#69 How to make family time AMAZING

Gentlemen, welcome to the V Man Podcast.

I'm your host, Greg Denning.

Today we're going to talk about an awesome question I got from a loving wife who wants to level up her marriage and wants to help her husband level up.

I love getting questions like this because, well, one, because it shows, it shows love and it shows desire.

It shows that you're married to a good woman who wants to rise, who wants to be her best and have you be your best so that the family can maximize this potential and you guys can live an extraordinary family life.

It's so awesome.

So really fantastic question here.

I'm going to hit some stuff hard if you'll let me and just be be blunt and forthright as I always try to be.

And we'll have a great conversation here.

But first, I want to share, well, sure, how we started our day and then share a couple cool announcements.

My kids of their own accord, my three teenagers here at home, decided to wake up at 6:00 and go jump in the ocean.

It was still dark.

And where we live, it is summertime.

But where we live, we live kind of near a peninsula.

And so there's wind coming off the ocean from both directions.

So it's it's always pretty, pretty cool.

And if you've ever been in the Atlantic, the Atlantics cold.

And so we went down there at 6:00, bombed it in the ride in the water, no hesitation, right?

And that's the key.

If we want to do something that's uncomfortable, just go for it.

Just full send.

If you're going to jump off a Cliff, just jump.

If you're going to get in the cold water, just get in the cold water.

Just sitting there and Hemming and hawing and, and freaking yourself out and psyching yourself out and making it worse and just get in and go for it.

So I started the day early morning in the dark in the ocean with my kids.

It's that's a great way to start the day.

And then we did some driving lessons with my daughter who's doing fantastic and then got into our personal individual morning routines and then our family morning routine switch.

Both of those are absolutely essential.

Brother, if you're not, if you're not consistently doing your own personal morning routine that that activates your mind, body and spirit and you're missing out a ton.

I, I would say that's one of the most powerful things that I've done consistently over my life.

If there's been something that's been really transformative for my life, that's it.

That I've been super consistent in a morning routine that activates my mind, body and spirit.

Additionally, if you're not yet doing a family routine ritual with with your family together in the morning, Also missing out on tons of great bonding moments, great teaching moments, a great opportunity to connect and get minds and hearts and bodies ready for the day.

Get them because we they don't get there by default.

Brother, you know this already.

Our minds, our bodies, our spirits, our emotions, they don't get there by default there.

We don't just wake up and bam, I'm in the right mindset and the right frame of mind I'm in, you know, my emotional states, fantastic, my spirits ready.

So we have to we have to get there.

We have to work on it.

And so setting up something every single morning that we do individually do that we do as a family is the golden ticket to making this happen.

It is so powerful and so profound.

So make sure that's happening not 100% of the time, but what does success look like for you?

I would say 8590% of the time is success.

That's awesome.

So, so make that happen.

So then OK, a couple of announcements I got to share because I'm crazy stoked about them.

Number one, we still have a couple spots left for our asset training that's happening in November of 2024 here at our place in Portugal.

We are going to go over medical like how to stop bleeding, how to well, how to treat somebody that's that's hurt and, and take care of them until the next level of medical help arrives.

So if you're in any kind of Backcountry in the wilderness, you're traveling wherever you're, you're separated from quick medical help.

We've got to have the skills to save lives to to use tourniquets, bandaging, all kinds of stuff.

So we're going to go over that and then we're going to do like combatives, how to protect ourselves, how to use everyday type weapons and what what that actually is like and, and all kinds of other stuff too.

It's going to be amazing.

The whole idea is here we're going to get hard skills to be an asset for our families and for our communities.

So that's happening November 18th through the 23rd in Portugal.

Got a couple, just a couple spots live this filling out very quickly.

The other thing we're doing that super excited about is we're, we're doing an invitation through application to come and, and do have a kind of a world schooling experience to come stay here at the world school family Resort resort with your family and kind of a family study abroad experience.

And man, we are already getting tons of applications.

That's filling out quickly too.

