Episodes

Ask Rachel anything How can building our own community of people we admire dramatically change our future and help us break from a difficult past? What does it actually mean to be a good dad? Is it providing for your family? Protecting them? Being successful at work? Or could one of the most important things a father gives his children be something much simpler: his presence? Mitchell Osmond thought he was doing reasonably well. Then his wife told him their marriage was broken and she was co...

Ask Rachel anything The anxiety epidemic: In 2020 the UK charity Mental Health Foundation surveyed more than 2,000 children and found 50 per cent of teenagers aged 13-19 were experiencing anxiety they found hard to control. Substack notes and PDF to go with this episode: https://substack.com/@teenagersuntangled/note/c-193100671?r=2u24i0&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/p/the-rise-in-teen-anxiety Suggested books: ·&nbsp...

Ask Rachel anything None of us likes blowing a fuse when our teen does something that triggers us, but we all do it at some point. Nicky asked us to discuss this topic after she felt she'd overreacted to bad feedback from her son's teachers. We know it fixes nothing and leaves us feeling worse than before, but can we keep smoothing it over with an apology? Click the link at the bottom to access all the tips from the episode and also a parent’s worksheet to help you unpack your fe...

Ask Rachel anything How much do fathers really matter to their children? We talk endlessly about mothers and the enormous influence they have on their children. But have we inadvertently started treating fathers as the optional parent — the assistant rather than an equally capable caregiver? Michael Ray thinks we have. Michael became a father at 50 and, just 18 months later, became the sole parent to his daughter. Suddenly he began noticing the subtle — and sometimes not-so-subtle — ways soci...

Ask Rachel anything What do you do when your teenager has no friends — or tells you they feel lonely, left out or as if they just don't fit in? Watching your child struggle with friendships can be incredibly painful. Our instinct as parents is often to jump in with advice, suggest what they should do, or panic that something has gone terribly wrong. But is that actually what teenagers need from us? In this episode, Rachel sits down with her daughters, Phoebe and Amelia, for a candid conversat...

Ask Rachel anything We all have traditional times when our extended families come together to celebrate, give thanks, and share the warmth of mutual love. In the UK, December is a non-stop reel of songs about 'Simply having a wonderful Christmas time', and Instagram is awash with pictures of happy celebrations. Being with our family can give us a welcome chance to relax and be accepted for who we are but - let's be honest - it can also bring out the worst in us. The break in rout...

Ask Rachel anything The happiess hack article by Dana Millbank: https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2025/10/24/happiness-purpose-community-contribution/ Checkout my Substack: teenagersuntangled.substack.com Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message....

Ask Rachel anything Your teenager knows they have homework. They know the assignment is overdue. They know they need to start. So why can't they just do it? If you have a teenager with ADHD or executive-function difficulties, evenings can easily become a cycle of procrastination, missing assignments, nagging, arguments and frustration — with parents wondering how much they should step in and teenagers feeling constantly criticised for things they genuinely find difficult. In this episode, Rac...

Ask Rachel anything Is your teenager afraid of saying the wrong thing? For many young people, navigating conversations about politics, identity, relationships and social issues can feel like walking through a minefield. Say the wrong thing, ask the wrong question or admit you don't know enough — and they fear being judged, rejected or even losing friends. But what happens when that fear follows them home? And what should we do when our teenager expresses an opinion that we strongly disagree w...

Ask Rachel anything How do you get a teenage boy to actually talk to you — particularly about the things that really matter? Boys have just as rich an emotional life as girls, but many learn surprisingly young to hide vulnerability, suppress difficult feelings and rely on anger as one of the few emotions they feel comfortable showing. So how can we make sure our sons know they can talk to us — about friendships, relationships, sex, pornography, drugs, screens, masculinity and the mistakes the...

Ask Rachel anything "Learning is struggle, and kids need to get comfortable struggling with learning." That's according to Jenny Anderson, who spends much of her time writing about what is happening at the frontline of parenting, education and AI. She explains that the big problem for educators and parents who want the best for their kids is that Silicon Valley is trying to take away as much of the struggle as possible. "The F word in Silicon Valley is friction. They want to get rid of ...

Ask Rachel anything Why is it that so many teenagers today seem to be struggling with mental health? In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Matt Richtel reveals the surprising science behind adolescent development, explaining why teens aren't 'difficult' they're doing an important job and how there's a fundamental mismatch between biological adolescent development and the world in which we now life. One of the key problems nowadays is that kids are going into puberty ea...

