#78 - 6 Reasons Children Misbehave and Over-react Emotionally

Greg Denning (00:01.666)
Gentlemen, welcome to the Formidable Family Man podcast. I'm your host, Greg Denning, and today we're going to talk about helping your kids with their emotional outbursts and their explosions and implosions. And almost every family has at least one kid with some big emotions, right? The major reactions. And this is anything from toddler tantrums to teenage tantrums. Just all the emotional.

reactions and well even even the behaviors right if you look at all or most behaviors they're going to be emotionally driven and there are so many simple and important ways to help guide and direct those emotions even quote control them i'm not you know i'm not into control and i don't think it's a good idea to try to control anyone because people abhor being controlled even little children nobody

wants to be controlled. But we can help them quote control their emotions. But maybe the best word is direct or facilitate that. And what's super important gentlemen is I really want to drive this home today. It's far more, far, far more than just this idea of like, hey, get control yourself or why are you acting out like that? You get that right. We're going to realize today that

A vast majority of it is physiological and it's the environment and the things that are happening all around it that are massively affecting the emotional behavior. Now, that's not our first thought. I remember when I first learned this, I was like, what? And I was kind of skeptical. Like, how could that be affecting their emotions? Emotions are just this separate thing, but that's just not the case. And you realize today that as we're

You know, let's say you have a child or children, maybe they're fighting a lot. They're overreacting. They're fighting with you. They're crying. They're angry. They're depressed. They're afraid. You know, all these predominant emotions, these things that just really disrupt family life and, and, make it so hard to be happy and healthy and, and to live a great life. All of those things are being impacted.

Greg Denning (02:27.17)
by different strategies. I think after today, I hope this is hope of this episode, is that after today, you'll think about it completely differently. And luckily, fortunately, this is spreading through psychology and psychologists and in counseling. The best qualified and the most effective counselors and therapists and psychologists are turning to these strategies. Now, unfortunately, that's only a small percentage. The rest of them are still

going about in old ineffective ways. And that's why for the most part, I don't think counseling helps at all. It's just ineffective. But what I'm gonna give you today, six things that just absolutely work. And I think it's important to throw this out front. Like this is not my opinion. This isn't like something I came up with. Like, hey, I did this and why don't you try this? This is all backed up by massive amounts of research and data.

Like it's all there and you can go do all the researching you want and you'll find it as well. Or since I've already done all the research, you can trust me on this one and even, you know, look it up, verify it. Don't take my word for it. Just look it up and you'll see that it's there. And when you hear it, you're like, yeah, it makes perfect sense. And you'll see why. number one, I had a hard time picking number one. I think there's two things that should be number one together, but I got to pick one of them. So I'm going to go with number one is...

Let's go with sleep.

If our children, well and adults for that matter, if you and I, if we're not getting enough sleep, it is easy to be grumpy, upset, irritable, impatient. And for a child especially who hasn't yet learned a lot of physiological and emotional regulation, a lack of sleep is one thing.

Greg Denning (04:29.554)
You know this too, because if you have a rough night, you have a harder time the next day, keeping control of your emotion and staying in a positive emotional state. So you get this and think about it on a small body. You take this complete amazing human being, but it's in a small body. They have a hard time regulating that. So like we just built a new sauna and we're just absolutely loving it. But kids can't...

stay in saunas very long, they can't stay in cold water very long because their bodies aren't really good at regulating temperatures yet. And so, you you and I might sit in the sauna, in a hot sauna for a good 15, 20, 30 minutes and get a great sweat in there. Little kids, they have a hard time regulating, right? And so cold and heat really affect them and quickly. So my daughter will come in and she'll stay as low as she can. Sometimes she'll lay out her towel on the ground next to the door.

So it's cool and she's not, and even there she's like, but it's so hot. I'm melting in here, right? It has this massive effect. And I want you to keep that in mind as we're talking about our kids, A lack of sleep for a child, it's a big deal because their brains are growing, their bodies are growing. There's so much going on in their physiology and their biology. The lack of sleep is a major, major factor.

