take a year to to have that change.

Within a week they start changing and the moment they start this change or visualizing this change and seeing this change in the mirror or around them, they start believing.

And this is the first step.

And the rest is just gonna be history.

It's just it's mechanics after that.

But you're right, it's it's making the transformation to believe.

Yeah, and I've said this before to my clients, it's like as I was helping work through these things, I was like, man, the major limiting factor is your own limiting belief about yourself.

In instances.

Because this this I gained from no literature, no book, no Academy, no university can teach you what a person has gone through.

I mean, I I don't know how old you are, but as you said, probably we're almost the same age.

So we have seen so much in our lives where we have reached to this level of understanding in life and maturing, let's call it.

The first step towards wisdom, like optimum wisdom, we just grasped this, this fruit of wisdom, so that because because of what we've seen, because I'll talk about myself, because of what I've seen in my life, the ups and downs, the failures and everything.

This is the reason why I can speak in such a way, in such a convincing way.

Because I have been there.

I see myself in every single client in front of me, male or female, because the failures that they are seeing is something that I have lived myself.

I doubted myself.

I believed that that who I am is the and in the eyes of my surroundings.

And This is why the moment I woke up and I I transformed myself, my physical body and my mind.

And I started.

It's just a small snowball which is growing and growing at day, day after day, meeting new people, talking to different people.

It only feeds my my snowball.

So This is why I'm so convinced that I can sell.

So going back to what I do as a a general manager for a medical equipment company, I started as a junior salesperson and I I have a product.

And this product is a machine that I have to go and sell to a doctor if I'm not convinced with this machine, trust me, I would never be able to sell this machine.

So there are machines that I had which I never believed in.

I would never sell them.

Even if it was like I had to do it, I cannot sell it.

I give it to someone else.

But the machine that I love and I'm convinced about it, I can sell thousands of them.

Okay.

So the same thing which?

Is within me.

My own experience, my own journey, my own life is convincing to me so I can sell that to other people.

And that's why I have this skill of selling what I what I say.

What are you?

Why don't you walk us through your transformation?

I saw, I saw some pictures.

You you put up a contrast from like when you were 29 to when you're 40.

It's it's awesome, man.

Walk us through cuz even in the picture you can tell like you're a new man inside and out.

Yes.

How did you go from just just doing what you're doing to now doing what you're doing what?

What was the change in the process there?

I love this picture for for many reasons and exactly what you just said.

This is the purpose of having this picture is like you see, like an entirely new person and the reason why I kept the age so bold and like visible for everyone to see.

Is that that person who was 29 years old is a totally different person than the one who's 40 years old.

I'm 43 today.

So the the difference in these two pictures are by all means, it's not just physical, it's not just the the way that I look in terms of muscles.

No, it's not a transformation of fats to muscle.

It's more than that.

There's depth in this picture, so I'll tell you a small story about this transformation.

I was always into sports.

I loved the and mastered martial arts.

I started with karate when I was young in the UK, went back to Iraq.

I started Taekwondo and I went to college.

To university I mean.

Our high schools are separated, so we live boys separate than men.

And then we're in the university where we're mixed.

So every person who is in high school is waiting for that moment to go to university to be mixed with girls.

You know, I was doing my Taekwondo when I was in my high school because.

It's it's a man thing.

It's a masculine thing thing that you have to impress your other male friends, so you have to be strong.

So martial arts was something that I made me stand up amongst everyone else and going back as well, because I came from the UK, I was kind of a an alien in my own home country.

I speak English in a proper way, which Iraqis don't.

I think different than they do.

So I was always bullied because I was different to them.

So I had to go back to the streets to develop this shield of being protected by my own self inside my own home country.

So I had to learn the Iraqi St. level way.

So Taekwondo was a good choice for me to develop this confidence, let's call it or character.

Going to university I I switched to bodybuilding and it was just a hobby.

Continued until the war started in 2003.

I I I because of the war and the issues.

So anyway I had to leave Iraq to UAE to divide since 2005.

Continued to work out.

But then I met my first wife, married, stopped doing everything for me.

This was it.

This is marriage, the new life.

Let's focus, Let's focus on, let's focus on the living, the new responsibility.

Let's build a family.

Forget about myself like the This is just a plain zone.

Time for single.

That's how I thought, so I let myself go.

Food.

A little bit of stress because it's new life, new marriage.

And for us, we.

We don't have this like you.

You stay with a girlfriend together.

So it's in order to stay in one room together, you have to be married.

So anyway, I noticed after a couple of years that one day I was standing on the scale in the bathroom with three digits.

I was like, what's going on?

I looked at myself in the mirror.

And I I started noticing the the change and like who I am, who is this person?

I was 29.

Exactly this picture.

I I didn't recognize myself like what is this belly?

And I started to remember like the size of the trousers that I used to wear is totally different.

This number is new.

So I took the decision to make a transformation which involve just diet and not going to the gym.

I.

I did this and I dropped around 20KG in two years.

Well, what's positive for saying why?

Like because I want to dig, dig deep.

Because a lot of people are like, I don't like this and then they keep eating or they're like, I'd like to change but then they keep on with the same path.

Like what?

What made the switch?

Like I'm done this changes.

That is, that is a very smart question.

Nobody has asked it and I kept the the the true reason or the true purpose.

But let's say it was.

How can I say it without telling you exactly what it was?

Because I I I said to myself like I'll keep this secret and no one will know about it anyways at all.

But let's say it was something that I heard at the time that.

Said to me that no, I have to make that change.

Something from someone that I is a very close and dear and dear to me.

Like no, no, this.

I'm not gonna hear this.

No one's gonna tell me this, so yeah, perfect.

