#72 Training, Habits, and Rituals for Success as a Family Man, Businessman, and Athlete, with Ashton Buswell

Gentlemen, welcome to the Formidable Family Man podcast.

I'm your host, Greg Denning and today we've got a formidable family man coming from sunny Southern California.

I'm super excited about this conversation.

We're going to hit a lot of stuff.

Why I'm, I'm sure we are going to talk about fitness, family and finances today, among other things.

So Ashton, super grateful to have you here, brother.

Will you just just give us give this kind of your background, your story, tell us about yourself and your family and maybe even dive into some of those things you said were like a like a core foundation to shape you into who you are?

Yeah, yeah, I saw Ashton Boswell.

Ashton Mitchell Boswell is my name.

Live in sunny San Diego and love it here.

My wife never wants to leave.

We've been here 14 years.

But I'm not originally from here.

I was born in Colorado, kind of raised in Kansas, moved to Montana, moved to Utah and finished high school in Utah.

So I kind of claim I'm from Kansas and Utah.

Those are the, the places where I'm, I'm from mostly.

And now as an adult, I'm from San Diego and, and we love it here.

It was just before we started kind of recording, you know, I, I, I said there's a few things that I've kind of shaped who I am.

So to just dive right into that, like right at the right at the start is one that I moved around a lot.

Like as a kid, I understood what it felt like to be the one because I was the one when I moved to a new place, I was looking around for, I was like by myself and I didn't have any other friends and I was the one and I was looking for my brother at lunch.

I was lucky enough to have a brother older than me and younger than me.

When I moved, each time I had a, a brother that was I could kind of look out for, but that shaped a lot of who I am.

My faith in God and, and my, my religious beliefs has really shaped me.

A lot of who I am.

I come from a big family.

I come from a family of eight kids with incredibly tremendous parents that that has really shaped me a ton.

I was the middle as middle as you get.

I was the 4th kid.

We actually had a, there was five kids and the oldest was 5 at one point and it was boy, girl, boy, boy, boy.

So it was like condensed lots of us all together.

And my sister that was the girl is the toughest of all of us of that group.

She kind of had to be.

But that shaped to me a lot of of who I am.

And then wrestling.

I I wrestled and I'm a sports guy.

I'm 5-7 and three quarters.

You wouldn't believe it, but I was the MVP for the state of Utah in football my senior year, helped my team win state and whatever.

But I, I at 573 quarters, white guy.

I, I didn't have a lot of chance like going on any further in in in football, but I did in wrestling.

I wrestled, actually wrestled for the United States of America as a 15 year old in the the World Championships in the World Youth games and then went on to college and, and I my freshman year I won junior college nationals with a broken hand, which is a cool story.

And then served a mission for my church and came back and wrestled at University of North Carolina.

And wrestling has been such a big part of my life.

I actually got back into wrestling as a 40 year old two years ago.

I wrestled at.

The US Open.

And, and got myself in good enough shape to do that.

And this year and in like a month and a half, I'm going to be in Croatia wrestling again for the United States of America in the Masters.

Wrestling membership should be then.

Cool, that is awesome and Croatia is amazing.

I love it over there to.

Go Yeah, I haven't been yet.

I'm excited.

That's amazing.

OK, hold on.

So I I want to put a couple things together there.

Moving around a lot isn't always easy.

In fact, the most of the people I talk to, they, they in fact, a lot, a lot of people I've talked to that moved around a lot, they hate it, they bemoan it, they complain about it.

It's like it's this thorn in their flesh.

It's the reason why they can't XYZ whatever.

And then all, you know, it's a real struggle.

And then wrestling is tough, man.

Anything that's like any, any kind of fight, any combatives, any martial arts, you really get into it.

It is tough.

And wrestling especially is brutal.

And, and who of the things you mentioned that were really formative for you, They were hard like let's let's dive into that a little bit there.

Let's let's kind of expound on that and why that matters.

Yeah, no, that's, that's a good point.

I've never thought of it like that.

I mean, faith can be hard too, right?

My religious beliefs and who I, that can be hard at at times.

But those two things for sure moving around a lot.

The funny thing about moving around a lot, there's eight kids in my family and the younger, the younger, let's say 2, didn't really move that many times.

I guess my, my, my youngest sister was born in Kansas, lived in Montana.

And then, you know, before her third birthday, she lived in three states, but she didn't remember it.

All right, So she's from Utah, essentially.

That's how, that's where she grew up.

And, and the one just older than her was, really was younger too.

But we all grew a ton and we are all so grateful that we moved and none of us want to move because it was so hard.

We don't want to do that to our kids.

Now, now you're all like we have planted and we're staying.

Yeah, yeah, my little, my little sister just moved from Tremont, Utah down to St.

George, UT Her oldest kid is a, a 9th grader and that's a hard time to move.

And then she's got a middle, you know, a, a middle school, junior high and then one in elementary school.

And we're like, yeah, we know what that's like.

Like we 100% know what that's like.

And but we don't know whether we want to do that to our own kids.

But but I'm so grateful for it because it was so it was so challenging, right, to get in to find a new friend group to like have to reconnect.

Like I said, I I learned a lot of what developed me as like an empathetic person is like I was the guy that that I wanted people to like, say hi to me.

And that was my.

Story and I had to do that, yeah.

Well, because I, when I was incredibly shy and timid and, and I, I, I felt so isolated, so lonely, so desperate for anyone to even notice me or to have friends and connections.

Same.

And that like that drives so much of the empathy I have now.

And and when, when people are struggling, it's like, yeah, I get it because I remember.

Feels like.

How much it hurts.

Yeah.

So that that's super important.

And brother, you bring up such a a fascinating point.

As parents, sometimes we want to avoid doing the things that are really hard because they're really hard, right?

We're like, no, I don't want to do that to my family or I don't want to go through that because it's so much work.

And yet you and I are both saying, man, it was the hard stuff, but it was so formative.

Yeah, yeah.

And, and I think that's one of the temptations that we as fathers have to kind of keep at Bay of, of to make it too easy for our kids.

We want to, we want to, you know, give them all these nice things.

We want to make their lives like, let me help you out, son.

And sometimes helping them out is is maybe one of the worst things we can do.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I agree.

And it's funny, I think in my mind, because our world is, is so it is so easy for our kids.

And I guess not for every kid, right?

There's depending on your circumstance, but there's, I mean, most poorest people in the world have a cell phone, right?

Which wasn't around before.

And anyway, the, the, I think in my mind, like, how can I teach my kids to work hard?

How can I teach them discipline?

How can I teach them some of the hard lessons that I learned?

But at the same time, like, but we don't, but I don't want to move like I don't want to, I don't want to do that to them.

You know, how can I, you know, so it's hard as a parent to like to want both without having the actual experience of, you know, the the hardest thing.

That's a hard balance for sure.

It's tough.