There's a lot of rad families coming and staying here, having this experience as a family internationally, getting involved in all kinds of cool stuff, connecting with other great families.

It is awesome.

Then also, I am Rachel and I are relaunching our parent mentoring course where we've been recording that working on it.

It's coming out soon.

Like what it means to be a mentor versus just a parent.

There is a difference and the ideal for raising great kids and helping them maximize their potential and become superb human beings and great adults is to be a parent mentor.

So that's coming out soon.

So heads up for that.

And then absolute gold, gentleman, Absolute gold.

I reached out to a lot of wives and I asked them to very specific questions.

What is it that your husband does that is a big turn off for you?

And what is it that your husband does that is a big turn on for you?

And I got so many fantastic responses.

I'm compiling those all.

I'm going to be releasing that soon.

And I'm going to create a course to go with it.

And the patterns that are in there, the the common denominators and just just what they said right from the mouth of our wives telling us what to do, what to do.

And it's, it's simple stuff.

It's powerful stuff.

And it is the key gentleman to more intimacy.

So that's coming really soon.

Get excited about that.

You got to get your hands on as soon as it comes out because it is absolute gold.

OK, let's dive in.

Here we go.

So a loving wife reached out and said, how do I get my husband more interested in spending time with us?

Wow, man, right there.

OK, and and I hear this, I hear this too often, gentlemen, too often where wives are consistently asking like, hey, how can I get my husband to be more present, more engaged, more involved?

Why isn't he just automatically spending more time with me and with the kids?

Like what's going on?

And that is a sobering, sometimes condemning, but definitely awakening reality check.

Question for us fellas.

Are we interested in spending time with our wives and children and are we actually doing it?

It's huge.

It's super huge, she continues.

He always says he needs to chill and then he just sits on his phone.

Man, fellas, I hear that one a lot too.

I hear, I hear, I hear it from men and I hear it from women and I hear from kids like teens.

I get to work with teens too.

And as long as I have teens, I'm going to have offer offer some things for teens to inspire them and motivate them and help them create great habits for life.

We just started the Habits for a successful life again for teenagers.

It's awesome.

Men often think I need to chill, I need to wind down, I need some alone time, I just need to relax.

I just need to recover.

And yes, we need recovery.

Absolutely, 100%.

We need stress and we need recovery.

We need to push ourselves and then we need to recover from that.

But scrolling on our phones is not recovery.

I want to I want to hit that home like and watching sports, watching the news, just random YouTube videos.

That's not recovery, gentlemen.

This is wasting time and life.

And like, who was it that said it was?

I think Franklin, he said, do you love life?

Then don't squander time because time is the stuff that life is made of And, and we're, we're using that.

So it's kind of a lie we tell ourselves, right?

Oh, I need, I need, I just need to chill.

I just need some downtime.

I just need to unwind.

No, it's a lie.

It's honestly, it's a lie.

And then we use that as an excuse to waste our time and do fluffy stuff.

It's like, you know, I just, I just need, I need to refuel my body.

And then you go eat Donuts.

Like, dude, you're not refueling anything.

You're poisoning yourself, right?

So yes, we need recovery.

And so the first question is, gentlemen, how can we get better recovery?

What can you do to actually get recovery so that you're not well?

OK, that has to happen.

But there also needs to be thing this question of like, what, what are you consistently doing to maintain your energy levels and, and activate like we talked about activating your mind, body and spirit.

If you had solid morning routines and solid evening routines, you wouldn't have to be like, Oh, I need a break.

Oh, I need to unwind.

Oh, I need to chill.

Like we become so needy because we're so weak and we're only weak, gentlemen, because we're not doing simple things that keep us strong, that keep us awake, energized and alive.

Those those are to me, it's not negotiable.

I got to have insane amounts of energy.

I have to and I have to have vitality and clarity of mind and purpose.

I got to be alive, not just merely existing.

I just dragging myself to the day and I can't wait to just plop down and do nothing, stare at my phone.

No way.

So we got to keep those things up so we stay energized and alive.

And then what can you do to get better recovery?