So a personal message that struck the chord inside so powerfully that to make changes, there's no longer.

I love that.

That's beautiful.

Yeah, so I I took the decision to myself and I ignored everyone around me and it it it took me two years, just died, no exercise at all.

I dropped 20KG and that was a super impressive transformation for everyone around.

Everyone was saying wow.

How did you do that?

You know?

So we started seeing this effect of a small change that I had done to my life, how people started observing and asking.

So I I got these questions, but I didn't stop there because I turned 30 by the time I I dropped the weight.

And I said to myself, and I had a picture on my phone, which I don't like to put pictures of people, but this picture was.

A guy with 6 packs.

I told my colleague in the office and he was my neighbor and he's my best friend.

Also I told him this is my target.

I at that time I was 30 years old.

I had my first son Yusuf, he was one year old.

He had his son also similar age.

We're both almost the same age.

He looked at me as like safe.

It's it's done.

We are married.

You.

Yeah.

I mean, what are you saying?

You couldn't get this body when you are younger.

That's it.

Just leave it.

You know, let's live our lives.

Let's let's take this responsibility.

I was like, OK, but his voice is still here.

You know, I still, I got to emphasize that for a minute because I'm so glad you said that.

I think either consciously or subconsciously so many guys like, oh man, from 30, like no or 40 or whatever you think your number is just like, no, you can't.

It can't be done.

And and like, just, hey, give up the drains, man, if you didn't do it when you're 21, not going to.

Have like, come on, you're going to be responsible.

You can't live at the gym.

Like, come on, let's go.

So you're right and it and the transformation can still happen.

Yeah, so we lived in, I mean in Dubai if one day you will come you will see most of it are are buildings and in every building there has to be a gym inside for the building.

So yeah, it's so it's a small gym, few dumbbells around, but it serves the the job well.

I mean so I started going upstairs after work doing a little bit of work out here and there, but I felt like this is not enough.

I need to level up.

So I went to took a membership in the gym and I started going even between working hours.

Like if I if I have time, I'll just drop by the gym, quickly do a do a few sets here and there, take a shower and go back to work.

So I always I got to jump in there too.

Because you you just you skimmed over really important thing.

I think it's beautiful.

You could have been like book man.

I lost 20KG.

I'm going to the gym.

I'm a different man.

I'm good.

What was driving you?

What?

What was in your head is like, no, this isn't enough.

I want more.

Was it the same thing or was it?

Again, again, yes, it was the same thing.

It was this, this word that I heard.

It was not mentioned to me deliberately, but it was something that I realized, OK, this is something that I have to do.

For many reasons so I decided to to do this.

You know I I just wished it's right.

Personal and powerful, that's awesome.

But it's the principle that those listening can say, you know what's what's that word, what's that message that that lands so.

Hard, I mean can't go.

I myself go.

There's there's always reasons for those who did the transformation, but this my message is that there shouldn't be just one reason.

I mean, we are meant to be this way.

I am just a living proof that today I'm 43 and physically I am the best that I've ever been in my entire life.

So right now, today.

The the physique that I have today is for me the same as what you just said when I when I drop the 20KG and I was like wow, everyone was saying wow.

Today everyone is saying wow to me when I'm 43, but for me it's the same as when I drop the 20 kg before going to the gym and building that muscle okay.

So I have this like every time I seek a goal in in my head.

For me, this is the first step for a new goal.

So I always raise the the bar every time and trust me I mean there's no there's no limit I I don't see any limitations because the limitations is all is all in the head.

So that's why I always find the connection between the head, the mind and the body.

And that's why what I what I post on Instagram or what I say outside social media is the same thing.

The connection between the mind, the mind and the and the body is very, very important.

And now I shifted towards relationships and this probably is something that we have in common.

Being a father or being a husband is is very, very important for us as well as men.

Because I find myself, if I'm successful, like all by myself, I'm financially successful, I'm successful in my business, my body, everything.

Without a woman in my life, I'm just 50%.

I'm just filling this 50% gap.

I need the other 50%.

This is the the more challenging part than this one.

This might be easy.

Everyone can do it.

But this is the difficult part.

But the reward is here.

This is where you get the 100%.

So I always wanted to complete this life of of me.

It's a little bit selfish when when you hear it from my my words or my voice saying it's all about me so I have to complete myself.

But this is reality.

The woman in our lives is just the environment of happiness that provides this surface, the soil for you to grow even more So every successful man, there's a woman behind behind her.

So this is, this is, this is reality and this is true.

And trust me, the moment you start seeing, seeing it in this way, I don't know what happens in the universe, in life.

God starts treating you in a different way.

No truth.

Even if you're saying I just, I have that same feeling.

My wife makes me feel whole and I know it's the same for her.

And you're absolutely right.

It's it's this beautiful environment and then and from our perspective, absolutely with children as well.

I hate family, man.

It's done well.

You gotta optimize it.

You gotta work on it.

And you're right, it's way harder than just doing your own thing.

You gotta make it work.

But if you make it work, it's the perfect environment for growth and meaning for all of us.

You can agree with me, I believe that because it's too hard.

And if you succeed in it, it's more rewarding than if it was easy.

The harder it is, and the more you're capable of controlling it and handling things with with this emotional typhoon, let's call it, the more rewarding it is.

It just raises you up, you know, as as a leader, as a strong, strong man.

Strong being.

Exactly.

Love to hear you say that so.

We from here we can go several different ways, but I want you to talk about things you've done again, either at home or in the gym or with your schedule.

Like how have you optimized aspects of your life And you can pick on anything that's that's like what's what's helping you move the lever and continue to succeed and continue to set and achieve new goals.