OK, One thing you got seriously going for you though, and let's talk about that is, is not only did you wrestle at at high level, you're doing it again.

And your kids get to watch you not only compete, which is cool, but they get to watch you train.

And, and in my observation, I'm working with thousands of men and, and in my own experience with our seven children, like having your kids watch you train, watch you push, watch you overcome obstacles, watch you struggle is one of the very best things we can do for our children.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The, the, the crazy thing about this wrestling journey that I'm on right now is I thought it was just going to be a one and done thing at the US Open two years ago.

Like I saw some buddies do it.

The last few years.

I, I've had some really good healthy goals that helped me get into like really good shape.

Each year I've come up with something new that would like help me be stronger faster, you know, and I'm not stronger faster, but just like healthy, like fit and and healthy.

And one of the years was like I should wrestle.

My buddies are doing that.

I've seen him do it a couple years in a row.

I should totally do that wrestling.

And we went to the US Open.

I was anticipating A1 and done experience, but I I was 2 two different matches that I had while I was on the mat where the refs had to talk about something and I could hear my kids screaming for me, cheer me on and it hit me, man, I'm like on the I'm sure choking up about it right now, but I'm on the mat supposed to be smashing some dude's face in the mat and I'm getting choked up because I I became real present to like, not very many people get to see their 40 year old dad scrapping with another, you know, wrestling, which is a really difficult sport and it's and there's no like pick up wrestling.

You know what I mean?

There's pick up basketball.

Exactly.

But there's neighborhood wrestling.

Yeah, just come on down.

We're going to have to pick up wrestling like that doesn't exist.

My wifes like I, I love and, and my kids loved it so much and my wife loved it so much that I was like, I got to do this again because it was so fulfilling for me to be out there and having them like be in my corner too, you know, like I'm always in their corner.

But then now I had an opportunity for them to be in my corner and to feel like, what does that feel like?

To support dad, you know, and mom like in a different, in a different way.

So it was really cool.

So I was like, Dang, I got to do it again.

So I did it again.

And then I also thought like one of the things like that I post I made on social media a little while ago is what are you doing to inspire you?

And I, I put some thought into that because I want to inspire people.

Like I want to inspire my kids.

The pump faker of all of it is I hope you get inspired.

I hope my Co workers get inspired.

I hope some guy that I don't even know in Texas sees my stuff and gets inspired, right?

And I, I hope that there's that.

That's part of it.

But like, what am I doing to inspire me?

If I'm not doing something that's inspiring me enough, it's not going to inspire my kids that to the level that it could.

It's not going to inspire other people to the level that it could.

You know what I mean?

And I thought, what a cool experience to take my kids to Croatia, taking my wife and my four kids.

My mom and dad are coming to go have Buzzwell and USA on the back of my singlet.

I don't want to win.

I totally want to win.

I want to, I want to win some matches.

I want to win the gold.

I want to come home with that.

But man, if I do or if I don't, it honestly doesn't matter.

And I'm not going to put tons of pressure on myself to win, even though I really badly want to.

And I'm training like I'm going to and I'm putting all the mental reps in and I'm putting in the physical reps And I'm, you know, I'm at the gym and I'm doing all those things like whether I win or I don't win to be on that mat with my kids and my wife, Chan USA.

And I'm the one they're chanting for, dude, that'll be amazing.

Why am I getting so touchy and crying today, dude?

But it's meaningful.

It's meaningful, right?

Exactly.

It's the meaning.

Yeah.

I, I get to be.

I get to be somebody that that my kids someday will be like, I need to marry a man that does cool stuff, like my dad, that pushes himself, like my dad that challenges himself and does big things because that's what my dad did.

And I want my husband to do the same.

And like, yeah, I want you to find a man that's going to be pushing themselves and doing the best they can in all areas of life.

And, and then part of part of the challenge, I know this is your audience is, is trying to be balanced.

And I think balance is a misnomer.

I think I've, I've got the framework for a book called the Balanced Life for Sales professionals.

I'm a sales guy and creating a sales course.

But the pump fake is that it's actually not about balance.

It's about harmony.

How can I have harmony in all the different areas of my life so that when I have my relationship with my wife, it's harmonious and my kids, it's harmonious.

And I'm going to work more hours than I'm going to in a day that I'm going to spend with my family, Which if you think about it, that really sucks.

But as long as there's harmony there, then it, it kind of it, it works out anyway.

So, yeah, as I'm, as I, yeah, going going through, you know, I want my kids to, to see that dad did all these things.

I'm sorry I went off this tangent about the harmony because we can get lost in our we can get lost.

I can get so focused on my wrestling that I don't perform very well at work and I, and I don't have enough finances and I don't perform very well at home.

And I, and I'm not healthy there, right.

It's, it's important that there's harmony and balance through all of it so that you're not one sided.

It's unfortunate when people get so into their finances and so into their work that they lose their marriage and their kids.

And that happens sometimes.

And no judgement, but just as sad to me that that happens a lot.

You know, it happens too much.

And I think you're right.

You know, I love the word harmony and, and, and all that stuff.

The word I like to use optimization.

I think it's probably the same thing.

We optimize our lives so that it works because it's easy to get way off of balance, right and, and to lose the things that matter most.

And, and I love how you're leaning in.

This is so awesome.

It's a great example, brother, cuz you're leaning into fitness at a super high level for your family and with your family.

And, and one thing I like to like, I love to say that you, you touched on is it is incredibly difficult, if not impossible to be inspiring if we ourselves are not inspired, right?

And then you talked about that inspiring yourself and pushing yourself so that we can be the example for our kids and be the example for others.

You're watching.

We don't know who we're watching.

And yeah, yeah, I love that.

Yeah, I love that.

Hey, let's, let's go ahead.

There's a good there's a good lead in there to kind of your training habits and and routines and rituals.

Let's let's talk about that for a minute.

Like what is so somebody's watching like this is inspiring.

And I, I want to be more fit because I hear this is, is awesome.

My, my son went to a camp.

It was kind of this Ben and boys camp and he was in a different country.

Went and like most of the guys were in their early 40s and he said they were all like a little overweight and, you know, tired.

And they were all sitting around like, and once you hit 40 just going down, you just and they were, they were saying to him, you can't be fit and healthy after 40.

Like you just your body stops.

You can't.

And he's like, what are you talking about?

Like my dad's still fit, still like still pushing.

Are we like, no, no, he must be, he must be taking something or whatever, right?

But what are you, what are you doing day in and day out?

What are the routines look like?

What's food look like?

What's fitness look like?

Give us some of the give us some of the strategies that are working for you.

Yeah, some of the nuts and bolts.

So I do a couple things, and I am not a superhero by eating beans, but I'm trying to be a superhero in the eyes of my kids.

And where I think you win is, and I go back to this all the time, is consistent effort over time.

Consistent effort over time always wins.