And, and I would say because you have a wife, because you have children, your recovery needs to be fast, man.

You can't be sitting there like can I have 4 hours in the evening to get recovery?

No way.

Sometimes all you use 4 minutes.

And guess what fellas?

That's often enough if you know what you're doing, if you know how to recover well.

And that's one thing I am just absolutely mastered.

I'm so fast at recovery and so I can push my limits and I can recover and I can push my limits and I can recover and I'm back in the game so I can show up.

And instead, gentlemen, let this hit home.

Instead of giving our wives and our children leftovers at the end of the day, we get to give them our best stuff in the morning and in the evening and on the weekends.

We have to fellas, we have to.

So get off your phone.

One of my coaching clients, we were talking about this and he just decided to leave his phone at work, which I think is an absolute genius idea.

Another client I had he, he built a little holster in his garage.

So when he pulled in the garage, went and put his phone in there and he went inside without it.

I have other clients that have decided that like 0 phones in their bedrooms period.

And I would highly encourage all of you to set up no phone zones.

Like there's certain spots in your house and certain times of the day or certain days of the week.

We're just phones are not allowed period.

I think it's fantastic.

It's an excellent idea because the phones are taking over our lives for for us and for our kiddos.

But you know, we often the kids, it's kids, the kids, but we're just as guilty.

Get off those phones.

So may I make an invitation, fellas?

That never again do we say to our wives and our kids, I just need to chill.

Oh, I just need some downtime.

I just need to unwind and then we get on our phones.

Unacceptable.

This is poor behavior.

That's none of you would if I asked you like, hey, make a list of of the principles and practices you live by as your very best self.

None of you would be like, when I get home, I just chill on my phone, right?

Never going to happen.

You're not going to say that.

You're not going to be like, that's my best behavior, that's my best self in action right there.

No way.

So don't do it.

It's just a lie.

It's just an excuse.

It's just a cop out.

You're buffering, you're avoiding, you're numbing, but you are not recovering.

OK.

So she continues.

One day, or sometimes he'll even play video games while the kids and I are outside doing activities.

And if you'll let me, fellas, I'm going to drop the hammer hard.

That's inexcusable.

That's embarrassing.

Are you kidding me?

As a grown man, as the leader of your family, you're inside acting like a little boy.

As little boys play video games, you're inside acting like a little boy while your wife is leading your family to actually play real games, to actually be in life instead of a virtual escape.

I know, I know, I'm dropping the hammer here, fellas.

And I'm doing it with love, but that's dead serious.

And on that note, on that note, video games, Oh, you know, maybe I'll come back to, I'll come back to it.

Games are just a distraction from real life and there are real consequences.

And there's a lot of cool research that's coming out recently.

So she continues.

She's like, I'm wondering how it is that you and she's referring to me, how it is you have a desire to stay so connected and be so present with your family.

And then she says, well, do I just need to accept that it it's his life and and when we go on vacation, it's his vacation.

And when we're doing things, it's his too.

And should I just let him sit there?

And, and my response to that is absolutely not no way, ladies and any ladies here listen to this.

No way.

Do not let your husband just sit there, gentlemen.

Don't allow yourself to just sit there and do not ask your wife or force your wife to tolerate you just sitting there.

It's it's one level of lame to just waste your life.

It is a totally different worst level of lame to waste your life and force or insist that your wife tolerates that.

No way.

We should be holding a high standard for ourselves and we, our wife should be holding a high standard for us.

That's fantastic.

That's what she's there for.

She's there to hold a standard.

So no way should we just be sitting around and expecting our wives to just deal with it or our kids.

It's inexcusable.

No way.

So the personal question to me is like, hey, well, how do you have so much desire to spend time with your family?

I absolutely love it.

That's why I genuinely, sincerely love it.

Now, some of you might be like, oh, like how do you love it?

Like, don't you like doing manly things or more mature things?

Like how do you love it?

Because I'm very deliberate about creating a family environment and family relationships and family activities that are so enjoyable and so fun.

I want to be with my family all the time.

So I work from home and I have for many years.