There has to be this element of optimization right when you take on more responsibility.

We don't get more time.

It's not like, hey, now I have two kids, I get an extra 2 hours every day.

It doesn't work like that.

We've got to learn to optimize.

So what are the things you've learned along the way?

And you, you can go many directions with this that have helped you achieve success.

Let's call the first awakening in myself is like this decision to change my my body and the result that I've seen and the appreciation that I've got from people around me.

It's so overwhelming that it just pushes you to do more and impress other people and be a reason for others to be watching you and following you.

I wasn't really into social media.

I was just like a person who has a social media account just to watch other thing or connect with a few friends.

But the moment I started growing, first in my job as a junior salesperson to a sales manager, from a sales manager to a general manager.

And again an outside life from this person who was fat or who let himself become fat.

To drop that weight, to impress people, to tell them how I did it and then go and study because I needed some certificates, some accreditation.

To say that I can't speak because I have certificates as I hang them behind me because people love this.

But to be honest with you, I I don't believe in any of them.

It's all in here and all in the experience and that I I see things which is totally different.

It's more from this side than rather than this.

But people love this anyway.

So I I went and studied.

I took my certificates and personal training.

I started training in the gym after.

After my my office time, I went through the divorce.

Probably the divorce was a big factor for me to utilize my time because I was forced to.

You know, having a divorce anywhere in the world is is a is a big financial responsibility, especially in Dubai and with three kids over there, I had to do do something.

I mean and the crisis that hits us over here as well.

So I I I wasn't thinking about fitness, although it was there all the time with me.

But I was trying to find different companies.

I was trying to find different opportunities to to have another source of income.

But I never looked at fitness as one of them the moment I started.

But but fitness for me or the gym, the transformation, the the, the this line was always a therapy for me to heal this wound or gets rid of the stress or gets away from it.

So I spent hours in the gym just to forget, you know, just to add more pressure to myself than the one that I had.

But at least this is something rewarding.

I will look at after in the mirror saying like, okay, I have so much stress, but this kind of stress gives me something which at the end is the source of my second income.

And now it's becoming the first better income to me.

So the moment I started seeing this, I started okay.

Let's invest more.

Let's put more to it.

Like more.

What's the highest certificate?

I I went and took my master's degree.

I was like, okay, what's next PhD okay book like I am.

I'm almost there, but I'm just waiting for my slot.

Once they give me, I'll be like APHD in bodybuilding and nutrition.

So what?

What's next?

Let's read some book.

One book led to another and another podcast.

Let's find a nice gym to work at.

Freelance.

I started seeing like the the reward, first of all in people and then financially, which was another important thing.

So this was probably the the main main drive.

And I mean when you succeed in something, you see this was an opportunity which was right there beside me that I didn't see.

But I was like, wow, it's something that I, because of I continued to do something and it was there, it became my my new me, my new source of income.

So now I realized this was there.

So it was always me, let me invest in me then.

So yeah, I mean, this is what I'm doing right now.

I saw different opportunities.

I started seeing difference right now looking at my my own journey and where I came from and how I become the person I am today.

And the more I connect with different people, the more I seek more opportunities.

I started realizing like the type of people that I surround myself with has an impact on me as well.

So there are people who love you and care about you, but they don't see where what kind of vision you have developed because you have changed massively during this time where you started.

You know there's there's you started focusing on that one goal which is within within you.

But other people just can't see it, that they love you, they care about you, but they can't see where you're going.

So they have nothing to say or they have like their own way of seeing things, but you cannot put it into words to them.

It's because it's inside you.

So I I started moving away a little bit from this kind of environment, putting myself into environments where I learn more, I develop this or feed this brain, start feeding the body with weights at the gym and that home buy food.

But I needed this to develop.

So books were amazing.

Podcasts.

I listened to a lot of podcasts, but the most important thing, and the beauty of me being in Dubai as well, is this diversity of cultures, diversity of people that come to Dubai 200, you're talking about 210 different nationalities, different backgrounds.

So you start accepting people, accepting their own beliefs, how they think, how they see things, why they came here, what are they doing.

So you you start, you know this is, this is food and nutrition, healthy food for for the brain.

See, that's amazing.

And do you find that kind of diversity in your clientele as well?

Absolutely, yeah.

So I started diversifying and because I started building a name and I focused on my name to be my own brand.

So I started shifting away from my own type of or category of clients.

I didn't want to be called just the Iraqi coach who train Arabs or only Iraqis.

No, I wanted to diversify.

And why not?

I I, I speak English better than anyone else.

I know how to read their minds and talk to their same to their same language.

I I come from, I'm different than any other coach because I'm a general manager.

So once they know that well he's a general manager.

What are you doing here?

So it's kind of like 2 hats that I I juggle with.

I change from time to time, but each one feeds the other.

So if I tell you that I'm a general manager and you meet me at the gym, you're going to look at me differently.

So you you want to connect with me because I have probably things you're.

You might be an investor who wants to open a hospital, and I know how I can bring these equipments to you and vice versa.

When I go back to the office and work in the office with me being a coach and publicly known as a coach, I have doctors clients in the office who are clients in the gym as well.

So that's awesome.

Yeah.

So I became more successful as a general manager because of who I am as a personal trainer, which I I never expected.

So I can't let go of any one of them.

Although like I'm struggling with time and I have to focus on something.

But it's just so overwhelming that when I go to a meeting, for example, sitting with a a hospital owner or a CEO, he either points out to me like, aren't you the guy who talks in on social media?

And I'm like, yes, so it's a nice breaker, you know?

And this is all about the breaking breaking the ice in the connection.

Yep.