And children, because they're growing so much and they're the growth hormones, renewal hormones and processes that are happening during the night, like they're growing at such an insane level that sleep is where the healing and the renewal happens. And so if we're cutting that short and we're doing so much harm, so, so much harm.

Children and teens need anywhere from eight to 10 hours of sleep. I was just researching this recently because a client is having a struggle with a six or seven year old son. And as I dug into that, that a seven year old boy often needs anywhere from nine to 12 hours of sleep.

Greg Denning (06:53.528)
Gentlemen, let that hit home. If you're waking your children up to get them going in the morning and you're pulling them out of a sleep cycle,

Man, we're creating the problem. So is the answer to try to get your six or seven or nine or 11 or whatever 13 year old boy to try to go to bed at nine o'clock? I don't know any boys who want to go to bed that early. Do you? And so we're trying to force it. And I guess I bring this point up because the whole system is rigged and set up.

in a very broken way. Starting school at 7 a.m. is crazy. It is absolutely insane because it's forcing these little kids to get up to an alarm, to break a sleep cycle, to shorten the length of sleep so they're not getting the sleep they need. And that massively affects academic performance. But as you know, and as we're talking about today, it is a huge factor in emotional...

regulation and just being in a good positive, a mental and emotional state. And look around. If it were working, we wouldn't be in this horrendous mental and emotional health crisis. This illness crisis that's happening in the United States right now. So kids need to be able to sleep. We do not wake up our kids. There's an occasion where we got to catch a flight or something like that, but we do not wake them up. We let them sleep.

And what happens is their bodies sleep until they're rested. So none of our kids have alarms they're using, unless it's a rare occasion. They're sleeping until their bodies have renewed. And that is so good for the body and the brain. for the most part, we'll have some late nights. For the most part, the kids, our kids and our whole family goes to sleep at a good time. And we've never had set bedtimes for our kids.

Greg Denning (09:05.548)
We allow them to go to bed when they're tired and they've made good choices. Now, obviously we're not allowing them to watch movies all night and play video games or have access to devices and do all the stuff that'll keep them up night. You usually if they're like, I like staying up and like, well, you, if you stay up, can listen to a book or actually we even prefer, you're not listening to a book at night. You're reading a good book or you're drawing, you're doing something quiet and you have dim lights. And so usually they're, you know, they'll draw for awhile and do the read and then they'll go to sleep.

And so, you know, with seven children, our kids have gone to bed at a good bedtime and they've slept until their bodies are ready to get up. That is a massive factor. I had a gentleman named Tom Ludlow on this podcast. Go find that episode. It is absolutely incredible. He's a sleep specialist and talks about the value of sleep and how they're finding direct connection to what's, you know, what they're labeling as ADHD.

and other learning struggles and disabilities and challenges and behavioral problems all directly linked to the quality of sleep and the length of sleep. And a lot of kids, they're mouth breathing and so they're waking up during the night or they're just not sleeping well. And they may not know it, they're not wake up and be like, you know, I was tossing and turning, I wasn't asleep, my sleep quality wasn't good. They don't know. But so much of behavioral problems are directly connected to sleep. So that's number one. Number two.

which is a very close number two is food. Food affects our brains directly and our bodies. And you guys know this. So once you hear it, makes sense. If the body feels off, well, no wonder it's harder to be in a positive emotional state. And you know this, right? Because you felt it yourself. So even if you're hangry, it's so much easier to get upset, irritated, to explode, to have the temper go off.

you're impatient, it's because the body's often and it's often because of food or if you don't feel well because of something you ate. So food directly affects our bodies and our brains, our blood sugar levels and then the chemicals and the toxins that are in so much of what's being masqueraded as food. It's garbage. So one of my favorite resources for this is Dr. Daniel Amon and he has many books, great videos on

Greg Denning (11:31.476)
site on YouTube. He's got clinics all over the country. Like so much research behind this about how food affects the brain specifically. He's a brain specialist and how that affects behavior. So not getting adequate nutrition. So even if we're feeding the kids, but we're not giving them things that are nutrient dense, they're just kind of empty calories. again, the demands of a child or a teenager or just the human body in general for ourselves as well.