And we decided to do that because I wanted to be here.

We have most days have three meals a day together and we've done that for years and years and years.

We love being together.

We've traveled all over the world together.

We've taken our kids to over 50 countries so far and we travel extensively and for long periods of time.

That's, that's kind of our unique family dream.

But early on, like, OK, so here's here's where some scenarios were like, why wouldn't you like, well, it's because my wife gets annoying or my kids get annoying or they're not very fun or they're doing dumb things that I'm not interested in, Right.

These are all the things that might, you might be thinking, or you might, I'd rather do this.

I'd rather do that.

What I did is like, no, man, I my marriage is my most important relationship period in the world and next has my kids, right and my relationship with each one of them and our relationship collectively, our family culture and dynamics, our family legacy.

I love it.

And so I'm intentional about making it fun and enjoyable for everybody.

So what I'm about to say is that like, hey, we all do what dad likes to do and you guys have to sacrifice.

But neither is it the other side of like, oh, we only do what kids like to do and dad never gets to do anything he likes to do.

The the ideal is we find this common ground where we're all doing things that we love to do together.

For example, I absolutely love exercise, crazy love exercise.

And it's so important.

I exercise every day.

Well, almost every day, I guess.

In general, I do two days a week, I do lighter exercises like stretching or just walking or whatever, just moving my body gently.

And then the other days I hit it hard.

But I love, I love adventurous activities like paddle boarding and mountain biking and rock climbing and hiking and mountaineering and on and on.

I mean, there's so many cool things I love to do and snowboarding and skiing.

I love it.

I love adventure, I love activities.

So when I got married, my wife didn't want to work out and I was like, oh man, the disappointment was insane.

And I was like, well, I'll just persuade her to, I'll get her to love it.

And she never did.

So we've been in 23 years, she just never did.

And so I'm like, OK, well, I'm still workout by myself.

And but it felt like time away from family.

And, and if I'm ever doing anything away from my family, like I'm going to make it as short as possible and I'm going to make sure it's important.

I'm not wasting time away from my family, but I made a commitment on like, I'm going to make sure my kids love working out.

So all of my children, all seven of my kids love working out because I deliberately helped them to love it.

And as they get old enough, they love working out hard.

So now every day that I work out, I'm working out with my kids and it's amazing.

So that's, that's, that's kind of the metaphor for everything I'm talking about here.

Like learn how to take something that's really good for you and that you really enjoy doing and get your family involved.

Like get involved with good things.

Don't pick something stupid and be like, I love watching worthless, stupid TV shows all the time.

Yay, kids, let's watch TV show every night.

Or hey, babe, let's waste away our life by staring at a screen every night together.

Yay.

Don't do that crap.

Pick something that's good, that's edifying, that gets you a that you're really living.

Like, measure it by that.

Like, is this really living or is it merely existing?

And then help your kids love it.

Now you're like, yeah, that's a lot of work.

Yeah, it is.

So what do it?

It's worth it?

Like, oh, that's a lot of money.

I have to, I have to buy skis and snowboards and winter gear and season passes for all my kids.

Yep, buckle up, brother, earn the money.

Oh man, I have to buy plane tickets for everybody.

Yes, I got to buy rock climbing harnesses for the whole family.

Yep.

Oh, I got to buy bikes and and skateboards and scooters and motorcycles and all that.

Yep, you do so level up your income without spending too much time away from your family.

Like that's, that's why we have to optimize, gentlemen.

That's why we have to make this this work and lean into this.

And I, I know this is hard to hear, but that's great, right?

Is we got to hear the hard things that are hard to hear and we got to embrace the challenge, embrace the responsibility.

Like, no, I got to level up here because I want to be a world class dad and I want to have an absolutely extraordinary family.

So invest.

So what do you need to do so that you like you're genuinely interested in spending more time with your wife and children?

What do you need to do?

Who do you need to become because you're the leader?

I my guess is a lot of you have not been acting like a leader.

You've been acting like a participant and maybe sometimes like a really honorary unpleasant, just the guy that people don't want to be around.

