Episodes

Today, we look back on Willow. It’s pretty much Lord of the Rings, except there’s a baby instead of a ring, Aragorn is an asshole, Gollum is Kevin Pollack, and women actually get something to do.   Thank you to our Patrons for living life a...

Gone in 60 Seconds, but with uglier cars.   Thank you to our Patrons for living life a quarter-mile at a time with their support, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghosts in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson, Kristin Carter,...

A movie about Nicolas Cage stealing a car he’s dubbed, Eleanor, presumably after first lady and diplomat Eleanor Roosevelt.   Thank you to our stunt-driving Patrons for boosting us with their support, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa...

Classic tale: boy meets girl, boy follows girl to interdimensional fight tournament, boy meets some other girl, boy fights ice-shooting... ...Jesus Christ.   Thank you to our flawlessly victorious Patrons for GETTING OVER HERE with their...

Very little fighting. None of it on the streets.    Thank you to our tough-as-nails Patrons for hadouken-ing support our way, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson, Kristin Carter,...

God? If there is a God... Can you stop controlling the weather and tracking our every minor transgression to help an American League team win, not even the World Series, but the Pennant?   Thank you to our heavenly Patrons for teaching us how to...

This week we look at the rags-to-riches story of the grandson of a millionaire inheriting an MLB club, then using his clout to force himself in as their coach. In short: relatable.   Thank you to our Patrons for reminding us how to have fun while...

Ghost, Passenger 57, and Luigi team up to teach a small town the power of the color red.   Thank you to our Patrons for teaching us the power of being ourselves, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua...

This week we look back on the movie that sounds like a kids’ show and gives Damon an excuse to break out his flawless Australian accent.   Sorry... Hees flewlees Esstreeleen eccent.   Thank you to our Patrons for being our flock wearing...

You ever wondered what it’s like to be a bug? ... What’s that? .... Oh, you already saw Antz? ... Well, this one has Phyllis Diller in it.   Thank you to our Patrons for thinking of the colony above themselves, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa...

Real ants are ugly. With their multiple sets of eyes, alien-like mandibles, and a segmented body perched on spindly legs, they’re the stuff of nightmares. And yet, somehow, they have nothing on the ants of Antz.   Thank you to our Patrons for...

Phenomenon is a classic Flowers for Algernon story: except the mouse is Kyra Sedgwick and the flowers are a brain tumor.   Thank you to our telekinetic Patrons, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua...

Voldemort vs. Vedder: whoever wins, we lose. In this episode we ponder the philosophical depths of Powder (1995).    Thank you to our telekinetic Patrons, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua...

This week, we look back on a movie that has the bravery to say, "F*ck it, let's blow up the Mir Space Station."   Thank you to our meteoric Patrons, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson,...

Remember that meteor movie?!   No. The other one.   Thank you to our meteoric Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson, Kristin Carter, Jonathon Day, Karen Curd, Jeremy Powlen and Kathleen...

Finally a movie that does what we all wish we could: push the most hated actor in a generation into a fiery cauldron of magma. SEE YOU IN HELL, TOM HANKS.   Thank you to our self-sacrificing Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost...

Volcano (1997) features rough-hewn, weathered, craggy, stone-faced, stoic, hardened... ....siiiiigh...   You already got the joke, right? We're talking about Tommy Lee Jones.   Thank you to our magmatic Patrons, including Larissa Maestro,...

Have you ever watched a disaster movie and wished YOU were the intransigent grandmother in the boiling lake of acid? This week, Dante’s Peak!   Thank you to our magmatic Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs,...

"IT'S A STIMPEED!"   Thank you to our feral Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson, Kristin Carter, Jonathon Day and Karen Curd. If you'd like to get trapped inside a magical jungle board game for a...

What if Hot Topic was a movie? This week, The Nightmare Before Christmas!    Thank you to our ghoulish Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson, Kristin Carter, Jonathon Day and Karen Curd. If...

This holiday season, it’s important to remember the true meaning of Christmas: letting a man die of a spinal injury in the snow after you steal his clothes and transportation.   Thank you to our rosy-cheeked Patrons, including Larissa Maestro,...

The closest thing to a Thanksgiving movie we could find was Addams Family Values, a movie about a Halloween-y family going to summer camp.   Thank you to our ghoulish Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua...

In 1988, Nintendo released a game that finally let you play as Mario, Luigi, Toa...   Look, let’s not play around here. You played as the Princess from 1-1 to 7-2. You can’t lie to us.   Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa...

Two servants stop a rapist cult leader scientist who is holding two innocent people hostage in a dank castle AND THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BAD GUYS. This week: The Rocky Horror Picture Show.   Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro,...