Beautiful witness of of how results do the talking like you some results and you went out and and you've been chasing knowledge and and experience and your own goals voraciously and it just it's part of the flywheel is what we call it.

Refer to it.

It just it gets all these pieces and one feeds the other and it just creates this momentum, yes.

It propels you forward if I would structure what I just said and put it in the equation.

Let's call it going to the gym is the best way to prove to yourself that change is possible.

So if you really, really want to make that first step towards changing your entire life and becoming that successful person, look at your body.

First of all, does it need anything?

So I mean it's all the knowledge, all the information is out there and it's for free.

Towards changing your body, fix your diet, go to bed, cut off the nightlife, sleep early, wake up early, drink water, avoid alcohol, avoid sugar, eat protein, go do any kind of weightlifting in the gym within a month.

Your if you if you practice this 30 day habit of doing this every day, you have to see results.

The moment you see result, this is like the first change that you're going to see.

Wow, I can do something, you're doing something with your body and as this like progresses more and more, you're setting new goals in your life with your body and you're over achieving that and then building it up with another target, then it's it's for true.

I mean it's real when they say like the the the perfect body goes with the perfect mindset.

It's an Arabic quote which I read the very first time I went to the gym in Baghdad.

I still remember it was a sign board on top of him saying the straight mind goes with the straight body, something like that.

So there is a link and that's why you see most of the successful people are people who have discipline in their lives.

People who wake up early, they they don't go party every night.

They they have like a regime in their life.

Every every moment of their lives is organized.

They that the importance of sleep, the importance of the surrounding of people around you feeds themselves.

The investments in knowledge, seeking knowledge, reading, listening to podcasts, whatever, having that one hour for yourself, eating the right sources of food and then it's just keep growing and growing and.

They feed each other and support each other and they all stand together.

And I love what you're saying there, brother.

It's like it starts with a commitment to change your body.

And then the way I like to describe it is that it has a cascade effect where it starts to spill over to all the other aspects and areas of your life, which then bring back positive benefits to your body and your health and then your relationships.

And and this is beautiful.

It's a beautiful garden that just keeps nourishing every part of it.

And you can you can literally create a transformation in your entire life.

Yes, I I say this to my clients quite a lot because it's it's real.

I I call it the gym because I'm always in the gym and apparently like not everyone is in the gym but they can practice exercises outside.

But let's call the gym as the environment where you do some exercise.

It could be a swimming pool, it could be the ocean, it could be outside on the beach, wherever it is.

Let's call it the gym for for for now.

The gym is a laboratory for life.

What?

What is this?

So I love squats.

I love deadlifts.

I love lifting heavy weights and and and weights.

This is what I learned.

I mean in the university is like progressive overload.

Okay.

Bodybuilding is all about progressive overload.

So you have to go and add a little bit of extra weight.

What is that weight?

Weight compared to life is stress outside.

So I go in the gym and I lift the weight until I fail and I cannot anymore.

So I become weak.

The the stress the weight has put me down, same as in life.

But what's the difference?

I come back, I go back and rest, take a break, rest, sleep, and when it's legs day, for example, let's take the squats as an example.

It's legs day again.

The next week or the next 2-3 days, I'll come back stronger because I rested and I want to conquer that new weight and I'll add another weight, extra weight to put me down again and fail because I'm going to go back.

I know that I'm going to become stronger.

This is in life.

When you look at my my life journey and the problems that I had or the the issues that came across in in my life and the way that I was dealing with every single problem, I was failing and I was sitting down and like accepting failure, accepting failure, not going back to it.

So when you sit down and like you're stressed, you're all over the place with like issues in your head from whatever work, school, relationship, kids, divorce, anything.

That's so much you cannot tell life, or you cannot wish for a life without problems.

You cannot go to the gym and wish for no weights to build your body, right?

I want to get jacked, but no heavy weights.

Yeah, I don't want to see weights, but I want to get jacked.

Same in life.

So in order for you to be wise, to be a man, to be that Superman who everyone looks at, and I want to be like him, wise and confident, with that beautiful body, beautiful mind, whatever it is.

You have to accept that problems is part of your growth.

So when you when I go through a phase, whether it's financial phase, financial crisis or a relationship crisis or whatever, I sit down and I laugh.

You know why?

This time I laugh when I used to cry.

I laugh right now.

And the more bigger the problem is, the more better.

I know I'm going to jump higher.

It's it's like a a hill or a cave you're you're down there.

But the the deeper I go, the more I laugh.

And I know that my jump is going to be higher the next time in success.

So this is, this is the life.

So this pattern of ups and downs and this frequency of going like deep, deep down into these problems and life takes you more down because there's a bigger jump, There's a bigger thing behind.

There's this massive change in your life.

You're down here because you wished for this.

In order to reach this, I need you down here, and then I can take you there.

So this is what life is telling you.

So again, going back to our laboratory, it's the exact same thing.

I have to put this client under pressure with weights.

He's going to hate me.

He's going to cry, he's going to throw up.

I don't care.

I'm going to give you more weights.

You're going to crawl, you're going to be sore for the next two weeks, but what is the reward?

You're going to have beautiful body.

You're going to love me.

You're going to come back asking for these problems.

No one asks for it, but I will put them so I'm live for the results.

Yes, they want the result, but they know they have to come back to me to talk to them.

So I am life and the gym is the environment.

The gym is life.

I am life.

Putting this problems, these pressure on them.

So it's the perfect example of like the gym is a lie, is is the laboratory of life.

So that's why I love the gym.

That's why I love exercise.

And I encourage people to start their change and their transformation to understand this and then apply it outside.

You're going to be humble.

You're going to be strong.

