#28 A Simple Strategy to Quickly & Deeply Understand Each Significant Role in Your Life & How to Excel in it

Gentlemen, welcome to Be The Man podcasts.

I'm your host, Greg Denning and today is another fantastic day to be alive.

I hope you'll make it count.

Do something memorable, do something special really connect with people.

You love.

I'm actually crazy excited because we're taking our kids to Six Flags water park for to celebrate my son's birthday.

And so my daughter, my son.

Have a birthday within a week of each other and so she flew in my oldest daughter.

She flew in and we've been partying every day.

It's like a week-long celebration.

And what a blast, what a joy to have all my kids under the same roof again and celebrating each other and celebrating life and just loving on each other and connecting and creating memories, man, it's all about family life Gentlemen.

Please don't ever forget that.

I know it's, I know it's easy to get distracted.

Acted by, but work and the things you working on and all the responsibilities fact.

It's even it's even easy to get distracted by the responsibilities of family life and forget why why we do what we do and how much it matters and how much every interaction matters and how much it matters that you show up and how you show up?

And as you guys heard me say this all the time you, we must we absolutely must Be responsible for the energy that we bring to the relationships, to the situation, to the Gathering, to the experience.

So today, I'm, I'm 100% responsible and take total ownership for the energy that I bring to the water park, for the whole family, and showing up and helping and my youngest is 5, and my oldest is 20.

So I have a full range of kids and my wife right then and all the energy I bring And how I show up matter so much.

And we can wake up each day, fellas.

Genuinely excited and grateful to be alive, just waking up in on wonder.

And another chance to do life another day to be here and this incredible planet and even when perhaps, especially when, when we're facing some really challenging things, when life is tough, When you're, when you're in the grind and you're, you're right up against this huge challenge, at your you're pushing on or you're trying to break through.

Remember what?

An extraordinary privilege.

It is to be alive.

To be able to.

Do this thing, we call life.

Oh man, it's so good.

Alright so today we're going to we're going to dive into something that I kind of dabbled with years and years ago to try to wrap my head around one specific thing.

And so years ago and I still have as a people come in.

They're like man, what business should I get in?

What career should get in?

Or they're thinking about a career change or they're unhappy with where they're at it?

They're trying to re-evaluate career.

And business or maybe side hustles, whatever.

And and they're like, how do I, how do I get my head around that?

Like, what what makes it work?

And so I started thinking through this was, this was years ago, fact, it was, it was when we were living in Costa Rica, many years ago, and I was down there are saying, okay, what what works, what doesn't work, and it was really kind of, what what's the problem, like, what keeps coming up, that's the problem for most people in their career and what kind of clicked for me was a Venn diagram And it's ven.

A Venn diagram is, you guys have all seen them.

It's where there's a couple of circles, at least, two circles and they overlap, and if you get three or four, then they all overlap.

Just just enough where you get that sweet spot, right?

And so if you can picture in your mind with me, maybe three circles or four circles.

And they all overlap, just this one section.

And in that section, That's The Sweet Spot.

That is where the magic happens.

That's where you want to operate.

And I did this specifically for, you know, a career or business and I'll share that with you right now.

But then then it just kind of really clicked for me.

Wow, this is the way to truly understand and nail.

All of your important roles is to start with a Venn diagram do a Venn diagram for each one, so you can get absolute clarity about the simplest and most essential Ants of any role and that way you can you can get clear about what it is and what it isn't and then what you have to master.

Now, most most people do never do that, right?

We get wrong along through life and and maybe somebody gives us a little bit of direction or we take a guess at it but rarely do people do the mental work, you know, you hear the great thinkers and speakers, it sort of like thinking is like the hardest thing in the world, Earl Nightingale, he's talking about that.

You guys listen to the, it's called The Strangest Secret.

Absolutely phenomenal.

It's free on YouTube, Just a great recording.

I'm blessed that probably 50 times or more just fantastic.

And he says that The Strangest Secret really is that that men don't think.

And they don't think because thinking is hard like real thinking is hard and most of us, avoid the mental work, required to clear.

But see the Masters those who are just absolutely crushing it.

In their field or whatever that is or in any area of their life.

They've gotten very clear about what matters and what doesn't they know they know exactly what has to be done and they figure out how to do it.

Really really well.

And so we can break that down and one simple way to start that process.

