Mastering Real Estate Success: Discover the Power of Coaching with Missy Shropshire

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Have you ever considered hiring a coach? Well today you can find out why you should with Missy Shropshire.

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Missy is a coach. She's a best selling author of the book forces at work. It helps you find your passion. She's a phenomenal person. I've known her for quite some time and I think you'll really enjoy the show. So privileged, please listen. And please buy our book forces at work. Thanks so much.

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Enjoy the show. Welcome to India's real estate gurus your ultimate guide to the dynamic world of real estate in Indiana and I'm recruitment your hard working mortgage guy and I've been in real estate and mortgages for over 24 years.

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And I'm Ian Arnold, a loan officer on Rick's hard working mortgage team and we are both with advisors Mortgage Group together will empower you with expert advice market trends is successful stories from Guru realtors and local experts.

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Whether you're a homeowner, investor or pro, join us as we navigate the thriving indie real estate market. Now get ready to unlock the doors of success. One episode at a time. Well, welcome everybody. We really appreciate you all being here today. We have Mrs. Shop Shire. Missy, welcome. Thanks so much for joining me today.

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Thank you for having me.

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You're You're welcome. And you're not a real estate agent. You're actually you do a lot of things other than being a best selling author, right? You wrote the book forces at work. What else?

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How else do you spend your time?

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Well, I'm a mom and a wife. I've been married for almost 30 years. So I was 30/30 wedding anniversary in September. And I have three children. My youngest is 18. And as a senior is in high school, so he's graduating in a few weeks. So that's kind of opening up a whole new stage of life.

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And I'm also a grandma, so Wow,

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congratulations.

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Yeah, hi. Bye. It's It's interesting when it when the kids move out, because my my youngest is now 31. And, and so obviously he moved out years ago, but it took a little while for us. Now you'll probably be better prepared for this. But he moves out. And then about six months after he he's in school, I looked at my wife and I said, we got to do something this is boring is boring, yet, because your life was wrapped around all the things, all the activities that they that they did. Yeah,

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it's interesting that I'm approaching this stage of life, because I'm also moving into this stage with my coaching. I've had several people, you know, just like highly ultra successful people who are now wanting to retire.

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And they figured out the financial piece of it, but the emotional and kind of mental piece of it. They're looking for help with that, like how do I move into the next stage of my life with a sense of purpose and fulfillment? When I'm so used to being this or doing this? So it's actually kind of fun that that's opening up in my space right now is to help people with that.

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Yeah, that's why I'm never retiring. Me either.

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I see that all the time. Like, and I think and we might talk about this today to Rick is that, you know, when you are I really like to blur the lines between my personal and professional life. And I think when we're operating from a sense of alignment, and purpose, work doesn't always feel like work, it feels fun, and it feels fulfilling. So you know, and that's really what the book is all about to you know, it's how to be a force at work wherever you are in your personal life and in your professional life.

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Well, I am a huge believer in coaching. And I will tell you, I've had 170 180 Real estate agents on top agents in the city and almost to a person.

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They believe in coaching, they may you they have somebody there, I think it helps to have somebody you're paying to coach you and hold you accountable.

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But I also think there's different stages for coaching. I was thinking about this the other other day, you kind of you just mentioned that it's just kind of funny, because I was thinking about I thought, you know, because I know and you are coming on. So let's take this.

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So what is somebody who's they've got tons of experience in real estate. They they're doing well. Why? Why do they need a coach? How can you help that type of person?

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Yeah, well, I think it's because we're always all growing. And you know, I like to use the the example of Peyton Manning. You know, Peyton Manning never got to the point where he was like, you know, I don't think I need a coach anymore. It's like people who want to be excellent and who really want to reach their full potential. That's who utilizes a coach. And I think people have misconceptions about what coaching is, you it's really not like the sports analogy is not the perfect analogy, because in the sports analogy, a coach is drying up the plays and telling you what to do. And in business coaching or in life coaching, a really good coach is creating space because we have a lot of in eternal wisdom and a lot of ideas and creativity that we don't tap into on a day to day basis. So a good coach is going to create space for people high achievers, to come in and talk through their ideas to sort things out. And also there's that accountability piece. But But I think my role as a coach is to create space, and then also to be the keeper of the story. And to maintain the bigger picture. So I can remind people, hey, this was the vision you shared with me when we first started, is that still what we're working towards? And so I think that's what people find most helpful is just to really have kind of a professional partner, who is not that you're not married to that is objective, and is just holding that space and helping you really reach your potential.