And strong does not mean loud, does not mean you have to argue and fight and show that you're a man.

No being humble and appreciate.

Like if you go and live in the gym you will start seeing things that in a different way.

The most humble people in the gym have the best bodies.

Why they should be the arrogant ones.

The louder ones are the ones who have nothing at all.

Throwing the weights and breaking stuff, you know, walking with the the invisible wings.

It's it.

They have nothing, but they're loud.

But the quiet ones, the humble ones are the ones who have their perfect bodies.

They hide it.

It's out there.

They're just quiet in the corner, doing their heavy weights, putting back the weights, cleaning after themselves.

This is the person who's going to be outside, who's going to be a successful father, who's going to be a successful husband, who's going to be a successful business person, who knows how to talk, who lowers his tone, who accepts the person in front of him who is going to be like, I don't know, I'm, I'm just talking too much.

But I, I, I can, I can, I can keep talking about this.

But the the, the person that you admire outside this humbleness, this this beauty in the man who who who's super confident.

I'm talking about ultimate level of confidence.

I'm talking about ultimate level of masculinity.

I'm talking about the ultimate level of wisdom that a man can achieve and should achieve.

It all starts with being humble and.

Yeah.

So there's two questions I want to ask you, and this brings us to one of.

You said earlier that people noticing you became a motivator and then you know your your online influence began to grow.

And I don't, I don't take you as as a guy with a really big ego that's like, oh, I love all my followers.

But it was important to you.

Why?

Why is that?

And and how do you, how do you grow your influence?

How do you get the results and and maintain a sense of humility?

Without letting the ego get in the way.

Because when you start getting results, the ego wants to creep in and and be loud about it.

I started realizing that my I mean it wasn't by purpose.

This is who I am today.

I I cannot fake who I am today.

I'm honest.

I'm I'm a person who helps who, like, who likes to help people who.

Because I've practiced this for quite a long time right now, and I will still continue to do so.

I I love people going through their own transformation and even if they're not my clients, I will go and reach out to them and like push them.

Even if they're like with other colleagues, coaches.

I I always like love to push them towards being better than and better and better.

So probably is it's it's my voice and what I say to to people and the more I speak the more I I'm I'm noticed the more I'm I'm accepted.

So this is if this is the the thing that makes people love me why would I why would I stop.

And the moment you stop and say you've reached to a certain like high mountain that that's it.

You you say I I've reached.

I don't need anyone else.

I I've done it.

I'm a successful person.

My father, he's, he's a surgeon and he loves to read books.

I, growing up under his shelter, just made me hate books because I was surrounded by books.

So I had this fear of reading books.

I don't want to be like him.

He was always on, wearing his glasses, sitting and reading, reading, reading different books.

It's not just medical books.

It's like all everything so but but I remember he used to push me to read books and he used to say the more you seek knowledge, the more you're going to be very humble in life and understand that you are nothing.

Yes.

So if if you if I decide to say that today I know everything and I'm the the man, I am the one and only I I I decided that this is the death of safe.

I I just killed safe.

Because that that's not it.

Because the more I I read something or I I try to learn something the more I feel like where am I?

I'm nowhere.

I'm just a small drop in the big ocean.

Yes, yes, yes.

So this, this creates humble humbleness.

Because when I'm talking to you right now, I'm I'm like, you know, something that I don't know and I wish to learn from you.

But I'm letting myself speak, but not the opposite way.

But I love to listen to people.

I had a podcast yesterday with the lady.

She does this holistic approach stuff and we when we shared the conversation together.

So when I talk, she's listening and when she's talking what she's talking Chinese to me.

I don't understand a single word to what she's saying in this Buddhism or the the the stuff that she talks about yoga and Yogi stuff.

Although, like, I have friends and colleagues and I, I love to listen, I don't say to myself, no, this is bullshit.

I don't, I don't want to know there.

There has to be something behind it.

That's why she believes in it.

That's why she she's doing it.

So I accept other people's beliefs and I accept other people's opinions about stuff that they know and I try to seek why I put myself in their in their place.

Because you can't say to yourself like this is my point of view and that I don't care about anyone else.

There's something that I loved and it was a professor giving lectures, literature to students and he just picked a book and he's like, what is this color?

And everyone said it's blue, He's like, no, it's black.

And he was very convinced that this is black and everyone else is saying no, it's blue.

So he turned around.

He turned the book around, and it was black.

Okay.

So the message was, it's like what you see is not probably what I see.

So try to accept other people's opinion because you don't know what they're seeing or what they believe.

And so this is the same thing that I apply to.

And again, this is being humble and being like, not arrogant and try to accept other people's beliefs, other people's knowledge and why, and put yourself in their shoe and see things from their perspective.

And then you start understanding and take that knowledge that you need to feed yourself.

And I believe this is what emotional intelligence is.

And that kind of sincere curiosity and genuine interest.

Is so humbling because the more you learn I I say I'm on the same journey I so I've averaged.

I average a book a week, right.

And have for well over 2 decades and all it does is just expose me to how little I know, right?

And it is, it is humbling and exciting and exhilarating because you keep learning and then like you're saying every single person we meet has something to teach us.

If if I get asked the second question I thought of, and if you could maybe just give this a thought, it's like what did.

What did you learn from the divorce about yourself or about marriage?

Like, what's your big take away that would be beneficial for us with people listening?

Because that was that was hard, an extremely hard challenge you went through.

And I I know I can tell in the caliber man you are, you didn't just walk away from it.

I'm sure you grew from it and learned from it.

Yeah, 100% it was.

I mean, looking at the nine years of marriage that I had in the first time and looking at it from the eyes of the person or safe that was during that time.