If I had a Twinkie for breakfast, lunch and dinner consistently over time, I would get results and it'd probably be called diabetes, You know what I mean?

I would get, I would get some bad results.

If I didn't consistently over time I would get results.

So the same goes on our on the positive on the, you could go to the gym and work for 20 hours in a day and you're not going to get a whole lot out of it.

But if you went for an hour a day for 20 days, you're going to get a whole heck of a lot more out of it, right?

So consistent effort over time is, is, is how you win.

Something that I try to do every day is I try to have meaningful connections with the most important parts of my life before 10:00 every day or 9:00 if I can.

So some of my nuts and bolts routines is the meaningful connection and, and I used to not be and I'm still not a like a early riser.

If I if it were up to me, I'd be a night owl all the time and everything would start later in the day.

Maybe I should move to Portugal or something because I know something start later.

Or or Spain.

Or Spain, Yeah, Yeah.

But anyway, I, I, I, I'm up at 5:00 and I connect with my God.

I, I pray and read my scriptures and then I am at the gym at 5:30 and I'm at the gym from 5:30 to 6:30 on my way to the gym and I have a workout partner.

So sometimes I got ear earbuds in and I'm listening to books and I'm listening to good things pouring into my brain at the gym.

But sometimes I'm, I'm connecting with him and having some social connection.

But on the way to and the way back, I'm definitely listening to things.

So I, I connect with my body, I connect with my mind before I get home and then I and I have the blessing of waking up my kids.

It works out with our, my work schedule that I get to wake up my kids and that that's hour from 6:45 in the morning to 7:45 in the morning is the my most sacred hour of my day because that's when I get to be with my kids and I'm like all in with my kids.

So I wake them up and we joke and we play and I give them breakfast and then I get them up.

We pray together before they leave for the school bus or for, for school and, and then my, my wife will, she'll go.

And then after we've got the kids all off, then, then that's my time for me to have a meaningful connection with my wife.

Now, if I've done that by 9:00 AM or 10:00 AM, I've connected with my God, with my body, my fit and with my mind and with every one of my kids and my wife.

That's a that's a crazy successful day.

And so that morning has been really important for, for me.

And that's, and it's changed over time, right?

It's changed as, as time's gone on And, and sometimes I, I wouldn't wake up as early and I would do all the, you know, do some things that I would work out a little bit later.

And, and so it's just, I think we need to be like flexible to what, what our life circumstances are, But, but those things are super important for me.

And then at the end of the night, I try to work.

So if that's done by like 9 or 10, then I've got a lot of hours to work.

We try to have scripture study at 8:15.

So I, I'm trying to, and my, my job, I'm 100% commissioned solar sales guy.

I'm creating a course on sales and for new salespeople or people that are trying to like, you know, learn how to build relationships and things.

So hopefully that becomes a big part of who I, you know, my work, my work life as well.

But I'm trying to be done by like 8:00 so that I can have some time before scripture study to to bond.

And that's not a whole lot of extra time.

But then we have scripture study and then we talk about the day and then we pray together and then spend a little bit of time and then put the kids to bed.

That gives me a lot of hours in the day to work.

But having having some harmony, harmonious experiences in the morning, right, with all of the parts of my my most important relationships and then again at night make a big, big difference for me.

You know what kind of the bookends of my day?

Are are a little more structured and and help me to have really powerful days.

Yes, I love that and it's man, so, so many similarities.

I love this because again, my core and I think we've had a very similar journey.

You get up every morning and you address your mind, body and spirit, what you're doing and then you're connecting with your kids and then with your wife and that's all before you start your work day, right?

I have a curiosity here.

What are you doing with your cell phone from the time you get up until the time you leave from work?

So great question.

Be leave my cell phone in the car or like when I go exercise, one of the things that I, I, I talk about flipping switches, like a light switch, like turn your brain on and off when it's time to be on and off of stuff, right?

So my phone's on do not disturb basically until after I take the kids, you know, kids at 7:40, five, 8:00.

That's when I'll like turn my phone back on to like on where I can, where I can.

Then now I'll, now I'll respond or, and, or hear text messages and things like that.

But that wasn't always the case, right?

And as I'm kind of developing things, I'm spending some time journaling and I need to get better at like booking journaling time into my, into my day because I, I think that's really healthy.

And I, and I don't really do that much right now.

While I was doing that, I was, I had my phone because I would kind of do some timer stuff with my phone.

And then I would go down these rabbit holes, man.

And I just would find myself responding to things or looking at different stuff.

Or then I would start to think about work things because, oh crap, I got this going on today that I, I, I forgot about, or you know what I mean?

Like I, I start getting into my work sooner than I want.

And so now I just keep it on Do not Disturb and, and I'm, and I'm human.

If I pick up my phone to go to the gym because I know my workout partner's not going to be there and I want to listen to some audio books or something like that, I might see some text message and I'd be like, well, maybe I'll just like look at it.

And like I was supposed to be hitting some reps here and now I'm responding to text messages.

Yeah, I try really, really, really hard not to respond, but I might look at them.

I might look at them and just know what I need to respond to in an hour, you know?

But the times that I could not do that is better because I'm just giving myself my, my brain and my mind like that.

Like you said that mind, body and spirit connection and connection with the most important relationships.

So yeah.

I'm trying, yeah.

So it's so important.

And, and, and I, I can totally relate to you on all of that.

And I find that the more often because I, I like to go into airplane mode.

So when I'm going to bed, I just kick it on airplane mode.

So it's not, you know, it's not in the bedroom.

You send off radiation or whatever distraction.

And then I find that if I can leave, the longer I leave it off, the better the mornings.

And the better the mornings, the better the day.

The better the day, the better the life goes.

Yeah.

And man, I, I love technology.

It is so powerful and we get so much done with it.

But we have got to be so diligent about keeping it in its place.

Yeah.

And, and I think as, as dads, we've got to be leading that example for our kiddos because they, they grow up not knowing any different.

I mean, they've your kids, my kids, they've just know nothing but screens, right?

Yeah, yeah.

It it came along during our lifetime, but their lifetime, they that's all they know and.

As far as?

There's a place.

It's hard as a dad.

There's been tons of studies about screens with kids and social media with kids and tons of things, right?

And again, no judgement like I'm on my end of any of those things.

But it's hard.

It's hard as a dad to want to help my kid see that there's a time and a place for these things because they see me like I'm, I'm 100% commissioned sales guy.

I make money if I answer the phone and respond like that's how I that's how I'm able to provide fruit for you kid, you know, like, but to you it's just like, well, what are you?

You're always on your phone, dad, why can't I be on my phone?

Well, because you're not putting food on the table while answering your phone.

You're just like doing some silly game with your friend.

That's like not important or, or looking at other people and what their highlight reel is, you know, like it's really hard.