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Yeah, I know, for me with my coach, I know that he'll hold me accountable. Which is, which is, it's not that they actually have to, because knowing you got to, you know, talk to them, you're gonna you kind of do you know, I don't really want to do this, but I'm going to do it because they told me I have to right. And so you do that. But it was not what I thought it took me a long time to do a coach, because I remember Coach, and I'm not I was not really much into sports, but I did play sports in school, but I was never any good. And so, so I remember coaches, that pretty much what they did is they yelled at you. And a and they told you everything you were doing wrong. And what really it is, is you're an uplift, you uplift people. You Yeah. And you help us remember?

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Because even you know, I've done this a long time. I've been in sales my entire life. So if you, right, give me this? Oh, yeah, yeah. And

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I was in real estate for a short time, too. So I understand that kind of the background and the struggle.

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Still. Yeah.

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But we forget, we forget certain things. That's what I find. I've, I, I used to when I sold new homes. I used to tape myself. And when I was in a whether I was doing well or doing poorly, but what I was doing poorly. I could listen to those tapes. And I could go back and listen to the tapes on people that I when I was doing well. And it was amazing. You go. I'm not saying that anymore.

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Ah, yeah. So you

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were gathering your own feedback? Yes. That's another thing that coach does is sometimes when I just repeat back to people what they say to me, it sounds different coming back. And we use this analogy all the time that it's hard to read the label from inside the jar. And so part of what I do is I help people see themselves, how others see them. And what's really interesting, Rick, is that people tend to, we're hard on ourselves. And we tend to focus on where we need to improve and what we need to do better. And as a coach, I can help people kind of shift into utilizing their strengths more in recognizing their strengths more. A lot of times people don't even realize what their true strengths are, until they kind of get into that coaching space. And then life and work just gets a whole lot easier.

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Yeah, it makes a big difference when you get all allied. And that's, that's, I think a big thing of what you do is actually one of my questions.

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So before we get into that one, let's go to we're talking, you know, we talked about the the high achieving very successful people. But what about a new real estate agent? I believe they need coaching, and even the middle the middle ground, you know, there's coaching helps all of that areas. So how does help, as opposed to somebody who's got all the experience? How can you help somebody who's new?

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Yeah, I mean, I think it would be the same advice I would give in almost any industry is that you've got to be educated, you've got to get the skills, you've got to get learn best practices, conventional wisdom, what has worked for others. And I know when I was coming up in my sales career, I had a bench of mentors. And these were mentors that I never even met, because they'd written books. I'd seen them speak. So I think get mentors, but in your search for mentors, make sure that you don't become trying to become someone else. You have to put that through the filter of who you are, and show up authentically. I like to gather all the resources, gather a lot, learn from the best learn from people who are doing great, and then have some time to process and think through how can I emulate that in a way that's authentic and true to who I am?

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Yeah,

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I think, yeah, I hadn't thought of that. But that's really critical because you can you're never going to be what you're capable of being when you're trying to be somebody else. Yeah,

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so true. And you know, I believe this is what drives my business and all of my work is that I believe Each one of us has a unique and important purpose to Find and fulfill. And I love drawing that out in people in whether it's in real estate or in the mortgage business or whatever feel we're we're serving the we have an impact on people, not just in what we do, but in how we do it, and and who we are and how we show up as we do that work. And you Rick, it's funny that I don't stay in touch with all the service providers that I've worked with over the years. But you and I have known each other a long time we have a lot of time, I think that you first you were someone referred you to me.

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And you helped us with a refinance. I mean, me circa 2000 678 way back, then, I remember that.

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I have records of it.

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I remembered you because of you just it was just very clear to me that you were really good at what you did, that you enjoyed helping us through that process. You had systems in place that made it easy. So that's what I'm talking about alignment, you were so well aligned. And it's easy to work with someone like that. And so that's probably one of the reasons that we've seen in touch. Because I always appreciate all about Yeah,

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well, I appreciate that. You know, it's funny, because I, I think that that's always the case, if you if if you process it, you have your process as you work at it, you make it as smooth as possible.

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But I'm still working on purpose. I was. I have a book, I'm in the middle of called purpose purpose.

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You're gonna say it was called forces at work? You

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know, it, I'm going to read it I have, I didn't have a chance I read. I love to read I read a tremendous amount. I get up really early in the morning. Like, today, I got up at 325. A. And and I read write and then I have a whole process of what I do I exercise I do. I do do all that I do a lot trying to, you know, get my get everything straight, because I think that's important. Yeah.

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And but but I hadn't really thought of purpose. Until I started reading this book. And quite honestly, the reason I'm reading the book is they sent it to me off of something I did, and they sent it to me and I just came and I thought, Oh, I'll read it. Right. It was in my stack, I finally got to it.

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So and it's really interesting.

