Episodes

He needs space to feel safe. She needs connection to feel safe. No wonder you keep missing each other. In this episode, Michelle Hays explores the nervous system wiring that fuels the chase-and-withdraw dance so many couples know too well. With real-life insight and practical tools, you’ll learn how to stop making each other the enemy and start finding connection even when your bodies speak different languages. 🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Mona...

Love without safety is love you have to perform for—and it will leave you lonely, even in the same room with your partner. In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hayes unpacks why emotional safety has become the modern must-have in marriage, what it really looks like, and three simple ways to start building it today.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove

What happens when you love your partner but don’t feel attracted to them anymore? In this episode of Monarch for Love, we peel back the shame and silence around fading desire. You’ll discover why loss of attraction is often about disconnection, not looks, and how rebuilding emotional safety, honesty, and curiosity can reignite intimacy. 🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com 📸 Instagram: @monarchforlove

In this week's episode, we are unpacking one of the most common myths I hear from couples: “We just fell out of love.” The truth? Love doesn’t vanish—it fades when we stop choosing it. I’ll share how unmet needs, unspoken resentments, and quiet disconnection slowly erode intimacy, and how the belief that love should always “feel” magical keeps us stuck. You’ll hear parts of my own journey, the mistakes I made, and the shift that changed everything: realizing love isn’t about performance—it’s abo...

In this week's episode, I speak to the woman standing at the edge—the one who wonders if walking away is the only way forward. Before you make that decision, I invite you to pause and ask yourself four life-altering questions. I’ll share pieces of my own story—multiple marriages, mistakes, and hard-won lessons—so you can see that leaving isn’t always the freedom it promises.If your heart is aching and you’re tempted to give up, let this episode remind you: sometimes the bravest thing you can do ...

In this heartfelt episode of Monarch for Love, I sit down with Psychiatrist, Dr. Mariana Martinasevic, to explore how alcohol and other substances can quietly reshape the fabric of a marriage. From social drinking to dependence, substance use often creates emotional distance, hidden stress, and unspoken blame between partners. Together, we unpack when “use” becomes “abuse,” the toll it takes on intimacy, and why blame rarely leads to change. If you or someone you love is facing this challenge, y...

In this week’s episode, we’re naming something couples rarely admit out loud—feeling lonely in marriage. You said “I do,” you built a life together, and yet sometimes it feels like you’re miles apart under the same roof. Loneliness doesn’t mean your marriage is broken; it’s a signal that something needs attention.We unpack why loneliness sneaks into relationships—unspoken needs, distractions, fear of vulnerability, and misaligned expectations—and I share practical, heart-centered steps to bridge...

In this week’s episode, I’m stepping into a season many couples both dread and quietly anticipate—the empty nest. After decades of parenting, the kids are gone, the routines vanish, and the house suddenly feels too quiet. It’s a season that can stir grief, relief, confusion, and the unsettling question: What’s next for us? I will be sharing personal stories, practical steps, and simple rituals to help you and your spouse move from loneliness to renewal. Becoming empty nesters isn’t the end of y...

Think sexy means lingerie and candlelight? Think again. In this feel-good episode, Michelle Hays and positivity powerhouse Instagram sensation Kelli Butterfly spill the tea on how playfulness, laughter, and choosing joy can supercharge your relationship. From cranky funks to contagious fun, we’re diving into why your energy matters more than your outfit—and how a little optimism can heat things up in and out of the bedroom. This episode is your invitation to flirt with life again. Because love i...

In this heartfelt episode of Monarch for Love, host Michelle Hays gets personal and real about a common but often unnoticed relationship trap—the stories we tell ourselves. Whether it’s “He doesn’t care,” or “She never listens,” these inner narratives shape how we feel and respond in our marriage—but they’re not always true. Michelle shares candid examples from her own marriage, walks you through how to pause, reflect, and reframe those stories with love, and gives you practical tools to communi...

In this empowering episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle sits down with Bradley Rausch, host of the Redefining Growth podcast, to explore what it really takes to move from emotional overwhelm to intentional change—especially in relationships. Bradley shares his signature frameworks for navigating life’s hardest moments, including the 3A’s of growth: Awareness, Acceptance, and Adaptability, and his CRAFT method for building emotional resilience. Together, they dive deep into radical responsibilit...

Let’s face it—talking about sex in marriage can feel awkward, vulnerable, and even risky. But avoiding the topic only creates distance. In this heartfelt episode, Michelle Hays gets real about the fears, miscommunications, and silent stories we often carry around intimacy. She shares her own personal journey with initiating these conversations, and offers practical, compassionate ways to start safe, honest, and connecting dialogue with your spouse. Whether you've felt rejected, unsure how to b...