Again, this is just a beginning.

So we're going to go through a few of them today and it's just the beginning.

We're just getting started where you're going to have to dig into it really deeply and and Master.

What's there.

So, what I came up with years ago in Costa Rica, I'm like, okay.

What's what, what has to fit here?

And of course, in in each role, there's kind of different elements, right?

It's really quite Dynamic and there's, there's unique aspects to each roll and so, you could, you could potentially do a couple or you may be in a few Venn diagrams for each role, depending on how you want to approach it.

And look at it like The angle.

If it was like, 3D, I don't even is this even possible?

Like a 3D Venn diagram.

That would be really cool to do a 3D been going from.

Somebody can see that and you can look at it for different angles and seal.

Okay, what's what's there?

And, where is that?

Sweet spot.

So what I came up with initially was it came up before things and I use the acronym coal clal and if you hit this it was a sweet spot of business or Career.

And, and the first thing I put in there, see was conscience because it I kept coming across people and I had worked in places where it didn't line up with my conscience.

Right, man, I don't like this.

I don't like this product.

I wouldn't buy it.

I don't like the service.

I wouldn't use it, or it's some kind of thing.

Like, no, I don't even think this is like helping Humanity.

There's no way in the world I could ever work like, in video game production because that would violate my conscience.

I just think video games in this just is me.

I'm a little hardcore on this.

I think video games are absolute waste of time.

Uh, nothing.

I've done a lot of damage in the world.

And so, I just, I just Him and I always have.

So, for me, working in something, if I got into a career making video games, even if it was lucrative, and even if they had a great lifestyle, and all these benefits, all your great things like no, I can't do it.

Because the violation my concerts, same with like soda and drinks and Candy, but I met this guy, he was extreme Mexico, extremely extremely wealthy and successful.

Candymaker going to generational - all Mexico.

Like that's awesome.

And way to go, like they built this huge Empire.

There's no way in the world I could do that.

Oh, just every day, I wake up violate my conscience, like making candy going on, man.

No Cheryl Reeve I'm going on like no sugar so you can't do something that bothers your conscience because otherwise you have this daily turmoil, you might be making something that like it just doesn't make the world any better, even if it's not necessarily bad he's don't you don't.

Of it, you don't believe in it if it's not doing good, it's not really serving people, maybe it's just a inferior product and you're just trying to sell something, you know, just kind of crap that just violates conscience.

Right?

So that's the first part of those vending arm.

The second one was opportunities.

Oh right.

C. 0a else 0a opportunities what are the opportunities were out to what are the needs and wants of people, right?

What is it?

They're willing to pay for because you might like You might have, and we'll get into what a is assets, right?

So, conscience, opportunity assets.

So, your assets are your skills, your knowledge, the things, you know, or want to know the things you can do, or want to do the things.

You can your skill set where you become really, really good at it.

And there has to be crossover between the asset in the opportunity, right?

So, you might be an example.

I always give is like, man, you're just an amazing ostrich groomer.

And that's your asset.

But is there an opportunity that is there a, is there a demand for ostrich groomers?

Yeah, I never seen one ever, right?

But like you had to find out, is there?

Is there an opportunity?

That's the opportunity again is just like, what, what are the desires?

The wants the needs the problems that you bring a solution to.

So the problem is the opportunity, your asset is the solution to the problem and if It's a complicated enough problem.

A big enough problem then people will pay very very well for that and so there has to be and you can see that one right?

That's just the perfect.

Venn diagram is what's the opportunity and how does your asset cross over to that opportunity and a man?

You know the again that's why I think it's cool.

There's a circle because you know on the far edge of circles all these opportunities are tons of things you could do.

But it really doesn't cross over and and there's there might be a lot of things you're actually good at, but that doesn't quite cross over either.

It's just that one.

Sweet.

In the Middle where the opportunity and your assets just cross perfectly intact.

That's it, I found my spot right.

Where would I have to bring to the table?

Is something they are willing to pay for and so the conscience opportunities assets and then the L is lifestyle.

And the reason I threw that one in there, I had to come in because I met so many men and still do.

I mean, in all the time that they have this career, That is preventing or even wrecking the lifestyle they want and they never thought through that.

They and this was the big, Aha.

And this is what I want to emphasize today is you as you're trying to do these, Venn diagrams for the roles in your life and the things you want.