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It takes forever, because probably like your book, you don't find it by just reading a book. Yeah,

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I will say that it is it for like we weren't taught this in school, how to find your purpose, you know, and I would love to get forces that were going to the schools just to start to help people think about this. Because, you know, we're expected to make decisions for our life at a very early age.

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You know, before we're old enough to order a beer, we're supposed to know what we want to do with our lives. So but I think that, you know, now coaching has come so far right?

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That really a good coach can help you get to your purpose in a couple of hours. And it's always evolving, and there's layers, but the essence of who you are and how you want to show up and what you want to contribute to the world. We can get you to that in just a couple hours. And I know you're gonna ask me what my superpower is.

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And that's part of it. That is one component of your purpose is what your superpower is. Yeah,

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it's one of my favorite questions. So let's just, let's just do that. Now.

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What is your superpower? What would you say your superpower superpowers are?

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I would say it's two words, and it's connect and compound. And so the connection is what I value, that's one of my core values is I kind of believe that we could solve all the world's problems if we just connected the right people with each other. And so I've been doing that since I was a little kid, you know, introducing people and connecting people.

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And I would do that all day long for free if I could, and I feel like it makes the world a better place. And then the compel piece of that is, is my greatest gift or my greatest strength is that I'm persuasive. And I always have been, it's a gift that I was given. That's why I was good at sales are good at you know, whatever. And so now, you know, the third part of purpose. So the first part is your greatest strength, your closest held core value. The third part of purpose, a good purpose statement is your mission. And that really is just the application of your greatest strength and your core value towards a specific outcome. So for example, I wrote forces at work forces at work is connect and compile, it's just in book form. And it's written to help you know professionals who are feeling stuck or misaligned in their life or career. And so that's my mission is to help them you know, get unstuck.

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It's really interesting because Connect.

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Again, it's one of the things that many of the top agents tell me is extremely important as a real estate agent is as being that person who can connect. So you teach me People How to connect up. Is there any any little tidbits? Or, you know, I know you can't tell us everything?

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Oh, well, I mean, one basic thing is for anybody who's an entrepreneur, is to be authentic to be yourself. You know, I think there's a lot to be said about conventional wisdom about how to meet people, or how to network and all of that. But if it's not authentic, and it doesn't resonate with you, that's going to come across. So you've got to find ways in there are people who are great at sales, who are not extroverts, you know, sales is about listening, and about being able to position yourself as a guide. And we know that if you want to position yourself as a guide, I always encourage my clients to focus on two things.

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You need empathy and authority, you need to be able to say, Hey, I understand your situation. I know what it feels like to be in your shoes. And I know what to do about it. And so I think in connection, be authentic. But also just keep yourself busy doing things that you love, like you said, you know, I'm a reader, too. I'm at the library all the time. I meet people at the library. I love to exercise, I meet people at the gym, I love to travel, I meet people I travel, every time I go on a trip, I get a new client. So funny, because I'll just be talking with someone on the plane or at the hotel. And that's just that's an enjoyable way of getting out in the world.

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And you'll tend to find people who are who are like you or who understand you, because they're doing those things that they love to be doing to.

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Yep, so if somebody wants to connect with you, what is the best way to get a hold of you? The best way

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it's going to be go to my website. And it's just Missy shropshire.com. You can also Google forces@work.com. And I would encourage, if you want to get connected, just fill out the connect with me form. I don't send out a lot of email. But when I do have an event here in town, or if I'm doing a class or something, that's where I'll announce that. It's

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it's mi SS yshopshire.com. Yeah, just the

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way it sounds. People always try to put a C or extra letters in there, but it's just shot cheer.

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Yeah, well, I can misspell my own name. Okay, I can misspell anything. No. I mean, it's one of my superpowers. Yeah. So. So can you just kind of give us a little more direction on compel?

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What does that mean? How do we go about doing that?

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Yeah, well, compel is that is, to me, it's it wasn't the C word that stood for persuasion. You know, I was like trying to make this catchy little purpose statement. And when I landed on that it really resonated with me is connecting compound. And so I want to be compelling. You know, I want to be compelled by truth and growth and be able to expand my purpose in the world, and I want to be compelling. So I love those two words. But for me, I think early on in my sales career, I thought my job was to persuade people, that they needed something or to buy something. And now, as I've matured, I think my job is to compel people with their own truth. And so when I work with people, I help them kind of root out the inconsistencies in their life that they're really not okay with. And so instead of having them having to do my plan, or come along with what I think is right, I try to help them build their own, you know, sense of integrity of how I want to be and how I want to operate in the world. Yes.

