#67 My MOST Important Message to Husbands & Fathers

Gentlemen, welcome to the VA Man Podcast.

I'm your host, Greg Denning.

Today I'm going to read an e-mail that I sent out recently.

I was all fired up and, and, you know, trying to capture some thoughts and ideas and I sent out an e-mail and I'll read, I'll read you the whole e-mail because I think it's one of the most important messages I'll ever share.

And then I got a really great response.

Somebody sincerely asking like, how is this even possible?

Is it possible?

Is it the purpose?

Should we be that level?

Should we pursuing that level is, or can we just do something else?

So I'll, I'll read the e-mail, I'll read the response and then I'll walk through it.

I want to, I want to respond to the e-mail, but it's, it's such a great question that I wanted to share in a podcast so we can get it out to more people.

And, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it and what you think about this because it's an incredibly important and challenging topic.

So here we go.

This is, this is the e-mail here.

This is one of the most important emails I will ever write.

If you are failing at any of the following dot dot dot, I'll get straight to the point.

In order for me to be a genuinely world class husband, father and businessman provider, I must be very, very good at several things.

Period.

No excuses, no exceptions, no exemptions.

If I do not consistently perform well and produce results in at least nine necessary categories, then I am living below my potential and my moral obligation to my family.

When I asked Rachel to marry me 23 years ago, I automatically committed to her to be the best friend, best partner, husband and lover I can possibly be.

I didn't have to say it or promise it or write it in some legal document.

It became an ethical responsibility and a moral obligation.

The moment she said yes.

She has every right to require and demand that of me.

So too does your wife.

Then, when our first child arrived, another obligation, responsibility, automatically went into force.

I committed and will be held responsible and accountable before God to be the best father, mentor, friend, coach, example and leader I can possibly be to my children.

My children need it and deserve it.

It was our choice to bring them into our family, not theirs.

When I chose to Make Love to my wife, I simultaneously committed to become a phenomenal father and a formidable family man.

No exceptions, no exemptions, no excuses.

So I created a measurement system for myself to regularly evaluate my performance and results.

Remember, results don't lie.

This is how I've measured myself and held myself accountable for the last 23 years.

I invite you to do the same.

Do I consistently maintain 6 pack abs?

Can I see my abdominal muscles?

This isn't for vanity, it's a great measurement of the condition of my body.

Do I consistently maintain solid full body muscles and functional fitness?

Tons of energy and vitality?

A rock solid mental fortress?

A positive, unstoppable mindset and attitude?

A deep connection with my soul and with God?

Do I consistently maintain real romance and magic in my marriage?

A best friend relationship with my wife, Real connection and profound influence with my children.

Such a great relationship with them that they want to spend tons of time with me.

Do I consistently maintain my ideal family legacy?

Do I consistently maintain an ever increasing income and ever increasing value in the marketplace?

A never ending education and skill development in my field?

Do I consistently maintain control and direction over my expenditures?

In other words, do my expenses reflect my prioritized values, or am I just spending money like most other people?

Do I consistently maintain a growing portfolio of valuable investments?

If I have levelled off, slacked off, or failed in any single one of these things, I immediately seek out coaching to level up.

Why?

Because it's obvious that I'm not crushing it at every single one of these things.

Then I need help.

If I were consistently getting the results, then I wouldn't need coaching.

The fact that I'm not consistently getting results reveals that I need coaching.

Period.

I have been able to consistently answer yes to these questions for the vast majority of the last two decades.

This is exactly why we sincerely have a genuinely extraordinary marriage and family life.

Brother, if you can't boldly and honestly answer yes to all of these, then you need a coach.

And I would say you need me as your coach.

You need the camaraderie of the Be the Man tribe and you need the tools and tactics of the be the Man master class.

OK, that's the e-mail.

So then the response that came and I got a lot of great responses, but this, this question came in and it's fantastic.

And I, I really want to share it and, and answer that.

And, and obviously I realized that e-mail is a bold statement and I believe it.

I, I sincerely believe it.

I stick by it.

That's, you know, what I'm sharing is, is what has worked for me.

And it, it gets results.