This one was just when it clicked on Mike.

Yes.

You have to put lifestyle in there because if you just have okay, it's aligned with my conscience.

That's great.

Yeah, there's great opportunity people paying for, there's a problem, we can bring your something people want or need and I can bring that and I've got skill set and knowledge base to do it.

Boom, I got it.

But if you leave out lifestyle piece, well then, then you end up like so many men, like they're just working all the time, traveling all the time, they're waving their families.

Their they have to live in a place.

They don't want to live and I can think of so many examples of good men of never years that have your careers but they're like, I hate it.

I hate my lifestyle.

I hate where we live.

My, why do you live there?

Because that's where the job is my man.

You need a different job.

Well, I wish I could be more involved in my have more time with my wife are being more involved in my kids are with their, with their education, or I could be at their, at their Sports.

I wish I could support them on.

Like, why can't you?

Well, it's because my job is I'm not, there it is.

It's a lifestyle piece.

And so even if it's a great career great business, if you don't eventually get it well and quickly, it may not happen right away but it's got to have a way where you can have the lifestyle you want and for me that's a deal-breaker.

It could be totally long as my conscience, be the best opportunity to ride along with my assets.

But if it if it disrupts my, the family lifestyle design that I have amount, that's a deal-breaker done.

I'm going to go back to the drawing board said no.

And in fact, I even People, I start with lifestyle.

What do you want your life to be like?

You want to be able to travel.

You want to be able to work from anywhere like looked like true location Independence.

Do you want to be able to have a totally flexible schedule to be home for breakfast?

Some days and lunch other days and dinner other days?

Or or like us, we're like, now I want three meals a day, every day with my family for the rest of my life.

And so we have that like I hate three meals a day with my family.

And we get to work from wherever I go.

It was very, very intentional that like, I've got a create something build something, find something that fits lifestyle piece.

So just going through this mental exercise of like what are what are the essential elements.

And then when there's that exact crossover in the Venn diagram, bam, I found my sweet spot, right?

So having that experience, and it just unlocked everything for me and my man, let's why are we doing that more often?

And so today, that's all I wanted to just walk through this again, is just an introduction.

I want to invite you to do this and please, Please do that.

Don't don't just listen to this this episode or watch it here and just think, oh yeah, that's that's good.

Important and things are a little bit and then move on.

I genuinely and I know some of you are listening, while you're running or biking or working, or whatever, cleaning doing chores are driving, but please, please, please make time to do this and it might be in layers or in you where you go deeper and deeper.

And it can get, it can get pretty complex and pretty it as you'll see here in a minute.

It's amazing.

It's such a cool process.

But do it like, grab, grab your, grab, your leather journal, and open up a blank page, some of the inserts.

So, I make these journals.

He's leather journals.

I have.

And because I wanted, I want to different sections in my journal for different things.

So, I'd have one for specifically, what we're talking about today, like the roles, right?

I'll have one for, For in My Business Journal, have when, you know, marketing and sales is one and then, you know, you could do team members and other, you could do productivity, Effectiveness, efficiency.

And then you can have one section for family for personal, whatever it is.

You want to do and then I would get my God, sometimes I want different sometimes I want lined paper and sometimes I want blank, so some of the notebooks and their, their, their changeable, right?

And so some of the, the insert, Books are blank.

And so I can draw and then some of them have little grids.

They're the kind of a.in the bullet Journal style so you got dots in them.

So I want a different kinds of journals that I could use for different ideas, right?

Because sometimes I want to write in the sometimes I want to draw a doodle and figure things out.

So one of my notebooks is blank and so I'd open that up.

Grab a little, any little circle, you could get little bottle caps or just whatever you can find anything.

You could use as a as a template and then just draw your circles.

And then Kevin just hit that out, do do a whole bunch of them, right?

It's like, oh, go through each role of your life.

Like what's essential here?

What has to be included?

So, here's another thing with business vitals, and I learned from a gentleman named Ethan Willis, and he's leading some, some big like a hundred million dollar businesses.

And he did this one day, he's like he's sitting down.

I think it was at lunch somewhere or something and he grabbed a napkin, he's like I'm going to just write down the essentials and and we were in a small Mastermind Him and and he shared this with us, he's like really comes down to three things.