I would say it was a chaos.

It was a it was her fault.

There was so much issues because of her and we had fightings and misunderstandings and she wasn't the perfect match for me.

So many things.

I will come up with so many things but not point out at myself and say I was the problem now after the divorce and I sat down between me and myself trying to figure out what happened and where I'm going, the kids, the things.

During that Phase I was trying to pick up myself.

I met my current wife and she was of a good support to me at the beginning of cleaning this mess around.

Like she, she always says that she found a lovely jewel in the dirt and she just tried to clean him.

She saw the potential of this man and she was around me, but I had nothing to offer her.

I'm talking financially.

Nothing to offer her at all.

And I I I didn't want to lose her.

I I was hopeless.

I needed someone around me.

I had the trust issues with everyone but but her.

She she felt different with me so and why would she accept a man who's so miserable, who just came out of a divorce, has nothing in his life.

He has three kids and she's a single pretty lovely woman with nothing.

Why would she accept this And and plus we're in Dubai, Okay, this is a big thing when you say a woman meeting a a perfect woman in Dubai where all the gold diggers are are based like the hub of the gold diggers.

So I I I knew that I had the one the moment I met her and I didn't want to let go of her.

But there were issues.

And I started at seeing the same pattern of issues that I saw previously with my with my ex.

Although my ex was from the same home country that I was.

And I thought it was because of the home country.

And now I'm with a different person from a different country, totally different mindset, but I saw similarities, like almost the exact same thing.

What's happening here?

Is it me?

Are all the women the same?

And I have to change?

So I started thinking like with every issue that we had, because the same frequency of issues that I had in the nine years started to happen again.

But I was like, no, this time this is not going to happen.

I don't want to lose this one and I don't want to be a fail.

I failed in the first one.

I don't want to fail this time.

Let me start accepting that I am the problem.

Let me try to accept.

No one's going to know that I'm not going to say it out loud that I am the problem because I had this big ego.

Not to say that I'm the problem, let me try to fix it.

So I started remembering my daughter.

So I have three kids from my first marriage, Two boys, and the last one was the girl.

And I started seeing Okay.

What would I do if Celine, my daughter, starts crying and yells or shouts or like saying her own words when she's upset and angry?

When I tell her no to do not to do something and she starts crying.

What?

How?

How would I address it as a father?

I'll pick her up, kiss her, tell her baby it's okay.

I'm sorry, I I didn't mean to shout at you.

Although she would.

She did something wrong.

That's why I shouted, of course, or that's why I told her off.

But she'll be fine and then we'll be okay.

So let me try doing this one here and it's worked.

It's worked.

And I was like, wow, so it is me.

Let me try doing it again.

So again, when when I did this small change, which I accepted that I have to change not because I'm not going to be able to change every time a different woman to experiment the same thing, the same pattern of like the frequency of like fighting.

And I argue, no, it's you.

It's me.

But no, no, no, it's me.

You have to listen to me.

I'm the man.

And oh, you're the woman.

You this, you're this is my responsibility.

This is yours.

And I started again being humble and being calm and accepting.

Okay.

Fire at me.

I'm Okay.

Let's sit down, take you out of this emotional phase of yours.

And once you're back, everything is fine.

You're settled.

We made peace.

Let's sit down and discuss.

You have points.

You have now.

We're talking the same frequency.

So I I started caring more and more and I and and I started noticing like this frequency of problems started to be far away instead of fighting every single week, once in a month, once every six months, almost disappearing.

So I started mastering this technique of handling my own wife by accepting that.

And I started realizing that yes, this is something similar to what I do as a manager or as a leader in the office.

I go by myself.

I'm a general manager.

I should be sitting behind the desk and ordering my sales manager, ordering the team, go do that, go do that.

But I come down with them and do it.

So I've started realizing that the husband, the man, is a leader.

And whatever you do is to your wife or your partner, she's just the mirror.

She's just the reflection of your behavior, good or bad, and because of the bad experience.

And so I started developing this new husband knew me as a husband, knew me as a partner.

And I needed someone that I trust.

I needed some.

I need this new love or new caring to last longer.

So how can I do it?

Let's go out, Let's be friends.

As we were at the 1st when we met, friends talking, sharing, accepting each other.

And so I started realizing, wow, this new version of me handling a woman is who who kinda is like the same.

But I changed.

I can take this, this new me and put me back to the old marriage.

Like theoretically I I I could have succeeded if I had the same mentality.

And I I guarantee you 100% that I would succeed.

Oh, yes.

If that is beautiful brother, that is spot on.

Thank you for sharing that.

That right there is is priceless wisdom that if we'll stop and accept ownership and responsibility, pay attention and make those adjustments and then I love that with that just absolute certainty say yeah, I know, I know I can succeed this because of of how I'm going to change and improve and and make the most of myself.

That's awesome.

Okay.

So.

The everything we talked about has just been so good but I've genuinely have appreciated this and and your energy and and this is beautiful and and I'm glad you started right out the gates with hey it it all starts in the head first but we've got to change from the inside out and transformation even in the body is an inside job it's there let's shift just for a little bit and and give us some of the.

Like how how does a man get shredded right.

Let's say he's got 5 or 10 or £20 or £40 overweight.

He wants a six pack, he wants some muscle mass.

Just give us, give us your your best stuff.

Now what we've done the inside, where we've done the mental, emotional and that it's the process that's for the transformation.

Now give us some some mechanics of of how to.

I mean you because you want to have muscle mass be lean.

Give us your your your best stuff.

You know maybe it's maybe it's several things don't do and you've already mentioned a few and several things to do.

But give us an optimized diet workout just to get get OK and and and you stay you stay lean right.