But I, but I think really, also really important for us as dads to like help our kids, make sure that we give, we give them enough that they can have some technology because they're whether we like it or not, they're going to be faced with technology forever, right?

So they need to be underneath our tutelage a little bit while they have access to it, I think, but at the same time helping them see what what its place is, like you said, putting it in its place.

This is this tool is just that.

It's just a tool.

You and I are here in person.

This is the most important thing right here, right now.

And when you're in person with your friends, it's more important to be there with them than be on your cell phone doing stuff.

You're you're there, you know, and whatever.

So.

Yeah, if we can teach them that presence, right and and be face to face and be with people, that's so powerful.

I love that great insight.

Yeah.

Hey, before I forget, let's let's hit a little bit on food just because I know you're, you're lean, right?

You're, you're shredded.

You're, you're training for competition.

What's that look like for food?

Something that's helped me recently 2 phrases.

Hopefully one of your listeners get something out of these two things.

Two things that have helped me lately is one, when I'm about to eat something, I'll ask myself, is this premium fuel?

Yes, because when I'm, you know, and I have yesterday was a bad day for me.

I had lots of press processed foods and lots of things in packages because I was it's where I was, it's what I could have I needed some calories in my body, right, but I'll look at stuff and I'll be like, is this premium fuel?

And if it's not premium fuel, I'm trying to create a like the premium body, right?

And if it's not premium fuel, it's not going to really help me that much.

And so I, I try not to put anything that's not premium fuel in my body.

So it's just premium fuel.

And then the other one is the thought that it's OK to be hungry.

It's OK to be hungry.

I say that all the time.

I was constantly telling my client.

Bro it's OK to be hungry like.

They're like, yeah, I, I stopped to eat this crap.

Like, why?

Like I was hungry.

I'm like, so it's OK to be hungry?

OK, to be hungry.

I love that.

Yes, yes, that's good.

So sorry you everybody already knows that.

But those two things have like really helped me out a lot because we have we have so much access to food, right?

It's around us all the time.

We can, you know, if you're at home and you work from home, I God bless mothers that are stay at home mothers that are around food all the time and don't balloon up, you know, because when I'm working from home, I'm like, there's that, you know that.

Pantry.

The fridge.

Yeah, there's so much.

So it's hard to be like, OK, being hungry.

But those those things have really helped me.

The other thing I'm sugar is my vice.

I love sugar and I've actually been really proud of myself that I've had less sugar recently and I've been trying to trying to replace it with protein.

So I have 3, three different protein habits that have helped me.

I love cereal and I went, I've gone through like maybe just about every protein cereal that you can find to try to find one that like I can actually eat that I like that tastes, tastes good enough.

And that is more healthy for me because it's got more protein in there to kind of satiate my, my hunger and to build in my body the nutrients that it needs.

Then I have a, a protein shake and I, I learned a long time ago and I know there's studies about it and I could be way off.

You probably know more about it, but I've had people talk to me about a metabolic window after you exercise that you got 20 or 30 minutes to put the best nutrients into your body after you exercise.

And so, and I was like, yeah, maybe that's real, maybe that's not.

But for my body, it is totally worked.

After I work out, I make sure that I get a protein shake into my, I get protein into me, like right, right after I exercise and I'm, I'm telling my body, this is what I want you to go rebuild these, these are the tools, right?

This is the fuel I want you to use to go rebuild those muscles that I just broke down.

And it's really, really helped me with like muscle mass and like, you know, a little more definition in my muscles.

And then the last thing, because at night time, I've trained my body my whole life that I end on sweets.

I end the day with a cookie.

I end up my dinner with some sweets and some pie and some licorice and some whatever and then I, you know, I'd eat it.

I would have something after dinner.

I usually have something after lunch and between lunch and dinner some sweet and then I'd have dinner and I'd have something right after dinner and then right before bed I would also have some sweets.

I just love sweets.

But I've tried really hard to stay away from that.

And I have for the most part.

But at night time I'm not paid by G to G but I I should get sponsored by them.

I love their G to G bars, but I have AG to G bar at the end of the night that's a protein bar that also has a lot of natural ingredients in it.

So there's a there's a fair amount of sugar in it comparative to some of the other ones.

But what it does for me at night time, instead of grabbing for some, you know, chocolate or licorice or cookies, I'll grab AG to G bar or a half AG to G bar.

That gives me some of the sweets to my tongue, but then also satiates my hunger because it's got, you know, it's more protein in there.

At night time.

I'm getting, I'm getting my sweet Ceres, but I'm getting protein.

And those three things that shake, you know, the, the shake right after exercising my protein cereal instead of regular cereal and then having a GDG bar or, or some sort of protein bar at the end of the day, replacing my sweets has has made made a big difference for me.

And then the thoughts of it's OK to be hungry and and premium fuel and.

Premium fuel, yes.

And that's a great principle there.

I think there's something really simple and yet profound and saying, well, well, this thing I like and this thing, you know, we had this as a kid or whatever and just saying, well, what, how can I just upgrade that a little bit?

How can I get a little bit of better replacement?

I, I, I do something very similar.

Whenever I'm craving sweets, I go to a protein, I just go chase down a protein.

Or if I want something sweet, I'm going to, I'm going to chase down something.

Like one of our family favorites is frozen berries in like whole milk.

And it's just, you're getting the, the, the antioxidants and the berries with the, the cream and the fats and the proteins and we love it, right.

And so you're like, oh, I'm craving something.

We'll, we'll just quickly grab something that's a better option.

And it, it's, it's a simple strategy.

It still tastes good, right?

Our our rule in the family is like it has to be delicious and nutritious.

There you.

Go like it.

We we're going to enjoy it.

And yet it's a little bit, it's a little upgrade, it's a little premium upgrade.

I love that man Premium upgrade.

Little premium upgrade.

Premium, sure, yeah.

That's fantastic.

So good.

Thanks for sharing that brother.

I love that.

Let's let's switch to work and, and finances chasing financial success.

Like you, you already mentioned, it's a, it's a real challenge for men.

We're, we're driven to be providers and we're driven to be successful, especially if we're high achievers, right?

We, we, we have ambition, we have drive and we want to win and, and all great things.

But man, that can get a that can get out of proportion or it can become a priority over other things.

It's so challenging.

So what are what are some things in in your career?

What have you?

What have you found that what works to win without sacrificing other things?

We talked about the matter so much.

Yeah, I think the, the being really intentional and then just making sure the most important things are, are scheduled first, right?

Most important that those other parts that we've already talked about, right?

Your, your family, your fitness, your faith that those are scheduled in already.

So that those so that work.

If you don't schedule those in a lot of jobs and if you're a high achiever can just completely take over.

And, and if, if, if that happens, then you're kind of in a bad spot.

One of the things that, that for harmony in our home, I, I go on a weekly date night with my wife and I go on a, a weekly date with one of my daughters.