If your business vitals it's your leads leads, conversion and fulfillment.

It's it is those three is that give you you can just monitor leads conversions and fulfillment and break each of those down, right?

You could even do then you could do a Venn diagram for each, those, right?

So business vitals is leads, conversion fulfillment.

If you're watching those three things, you have a hand on those three things all the time.

And you can see There's many leads come in.

This is how this many conversions happen and this is how we fulfill what we've offered like.

We got that, like it's those three things and so that's a three-piece, Venn diagram to business vital.

So now you take leads in like, okay, what are the absolute elements and leads and you create a Venn diagram for that.

And for conversions, what has to happen, effectively and consistently Search for really solid conversions, and to increase the rate of conversion.

And then for fulfillment, what's included in fulfillment us who've been diagram there.

So you see that you can, you can just break each thing down and put it in there.

It's, it's amazing.

It's amazing.

And it helps you get clarity, again, understanding the role and then nailing, if you know what's essential and what's non-essential and then you focus in on the Essential, by his power house.

So, the whole triple Trifecta, right?

The triple Trifecta, is this, this concept I came up with after 25 years.

Years of study and Human Performance and we're going to thousands people across five continents.

Like what is what are the the barebone Essential Elements to being a man?

How do we win as men?

And a trifecta, of course is is three things that that work together to win.

And so the first Trifecta is mind-body-spirit.

So there it is.

There's a Venn diagram three things for you as an individual, as a whole being, there's a sweet spot where, mind body and spirit are, all being addressed and all being nourished and cared for and fitness right?

Either the first trifectas Fitness, but it's Fitness in mind, body and spirit when you are fit, mentally spiritually and physically, there's a sweet spot, boom.

As a being, you are just gonna nail it, right?

So there's that first Trifecta, well, what you can do again?

And I invite you to do this, take each of those and then do a Venn diagram for each of those.

So, do one for mind, what are the essential elements of mental Fitness that you could put into a Venn diagram?

You know for me it includes learning other languages, there's a something something happens in your mind when you're learning other languages.

That like I don't think you can get anywhere else.

It's memorizing things, it's reading deeply and broadly, like you're consuming a lot of the great thinkers and it from different genres.

It includes thoughtful conversation.

And even even debate like you just forming arguments and includes writing.

You have to write like writing is the golden ticket to thinking.

Most of us are weak thinkers because we're weak writers.

And the more we write, the more forces us to get our thoughts together, right?

So there's just some of the things you keep going with this.

Like, what are the essential elements in mind?

Do the same thing with body?

Same thing spirit, All right, body.

You're going to think, man.

I got to get my nutrition nailed.

You are six pack.

Abs, your abs are made in the kitchen man.

But then you have to do cardiovascular training and you have to do some weight training and you have to have some flexibility and Agility.

Right.

It's so there's all these elements.

You start breaking that down, same as spirit.

So then the next one, the second Trifecta is family and that breaks down to three, right?

And we again, we can do them as a Venn diagram, which is marriage parenting and Legacy and I will do marriage and parenting here in a second.

But Legacy was, you know, what's in a family Legacy for you.

And then in each of these, Venn diagrams can look a little different for each one of us.

But that's what's so cool is like, like there, you're going to feel a certain emphasis certain calling.

So, You just feel like, yeah, that's that's my calling, that's my song.

That's the thing I want to do and maybe it's from from background if your parents failed or something or you had some life experiences that just really brought it to the surface.

You're going to focus in on something.

Maybe I would and I'll focus on something, maybe you wouldn't and that's fantastic.

That's what makes the world, great.

But you have to get clears like what's, what's in your Venn diagram?

What matters.

So, here's a couple thoughts for legacy but, you know, you have to have one of the elements is of really long term Vision region are constantly talking about our kids and grandkids And great gank.

Great, great grandkids, right?

Like, we don't even have grandkids yet, never kids are even close to marriage.

And yet we're constantly thinking about lucky grandkids, right?

Not not selective our children, but like this is Legacy stuff.

You have to have the standard of Excellence and everybody has to buy into the standard of Excellence.

You're going to create a legacy, you have to set a standard and you have to be so effective.

That people and your kids especially your family, all the whole family Buys in like yeah we're in wherein we want the Legacy, we want to hold a standard and you have to have love and respect because you'll never have a legacy of people don't respect you and the legs from elastic people love you because they'll despise you and resent you.