And if you're angry, like if you OK, I hear this, I hear this a lot too, because I get to talk to the thousands of people across 5 continents all the time.

And so I hear all the stuff and, and I hear, I hear children or youth or young adults or wives be like, yeah, we actually, we don't like, we don't like it when he comes because he gets angry all the time.

We don't like it when he comes because he's always so stressed.

He's always so worried.

We don't like it when he comes because he's just, he's not very fun.

He's unpleasant.

So in a lot of ways, fellas, we've probably been collaborators, or they call it collusion, where you create the very thing you don't want.

And so if you're unpleasant to be around, if you're stressed all the time, if you're worried, if you're just always no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and just you're just the grumpy old guy.

Well, guess what?

They don't like spending time with you either.

And so then that's why you're like, why I don't really like spending time with them, It's because they don't like spending time with you.

That's because you're grumpy and so all you got to do is shift to be like, Nah, man, I'm going to have a great attitude.

I'm going to be the yes man.

I'm going to say yes to cool activities.

I'm going to lead the way.

I'm going to set things up so it's fun and I'm going to be fun to be around so that my kids want to spend time with me, right?

And then if you level up, they want to spend time with you.

Guess what?

You want to spend time with them.

It's incredible.

Then you help them with skills and it might be like, oh man, wow, my kids love riding bikes with me, but they can barely ride their bike and they can barely keep up.

I get it.

I totally get it.

And guess what?

For all those early years when my kids were little, like I loved hiking, I would, I would have them hike as long as they could.

When they got exhausted, I carried them.

Sometimes carried two or three kids, No joke.

I carried him right, kept me in fantastic shape and they love hiking.

So now we can go far and we can go fast.

We're biking.

Early on, I'd let him bike as far as they could and then I would like push their bikes so I could go running or I would like throw them on my bike.

We would dig them farther, put them in a trailer, bike trailer, or I put them in a running store when they were tiny.

I had them in a running store rather just put in the miles, right?

And then they want to get out and go.

And while they're, you know, going at their slow pace, I was doing lunges and air squats and push ups.

And I was like, hey, get on my back.

I'm going to do some push ups with them on there.

I'm like, I'm going to do some air squats, get on my shoulders and I'm making it a blast.

And guess what?

They love doing adventures with me.

They love doing hard things.

So with four of my teens, we went in February and climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and then with all of us, we went and did a safari.

It was legit super awesome.

Here's me.

So design a family lifestyle that you absolutely love, brother.

Take lead, man.

You are the king in your Kingdom.

Stop acting like a little pond.

Stop acting like like a little peasant in your own Kingdom.

Be the king.

And if there's something you don't like, improve it.

If there's something in your marriage relationship that you don't like, then prove it.

It always starts with you.

And I know you're thinking like, well, but if my wife would do this or my kids would do that, like you are the catalyst, be the change.

And guess what, it'll start to happen.

But it's is 100% on you, Sir, 100%.

You are the catalyst for your family, right?

It and I, I've seen that so many times.

It helps so many men transform their families by taking ownership of that.

This is literally what I get to do either in in the the formidable family man tribe and the master class.

That's what we do as a group every week we meet in the coaching or in the personal coaching I do.

That's exactly what I do.

It's like help you be the king in your Kingdom in every single way possible and to lead out like a man.

And of course, the results come.

It's incredible.

So just think about that, like what do you need to change?

What do you need to alter?

Get just be really honest with yourself, I guess like what is it you don't like?

Why aren't you interested in playing with your kids?

Sometimes just because you're addicted to something, you're addicted to your screen, you're addicted to porn, you're addicted to drugs or alcohol.

What you're buffering.

Maybe it's because you just hate your life.

Maybe you hate your job and no fulfillment, no meaning, and you just feel like you just suck the life right at you.

It's a soul sucking existence.

Boom, get a different career bro.

That'll take like a year.

Yep, great do it might take five years.

So what?

Like would you rather spend the rest of your life hating your existence or put in the work for a few years to totally transform your life?