The nutritional demands to operate the brain are substantial. And a body that, especially a little kid that's just running around and bouncing and learning. So real learning burns as many calories as intense physical exercise. Right? And so the body needs the calories and needs the nutrients, not just empty calories. It needs real nutritional value. So if what we're feeding them is empty, then no wonder the body and the brain is starving while stomachs are full.

So quality, the brain and the body need massive amounts of proteins and fats to operate the brain and the muscles, proteins and fats. Unfortunately, the common diet, especially in America and the Western world is just carbs, lots and lots and lots of simple carbohydrates. And it's just no good. It's no good for the body. And it leads to diabetes and it leads to suppressed immune systems. You're ill more often.

And of course, it's directly affecting your emotional state. This is so powerful, so profound. This one, I got to drive home here because you wouldn't think, first thing you're like, no man, if my kids eat that, it's like that's not affecting their emotional behavior. And the truth is, it absolutely is. 100%. What our kids are eating is affecting their emotional behavior. 100%. So if your kids have some behavior problems or they're just not in a great state, very first place, I'm going to look at sleep. Very second place, maybe two firsts, like I said.

is I'm gonna look at their food. sodas, gone. This is liquid poison. In fact, anything with food coloring, gone. I'm just, not gonna do it. I haven't allowed that in my home, my family for years and years and years years. Food coloring is just absolute garbage. In fact, I look at every label and every ingredient list, every single one of them, and we go to natural foods. So anything that's highly processed is gonna cause problems. And if it's got all kinds of chemicals in it and all these unnecessary ingredients,

Greg Denning (14:00.286)
You got to question that, like what in the world, why? And then as we've traveled all over the world, realizing in fact we live in Europe right now, what's fascinating is like so many ingredients that are absolutely banned in Europe. They are not allowed in because there's a direct connection to all kinds of illnesses and problems. They're not allowed here. And those ingredients are just common everyday ingredients in American food. It's absolutely crazy. And there's tons of research on this and I can provide more resources if you're interested.

Man, just watch Dr. Aiman's videos and read his books. It'll absolutely blow your mind. So start removing those things. Cold cereal, if you're giving your kids cold cereal in the morning, one thing may be causing so many of the behavioral and emotional problems right there, that thing. So they need to be eating free range eggs and grass-fed meat and butters and whole milk.

They need the nutrient dense red meats and the fats and the proteins so that they just are feeding their bodies and their brains and getting it. So we're getting rid of candies, the junk food, the fast food. Do your own homework if you want. I mean, you can trust me and just realize it's all garbage and get it out of their lives. Or you can do your own homework. Say, well, you know, what's on the ingredient list here? And then they want to show you ingredients that you can't even pronounce. 90 % of them, you start looking up and say, what does this do? And what is this? And you'll start realizing it is just.

toxic sludge. And because those things are going in directly into their bloodstream, it's massively affecting their health and well-being and their brains in particular. And so Dr. Amen, he'll show you all the brain research and the behavioral issues that are directly linked with some people with corn. Any kind of corn product is causing problems. Food colorings with other people. know, the...

White flower with some people it's just this refined bleached white flower and it has all kinds of junk and garbage in it and he goes through all the things that they're causing so many of these problems and it's directly linked to behavior problems and thoughts like suicidal thoughts and fear anxiety Depression all these things directly in fact one of the one of the things they found has become very obvious is that low fat diets often lead to depression and we're just not getting enough fat and the brain thrives on fat and so

Greg Denning (16:23.02)
If there's not enough fats, then this is just kind of empty and depressed. It's incredible. So the vast majority of our emotional state, our emotional experience is directly connected to the quality of food we're having. Now you might be thinking, okay, great. So I'm going to give my kids a bagel and some orange juice in the morning or apple juice. Wrong. that stuff is terrible. Juices like apple juice, grape juice, the juices are just terrible because they spike the blood sugar and they increase.

insulin resistance and they're leading to diabetes and other health problems. So for that stuff, you'll want to read a phenomenal book that I highly recommend called Why We Get Sick. It is absolutely excellent. Every parent should read that. And it helps you realize like what is leading towards diabetes, what's just wrecking the blood sugar levels in our bodies and in our kids. And of course, it can't not affect their behavior, their emotional states, the big explosions.