So, those are just a couple elements, right?

If you start digging into that and then then you go through sort of thinking through it.

And next week, I'll release another episode.

It's the three column strategy.

Is what we'll dive into and it's a way to go through now, every single element here and it's this really awesome way I learned from when I one of my coaching clients of how to assess what's working, what's not, how to establish excellence in each thing.

But let's go to the next one.

So the next the third Trifecta is finances, right?

Which is income expenses and Investments and so again picture in your mind of Venn diagram and you can draw these in, draw it in your Journal, you could do it on a computer, Graphics, whatever you go to those, you know, how to work a software and you go pull that together.

So you're going to have your income, you're gonna have your expenses and your Investments and it where they cross over everything.

Will this lines up really well?

Each one of those is now.

That's your sweet spot.

That's where power is happening in the financial trifecta.

Isn't this stuff awesome and you start to see how it's working and you can see the Essential Elements and then you break each one of those down.

What are, what are, what's the Venn diagram for income?

What has to be included there for expenses, plus to be included there for investment.

So for Investments, maybe one of them would be risk, how risky is it?

And how, how, how much risk are you willing to take on anyone's liquidity?

And a lot of investors Mana, great Investments but the can't get access to it.

What kind of I've known of investors that are worth millions and millions of dollars and they get cash broke.

Like they I'm like I have no money.

Like crap where I'm in trouble here, I have no money and they have millions dollars vest because they don't believe the quiddity or are they cash producing us.

Right?

That's that's an important aspect.

Some of them use put in and you won't be able to touch that for a really long time and others need put in like okay this one's cash producing like it'll generate monthly money, we need her or however, quarterly, whatever, what's the ROI on it?

Obviously that's you know, your return on your investment.

What's the timing?

Is the timing right?

In the economy is the timing right?

For the whole Process of the investment is, a short term, long term.

Is it going to fit?

What about exit strategies, right?

So, those are just some simple things that come to mind and you just go through each of these things.

So, let's kind of quickly do this together.

Again, in your mind, you're going to have all kinds of great ideas.

How are you, have way better ideas than I have, but do this.

Please please, please do this go through and see every aspect every role as a Venn diagram, like, what are the essential elements here?

And, and again, I cap to keep re-emphasizing this once we get Down to what's essential and we focus on what's essential man.

We are way better results.

So sue, marriage to marriage as you start thinking about some of the things you might include.

And again yours may look different than mine but I want to be best friends with Rachel.

So it's friendship we are and then attraction attraction is this super critical element so you start thinking about that you like attraction?

Yeah have to keep up attraction.

Sometimes we start with attraction and then we yel feet.

If you or your spouse, Let Yourself Go.

Like, maybe you've let yourself go, maybe he's kind of slouched into the sloth looking dad.

Bod not sexy, man, not attractive, maybe picked up some bad habits.

Maybe you're kind of grumpy or unpleasant to be around, or you don't even you don't, you don't take care of yourself, you don't dress up anymore.

You don't you just kind of sloppy looking.

Not cool man, not cool.

So attraction, is that Elmer, right?

There's that has to be that element.

That's a magnetic loops.

Barking somebody like, no, it doesn't matter.

That's just superficials movie on that wheel traction has many many layers, right?

And there's a lot of depth that I tell Rachel all the time, like, like some of the things that I'm most attracted to her about.

It's like her intellect and her goodness in her character and her standard of Excellence, that super attractive, super sexy, right?

The thinking learning, how she's just chasing.

She's chasing self improvement in mastering so many things, it says so attractive.

But she's also very physically attractive and that's that's what differentiates the marriage.

That's what makes little spark of magic there.

So it has to be a part of it for us connection and intimacy and intimacy.

Sex is its own thing because sex is the is that piece that linchpin that we call it.

That's unique only to your marriage and that has to be great that in and of itself, sex has to be amazing.

But the intimacy and the connection really has to be there to or the sex, won't be great.

And to be integrated Timet is like to.

I had a guest on has been published are Sunni.

He's throughout the word Intimacy in to me, you see, right?

And and that that's what intimacy is.

Just open up the barriers really see each other.

Holy it just everything as you are all of it.

That's intimacy and connection.

It has to be there.

And a lot of people don't have, a lot of couples were working with for coaching lat.