And like I said, results don't lie.

And so I'm just sharing it like, you know, it's, it's, I guess not for everybody.

I'm honestly, in an ideal world, I'll be like, yeah, every man should be living by this high standard, which those nine elements are inside the triple trifecta.

So those of you who are new, new to this podcast or to the audience, the triple trifecta, it's three things that each have three things.

So it's nine elements, right?

And so the first trifecta is fitness, and that's fitness in mind, body and spirit.

The 2nd trifecta is family, and that's marriage, parenting or fatherhood and family legacy.

And the third trifecta is finances, it's income, expenses and investments.

So it's not those nine things, right?

And, and yes, that's a high standard, but we, we want high standards.

We want to live an absolutely phenomenal life, not just an OK life, not just some mediocre humdrum existence.

And if we're going to live a great life, then we have to have high standards.

That's, that's just how it works.

High standards, great life.

Now that can get out of balance and it can get twisted and distorted and and one area can get way more attention than it should or one area can get neglected and it really gets thrown off.

But anyways, let me let me read her.

This came from a woman who's been in our audience for a very long time.

And she listened, she read the e-mail and then responded like this.

And it's a it's a great, it's a great question.

She said hi, I do not normally respond to emails like this, but I just have to say that is so much pressure.

All caps right there.

OK, I get that.

It's not so much if you are already performing on a really high level and adding one thing or getting a little bit better at something isn't too much to ask.

But to require yourself to be the man in the triple trifecta, that's a lot to do.

Do you really think?

And here's and it is, it is a lot, you're right, absolutely it is a lot.

But isn't that what we want?

Isn't that why we're here?

And I guess each of us has to ask that question.

It's like, what is it you want?

What do you want out of life?

Why are you here?

What's the purpose of your life?

Like, if you're going to be here, if you're going to be a husband, why not be the best husband you can be?

If you're going to be a father, why not be the best father you can be?

If you're going to be a provider and a protector, why not seek to be the best?

And you might not like literally be the best in the world, but you're pursuing the ideal, the vision of the best, and you're trying to be the best you can be.

I guess that's an important distinction there.

You're trying to be the very best version of you.

So you're not necessarily competing with others, but there is some real value in competition and in looking to other great role models.

When you're reading biographies and autobiographies and even actually fictional characters, you're looking at the ideals like that's absolutely phenomenal.

That's where I want to be.

I want to be green and growing and improving.

I want to be operating as my best self.

And we'll get, we'll get more into that later.

But isn't that what you want?

I, I think too often we, we just settle in to this little pit of mediocrity and we say, you know, it's good enough.

And so we get this good enough attitude, and you've heard this before, you know this already.

Good is the enemy of great.

More so in fact, I think in many instances than just outright suck.

Because when things are really terrible in your life, you experience pain.

And the pain is a great driver and motivator and catalyst for change.

But if things are good, if everything in your life is, is OK, sometimes that's the worst place we can be because there's no catalyst there.

There's no pain, there's no drive to get better, improved.

And if you don't have that inherently, if you don't feed it like a hungry animal and you just feed it so it grows and improves, then it's it's so easy.

And, and you and I have done this.

I've done it and you've done it.

We, we both know people who've done it.

You just kind of roll along.

Days turn into weeks.

Weeks turn into months.

Months turn into years.

Years quickly become decades of an OK life.

OK fitness, OK mindset, OK spiritual connection, OK marriage, OK parenting.

It's an OK family legacy.

I'm going through the triple trifecta.

It's an OK income.

We're doing OK with our expenses.

We're doing OK with our investments and you see how easy it is to get stuck there and stay there and convince yourself that it's OK.

It's OK to be OK.

And for me personally, that's just unacceptable.

I'm not OK with OK, especially.

See, for me, good is never good enough when extraordinary is possible and extraordinary is possible.

So why?

Why wouldn't we chase it?

And, and if we're having a conversation in person, I would, I would ask you that.

I would love it.

And I would love to hear your responses.

But as I've asked men all around the world, and I've, and I've worked with thousands of men, generally the, when we get down to real honesty, the honest answer is like, wow, that's exhausting.