And then you're like, man, I love my work.

And then also you start feeling better and you're way more pleasant to be around and you like engaging in life.

So whatever, whatever it is like what's causing the problem and reach out to me.

Like, let let me help, man, share this.

Well, share with me.

What, what, what, what The thing is?

What, what do you think the obstacle is?

What's the problem?

Send me a message.

Let me help.

And I and I give you some strategies.

Get the coaching, get the tools, join the tribe.

Like get in there with us.

This is what we talk about.

We talk about this stuff all the time.

It's like, how do we optimize every aspect of our lives?

OK, so more common complaints I get from from from wives and husbands admitting to themselves like, you're home, but you're not really home.

You're on a device while you're home or you're on a device while you're on vacation.

You're supposed to be on a family vacation.

You're on a device.

Husbands getting on their phones while they're on a date with their wives.

That is an absolute no no, brother.

Do not do that.

It makes your wife feel like she has to compete with a stupid phone.

Do not do that.

Grown men dad's husband's playing games instead of engaging with family.

And obviously it makes our wives feel lonely.

Makes her feel like she's an afterthought and she wants and needs and deserves your undivided attention.

That's a big one.

So I'm, I'm just reading from my notes here.

I got a bunch of notes.

So I I want to make sure I hit.

So be a fully engaged like I talked about.

If there's something you don't like about it, change it, improve it.

Like help your kids become the kind of people that you want to spend time with.

Help them learn to love and do well the things you would like to do and then learn to find interest and join the things they like to do.

So I'll, I'll give you an example here.

A few of my kids absolutely love board games and card games.

I hate board games like I, it is such a boring waste of life to me.

I hate board games.

I want to be active, right?

But I have a couple kids that want to play board games.

So guess what?

I lean in and I have a blast.

I get in, I go all in and we play, but I only do it every once in a while.

And they know I don't like it.

And so if I do it, they know like, man, he's doing it because he doesn't even like, and he's doing it.

But then we, we find common ground.

And so, okay, even with the, the a few kids that really love board games, I've also been deliberately working on for for months and years working on finding common ground of other things that we both would like doing together, right?

Riding motorcycles became one of them.

Surfing became one of them.

It's like, yeah, I will play board games with you here and there just because you like it.

And I'm going to lean in and go all in and we're gonna have fun.

But let's come up with something we both love to do together so we can have that time.

And it's not, I'm like, I'm not dying, nor is he.

Like, I don't, I don't want my kids sitting there like, I hate doing this.

Dad, why do you make me do this?

OK, let's keep going.

Games, we have to come back to this.

Games, gentlemen, are a distraction from a great life.

Let that hit home.

Games are a distraction from a great a great life.

I'm specifically referring to video games.

For those of you who like to tell yourself that you're bonding through video games, there are much, much better ways to bond.

Plus, playing games comes at a very high cost.

So if you Sir, are a gamer or your kids are gamers and you've kind of been in the camp of like games aren't a big deal.

It's not a big deal like Denning, you're being a little extreme.

There's there's nothing wrong with playing video games.

Before you ever think, believe or say that again, please educate yourself.

I have two recommendations.

Read a book called The low Kids GLOW, Glow Kids and a book called the anxious generation.

And once we understand what what effect video games are having on our children's brains and on our brains, your brain, you'll sing a different song, brother you, you'll change the way you view this.

It's do not think that video games are harmless.

They're not the biggest finding and the data is very clear.

Games make boys and men less successful.

Let that hit home.

That's not my opinion.

That is a data that is research.

That is evidence.

That is a fact.

Video games make boys and men less successful.

That's a very, very, very high cost for some entertainment.

There were far more ways, better ways, more fun ways, more engaging ways to have entertainment, have bonding, just to be alive.

I stop living virtually and start living in real life again.

Man, I like, I, I feel a difference like, you know, and I like, I like watching a movie once or twice a week with my family and it's some adventurous movie.

But there's and I like, well, I actually love watching sports, but I haven't watched sports for 23 years.

Even before that.