I have four daughters.

So most of the time there's four Tuesdays or four weeks in a month, you know, four and a half, 4.3 weeks in a month.

So I, I go on a date with each of my daughters at least once a week.

And that gives them their individual time that it's just me and them.

We get to do fun stuff together and that really helps for the harmony in my home and in my harmony with my relationship with them.

But if I so some people are like, wow, that's mind blowing.

That's crazy.

I why do you do that?

How do you do that?

If it's important enough for me, then I'll make it.

And I, and I actually had, I'm a frugal guy.

We spend our money on experiences, right?

I'm, I'm going to fly my kids to Croatia with me.

That's going to be expensive.

And I could, I could probably buy a rental property for what it's going to cost me to take my family to, you know, Croatia, but I'd rather have them have that experience than buy a rental property.

I why did I go on that tangent?

What was I saying?

Greg?

This is 4040 year old.

Brain here.

It's just you're investing, investing in experiences, right?

Oh, and I'm sorry, I was going with, with, with the time with my kids.

So if I didn't schedule a date night, then I, it wouldn't be as important.

But I, I heard somebody one time a little while ago, they were like, look, you should look at your take your wife to nice places and, and don't, don't go on a budget like as I was like, yeah, let's do something fun and maybe we'll do a picnic.

And you can do that every once in a while and, and save some money.

But I was like, you know what, I'm going to look at this as like my most important investment and the most important event on my calendar every week is my day, right?

And so, so if I don't, if I don't book those in and I let work take over, then that I'm going to lose out on some of those most important things.

So I know you want me to talk about finances and work.

Well, no, but this is it.

This is, this is how, this is how you you keep that in check and and you keep work in a window.

Like I have to succeed within this window and I'm going to keep that window from encroaching constantly on family time, right.

And and not that, hopefully we get around to the date and if we get there, we'll just throw something together.

We'll just do something because she understands.

It's like, no way man, make that a premium experience.

Yeah, hey.

That is the one of the best times of the week.

And we we do dates with our kiddos too.

And we we have we're on A7 week rotation.

Yeah, I guess 505 week rotation.

But yeah, dividends investments in a relationships it's worth it.

So just quick, quick question on that.

Is that just kind of a given now in your calendar just for for good or do you plan it every month in advance or every year in advance or each week?

Do you use an actual calendar and do you schedule it in or is this it's a given like every Tuesday I'm on a date with one of my daughter's.

What my the times change, right as your as your kids schedules change and as your life changes and things.

So you got to be a little flexible.

It used to be every Tuesday, this was what it was.

Kids are going when they're in elementary school and it's a little easier for me to just be like, this is what it is.

My wife's that that date is that one set.

It's unless something else, unless something else comes up where, you know, where there's a concert we want to go to instead of Friday night, it's it's on Saturday night and we'll bump it to another night or, or whatever.

But, and now with my kids, it's more of, all right, we're going to plan it a week or two in advance.

I was going to go on a date with my oldest daughter this week, but she really loves the Padres and so and there's a giveaway next Wednesday.

So she's like, Dad, can we instead of going on our date this week, can we go on our date next week?

Because I want, I really want to get that, that hoodie.

Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I want that hoodie too.

Let's go next week.

So we kind of talked through it, right.

And, and her, and one thing that I've done too with dates is I've sometimes combined them with other kids because I'm like, oh, I would love to do this thing with more than one kid.

And I was reminded just yesterday our, our three-year old can get into the games and they let him get in free after a certain age or whatever.

And, and, but they'll also give her a shirt so I can get, you know, buy 2 tickets, get 3 shirts, 3 hoodies.

And, and my, my 11 year old was like, you should take Hazel so that, so that you can get an extra shirt.

And then I, I was driving with, with Hallie, my oldest, and I was like, hey, you know, would you be OK with us taking Hazel or, or you know, would you purse?

She's like, I don't really care as long as if, if Hazel comes though, we need to have another just you and me date and I'm like, perfect.

Yeah, done.

We're not going to take Hazel.

It's just going to.

Be it's just going to be like.

Yeah, if that means if we're adding her in, then that takes away from our one-on-one time.

And I was like, OK, sweet.

Yeah, no, you're right.

You're right.

It's just going to be me and you.

We won't take Hazel.

So anyway, long answer to your question of like the my, the date night with my wife 100% locked in, we're doing that unless we plan something different.

And then with my kids, we're going around schedules and but talking about it so that they can kind of plan around it.

And I don't think those, honestly, those don't need to be like big massive dates with my little kids.

Like honestly, going to the park and getting some ice cream and let's go to like multiple different parks.

That's it.

They just want to go to the park with me, you know, and play.

And I've got a funny story.

So let me let me this you, you may get some value to your listens may get some value to this.

So when I was growing up, I wrestled across all of Kansas.

And we'd wake up early in the morning and my dad would take me and my older, older brother that wrestled and we would drive, you know, a couple hours to some small podunk town and we'd have a wrestling tournament.

And on the way home, my dad would ask me the question or ask us the question, depending if it was just me and my dad or me and my brother and my dad, he'd say, do you want to talk about girls or do you want to talk about wrestling?

And that was his introduction question to like, let's talk about life now.

Let's let me check in, see how things are going for you.

Right?

And I love that.

That was like.

I love that question.

I love that question because it's going to be like, well, tonight it's girls.

Let's talk about girls, Dad.

And he gave it.

He left it up to me.

What do you want to do, Ashton?

Well, let's talk about girls right now.

Or, you know, whatever, or school or whatever.

So I'm on a date with my one of my daughters and we, well, the week before I'm on it where it was night time and I was showing my daughter like the Orion's belt and we're looking for the Big Dipper and stuff.

And we came and we downloaded an app that that you can show and see all the constellations and go find Mars.

And you know what I mean?

Like it was cool.

It was fun.

So the next week.

My other daughter heard about it and she was like, oh, yeah, this is great.

And we were talking and I was like, so tell me, how's how's life going?

And she was like stars.

And I was like, well, well, what's school like?

Like, how's school been?

And how's that?

You know, how's that going?

She was like moon.

And I was like, yeah, but I mean, you're doing soccer and stuff like, how's things going on the soccer time?

She's like more stars.

So I said, I said, Jane, do you want to talk about life or the Galaxy?

And she's like the Galaxy.

And I was like, OK, let's talk about the Galaxy.

So now instead of like on my days, I'll often just start asking questions about how life is going and stuff like that.

But if I ever need an introduction to like, hey, I want to talk now instead of just like, you know, little things, like I'll ask my, all my kids know about that story.

And so now I'll ask, Hey, do you want to talk about do you want to talk about life or do you want to talk about the Galaxy?

And that that's my opener to like, hey, like we can have a deeper, more meaningful conversation right now if you want.

And hopefully that's six forever.

It's not.

I think my dad's is better.