It's a lot of effort.

That's a lot of work.

Like it's so much.

Does it have, do I have to be great?

Can I just be OK?

And we're like, why?

Why would you want to be just OK?

And generally it's some kind of something like that.

It's like, well, we're, we're intimidated by the effort, by the work.

Here's something I want to throw in though, and, and invite you to think about.

Think of something that you chased with passion and purpose and excitement, like something you just, you loved where it, it doesn't even seem like that much work anymore because you love doing it.

You have so much passion and purpose and drive and motivation like you just do it because because you love it, There's something you've done where you're just like, gosh, I could, I could do that all the time.

And you love it.

So one element is, is you really start to enjoy the process.

It doesn't even feel like that much work anymore.

It, it's actually kind of easy to do it because you love it.

You love the results you get, you love the process, you love putting in the work and effort like this is great.

So it's not all that hard to even do the thing.

Then once you achieve and OK, there's two different paths there.

One is like, yeah, it's a grind, but I'll do it anyways.

The other one's like, I really enjoy this process.

I love the grind, I love the hard work, I love the pain.

This is great.

Either way.

You get to this point where now you're, you're so much more proficient at it.

You're you're so much more effective and productive and you're enjoying the results.

And at that point you're like, man, this is worth it.

It's worth the grind.

It's worth the effort.

It's worth the struggle because when you get up here, it's easier to maintain, it's easier to stay.

And it's it's way more enjoyable.

It's so much more enjoyable to be wealthy than to be broke.

It's so much more enjoyable to have an extraordinary marriage than one that's just just barely hanging on.

And there's a lot of fighting, a lot of contention, a lot of disagreement.

We're just, we're just existing.

We're we're just just preventing divorce versus man, we are madly in love.

Yeah, that takes a lot more work.

But man, it's so worth it.

And the the work is enjoyable and the reward is incredibly enjoyable.

Same with kids.

You can do the bare minimum and just, you know, cross your fingers and hope your kids turn out well.

Hope isn't a strategy.

OK, and here, here's another really critical point here.

Yes, it requires a massive amount of work to level up and be your best.

But guess what?

It also requires a massive amount of work to suck.

And the results are horrible.

And it is miserable.

And, and what made me think of that is, is your kids.

You can put in tons of work to help your kids become phenomenal human beings, or you can just hope they turn out and deal with all the consequences of results of them making bad decisions and doing terrible things.

And either way, having kids is an insane amount of work.

And having phenomenal kids and having horrible kids, or, you know, kids that are doing horrible things.

Both of those are a ridiculous amount of work, and one comes with inexplicable suffering and sorrow and remorse, and the other comes with inexplicable reward and joy and fulfillment and happiness and peace.

Either way, it's a ton of work.

There's no way you're getting out of the work that's required to be a father.

So for me, I'm like, well, I want the rewards.

I want my kids to be absolutely superb human beings and they do incredible things.

I want to have a world class relationship with my kids.

So I'm going to put in that work.

Either way, it's work.

I'm going to put in that work and I'm going to get the rewards.

But then as you do it with everything, with, with fitness, with family, with finances, as you do it, it gets easier.

It's that quote from Emerson where he said that which we persist in doing becomes easier to do.

Not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our ability to do it has increased.

So it gets easier.

So then you're putting in the work and at first you're like, well man, this is a new habit.

It's a lot of work.

I'm not used to doing this.

It feels tiring, it feels overwhelming, but you keep getting in the work and then you start to enjoy the work and the effort and you get into the habit.

It gets easier and they start to enjoy the rewards.

It gets even easier.

But then pretty soon, and it can happen so quickly, when I start coaching, I do personal coaching or coaching people than in the master class and tribe.

The changes can come quickly, within weeks or months, like total transformations in your overall fitness and well-being, in your family and in your finances.

It's incredible.

I help men double, triple, quadruple their income, start new businesses.

I help men revamp their income, their expenses, their investments.

I help them recreate their marriage.

Recently helped a couple.

They were on our first call.

It was just several weeks ago, our very first call.