Ask Rachel anything To lose a child is one of the worst things any of us an imagine. To lose him at 16 to a recreational drug is an unbearable pain. That's what happened to Fiona Spargo-Mabbs OBE, but she has turned her pain into an incredible quest to turn her 'I wish I'd known', suffering into a book, a drugs education foundation, and support for all of us parents so we never have to go through the pain she has suffered. In this incredible conversation, Fiona discusses the importance ...

Ask Rachel anything For this Sunday catch up I was joined by Susie Asli to discuss the challenges of parenting during times of personal loss, such as the death of a pet or a parent. We share our experiences of our children’s different reactions to grief and the importance of allowing them to grieve in their own ways. We also talk about the transition to university, the generational differences in parenting, and the importance of respecting teenagers’ independence. I introduced a n...

Ask Rachel anything Sleep's a FREE performance-enhancer, so why are so many teens not getting enough? For us parents, sleep is the thing we all obsess about when we first bring our babies home, but if you're anything like me by the time they hit teens we've become pretty lax around that solid bedtime routine. In fact, research shows that around 2/3rds of teenagers aren't getting adequate sleep. Why does this happen? In my case, I was exhausted from years of implementing a solid routine and ...

Ask Rachel anything Whatever food fears we've inherited, or learned, will be passed on to our kids unless we understand and challenge our beliefs, according to food psychologist, Dr Anna Colton. As she rightly points out, fear-mongering about killer bars or toxic foods is way more dangerous, long-term, than the food itself. In this episode we talk openly about my own struggles with my family's attitude to food, and Dr Colton explains in detail why it's way better to prevent our kids de...

Ask Rachel anything Is your kid stressed or lacking motivation? What if the antidote was pushing them less and giving them more of a sense of control over their lives? It doesn't mean giving up your authority as a parent. As elite teen coach, Ned Johnson, explains the science tells us we can help our child sculpt a brain that is resilient, and ready to take on new challenges if we stop taking over. In his practice he uses science, behavioural therapy and extensive case studies to offer ...

Ask Rachel anything We all want our kids to feel they belong and have purpose, but what simple things can we do at home and in schools that will help them develop what they need? In this interview you'll hear so many great tips we can put in place at home that will help our kids thrive. In 2007, Tish co-founded Jamie’s Farm with her son Jamie, a teacher and farmer. LINK: https://jamiesfarm.org.uk/people/tish-feilden/ The residential visits for disadvanteged kids, who are disengaged or d...

Ask Rachel anything Conflict is normal - but it often escalates during teenage years because our kids are trying to assert their own wishes, and probably aren't very skilled at it. As parents, it's easy to fall into classic conflict traps if we don't have the skills for resolving disagreements. In this episode we talk about the key techniques we can use - and teach - to ease tension and bust-ups at home and elsewhere. What's even better is that by learning techniques for being assertive - a...

Ask Rachel anything FREE GUIDE: HOW TO THINK THROUGH DEVICE USE FOR YOUR TEENS https://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/teens-and-screens-the-big-hug-teenagers Smartphones can be massively problematic in the hands of the young, mainly because of what kids can access through them. Social media can have a magnetic pull for adolescents who're trying to figure out their identity and fit in, meanwhile predators are well aware of the various access points provided. So are there any positi...

Ask Rachel anything When things go wrong at school parents are bound to feel stressed, wanting the problem to be resolved as soon as possible. But - in the UK at least - the current complaints system is "working for no one", according to the Government's Education Secretary. Jason Elsom, CEO of charity Parentkind, says there's been a surge in parental complaints, that are being amplified via WhatsApp: Quoted in The Times “We are seeing a tsunami of parental complaints. It is never right to na...

Ask Rachel anything How we parents manage technology in our homes, and what we put in the hands of our kids, has turned into one of the most hotly debated topics amongst parents and experts. In this episode, I talk to Dr. Lucy Foulkes, Oxford academic psychologist and author, about social media’s role in adolescent mental health, challenging the narrative popularized by Jonathan Haidt and exploring why phones and social platforms aren’t the universal villains they’re often made out to b...

Ask Rachel anything Do you ever worry about losing touch with your kids as they grow up? In this episode of Teenagers Untangled I'm joined by Catherine Hickem, a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and founder of Parenting Adult Children Today to explore the growing issue of family estrangement. Catherine is leading a conversation around one of the most overlooked family dynamics: the relationship between parents and their adult children. Despite how common this phase of l...

Ask Rachel anything The latest narrative around online safety, phones and devices, is pushing for bans to keep our kids safer and happier. The idea is to give them back their childhood and prevent them from accessing harmful content. Catherine Knibbs, a child psychotherapist and cyber trauma expert argues in her latest book that social media bans won't work because we can't even properly define what it is we want to ban, and when we do ban devices we actually leave our kids vulnerable....