Do you want to talk about girls are wrestling?

But either way, you know, we can we can work it in.

And maybe I'll talk about do you want to talk about life, boys or the Galaxy?

Maybe I could add an extra 1 in there?

Right.

Yeah, some of your older ones.

It's time to start talking about boys.

Yeah, yeah.

Those are fun conversations man, but having that open communication with kids is absolutely priceless.

So important, so important.

Yes, let me go back to the work because you've asked me about work and I've not that I've been dodging it, but I've been talking about the way that you don't let work over power everything else as these other things.

But in work, I can talk about the, the light switch analogy of turning your brain on and turning your brain off when when it's time to to be at work, I'm always working to provide for my family and my why is my family.

And I think you should have a bag of wise more than just one.

Why?

But I, you know, there's times when it's time to be off of home and to be on work, similar to the idea of keeping your phone off until 8:00 or 9:00 or, or whatever, so that you get these other things done when it's time to be on work, it's also time to be off of those other things.

And, and sometimes there's some communication that needs to be had.

I want my wife and my kids to go to all the barbecues that they're invited to on Saturday.

But I'm in sales and, and in home sales, most people are home on Saturday.

So Saturday is actually a really big work day for me.

And I try to take other time where it's not as big of a work day, but Saturday's a big work day.

When I was in the throes of door to door and, and out there, I would tell my wife, Hey, listen, I want you to go to the BBQ.

I want you to go to the beach.

When our friends invite you to the beach and I want you to take pictures and I don't want you to talk to me.

I don't want you to call me and say, hey, we got invited to the beach.

We got invited to the BBQ.

I just want you to go.

Are you OK with that?

Just you and the girls, You guys go because I need to focus on work.

This is like my most important day.

And not that I don't want to be there because I do want to be at the beach and I do want to be at the barbecue and I do want to be at all these things.

But for us right here, right now, this is my most important time.

And so unless it's like a big emergency or one of our kids is like, you got to come dad or crying or whatever, can you please like help me by protecting this time of my work and you guys go have all the fun.

And that's a conversation that we had to have and we had to have a couple of times because it was the most important time for me.

And in that moment and, and that communication was, it was helpful, right?

And there's other times where I'll go into a project and you know, I love my wife more than anyone on the earth and the world's.

And, but I also sometimes be like, Hey, I need to be really focused for the next 4 hours.

If there's something that you need and it's an emergency, please your, I'll answer your call or I'll respond to your text.

But if it's something that you don't need, I'm going to be all in zoned on this project.

And, and if it can wait then and let's, let's see if it can wait and, and, and we'll talk about it later.

And having that kind of communication of like turning.

I'm, I'm, I'm telling you right now, I'm turning my whole brain on to work right now.

Not that I don't want to talk about, you know, plans for the weekend because I do, But if I can not take my brain off of that focus, right?

Because then I got to refocus again and get my brain going again.

If I can somehow figure out how to do that, then I'm going to be better off and my whole family's going to be better off.

And most likely the thing that we she may have wanted to talk about in the middle of the day wasn't all that important.

And it could be talked about in two hours or three hours or 4 hours from now, right?

And so, so some of that being affected at.

Work right there.

Go ahead.

That's still powerful.

I think there, I think there's two things there at least at least the way I see things in, in my perspective is like there's two things there that are absolutely critical or it won't work.

Is and your, your, your principal practice is fantastic, right?

We have to have that kind of communication.

But as I, as I'm listening to someone, yes, dialed in to them, cool.

There's two things that have to be true in order for that to work.

Number one, we have to give our wives all the time and attention they deserve and want and need when we're not focused at work.

Because if we're negligent, we're distracted.

If I'm on my phone, if I'm playing video games or watching TV or I'm not paying attention to her.

And then I say, babe, you can't interrupt me.

Not going to work.

The second work is if is if I ask her, hey, babe, don't call me and don't distract me so I can be focused.

And then she finds out that I'm not being focused, I'm not getting results.

I'm I'm distracted by something else or I'm not, you know, creating real results.

Yeah.

It won't.

It won't work either because are you kidding me?

You're asking me not to reach out to you so you can get work done and then you don't get work done on.

Except, right Is it?

I think those two elements have to be true for this caliber of an awesome conversation and boundary to work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it, and I'm not perfect and it's always a work in progress, right, because things are going to come up.

The second part of what you just said, like yesterday, I got distracted, man.

I, you know, sports stuff and other things that I'm, I'm supposed to be in the zone and I'm trying to be dialed and I, and I'm doing my best and sometimes like, oh dude, that looks really cool.

I want to let me go, let me go check that out real quick and see that sports player and and then I.

What am I?

This isn't, this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing right now.

Is just really, you know, the most value right this second.

No, a question that I've asked here's, here's a question that that I, that pulls me back into what I need to be doing right now is, is this serving me?

And I, and I mostly asked this in the work setting is, is this, is this serving me right now?

Is this the most important thing?

And some people use the acronym win what's important now, right?

Is this is this this my win or or is this serving me?

And because you can go down some like it's easy to go down rabbit holes of things, right?

There's I can do busy work and I can do paperwork, but there's other people maybe that I could ask to do the the busy work and me do the real stuff that's going to turn the engine.

But I'm getting distracted work, but it's just not serving me.

Like something else could be serving me and I could ask somebody else to maybe help me do this thing or whatever, But it's, it's, it feels nice and it's easy to get things done, even though they're not like the most important things to get done, you know?

And so that question pulls me back in.

Is this serving me right now?

Is this serving me right here?

You know, and I'll, I'll when I'm on ESPN.com, That's, that's what I'm asking myself.

Is this serving me?

Do I need to do I need to be watching this woman's tennis match?

You know, this woman's tennis highlight or this men's tennis highlight?

Is this serving me?

Like I like tennis, but I'm not like a hardcore tennis, but it sounds like a cool shot.

Wait a minute.

This isn't serving me.

I'm not supposed.

They had some kind of like some kind of alert that could pop up every time we get on something and say like, hey, is this serving you?

Hey, Greg, is is this serving you right now?

Oh, no, it's not.

Let's go get back.

Oh, such a great question, such a great question.

Let's let me let me just ask one more, one more question related to this.

What do you feel like gives you a competitive advantage in your field?

Like what?

What's one thing that you've done or doing that that that just works man, for creating real results?

That's a great question.

I, I studied this a bunch because I'm trying to get in creative sales course for new, new sales reps, first year sales reps.

And I, I've had people point out to me some things that they feel like I've done.

And then as I've like observed and, and looked at other people, I think it's a, it is a real formula for, for success.

And lots of times people will have a ton of talent and they won't work very hard because they can get by on their ton of talent.

And there's other people that, that don't have a ton of talent that work their guts out.

And they also will get, they will get the results that they want.

It's rare to have a combination of both of those.

