March 22, 2023

The Emotional Game of Playing the Victim (Bonus Episode)

The Emotional Game of Playing the Victim (Bonus Episode)

Our family members are famous for their pristine ability to play the victim. 

Playing the victim can manifest in a variety of contexts.

In this episode, we are going to unpack:

✅ Our psychologically abusive family members get thrills off any opportunity they can create that affords them the opportunity to take the stage to put on their Oscar-worthy winning performance of the victim.

✅ They use this victim role to gain pity or sympathy, and to evoke compassion as a path to getting their way.  

✅ They play this role publicly and privately to evade accountability by smoke-screening their abuse of you. 

✅ The basic story your toxic family members tell of themselves is that they are the“good,” “caring,” “moral, “selfless,” person in the relationship, and you are the “bad,” “abusive,” “cruel,” “immoral,” “selfish,” “toxic,” one.

✅ Conversations with your family members that play the victim can never be about your feelings. It must be all about them.

✅ Family members who play the victim grossly embellish the untruths they tell about your “monstrous” behavior to create a more powerful narrative about how profoundly you have victimized them. 

✅ Goals and payoffs of playing the victim

✅ Impacts of this emotional game on the targets

✅ How to’s and boundaries to set

Get my newly released book!  — Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members: Tools to Maintain Boundaries, Deal with Criticism, and Heal from Shame After Ties Have Been Cut. Get it here: 

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