They don't have that.

They keep up these barriers, think they keep their own spouse at a distance and they have these these interesting mindsets and and habits and patterns, and ideas.

And beliefs about, you know, nominee and keep you at a distance for some reason, right?

And so they don't have the intimacy, they don't have the connection.

So of course it on, but good sex either and, and are just Cascades over at all the kinds of problems.

Another element of an awesome marriage is Family Management.

You have to, you guys have to figure out how to run.

A family.

And if you don't figure out how to run a family together, like the transactional type things, get get stuff done.

And it has an effect on here and really struggle dream.

Chasing is another thing for us.

That's another essential element there in our, in our Venn diagram, as a, an extraordinary marriage where a Chase dreams together.

All right, let's switch gears fatherhood, what are the essential elements and fatherhood?

And again, ideas are going to come to you write them down, jot them down, like make time for this.

Like what in the Venn diagram?

What's the Venn diagram for being an awesome?

Awesome.

Father.

And I'm just going to buzz through.

These are a bunch of things here, but like, you just start throwing a connection.

Got really connect your kids love. increase your capacity to love your kids and it's like the saddest thing I see is like When fathers are struggling to love their kids.

It breaks my heart.

It's super sad. and if your kids are annoying or distant or frustrating like, In all honesty, may you create a part of that, you've you played a role in that and it takes a lot of humility to bring that back doctor.

I just listened to a true story.

Yesterday was gut-wrenching.

This this couple brought their daughter to a renowned psychologist to help her with, she had anorexia?

I think, and it was a severe eating disorder and she As she was dying and the parents were like, well, it's her problem.

Is her problem and psychologists gets in the family serves me with parents and she's like, here's the problem.

And she works out the whole story and it was predominantly, it was the dad, the dad's behaviors.

It was his his issues, his stuff, his mannerisms, his way of trying, to, quote parent, Were causing directly causing all the problems and she is in the book called the choice and she outlines the whole thing and a true story like this all of a sudden it was, it was the dad, man.

He was the Catalyst for all kinds of behavior problems in his family's children and for this girl and her anorexia.

But her anorexia was just a reaction to his really poor parenting.

And so now we got to lean into that one.

You got to make sure we're we are being the kind of man, the caliber of man and father husband that we can love our kids and they can love us.

Do your kids, deeply deeply, love you.

Do they want to be around?

You do they admire you and respect you and the stuff matters?

So much another element of fatherhood is of course mentoring and coaching and doing that very effectively, other ones leading in modeling and then investing in them and the things they want to do and in their future.

He's so many things.

So and then there's a lot of specific role.

So here here, I'm just going to give a list here of specific things.

As you might, you might start going through this and hopefully, your mind already is just Like, wow.

What about this?

And what about that?

And where the circles in this part of my life?

And so you can get into really specific roles.

I know some of you are dentists, what are the essential elements?

In a Venn diagram of being a really great dentist chiropractor, surgeon.

A physician a marketer, a manager speaker.

You know, like speakers really greatest speakers are super Dynamic.

Actually funny, right?

They bring in humor, they're great storytellers, right?

So you could go through these and just break I'm down disciple.

What's the Venn diagram for you being a disciple of believer, son, a brother, a friend, a philanthropist, love that one and not the front and Scholar.

So philanthropist installed, those are elements.

We have inside the master class that I dress.

Like we all need to be philanthropist.

What is it?

What's in the Venn diagram of being a truly exceptional, philanthropist?

What's essential there?

And if we can get clear about that, then we can nail it.

So, being a scholar, being a provider, a protector, a listener supporter.

Like, and I'm suggesting all these as roles that you could do a Venn diagram, for each, one of these, like, what makes a great listener or makes a great supporter, a Creator, an artist a musician, a designer, and organizer a warrior, a philosopher, a poet thinker an author because some you want to write Martial artist makes it really great martial artist.

What's the Venn diagram for martial, arts, and athlete?

A mentor, an influencer do that one?

Please go into our an influencer, like, what's the Venn diagram to be a truly exceptional influence for.

That's one of the, that's one of the key things.

I focus in on a lot in when I'm doing one-on-one coaching, like, you have to earn influence.

And there's, there's a specific formula for that.

Because if you don't have influence in your life man, it's so much harder and more miserable than it needs to be.