So if we get the food right, we have to prioritize this. We get the food right, the behavior changes. Now a lot of you thinking, come on man. They love that, they love the candy, they love the treats. I love the treats, I love the desserts we make. We're just used to eating pop tarts and cold cereal and cotton candy, all the other garbage. I promise, I promise you, one of the very...

The most important things you can do for your family is to clean up the food in your home. Get it out of there and do not bring it back in. Don't allow it. Do not allow that stuff in your home. Don't buy it. That's the easiest way. Just don't buy it. If it's in your pantry right now, throw it away. Just get rid of it. Anything that's got the chemicals or the garbage, just get it out of there. And there are delicious.

and nutritious meals. We love food. We crazy love food. In fact, our rule in our family is if it's not delicious and nutritious, we won't touch it. And I'm not going to eat junk. I'm not going to eat anything that doesn't taste good. And so we found recipes that we absolutely love. And that's what we eat. And when people come stay with us, they love our food. When they come to our retreats and our trips, they just crazy love our food. And it's delicious and nutritious.

Greg Denning (18:41.87)
I actually compiled all that in my 90 day food and fitness course. And you can go grab that. It's phenomenal. If you want to get in shape and stay healthy and fit for the rest of your life, that is the ticket has all the resources in there to get that. And of course that you can get that for free when you join the formidable family man tribe. So it's all in there. All of our family recipes, there are go tos, our snacks, because you know, I love snacks too, as much as anybody, but I want healthy snacks and my kids love them.

Guests love them. It's amazing. So there it is. Get food right. Number three. I would say number three is emotional modeling. Meaning Our kids emotional behaviors are learned behaviors from watching. Generally it's from watching us as parents. And so if you're very explosive it won't be any surprise to see your kids exploding.

on each other or exploding over circumstances. They are watching very closely from the time they're born, maybe even pre-birth in the womb, they're hearing it, they're sensing it, they're feeling it, and these are learned behaviors. If you're implosive, you go in the room and slam the door and explode in, your kids are gonna learn how to do that. If you get after them in an angry rah way, guess what they're gonna do with each other?

as with their siblings and I and I I learned this the hard way right I get after my kids when they're young and then my oldest daughter she would do that to her little brother. Where in the world did she learn that when she's little she haven't been out in the world where did she learn to treat him like that and I realized she had watched me learn that and then you know interpret it in her own little way and so she was mimicking in her own way.

And kids obviously lack regulation and so it's imitation without regulation. So they're imitating our behavior but they don't regulate it and so it's just it is. So where did they learn to behave like that and treat each other like that? Unfortunately from you or your spouse or you know others grandparents, aunts and uncles and other kids they see it and they model it. So modeling is a big deal.

Greg Denning (21:06.954)
And of course that puts responsibility and opportunity right squarely on our shoulders where it ought to be. And you and I, we have the responsibility and obligation to clean up our own emotional behavior and learn how to control ourselves. And come on, like we're grown men here, gentlemen, grown men. Let's act like it. Let's act our age. Let's get control of our emotions. And I can speak boldly because of this, because I did it. I had a raging, razy temper.

breaking walls, breaking bones even sometimes getting in fights like I had a madman temper. And of course, I believed I was a victim to that, that it happened to me, that it was the circumstances and people that made me act like that. It wasn't it wasn't my fault. I wasn't choosing to do this. They made me that way. They made me crazy mad. How how could I choose or think or act otherwise? And of course, that's just not true.

And so I got rid of my temper completely 100%. It is gone. No more crazy emotional outbursts, no more acting like a madman. Gone. And if I can do it, you can do it. Right. We have to learn emotional control and gain emotional mastery over ourselves. And again, getting, getting the sleep you need and eating better is going to help it make it so easy. And then we have to unlearn.

these patterns we've picked up of emotional reactions and being so reactive. So look at the modeling that's happening in your home. Just get clear about what's going on. Maybe it's your reaction when they fight your reaction, when you come through the door. Gentlemen, can I drop the hammer here for a second on you?