So it's not like you get out for competition and back up and down and back up.

By the way, I've done only one competition just to try when I turned 40I.

I've never completed in my entire life and would never do that again, but I just wanted to test the journey of this competition.

So I've done it once when I turned 40 and I I competed with the master category, which is 40 and above.

So yeah, it's not a competition thing.

So it's more of a lifestyle, it's more of reality of who I am.

And yeah, I I want to make the change for myself and this is this is how I look, this is how I look 24 hours a day and 365 a year.

So yeah, it's possible.

I I don't do it for competing going out of shape and coming back because it's difficult.

I I just maintain and this is how I live and this is how we were created to live and what what I eat is like the the basic human being diets I call it.

So we were created as men to an even woman to to work and hustle out in the life and be strong.

Look at the our ancestors and how they used to hunt the like.

They go out for probably days.

No, no food, nothing.

Just probably water.

If they if they manage to get pure drinkable water and they hunt, Once they hunt, they bring back home, they feast and they eat what is what is there, what are they hunting for.

So it's just protein and fat, right?

So remember these two things, protein and fat, these are the essentials.

Carbohydrates are not essentials, which means you don't need, you don't really need them.

If they're there, it's fine.

If they're not, so you can survive without them.

So our diet, our plates are full of carbohydrates, full of carbohydrates.

And our society has been pushing carbohydrates from different sources with the beautiful marketing, beautiful dressing, beautiful packaging, ease of reach, ease of access.

Like let's take a quick snack because I'm hungry.

Carbohydrates.

High in saline, high in saline, high in saline all the time.

We always eat, we always snack.

We always like chew and we started drinking calories.

So if you go back to the basics and like, eat whenever you're hungry, sit down on the meal.

Whenever you're hungry, don't snack, which means which is what skull called the intimate of fasting.

So you you cut your snacks and eat whenever you're really hungry.

When the food is ready and when the proper food is ready, the real organic food is is ready.

So we're talking about protein as priority to maintain the muscle because protein is your blocks to build the muscle, OK?

And carbohydrates is just the fuel, the energy.

And if you only have limited capacity in your body to store this energy, excess energy will be stored in as fat.

So you have to reduce your source of carbohydrates or the source of energy and start moving more.

Now there are different types of carbohydrates, some which are pure energy and some which is very toxic to your hormones and toxic to your cells and reduces the the ability to metabolize food as as normal.

So these things which harm the most, which is alcohol and sugar.

Pure pure sugar, table sugar.

And it's in every packaging even in the yeah.

So cutting these things, starting to move, fixing your protein, nitrogen level of food intake in every meal as a man and fast as much as you can.

Push by pushing the 1st and the last meal in a smaller window during the day.

Sleeping early move at these steps like these 10,000 steps a day apart from their workout just and go to the gym to lift some some heavyweights to protect the muscles and build the muscles because muscles are the source of longevity in in the future.

We my dream is to be in my best body as as I age.

So today I'm 43.

I'm I'm the best.

Wait for me until I'm 50.

See me when I'm 60.

Come back later when I'm 70.

I'll I'll promise you to deliver the best the best.

I promise you.

I see it.

I I visually I manifest this body.

So yes I mean I I will because I know how to eat and I practice this intimate fasting every single day.

So my last meal was, I don't know, five hours ago probably.

And I woke up today morning at 5:00 AM and I only had my first meal around 12.

I had just eggs, nothing else.

So that's your protein and fat.

And lunch, I had just one meal in between, so basically just three, three meals of lovely fat and full of protein meals.

And and I'm active, I mean, and I I should be going to bed soon as well.

So waking up next day early, having that deep sleep and that's it.

No nightlife, no smoking, no drinking, no sugar, no craving, not, not at all.

I don't.

I don't want that anymore.

Yes, I love it, man.

And that I I love the way you just walked through the whole thing.

That's sustainable.

It is.

It's.

Sustainable for the rest of your life.

And it's a good, healthy way to live, Yeah.

And this is what keeps me shredded throughout the year.

Fantastic and and and I want to make sure because I I know some people are are wondering is like it can be done.

I'm a purist, right?

I'm I'm.

I don't want like the supplements or any steroids or any extra testosterone injections.

Like it can be done purely.

Good food, getting good sleep, getting toxins out of your body, Absolutely.

And you're just going to maintain because I mean everyone is talking in the industry.

That's the older you are, the lower your testosterone is.

So you need that extra push of testosterone.

You don't need it as long as you're active and as long as you're healthy in your mind and as long as you know what type of food to avoid.

And I I'm a person who seeks 100% by by everything.

I love this 100%.

People like to say my colleagues they say like say if you're too much no one will listen to you that what you're saying is like absolutely be optimum.

I'm like So what This is why not If I can do it what I will attract people who wants to do it the way I do it.

If your way of doing it is that balance, you can have like a a cheats cheesecake every week and include it into your calories, which I don't believe in calories.

I attract people who want to be 100% like me so they will look at you.

Good for them if they want to be like you, but I attract people who want this 100%.

Who wants this optimum level?

If I'm doing it, I'm the leader.

If I'm doing it, I can do it.

They definitely can do it.

So I I don't believe in having a treat here or there.

I say no.

The biggest advantage of this transformation is learning to say no, because I prioritize myself and the moment you prioritize yourself and your health, your mindsets, I I can say no to a person who probably might affect my my peace, my calmness, my G or whatever you call it.

If he's going to be an influence to disturb this calm calmness that I have, I'll just say no.

Sorry, I have to believe, avoid bad news, avoid bad people or who Negative people.

Same thing like when I go out.