Gotta learn how to be a great influencer and there's a there's a Venn diagram for them.

How my teacher, right?

Everyone of us is a teacher, every single one of us is a teacher in so many different ways and what are the essential elements of a teacher?

Well, one of them is your way of being.

There's a phenomenal book called the courage to teach, by Parker Palmer.

I highly recommend for everybody.

And he really illustrates in there.

So well, it's like, no matter what your subject, what your topic, none of us can escape teaching who we are.

So, you may be teaching chemistry, or or marketing, but who you are is what comes out.

It's your way of being that is reflected in the teaching no matter what the topic of the subject, right?

So one of those circles in the Venn diagram being or a teacher's is, is your way of being being an exemplary student, right?

You're going to be a great teacher, you've got to be a great student.

You got to be a master Storyteller, just like speakers and teachers human beings man we love stories stories.

This work to illustrate principle so if you want to be a great teacher, going to be a great Storyteller.

How about provider what's in provider order?

And again, I'm just throwing ideas here.

You got to do this in and get this dialed in for you.

But as a provider, what's in the Venn diagram as a provider?

An abundant mindset.

Too many good.

Men are operating with a severe scarcity mindset.

This one comes up a lot gentlemen.

This one comes up a lot.

Usually in the form of wives, reaching out to saying, Help.

Like there's so many things we could do, but my husband has such a scarcity mindset.

And I get it, man.

I been there.

I was there for a long time.

I grew up with that and then I was dead broke.

I was homeless, so I know it's scarcity.

Actually is.

And I got into scarcity mindset, but you can't be, you can't be a great provider.

If you have a scarcity mindset as you gotta get having abundance, my set, you got to be a producer.

What does that even mean, right?

You could.

So you do, you know, you do provider and you your Venn diagram and in one of them is producer who now I'm going to take that.

One ounce of a co-producer.

What's the Venn diagram for being a producer?

You've got to produce results and resources who resourcefulness?

That's not what I adhere being resourceful to be effective and productive.

You're going to be a great provider.

You have to be effective productive, you got to be organized and detailed.

You got to be really great at what you do.

If you're just mediocre, your have a hard time, providing you have to be agile and creative and again when we say provider, it's more than just providing finances sometimes so Ashley's man were like, yeah, I'm a, I'm a provider here and we think we're just, it's more like you're an ATM.

It's you're providing way, way more than just money and so you got to be agile and creative to provide well and opportunities, right.

One of the things I put in here in my in my Venn diagram for provider is I'm an opportunity maker, I make opportunities.

I got create opportunities some providing opportunities.

And in providing guidance, providing support.

Providing mentor and there's so much to it.

It's so cool.

This stuff just expands and expands King, right?

Every single one of you is a king in Your Kingdom.

At least I you should be some of us are not leaning into that role responsibilities.

We're not sitting on a throne.

We're sitting in the bleachers watching life happen and we're sitting back in a corner hiding with our fingers crossed, hoping things work out.

When I'm being the king, be the king in your kingdom, which means you're responsible for everything that happens.

You don't have to do everything that happens.

You don't have to, you know, some of us get into this.

Like, well, if it's going to be done, you have to do it yourself right now.

It's not true, it's not true.

You have to be a more effective leader.

So in fact, one of the, if you're going to do, do a Venn diagram for King, I think I'll be a big one.

That's there's this, there's a few in here.

I'm like, yeah, please do that one.

That's one of them doing for a king.

So the things I wrote down under the king is like extreme ownership, right?

There's a great book called Extreme ownership which is I highly recommend, but it is absolute ownership.

You are responsible for every result in your kingdom.

Be responsible for it.

Take responsibility oversight, and a great King has overtaken.

See, everything is going on in his kingdom.

And he understands what's going on, why he's watching it.

He has vision.

Vision of where he's taking and where he's leading, you can see, clearly is Way Beyond, you know what, what everyone's worried about the drama and the stuff and looking down, right?

Kings aren't looking with our walk around with their heads down, like the, the, What's called the muckraker, right?

The muckraker always had his head down, his raking.

The muck and he's always had, was always the, I never looked at the end.

No vision Kings.

Have Vision Kings delegate.

And they do it very well.

They delegate.

They have wisdom.

How do you earn wisdom?

What's a Venn diagram for wisdom?