And where I feel like I and, and I think some of it, oh, look at these, I'm getting some, some balloons over here.

What the heck?

Some of the, some of these I think come from some of my wrestling background that one of the things that's so great about wrestling is it's an individual sport.

It's you and one other guy, there's a ref out there.

Sometimes he makes a mistake, but you got to be better.

You got to take it out of the ref's hands.

You know, it's just, it's, you're accountable to you and you win or lose.

If you, if you lost, it was your fault.

If you win, it's your fault.

You know, in a lot, in a lot of regards, you're the same way you weigh in, in college, I weighed, weighed in with within .1 of a pound of almost every single one of my competitors.

We weighed the exact same, you know, and so it comes down to your work ethic and to your skill.

So those those two things I think have really been what has helped me out a lot is that I, but I also don't consider myself like the best sales guy in the world.

Like I consider myself one of the best.

Let me let me take that back.

I consider myself one of the best in the world at door to door solar cells.

And I've got data to prove that too.

But, but like, as far as like persuasion and slick sales guy, I'm actually not that guy.

I've developed a ton of that though over time and I've beat on my craft and, and to be really successful, like ultra successful in in your work career, you've got to develop talent and then continue working.

Some guys will naturally be talented and they don't work all that hard.

If they really want to get to the next level, they got to put in a ton of work with their natural talent and it'll take it'll skyrocket.

The people that don't start out with a lot of talent that can be developed like you can develop and you can learn whatever craft it is.

I had a carpet recycling business for a little while.

I was one of the best carpet recycling guys in the world.

Who knows about carpet recycling?

You know what I mean?

Like, there's, there's only ample.

Yeah, there's only ample of us anyway.

So it's easy to be one of the best in the world at it.

But I, I studied it and I and I learned and I was trying to become understanding all the aspects of it so that I could become one of the best in the world.

And you can, you can become one of the best in the world if you put enough effort into it, even if you don't start out.

I knew nothing about carpet.

I know way more about carpet right now than I've ever wanted to know, right?

But you can become whatever it is that you're set out to become, even if you don't have the talent to begin with, As long as you beat on your craft and trying to learn that, but then not lose sight of what got you where you are, right?

If you become really talented and then you're like, well, man, I used to, I used to go out in prospect for like 7 or 8 hours a day, but I only needed to go out like 3 or 4 hours a day now to get the same result.

Well, what if you did go out for seven or eight hours a day?

You'd be twice as good.

You know, instead of settling for So what you had before because you're better now.

Why don't you keep working really hard and then you can, it's not like you're, you're missing out on a lot of life.

If you were planning your life properly around your work, then then you, you know, you could be in a great place.

So those those two things, that's that those have been things that really helped me.

That's.

Such a simple and powerful equation.

Put, put in the work.

Really, really earn it through work, and then really earn it through skill or talent development.

Yeah, put those two pieces together, pay the price, and you get the reward.

Pay the price and then continue to put it in the work after you've paid the price for the talent, right?

What's the talent acquisition?

Is there Steph Curry?

Is an example.

OK, yes, he's he's awesome.

He's a great.

He's still.

Putting the work, How long is he going to say about that?

Everybody says he's the best shooter ever.

The dude still putting the work.

Kobe Bryant wins the work, gets second in the NBA, goes to the world, you know, to represent the United States at the Olympics.

He wakes up at like 4:00 in the morning, gets a workout in before people are even woken up, right?

Like still most talented, but they put in the work.

Sorry, challenge.

What was the challenge you were?

Saying challenging question here.

At what point do you purposely hold back?

When or OK, is there a point?

And if so, at what point do you purposely pull back and not just keep chasing success at that pace?

Is there a point where you you deliberately, not because you're lazy, not because whatever you're like, hey, I don't need to keep chasing this at this pace.

You step back a little bit.

Yeah.

It's a tough question.

Great question, Tough question.

And I, I talk about sacrificing at the right time.

So I do think there's a time and a season for extra work.

And it's mostly particularly at the start of something.

I think if you're in a new job or if you're in a new job or if you're in a new role at a new job, right?

When I became AVPI earned the role, but in my mind, I had to re earn and I had to show everybody that I was worthy of it.

Do you know what I mean?

So the start of a the start of a new goal or a new position or whatever.

I need them to know that like that, that I've I've earned this.

And here's some of the reasons why, you know, so sacrifice at the right time would be something that I would say to that.

But it's hard to it's hard to the challenge of that question is everybody's life circumstances a little different, right.

And so let's do it for you do.

You ever think there's a time in your life when you think like, you know what?

I I went after it, I won.

It's time to work less.

Again, this philosophical question out of out of the blue.

Just hypothetical.

What do you think?

So for me, I and that's that's, that's.

That's such a great question.

Good job.

You've stumped me.

I don't get stumped on some of these sometimes.

No.

And and it's, and again, it's just, it's kind of coming out of it and thinking through this like because I love achievement and I and I work with high achieving driven men.

The guys listening to this are just go getters and we love that stuff.

And again, it's a it's a philosophical big life question of like, is there a time to on purpose take your foot off the gas to lean into other things?

Yeah, so here's what I what I'm struggling with is and, and in how you measure life, it talks about that money.

Money is a hygiene factor.

And then you work really hard for, for, you know, accomplishment and praise and then you work for your legacy.

So like what's your legacy going to be long term?

And I think that people work their guts out until they get to a certain amount of money.

And then money is like more of a hygiene factor.

Like I need money to live, I need money to eat, I need money for those things.

But I would say that my my focus, not that I, again, I'm like not crazy independently wealthy.

I'm not independently wealthy.

I I'm still working for hard for my money, But I think that well.

You have to because you live in Southern California.

Yeah, I know that's expensive here, but I think my focus has changed from money driven to impact driven, beautiful.

And so as I, as I transition to trying to get to more impact, I still put my foot on the gas, right?

Like I'm, I'm all in it, I'm going hard because, but it's a different purpose.

So when is that?

When was the point of when I took my foot off the gas for my personal gain versus my impact?

It's probably honestly longer than most people think.

You, you see all the stories of people that are making all this money and they have all these rental properties and it's like, Oh, it's easy and it's not easy, man.

I've lost a lot of money in investments and I'm a smart guy and I've researched ton and I've put a ton of money in and I've got nothing back.

I think, I think that happens to all of us.

If you if you are investing, you're going to lose some money.

You're going to lose.

Yeah.

And I've had more losers than I've had winners.

And that's a heartbreak that that's happened.

But that's just part of the game, you know, I'm just playing.

I'm playing the game.

And so I think that, that, you know, sometimes when people look at like if there's a number or a number of years of how much should I, you know, when should I take my foot off the gas in my, in my life to, to continue to progress or grow or where I need to have money.

Like, I think it's going to honestly take a little bit longer than than most people think.