They were like I'm done, I'm done, I'm out.

Like we're getting divorced.

This is horrible.

We've just been fighting non-stop for years.

And I gave him some tools.

Within weeks, Within just a few short weeks, they were writing me, responding, saying you're an answer to prayers, that you're just such a blessing in our lives, like our marriage has never been this good.

And I followed up with him again yesterday, Same thing.

Our marriage has never been this good in just a few weeks.

So what was the suffering and misery and frustration for years is now so much better than it's ever been in just a few weeks.

So you can do that with your kids and with your marriage and with your family legacy.

And we can do that with your mind, your body, and your spirit.

So it doesn't take that long and it starts to be enjoyable and fun and fantastic.

So then you're operating optimized, right?

You're feeling amazing on all these areas of your life.

And once you're going, you realize it's actually not that hard.

It's hard to get started, but once you get over the inertia, it's not that hard and the rewards are absolutely worth it.

OK, let me let me continue with her e-mail.

Do you really think everyone has the moral obligation to do that?

Yes, I do.

If you're married, you have a moral obligation to be the best spouse you can be.

If you have children, yes, you have a moral obligation to be the best parent you can be.

Yep, I, I do believe that.

And, and you might not have chosen that.

You might not have known that when you signed up, but.

Oh, if you're married, you have a moral obligation to be the best spouse to that person because that person is committed to live with you, man, like another human being is committed and you've committed to them to you're going to live together.

You're going to do your life together.

That's tough.

That's a lot.

That's a lot to ask of somebody.

So if you're married, yes, you have a moral obligation to be the best spouse you can be.

If you have children, even if they were an accident, so to speak, whatever, you have a kid and you have a moral obligation to be the best parent you can be to that, to that child.

They deserve that because they come in just little babies they don't know.

They were just put into your world.

You've, yes, you have an ethical responsibility to be the best you can be, she continues in her e-mail.

Is that really the point of life, to be the best version of yourself?

Yes.

From my perspective, yes.

The purpose of life is to become the very best version of yourself.

I've thought about that.

I've read, I've read, you know, I've averaged a book a week for well over two decades.

I've read across, you know, almost all religions and and traditions and cultures across time and space, ancient books and recent books.

I've read and studied and talked to people all over the world.

I've travelled extensively through 60 plus countries and this has been on my mind for decades.

What is the real true deep purpose of life?

And wholeheartedly I believe, and this is, this is from a broad, broad study.

It's not just one little area.

I, I really do sincerely believe the purpose of life is to make the most of yourself to become the very best version of you, you can be.

I really believe that.

And I think we're hard wired for that.

And, and you can relate to this, especially for a man, if he is living below his potential, it tears him up inside.

We, we as men, it just eats us up when we know we're capable of more.

So many good men come to me for coaching and join the join the master class simply because their lives are good, their lives are good, their health's good, marriage good, things are good.

But they know they have more potential.

They have more capacity, they can do more and be more.

And that drives men.

Because it, it eats us up in our minds and our souls and our hearts and we're like, you know what?

I did well, but you know, and only, you know, like you can, you can perform.

I had, I had a coaching client say, you know, I, I was the best in the company.

I just absolutely crushed it.

But between me and you, I know there was still more, there was more capacity.

I know I pulled up short.

I could have done more.

Even though I was the best in the company, I know I could have done more.

There was still more capacity.

And that just just eats at us.

We're hard wired for it, I think.

I think spiritually hard wired, but also like physiologically in our brains, we are hard wired, improve to learn, to grow, to better ourselves.

So to her question, is it really the point of life to be the best version of yourself?

Yes, hands down.

Because what's the alternative to be a mediocre version of yourself?

Are you going to be content with that?

You going to be happy with that at the end of your life?

Are you going to be like, like, yes, I was so OK.

I think that will drive us crazy throughout our lives and at the end of our lives, she continues.

How can people relax if they are constantly on edge about this leading to this or that meaning a bad diet or sleeping in or emotions not being ideal and that, that's a really interesting and disciple question.

As we increase our efforts, we all have to also have to increase our recovery.

So you increase.