It is absolutely despicable. If our wives and our children have to be kind of walking on eggshells or thin ice or, you know, pins and needles or whatever, all the expressions of worrying about your emotional state when you get home. That is pathetic and it is unacceptable. And if you're coming home from work and exploding, vomiting all your emotional crap on your family, shame on

Greg Denning (23:26.988)
You, sir. Get your crap together.

and resolve all the garbage. Okay, if you had a horrible day at work or your tire exhausted, whatever, great, not your family's fault. You need to resolve that crap in the car before you walk through the door. I am dead serious on this. And if you need help, I'll help you. I've done, I've been through this. I coach guys through this all the time. Get the tools, get the coaching, get the resources, but do not, brother, allow yourself to come home and just vomit on your kids and man.

If your wife and children are afraid or hesitant or worried about your emotional state, not knowing how they can behave, not knowing how you're going to react to the condition of the house or you know, whatever is going on. No way, man. That's unacceptable. You're better than that. So figure out how to do that. Let me help you. But figure out how to do that. Get control of that so that your wife and children can count on you coming home and being solid.

Being awesome, not being the problem. You come home and you're the solution. And if you walk through the door and your wife's upset about something and kids are upset, you're there to be in the lighthouse. You're there to bring the tide that lifts all the boats that they can count on you being strong instead of you being the source of the problem. Okay. That's my rant. just remember if you're, if you're a feisty firecracker or, or you're just disengaged or you're

whatever your emotional reaction or whatever your modeling, expect your kids to pick up on that and do it without regulation. So, fix that one and it'll massively change how your kids interact with each other and how they respond to life in their emotional state. Okay, number four is of course meeting their needs. All human beings have needs, children have specific needs, wives have specific needs, men have specific needs, we just have needs. of course, you know, the most fundamental needs are, you know, food, water and shelter and love and, you know, connection like...

Greg Denning (25:31.246)
That's great. they need all those and the quality of those. So it's not just like, oh yeah, I gave them a house and I food and water. No, you just learned like the quality of the food matters. Quality of the water matters. Quality of what they're drinking. The quality of their clothing and the shelter, the condition of the house matters. We'll talk about that in number six, the environment. But they also need love, lots of love. And they need a sense of certainty. And they need some adventure and some challenge. They need to have significance.

They need meaning and purpose. need to know that they have absolute connection and protection. They have to know they have this relationships with you and the environment and trust and hope that they feel good. They need to get hugs from you. They need to get love from you. They need to wrestle with you. Your children need roughhousing and wrestling with you, And again, not my opinion. That's all backed up by science.

Kids just need the rough housing and wrestling with dad. They need tons, tons of quality time. So not just quality, but quantity as well. They need this. They need growth and development and fulfillment. And they need dreams and goals. They need success. They need failure. They need all these wonderful things. They need a place where they can thrive. They need resources where they can use the tools that are available to...

really make the most themselves and pursue the things that interest them. Right. They need all this. And if their needs are not being met, of course it leads to behavioral problems and emotional struggles, mental emotional struggles. It makes sense, doesn't it? Right. If a child has a deep human need or a child need and it's not being met,

Well, what they're going to do, like every human being, is they're going to search for some kind of vehicle. We're calling it a vehicle. To get the need. So if a child needs attention and affection and kindness and support, they need to be cheered on. They need to know it's okay. They need to know it's safe to fail and make mistakes without you coming unglued and giving them some horrendous ineffective dad lecture and berating them.

Greg Denning (27:58.178)
They never, gentlemen, never should hear you calling them names or insulting them. Never. If that's happened, apologize profusely, end it now. Don't ever let it happen again. Never should any child on this planet be insulted by their own fathers. Unacceptable. Absolutely stink and unacceptable. Okay. Make that right.