I just decided before I met Rachel, I was like, you know, I'm just, I'd rather play sports than watch sports, All right.

I can sit around and watch other people play or I can get out and play myself.

And I and I love to gentlemen, don't get me wrong, I love to play hard.

I'm an adventurous guy.

I love to have fun.

But I'm doing it in edifying real ways, not virtual ways, not fake ways and not in any way that has a negative consequence or a really what I call really high exchange rate where you do something and it costs you a lot in in other aspects.

So play hard, play with your kids, but play real games, not virtual ones.

Play sports with them.

Here's a list of things that that we like to do that that I've done or and that you think you can think of too, like add to the list here.

Play sports with them.

Ride motorcycles, kayaking, paddle boarding, surfing, skating, rollerblading, mountain biking, rock climbing, mountaineering, hiking, spike ball.

Yes, playing spikeball and pickleball.

Like some of our best family memories are playing spikeball, pickleball, it's so fun.

Play volleyball.

We're installing a sand volleyball court here in our backyard.

Like thousands of dollars.

Totally worth it.

And we play volleyball as a family.

Basketball, soccer, wrestling and martial arts.

I've been really deliberate about that wrestling with my kids and getting them interested in martial arts because I love martial arts not only for the fun, but for the practice, but also for the preparedness.

It's, it's a great discipline.

It's a great hobby, but it's actually, it's a hard skill that's extremely useful in life.

So, and I, I mean, when I was out on my own at 16, I was in boxing and kickboxing and learning about martial arts and it was a great outlet for me.

It was great discipline.

It's hard, it's challenging mentally and emotionally and physically and socially and, and some might even say spiritually, it's so worth it.

And so I wanted my kids to be into it, but I wanted them to love it.

So they wanted to be in it and I got it.

We're winning, right?

The way I presented it, the way I modeled the, the there's an art and a science to it, brother.

And, and we have to figure out how to get that right because otherwise they'll resent it and they won't want to participate and they definitely won't love it.

And as soon as you're done getting after them, they'll stop doing it.

So I guess the question is like how you can tell they love it when they do it on their own right, when they're, and it's not for you, It's not because you're watching like they love it because and they do it.

And when you're not around when they move out or when you're wherever, will they still do it on their own?

That's how you know you're winning those great habits and the things they they love to do and are getting into.

So because they do it because they love it, right?

It's a part of their being.

It's amazing.

And my kids are doing that right.

They're working out hard and they love martial arts.

So that's something we have that bond of adventuring.

So running not, I mean, all the lists I just gave you, we're doing most of those things together as a family.

And some of my kids don't like biking and some of them don't like running.

They all love paddle boarding.

They all love pickleball, they all love spikeball.

They actually all love volleyball too.

But I know I have one son that just does not like volleyball.

So, so he's like, I'm not playing volleyball.

But we, we have, there's several things we all like to do together.

And I have seven children.

And then there's a lot of things that a few of us like to do together.

And then there's always something that I like to do with each individual child that there's something we have that common bond.

Does that sound like a lot of work?

Great, Lean in, do the work.

It's worth every effort.

Does it sound like I want a lot of money?

Yep, fantastic.

Pay the money.

If you don't have it, earn it.

Let's go.

When you decided to have kids, man, you decided to get married and have kids.

You signed up for a lot.

And you may have not known that at the time.

Maybe you wouldn't have done it if you if you knew at the time what it was going to cost you.

But now you're in brother and there's no getting out of it.

And if you want to live an absolutely extraordinary family life, which is totally possible, if I can do it, you could do it.

I mean, I all I saw was, was broken marriages and broken home.

I was out on my own and then just struggling.

I had nothing going for me and we've created a genuinely extraordinary family life.

You can do this if you need tools and training.

That's what I do every single day.

That's what I do.

I get a coach, men.

I help men get the results they want for themselves and for their families and for their businesses because it's the whole package, fellas.

It's fitness, it's family and it's finances.

And those are the three things we all want and we all need to really thrive in life.

So get after it.

Make it happen.

Be the man.