There's an excellent book called The Powerful Engagement and they talk about liberally increasing stress and then simultaneously increasing recovery.

More stress, more recovery, more stress, more recovery.

So there should be recovery.

I'm not, I'm not necessarily sure that relaxing is the same word as recovery, but there's plenty of room for relaxing and for enjoying life.

So what I am not saying at all in the e-mail or in this podcast or in my message is that there's no time to enjoy life.

In fact, it's just the opposite.

We ought to spend plenty of time just deeply enjoying life.

I love my life.

I crazy love my life and I have tons of time to relax.

I have, I enjoy amazing inner peace, like I'm completely comfortable in my own skin and with where I am.

In fact, in fact, I would say striving to be your best is the only way to truly relax.

Because if you're not striving to be your best, that means you're, you're, you're acquiescing.

You're settling for less.

You're, you know, you're, you're doing less than you're capable of.

You can't relax like a a man who knows he can and should do more cannot truly relax because his mind is going to torment him.

His soul is going to torment him.

His getting and then his wife and kids are going to torment him and his employees and his teammate in the economy and illness and and all those things are going to torment him.

If I'm just OK in my health and fitness, then life is going to torment me.

There's going to be all kinds of all kinds of situations, opportunities that are tormenting me because I'm not as healthy as I could be.

There's going to be all kinds of things in economy and life that are tormenting me because I'm not where I need and could be.

Financially and family circumstances and situations are constantly going to be tormenting me because I'm not being the caliber of husband and father I can be.

So I would say the opposite.

It's only when we are truly striving to be our best selves and striving I'm not.

There's no arrival at perfection.

You're just striving.

You're trying.

You're really truly trying.

That's the only time you can truly relax 'cause you're like, yeah, I am literally doing my best.

And that's not an excuse.

I'm not, it's not a cop out.

It's not like I did my best.

OK, leave me alone.

When you know full well you didn't give your best, but when you really genuinely are doing your best, you can relax 'cause you're just like I'm, I'm doing my best, I'm good and we should relax daily.

So kind of micro dosing and vacations and huge breaks like macro dosing where you take a week or a few months off just to be, to be with, to spend time with God and to be with your family and to go serve and make a contribution and do something in the world to really truly enjoy all that life has to offer.

So absolutely you totally relax.

And it, it's, it's this interesting dynamic of she says, you know, aren't you constantly on edge?

And, and I'm, I'm not constantly on edge, but I am constantly aware of my performance.

And that doesn't, it doesn't bother me, it doesn't stress me, it doesn't worry me.

I'm just cognizant like, hey, I've, I've got to keep up these things because of who I want to be, the caliber of man I want to be.

So I got to watch these things, I got to measure them.

I got to keep a, a finger on the pulse, so to speak.

So I'm not on edge and I'm, I'm like fulfilled and excited about the results I'm creating by starting to be my best self, OK?

She continues.

I think the purpose of life or meaning is whatever someone chooses it to be.

As Viktor Frankel explains in his book and his book, Man's Search for Meaning is absolutely world class.

And he points out in there that we are tormented in life and most of the problems in life come because we lack meaning.

I love that book.

Love, love, love that book.

And, and I highly suggest you read it and reread it all the time.

I would say from my perspective, his point is more in line with with what I'm saying.

Here's like, you have to live a life of meaning and purpose and it can't be something that's frivolous and weak and empty.

And you know, well, my, my meaning is to relax all the time.

That's my meaning.

Like it won't work for you because psychologically you're hardwired to be progressing and growing and improving and making a contribution and, and becoming your best self.

It'll tear you up, right?

Like even Maslow's hierarchy of needs, where the highest point is self actualization.

And if we're not making a contribution, if we're not growing, if we're not self actualizing, becoming our best selves, it's going to, it's going to tear us up.

So it won't work.

And some would be like, well, my, my meaning is to become the best video gamer in the world or my meaning is to make all this money.

Those guys will tell you, you know, long the journey at the end of their lives.

Like, yeah, it was, it left me empty.

It wasn't fulfilling, it wasn't meaningful.