And so give them all they need but if they don't get it they're gonna see Seek out the vehicle like I like I said and the vehicle might look like bad behavior And what do they want with bad behavior? They want your attention. They want your focus. They want time with you You're like wait a minute that it doesn't work if you do something bad You're not gonna get more time with me and you're not gonna get my positive attention You're just gonna get scoldings and whatever but they don't know that they don't think through this. It's all subconscious

They're just choosing any vehicle. And so they'll break things. They'll steal things. They'll lie. They'll be super destructive. They'll be kicking the back of the car seat. They'll be smashing in the doors or drawing on the doors. They're going to use any vehicle they can get a hold of to get attention from.

And it might subconsciously be like, man, the only time my dad pays attention to me is when I'm in trouble. It's because you're so, maybe you've been absent-minded or distracted. And I get it, right? You're busy, you're stressed, you got a lot to handle. Luckily, you're a man and you eat pressure for breakfast and you can handle this.

So figure out how to meet their needs, all of their needs. And there's a lot of them. And each one, each one of your children and your wife have lots of needs. And you and I have the privilege and responsibility to meet those needs so that they're not seeking for a vehicle. So if you see a child misbehaving, and I do this every time, right? So I'm like, are they getting enough sleep? And I'm keeping my cool. I'm looking at it as an observer, as a researcher with curiosity and interest.

Greg Denning (30:10.626)
Bring them over. They're acting out. being crazy. Whatever. I'm not getting after them. I'm screaming and yelling. I'm bringing them. came here. Come here, bud. You're a sweetheart. Sit them on my lap. The little ones. They're bigger. Sit them on the couch and you put arm around them. You start thinking, did they get enough sleep? They had good quality food. I've been modeling. My wife and I, we've been modeling stress and worry and fear and

An irritability of those are things we've modeling or they just kind of mimicking that their needs being met And so you start talking like hey, how you doing? What's going on?

You know how much I love you? And it's amazing, ask your kids, ask your kids if they like know with absolute certainty that you love them. We invited one of our clients to do this recently and said, ask his kids like, do you know that I loved you? Do you feel like I love you? And his kids say, yeah, we know you love us, but sometimes we think you don't like us.

Greg Denning (31:19.406)
What an insight. Do your kids know that you love them? Do they know that you like them? Ask your kids, I've done this and I invite my clients to do it. Have your kids rate your relationship with them on a, just do it one at a time and say on a scale of one to 10, where would you rate our relationship? Whatever number they say, they might say four or eight and say, okay, thank you. And what would make it a 10? Why would you rate it there? Why'd you pick that number?

And let them, let them tell you and they say, why, what would make it a 10? Let them tell you and don't respond. Get, don't dig if defensive, don't say anything. Just listen. Amazing insightful. But if you and I are not meeting their needs, if their needs are not being met, then of course they're going to look for vehicles. And sometimes most of the times those vehicles are behavior problems. Okay. Number five is setting boundaries. Weak boundaries make kids feel really uncertain. Human beings want boundaries.

They don't want to be controlled. Like I said, they don't want those boundaries to be super tight and restrictive. The boundaries cannot be arbitrary because kids are brilliant and they'll see that your stupid rule literally means nothing. If you just pick, yes, you have to go to sleep at this time or you have to come be in the house at this time or we do this all the time, this exact and you're like, why? If you can't explain why with a very, very good reason.

They're going to see right through that and be like, this is totally arbitrary and stupid. You just made that up out of nowhere. You came up with some dumb thing you heard somewhere. So the boundary has to make sense. It has to be built with wisdom. It has to be actually pretty solid that they can trust it. That you're like, we don't do this. And then three days later you do it. And you're like, nope, this is our family standard. And next week you do something totally else. You're full of crap.

absolute hypocrite, right? And so if they see you being hypocritical, if they see you putting up a facade and wearing a mask, that you act like a barbarian or whatever at home and outwardly at church, you're Mr. Righteous and out on the street in the community business, you're just, you're the best, but you're actually a punk and you're just living a double life.