People offer me something I don't care to, what they will feel if I say no, they they offer me a dessert.

I will say no, but no.

This is like rude to say no.

You have to know it's rude to offer me something that I don't want to eat and push me and force me to do something that I don't want to do.

I sit around people who drink alcohol and like they push me to drink.

You're you're a teenager, you're still underage, you cannot drink.

Ha ha ha.

So what I grew up in the environment of working in, in, in the business with the medical equipment so that we always meet up with this kickoff meetings.

So there's always going to serve alcohol.

And they, they used to push me to drink.

Now, after 18 years in this industry and they are the same people that I meet year over year, they started realizing that, well, you are the only person who said no to sugar, to sweet and to alcohol.

Look at you right now and look at us where we are all fat or miserable, and they start asking me how to change.

Well, you know it from the beginning exactly.

I've been set, for example, from the beginning.

I love it, brother.

I love it.

It's right in line with with how I live as well and and the things I teach that is so powerful.

I love it, man.

I love it.

I love that message and it's it.

It's sustainable, it's good and and and I love what you pointed out at at a very fundamental level, it's self respect.

You're literally respecting yourself and your body enough to say no.

And to draw the line and say those are my non negotiables and you don't have to be rude or me.

Just like this is where I'm this is where I'm standing.

You understand me more than anyone else.

Because you're a father and your husband.

Your health is priority to your wife and your kids.

You want to be old enough, Healthy enough to see your grand grand grandkids and be able to pick them up.

Be able to stand up without the need of you being like you know, or falling down.

No, you need to.

You would want to live the last day of your life.

This is my dream and I believe you share the same same thing.

I want to be the strongest person in my on my last day on this planet.

I don't want the help of anyone.

I will be helping everyone, but I don't want that help for myself, the physical help or anything like that, because I want to be strong both mentally and physically to the last day I live.

And this requires these sacrifices from now saying no to temptation, saying no to people, saying no to things in your life that affect this progress, this this goal, the the optimum goal.

So if I want to be 100% to reach to that level, I'm going to do that 100%.

I don't care if I make my mom upset because she cooked a lovely meal for me that might harm me.

I'll say no to to her because it's me and it's always me.

I'm responsible for myself, for my kids.

So it's just like I always like this whenever I travel on the plane and they start giving us the instructions they say when the mask falls, put it on yourself first of all and then take care of the other.

So it's a it's the perfect example of how important it is to take care of yourself first of all, so you can take care of the surrounding of the people around you.

And you are a leader as a father, as a husband, you are the leader.

Your kids look up to you.

Your wife look ups to you, it looks up to you.

So I I say something which is it's also went viral.

In one of the videos which is is reality and it's based on the quotes that we have in in in Arabic, it says if if you prepare as a husband, if you prepare the mother, she is going to be the school for the new generation And preparing the mother, it means like surrounding her with love, with the environment of Peace of Mind.

She is going to raise your kids the best and who doesn't want and you know this as a father.

Again, I love this talk with someone with the same mindset because you know what I'm saying you are.

My father told me this and he said whenever you are going to have your first son, you're going to know that no one on planet Earth wants you to be better than him, only a father to his son.

You wish your son or your daughter to be better than you, and that's the only person you want.

You don't want competition in your life.

So you will do anything to protect them.

You will do anything to make them happy as a father.

And that is through the environment.

And who is the environment?

Your wife, Your spouse making her happy.

You're off to work and limited time with the kids, but she's she's always there.

She's the mother, she's the the this beautiful garden that the kids play play around.

So take care of your garden like water her, make her beautiful, happy, glowing, and then the kids will only follow and the kids will look at you as well.

My son, my 3 1/2 year old Adam, who's a lovely mix.

He doesn't call his mom, mom.

He calls her honey.

It's because I call her honey.

I.

Love it?

Yes, that's awesome.

But that's a perfect example of how our environment is, is very much healthy.

I mean, and I I wish the same for everyone like that.

And this.

This I learned the hard way, unfortunately.

But again, if I had The Time Machine in my life to go and fix anything in the in the past, trust me, I will never fix anything.

I will accept every single moment in my life in the past because the man I am today is because of every single thing that happened in my life.

So when you're and this is an advice for the young men out there, future men, if you're down for any reason that life puts you down for, accept it and embrace it and learn from it.

Trust me, it's just a moment of time where you're going to later on laugh about this moment and how much you you cared about it.

Just ignore it.

Learn from it.

Invest in yourself learn, grow and it's it's there to make you grow.

This is your Dumbo that's going to give you a lovely vices.

Yes, yes, I love it.

Safe.

This is so awesome man.

Deeply, deeply appreciated.

How?

How can people connect with you and continue to learn from your brother?

Where?

Where do you want him to find?

Mostly?

Mostly on Instagram.

Unfortunately my Facebook page got hacked and stolen, so I'm building up a new page.

But mostly I'm very active on Instagram, Safe, Aliyasi and my website alsosafealiyasi.com.

So these are the two places that I'm putting my courses on, my information, my freebies, everything.

All once I know what I learned.

Perfect.

I'll put all those links in the show notes.

Safe man.

Thanks, brother.

This is right.

I really love.

Let me tell you, this is from my heart as well.

I've never talked this much with so much joy and happiness, but I really, truly appreciate this podcast.

You're such an amazing person and I felt the energy and that's why I've never talked this much like this.

And it shows that you have a amazing energy.

I loved it.

Thank you for listening and thank you for letting me and being patient for me to talk this much.

I love the brother.

You shared so many valuable Nuggets, man.

So much wisdom there from and thank you.

Thank you for that open honesty and sharing your journey so we can all be better because thank you very much.

Thank you.