In this lighthearted yet deeply insightful episode, Michelle Hays shares a personal story that every couple can relate to—when one partner needs to process out loud and the other retreats into silence. Through her real-life example with her husband Brian, Michelle unpacks the differences between internal and external processors, and how those differences can either create emotional distance or deeper connection. You’ll walk away with a new understanding of how to honor your partner’s style wit...

Are your thoughts heavy with resentment? Are you withholding forgiveness? In this week's episode, Michelle Hays talks about how forgiveness lifts the weight and brings hearts back together. Hurting each other is inevitable—but forgiveness is the bridge that reconnects our hearts and releases the heavy burden of resentment. Michelle explores how true forgiveness creates space for healing, growth, and deeper connection. She also shares the hidden dangers of holding on to unforgiveness, the myth ...

This Week on Monarch for Love Michelle Hays dives into one of the most misunderstood (and underused) relationship skills: validation. You'll learn what it really means to validate your partner—without surrendering your own perspective. Michelle explores why so many people avoid validating their spouse, how validation differs from agreement, and why creating emotional space is essential for healthy communication. If you want to feel more heard and more connected in your relationship, this episo...

This Week on Monarch for Love We’re packing our bags—and maybe a little patience—as we dive into the world of travel and relationships. I’m honored to be joined by luxury travel planner Shari Kavalin, founder of Elegant Escapes Travel. Whether you’re a spontaneous adventurer or a meticulous planner, Shari shares how couples can navigate different travel styles, build stronger connections, and turn every getaway into a chance to grow together. She brings fun stories, helpful tips, and insight in...

In this week's episode, Michelle Hays explores the six pillars of intimacy that keep love strong, connected, and enduring. From emotional safety to shared vulnerability, you'll discover how to nurture the kind of intimacy that deepens your bond and enriches your relationship. Love is a journey—and these timeless truths will help you invest in it daily, with intention and heart. Stay connected with Michelle: 🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com 📸 Instagram: @monar...

🦋 In this special episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays welcomes her beloved Aunt Fran Robinson—91 years young and full of timeless wisdom. As a widow who spent decades in a devoted marriage, Aunt Fran opens up about love, loss, and what truly matters in a relationship. Her simple truths and heartfelt stories remind us that love is a decision we make every day—and that it’s never too late to learn how to love well. Whether you’re newly married, in a long-term relationship, or navigating th...

Do you ever feel like you're doing everything for everyone—hoping for love, recognition, or simply to belong? In this heartfelt episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays is joined by special guest Sanaiyah Gurnamal, a Relationship Reinvention Coach, to explore the deep emotional patterns behind people pleasing and the transformative power of self-love.Together, they unpack why so many of us seek validation outside ourselves and how that impacts not just our marriages, but our sense of identity....

In today’s hyper-connected world, emotional boundaries can blur fast—especially online. In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays dives into the subtle yet damaging world of micro-cheating, social media habits, and how small digital missteps can slowly erode trust and intimacy in your marriage. Learn how to spot the warning signs of “digital drift,” set healthy boundaries, and create a relationship culture rooted in transparency, connection, and mutual respect. Because every message, li...

Trust is the foundation of every thriving relationship—but what does it really look like in day-to-day married life? In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays explores how trust shapes emotional security, deepens connection, and lays the groundwork for lasting love. Whether you’re rebuilding trust after hurt or simply want to strengthen your bond, you’ll walk away with fresh insight and practical inspiration. Because while love brings passion, trust brings peace—and your marriage deserv...

In this deeply compassionate episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays is joined by Dr. Mariana Martinasevic, a physiatrist with over 25 years of experience, to explore how anxiety, depression, and mental health challenges impact our relationships—and what we can do about it.Together, they unpack how emotional struggles, the signs of anxiety and or depression and when you may consider medication. Whether you or your partner are struggling silently or openly, this conversation reminds you: you’r...

In this inspiring episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays reminds us that great marriages don’t just happen—they’re built with intention, one choice at a time. From cultivating gratitude to practicing healthy communication and committing to personal growth, Michelle shares how to create a mindset that nurtures lasting love.If you’ve been craving a deeper, more supportive bond with your spouse, this episode will help you get back to the basics—and fall in love with the process of becoming bett...

Do you find yourself pulling away or clinging tightly in relationships? In this eye-opening episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays explores how your attachment style might be shaping your connection with your spouse—and what you can do about it. The good news? You can move from insecure to secure, and the transformation ripples through your marriage, family, and friendships.If you've ever felt stuck in patterns of fear, anxiety, or avoidance in love, this episode offers hope, clarity, and th...