Greg Denning (33:38.254)
If your private life is pathetic, they know that. And they know your boundaries are a bunch of crap. And that you're a pushover and that you don't even hold your own boundaries or standards or values. Well, it's all going to fall apart. And of course that will absolutely 100 % lead to behavior problems and emotional reactions in our kids. establish and maintain really wise, really beautiful boundaries.

that the kids can rely on and then they feel safe. They feel protected and the boundaries give them enough room to make choices and have some freedom within the boundaries. So they start growing and developing their own autonomy and then they can grow into teens and then young adults that have space to make choices and they're absolutely rock solid. It's amazing. And then of course, number six is environment. All right, the environment. So it's the music, it's the movies, it's the media, it's the cleanliness.

of the house, it's the area you live in. It's the condition of the house. If things are always dirty and cluttered and broken down, if you or your wife are hoarders, if the place is filthy or nasty and 47 cats peeing on the lawn or in the carpet and whatever, it's a mess. And we've been in so many homes all over the world and sometimes the dad's disaster zone and sometimes the mom's a dumpster fire.

And sometimes the kids and the garage is horrendous. The closets a mess. The yard's disgusting. The car is always discussed. Now I get it. Like family life is messy. I totally get that. And so if it's messy, you clean it up and gets messy again. You clean it up. It's OK. But if it's just a chronic disaster zone, on, man. You got to make sure that environment's good and that it has good feelings most of the time. There should be a positive, good feeling the vast majority of the time. What's that environment like?

all the conditions. it's the family cultures, the family dynamics. It's, you know, is it too simple? Is it too broken? Is it too cheap? Are you just cheap with everything? Or is it nice and neat and clean in some aspects, carefully? It's actually luxurious. Like, it's very nice. Do you do things and do you do them well? Not to the point of, you know, where your stuff is more important than your kids.

Greg Denning (36:03.63)
But you're teaching them to have nice things and take care of them. And you're investing everything from books to art to vehicles to tools. You with me? Environment matters so much. So 11, there it is. So sleep, food, emotional modeling, meeting their needs, setting boundaries and environment. And obviously we can go, we can do a full episode on each one of those and really dig into them. And these are the things we cover in

The formidable family man tribe. We meet twice a week now and have these mastermind discussions and coaching principles like proven systems and strategies that the best principles and practices for all this stuff and so much more. Making sure that we are taking care of ourselves, mind, body and spirit. That we're helping our wives. And of course, this whole episode is about being phenomenal fathers and helping our kids really thrive and

dealing specifically with emotional outbursts and big emotions and behavioral problems and challenges. So much of that. If we'll just proactively go after these six things, so much of the behavioral problems will just go away. It's amazing. they'll just, problems you've been dealing with or not dealing with and reacting to this and wondering what to do, they will just go away. They'll be gone, done. Because we get these things lined up. So when we...

We help things get in the right state and we help things go right, go well. It's like, that's a non-issue. And so we have, we have seven children, gentlemen, and our kids are all emotionally healthy and we have great relationships with them. have great relationships with us and with each other. It's amazing. And I don't say that to brag or boast. I say it because it works. We have the results to back it up. I know what I'm talking about here.

because we created the results with seven kids and right now they're ages 22 to eight. And so we have the, you know, the whole spectrum and, I've been able to help, you know, I've been working with youth specifically in children for 27 years or more and working with families across five continents, thousands of families. We haven't been doing this for a long time. This stuff just works.

Greg Denning (38:29.698)
And if you want more tools and strategies, join the formidable family man tribe, grab the master class. Rachel and I are launching a brand new complete course on parent mentoring. And just parenting, you gotta be mentors and parents. So it's parent mentoring course that's coming out really soon, so look for that. But get the tools, get the resources, practices, talk to your wife about it, talk to your family about it, create plans, put reminders, alerts on your phone.

Like make this real and make this happen and watch, watch how emotional problems and behavior problems just melt away because we're helping our kids be in a genuinely happy, healthy state. Thanks for listening, brother. Let me know if have any questions. You can always respond here. me an email, connect with me on social media and get the tools and resources. I'm here to help you be the best husband, father, protector, provider and businessman you can be. Be the man.