They have judgment and benevolence.

So we all kind of things right now.

Then diagram doesn't work.

If you got 20 things, there's too many that then it makes the teeny little sweet spot.

It like it's impossible to hit is like an impossible Target but you make out a list.

See right now things you like okay we know what's essential, what's a bare-bones?

Essential?

How do we like go through the mental work to get down to the simplest?

Most Essential Elements as you might write out a list and then just kind of hold that down and includes you know pieces of will kind of all fit together and you kind of bring that in as like there it is there's my Venn diagram for each important role in my life and it's a this is a simple exercise rights kind of Elementary but it's actually quite challenging and most people don't do this kind of mental work.

They do they won't sit down and just work through.

Like what it takes mentally?

Because your minds like I don't know.

And it's like what's for lunch?

But hey, what are we gonna do tomorrow?

Oh, I have that problem.

Do I go?

And so the mines like it'll-it'll race off to other things and you got to keep it there like no, I'm going to stick with this.

What are the essential elements for me to fulfill my roles and how do I nail it?

And and I would propose fellows that we can't nail it.

We can't have that unbelievable.

Success until we know what's essential and what's not Not.

And for me, this is just been a really cool exercise 20 down.

Like, okay, these These are the essential elements and if I can get down to three or four and then I can draw them out and I can see where they cross over them.

Like, there it is.

I can just totally nail this as a man as a warrior, as a husband, as a father, I can nail that because I know what's essential and what's not and then I can look at my calendar, I can look at my schedule, I can look at my habits and I see what's working because none of us lives at the level of our hopes fellows.

We live at the level of our habits that's that was worth repeating.

We do not live at the level of our Oops.

We live at the level of our habits, and so, once you have your Venn diagram dialed in, you can look, say, do my habits, align with this, because some of you have habits that are way over here in left field.

And then, you put your Venn diagram together like, man.

These are the things that would make me such a great father.

And these are the things I'm doing, right?

And that's that's where you start realigning.

Your whole schedule, your whole plan, your habits, your patterns, everything you're doing and bring that back into alignment.

Anyways, hope this helpful.

It's just just one more element, right?

Succeeding in life is a very, very, very multifaceted thing and we have to be good at a lot of things, but if you pick your essential roles, And get clear about what those are, and then zoom in and what are the essential elements in each roll and then even zoom in one more layer.

What are the essential things in that thing?

and then like I told you next week, we'll talk about the three column strategy and and the key here is like you skating more strategic Being more serious about this and doing the mental work, first to get clear about what it what it means to really succeed.

So, well, I love the stuff and I can't, I can't think of anything more important than The being the best version of yourself and leaning into the things that matter.

Most, I've been, I've been hired to, to go speak to an event out in Colorado, and didn't think about that and writing the speech.

And just so excited about this.

This is that essential element.

Like, getting down to the essentials of living, truly living an extraordinary life and being the best version of yourself.

That's so awesome.

So fellas, thanks, thanks for listening.

Thanks for being here.

Thanks for driving.

You get great man.

Thanks for caring.

If you haven't subscribe to the podcast, please do that.

So you can keep getting the new updates.

I, I have so many interviews already that already done of men who are doing incredible things, and great conversations, and inspiring insights and stories from their lives.

So those are already coming out every week.

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Leave a review.

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Me reach out to me, through social media, to Greg Denning on Instagram, or Gregory denting on Facebook asked questions.

I'm happy to do podcast episodes on your questions and reach out and share if you have some insights and breakthroughs when you're doing your Venn diagram things that pop for you sharing with me, I love to hear and see and see what you come up with what stands out for you and share those with me.

And then, you know, share this episode and this podcast with friends and And families colleagues, you think?

Yeah, man.

Let's let's just got to share with your team, right?

This one specifically share it with your team like a each of us has a role here in a team.

So whether you're running a business or or a sports team or some kind of organization, a humanitarian effort, whatever it is and, and you're in charge of that or you're a part of it to me.

Let's listen to this episode.

And let's, let's do this.

This exercise all together.

Each of us has a role inside the team and so the team has his own Venn diagram.

Then each person has a role inside Team and they do this diagram and you break that down.

You're like three levels in, right?

Then we all get clarity on how to understand and nail it in each important.

Well, relax, so thanks for your call us.

Be the man.