I climbed the, the I had my ladder against the wrong wall.

And there's so many stories and examples of that where we get misaligned and, and we're chasing something that ends up just being empty when we're going after the, the claims and the status and the title and the position and the honors and all this stuff.

Usually, man, it didn't even matter that much.

So we have to be doing stuff that matters.

So is it, is it whatever meaning someone chooses?

Yes, absolutely.

Like, because meaning is individual and unique and different and every, every man will have a different meaning.

But at least from my perspective, the way I see it, they're going to be common denominators where we all kind of cross the board like that.

These are the things that just work.

And, and this is across the the swath of humanity, right across generations and cultures and traditions are just things that that matter And common denominator is where we, we, we, we can agree.

And again, the emphasis of this e-mail and this message was, look, if you're a husband, if you're married, become the best spouse you can be.

If you have children, become the best parent you can be.

If you have to provide and protect, become the best provider you can be.

So she continues.

Maybe someone chooses to live a simple life and not manage his entire triple trifecta.

I don't think those are contradictory.

I think you can live a simple life and still manage the triple trifecta.

As I thought about that, this was years, this was years and years and years of study and research and working with thousands of people across 5 continents that I came up with the triple trifecta and, and I went through it again and again and again.

And it's like, I just, I wanted to get it to bare bones.

Like what are the absolutely essentials?

And, and I didn't have nine.

I didn't have any number in my head.

I'm like, I just want to, as I'm researching this, what are the bare bone essentials?

What are the things that just cannot be left out?

And when I came down to it was like those things, fitness, family and finances, they've got to be there.

And of course, faith is built into the the first part of fitness.

Those are those are the essentials, right?

Those nine things are the essentials of what it means to be the man.

OK, let's keep going.

So and then she says, well, what about your wife?

She is a person.

So does she need to be the ma'am?

And she says notice ma'am, not man ha ha, which I thought was really insightful.

Does my wife also need to be, does she have a moral obligation to be the best mom and the best wife and and the best provider she can be?

From my perspective, yes, absolutely.

And and she would agree.

And she leans into this as much as I lean into my roles.

Same thing is like if she if she's committed to be a wife, then she has a moral obligation to be the best wife she can be.

If she has children, then she has a moral obligation to be the best mom she can be.

And those swing the the nine things I think also kind of fit.

There's different roles and different elements of that where I have more, at least in our marriage, I have more responsibility and some things that she does.

And then vice versa, she'll have roles where she has more responsibility than I do.

And, and and we we divide that up joyfully with by choice and and it works out really well and we love it.

So continues in the e-mail here.

You are impressive, no doubt about that, like a Navy SEAL.

But how do you relax?

Or maybe relaxing isn't enjoyable to you.

Maybe it's the progress that is enjoyable as the quote progress equals happiness.

But goodness I like relaxing lol.

And like I said, I do too and I spend plenty, plenty of time relaxing and just being enjoying life.

Took my, my daughters were just pleading to go over in the, in the mountains, in the forest above the beach.

So where we live, there's these gorgeous beaches and then these huge cliffs and on top of the cliffs for these, these forests.

And so we just went walking through the forest, went down to the beach and just we're looking at the flowers and trees and the sand and the rocks.

And it was unbelievable, fantastic.

And we do that often.

In fact, every single morning I go out with my dogs early in the morning and we walk around our property or we go down to the beach or into the mountains and I, I listen to great spiritual texts and then other good books and, or, or I just think or pray or meditate.

So I, I literally relax everyday.

And so it's, it's not like I'm go, go, go, go, go just grinding all the time.

I, I don't think, I don't think grinding constantly is help is healthy at all.

And yes, I love the progress.

It's also enjoyable and fulfilling and meaningful.

She, she ends up ends her e-mail like that.

She says, well, I really enjoyed that thought process.

I really wonder if you have that high of expectations for everyone or if it is because you are marketing this, amp it up, so to speak, or if you have that high expectations for everyone, man, wouldn't you be disappointed in nearly everyone because we are all so much lower than that bar.

And that's a great question, a great thought process, and I'm so grateful for that e-mail and that thought.