So, you know, for, for me, it's again, I, I transition, I still need money because I still need to provide for, for everything.

But I, I think I've shifted my pedal to the metal from like making money to impacting people.

And I think if you did that, if you do that sooner, right, if you're in sales, particularly, that's my, my field.

And I not even, not even if you're an engineer and you're thinking, how can I impact my engineering firm versus how can I make more money?

The side benefit is that you're actually gonna probably make more money because you're impacting and creating value.

Yeah, along the way, Yeah, you're going to you're going to add more value, you're going to feel way better about it and you're going to earn more.

I love that.

And I like there's, there's a part of me that I say, look, I'm never going to retire.

I love what I do.

I'm just going to keep doing it.

But the, the purpose will change.

And and for me, like I shifted hours to here's why this is several years ago.

I read this report.

You, you probably read this before.

It's, it's called the top five regrets of the dying.

And there was this nurse, Bonnie Ware.

She was a nurse for 12 years with terminally ill patients.

And she just would talk to them and listen to them if she's taking care of them.

And it really goes along with how we measure life by Clayton Christiansen.

Excellent book.

And so she goes through and, and she's like, you know, these are the top five.

I heard this again and again and again, saw the patterns.

It was amazing.

And, and that the whole, there's a, there's an article we can read for the shorter version of the whole book.

It's just absolutely amazing what they regretted and but the one thing that struck me with so much force when I read this, she said that every single male patient that she cared for without exception, all said they wish they had worked less.

Wow.

Deathbed clarity is a clarity that is is unique and.

Powerful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You and I talked about keeping work in check, being ambitious, being driven, but keeping it in check and putting First things first.

But if every single one of them said that, I, I thought, man, I'm, I'm not going to wait till I get on my deathbed to, to look back.

I'm going to keep looking back and I'm going to keep looking forward with that kind of perspective.

And I love my work.

I never plan on retiring because I'm going to keep doing the work I love.

But just philosophically, something, something for all of us to chew on is making sure that that's in the right proportion and the right balance in life.

And, and we're leaning in just like you said, so well and the things you're doing so well already.

It's like really addressing ourselves, mind, body and spirit every morning and putting our families right first, right where they belong.

Yeah, something that's this is kind of along your lines, this interesting the last like, I don't know, 3-4 weeks, months and a half maybe.

I've been thinking about that goes along with the idea of the guys dying and having like wanting to work less.

I thought really hard about a couple things.

I really want to have independence, like financial freedom, like really bad.

And I think a lot of people do and I'm not that higher achiever guy that's like striving for that.

And I thought, you know what, If God really wanted me to have that, he could have told me to buy $1000 worth of Bitcoin. 20 years.

Ago $50 hundred bucks would have, yeah. $100.00 of Bitcoin 20 years ago and I could be financially free right in a second.

And I bought a lot of stock and I, and I, I have, you know, stock in one company in particular at the time four years ago, it was worth like 8 times what it is right now.

And I thought if God really wanted me to like pay off my house, I, he could have told me to sell that stock when it was at its peak and I could have paid off my house, right.

So I thought I, those two things in particular have been because the stock got so crazy high.

Maybe it's not 5 or 10/8 times, it's like 20 times more.

It was, it was amazing for a while, man, it was like so great.

And now it's like whatever.

But I thought if God really wanted that, then those are options that could have legit happened.

And then I've also thought if I die tomorrow and I'm not planning on dying tomorrow and but if I die tomorrow and I and I still have debts and I still owe, owe money on my house and I still owe these things.

Like life would be OK, My wife, it would be really hard.

My wife would figure it out.

My kids would be able to be difficult and not having their dad and all those things.

But like we get so worked up about all these things and at the end of the day, like most of it doesn't really matter, you know, like I consider my dad the wealthiest person that I know and it's not in money, but my dad is loved by everyone.

I don't know a soul that doesn't love my dad.

And when you meet him, it's like instantly that's a cool guy.

I want to be like him someday.

Like he is so wealthy and has nothing to do with money.

So like, why are we chasing this money so hard if that's actually not what matters and as as not what the fulfillments about.

And that's not what all those things are about.

It's because it's part of our society and, and maybe it's more of an American thing.

When I, I lived in New Zealand for a couple years on my mission, they didn't care as much, right?

They walk around barefoot, who cares?

They'll wear the same outfit 3 or 4 days in a row, doesn't matter.

No one judges them.

They don't judge it.

They like whatever you know, And, and I don't know if it's different parts of the world is more of that right?

Definitely seen that on all of our travels.

Definitely seen a totally different culture around money.

Yeah, yeah.

So.

I love that man and I love what you said about your dad and, and what a blessing to have that man as your mentor and, and leader and father to set that example.

And you're right, wealth, wealth is measured in, in so many other ways.

It is powerful.

And, and I look, I hope, I hope everybody listening here does become rich and wealthy.

But I think in in this conversation and as I think about it and you think about it, let's, let's keep money in its place.

Go get it, man, Go get it.

Be an investor, be a businessman, just crush it.

Be the best in your industry.

But let's keep that sucker right where it belongs, which is below our family.

All the other things the.

Wellness right I love it OK any any last thoughts that you want to share for for family men who are listening any last.

Piece of it, man, we've gone through so much, dude.

I, I have been grateful for our conversation and I, I love that you're, they were so In Sync on so many on so many different ways.

I guess the only last thing that I would say to anybody that's, that's listening around these things is to keep going.

There are people that stop when they're 35 years old and then they're like, I've thrown in the towel on my health because it doesn't really matter.

I'm going to get a I'm going to get a belly.

And that's actually not true.

You don't have, you don't have to stop exercising, stop eating healthy.

And there are, there are times I I've seen and you know, I've got friends that are, are getting divorces and friends that are, are losing their faith in God and friends that are having different challenges.

And I, and I feel like the reason that those challenges has have happened is because they stopped, they stopped remembering the love that they had for their wife when they first got married.

And they kind of became a little more selfish of like, well, I've been putting up with this for 20 years.

I want to do it my way now.

And instead of being like, Hey, let's continue to work on this together.

Don't stop.

Don't stop with your relationships.

Don't stop with your health.

Don't stop with your work.

You're not also set.

The people get ultra wealthy at after 60 years old because they wrote a book or they found out some invention or they did whatever.

Like you don't have to just feel like, OK, well, I'm, I'm this person right now and it's not exactly what I wanted to be, but I'm kind of too late to learn something new.

No, you're not.

You could totally go learn whatever you want.

So whatever it is that you really want.

And in these of those areas that we've kind of focused on, don't stop, keep going.

And and if you keep moving, the only time you lose, I think in sales and life, in relationships is when you stop.

You're you're winning or you're learning and you lose if you stop.

So just don't stop.

That'd be my last little bit of a curd.

Amen.

Well, Amen.

Yeah.

Thanks for having me on, man.

Really loved it.