No, I'm not disappointed in everyone.

I learned a long time ago from my own journey that we're all at a different spot and we're all accountable for what we know.

And like Stephen Covey pointed out, to know and not to do is really not to know.

And so I'm not, I'm not going to be disappointed in people who don't know or who are trying.

I guess it is disappointing when people do genuinely know better and then they just choose not to do it and they choose to acquiesce and settle for less than their best and just kind of exist instead of truly live.

That is disappointing.

But honestly, like in, in a way, it's none of my business.

Like, however a person chooses to live that that's up to them that they get those consequences, they they get those rewards.

Like that's their life.

It's not affecting me.

I'm going to live my life and I'm going to live it to the very best I can.

And I love my life.

You know, my wife and I, we have 7 amazing children and we genuinely are living our dream life and we're chasing big dumb goals.

DUMB as an acronym I came up with demanding, unrealistic, meaningful, and bold.

We're chasing dumb goals and we're living our dream life and we love it.

And if other people decide to just level off instead of level up, OK, that's on them.

Like it does, it doesn't affect me.

And they get to choose that path.

So even for my kids, I was like, man, you guys, you guys get to live however what you want.

Like do your thing.

If you want to do something else, if you want to like do nothing with like, OK, that's whatever.

That's on you.

It's just like, it's your choices.

Those are consequences and they get it.

But my kids want it.

They're hungry for it.

And they found that that balance of, of chasing greatness and, and genuinely enjoying the journey in life and relaxing and, and grinding and, and figuring that out.

And they love it.

They want to be their, their best selves and the people I get an influencer like that.

So am I disappointed everyone?

No, not at all.

And I'm not judging other people by my standard.

I'm not judging them by where I am.

I would say I do quote, judge people by where they are, but that's a that's a very kind and generous and graceful judgement, so to speak.

It's like, well, they're, they're doing what they're doing because that's where they're at.

And that's, that's perfectly OK.

Like I'm not condemning.

I guess I would say the one place where I, I get intense is when people genuinely do no better and they're just choosing to acquiesce or settle for less.

No, Sir, gentlemen, that is unacceptable.

We've got to level up.

And I guess when we're, we purposely neglect our, our duties as husbands and, and fathers and providers and protectors.

Woo Hoo, Hoo.

Oh, that one gets me.

Because we have, we have that moral obligation and that ethical responsibility to rise up.

So anyways, thanks, thanks for listening, thanks for being here, thanks for your efforts and desire to be your best.

I, I really do think that is one of the most important messages I'll ever share that because I asked my wife to marry me and she said, yes, I have the responsibility to be my best, the best husband I can be.

Because we have children.

I have a responsibility to be the best father I can be because it's my responsibility to provide and protect.

I've got to do that in the best way possible.

And the best way I have found hands down is the triple trifecta.

And that's why I love teaching it and sharing it and and doing the coaching And we meet every week.

It wouldn't be the man tribe.

And we discuss some specific element of what it means to be a a world class family man, a formidable family man.

To be tough and be hard to kill, but easy to love and to be prepared and to be good and to make a contribution to your family and to the world and to be settled and happy with yourself in your mind, body and spirit.

I mean, this stuff is awesome.

So we would love to have you be a part of the be the man tribe.

If you're interested, reach out, schedule a a consultation call with me.

Let's let's jump on a call.

Let's talk and walk through those things because if you're feeling this, this call, this desire, this drive to to be your best self to level up.

Answer the call, brother.

Answer the call because there is nothing, nothing as good as living life as your best self.

And with the right tools and the right tactics, the right systems and strategies, it's actually quite easy.

It's not near as hard as people might think it is.

We, we struggle in the beginning is because we don't have the leverage.

We're trying to, we're trying to build, trying to build a huge structure with a hammer like that's miserable, man.

He needs some power tools and some leverage.

And once it happens, you're like, oh man, this is way easier than I thought it was.

And it's far, far, far more rewarding than it is to live below your, your capacity.

So thanks for listening, Thanks for caring.

Thanks for the good you do in your family and in the world.

So let's get out and get after it.

Be the man.