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Maybe you can tell me how mine is. Because maybe I'm not talking about compel, because I've always worked when I work with with somebody. I haven't always but I've learned that. It's not. I don't I don't want to make the decision for him. Yeah, I want to educate them. Yeah, that's what I work out. I work at, you know, like, like, right, let's, let's take a real estate agent. Right. Right.

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Now there's a, there's a big, big deal with the new law coming through, right? Yeah, everybody's a little worried about it. So I'm putting together information so that I can educate on how as a lender, because because this is going to be a big piece of it on how you finance these, this commission, right? And how, yes, so. So I'm almost done. So I could get that out and educate them on exactly what can be done. And I do that with my clients too, because I think, you know, here's your options. Here's, you know, why isn't FHA better than a conventional? Well, it may be for somebody but it may not be for another person, right? So they just have to understand so they can make the right decision for them. Is that is that kind of Compeller Am I missing?

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Well, I think that's how you compel is through education. That might be a word that reflects your purpose is, you know, mine is connecting compel yours might be educating serve, you know. So you, that's how it's a perfect example of how you are going to differentiate yourself, you're going to do all this research, and then kind of be hands off and give people what they need in order to make the decision.

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Okay, so yeah, I just think that is compelling.

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Yeah, I just tried to understand and hopefully other people who are listening will kind of get an idea of, you know, and understand it. Now, you we've talked a little bit about you've been in sales that you were a top salesperson in a multibillion dollar company, you're in the top 2%. Now the Yeah, so So you have the resume in sales, and you understand sales. So you understand. How are you know what we go through?

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Because I think, oh, yeah, it's a tough, it's a tough industry, any sales, but real estate agents have it really tough, I think.

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Yeah. And I think with the new law coming out, it's definitely disconcerting. And it's got to be unsettling for a lot of people. But again, you know, I always go back to Viktor Frankl in situations like this and put it out, you know, probably you read this in high school, I know I did. And it's one of the books that has always stayed with me as me in search for meaning. And it's a story about how he survived in a German concentration camp. And I went back to this again, during COVID, anytime where I'm feeling helpless, or like things are out of my control. You know, Viktor Frankl says that the one freedom that's never taken away from us is our freedom to choose a response. And you saw during COVID, where people freaked out, and they just gave into fear.

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And things just got crazy. In Athens, I did that too.

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Initially, like I was wearing masks, I was sanitizing everything I was seen at night worrying about my family. And then at one point, I realized this is crazy, I needed I had to turn the TV off, and get back to a place of how choosing my response, and choosing to be calm, and measured and careful, but not fearful. And I think the same is true in this circumstance, too, is in every time something like this comes up, there are people that are just going to throw their hands in the air and just get all worried about it. And but there will be people who find the opportunity. And that's what we want to do is we want to stop and pause the power of the pause, choose a response and look for the opportunities that will present themselves in any given situation.

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Yeah, and you know that that pause? Because in really in anything in life, even any reaction that you you, you have, if you will just and I'm not I'm not saying I'm really great at this, I just noticed, it helps. Yeah, because you stop and think about okay, so what response do I want? And if you give us response based based on what you think is the right response, life will go a lot easier and better.

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Yeah, I think I mean, I think we know this, but to actually remember it in the moment. You know, I think that we all make decisions from one of two places, we're going to make decisions from a place of fear and uncertainty, or from a place of love and confidence.

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And I learned this as a parent, I think I'm a worst case scenario, person by nature.

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Like, I always imagine the worst case scenario, what can happen.

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And when I was with my kids, you know, especially raising my daughter when she was, you know, in her early 1920s, and she wanted me out at night, you know, nothing good happens after midnight. And you know, I would just worry about her, there's girls being abducted in Bloomington. And that's where she was going to school. And so I, when I would have conversations with her, what she was sensing was the fear behind it. And they never ended well.

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But when I could take a pause and shift and shift my energy from a place of fear to a place of love and competence, of my belief in her because that's what she was looking for. She would say, Mommy, don't trust me, you don't think I'm smart?

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You don't think I That's how she would interpret that. And when I came from a place of Look, I know you are smart, and that you are careful, and you take care of yourself. And there's crazy people out there. And I want you to continue to be vigilant and be aware of that. Whenever I was able to shift my energy and take responsibility for my own fear, those conversations went better.

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And I think the same thing is going to be true in this situation that your agents are facing. It's we need to be calm, we need to be measured. And we'll find the solutions. This will be figured out. You know everything there is a solution to every problem. Yeah. And it will be figured out and you just want to make sure you're on the cutting edge of the people that are figuring that out. Yeah,

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I heard the number one agent in the country speak on this topic. He was on one of the people I'm a membership of and he basically said, you know, we just we just he said we have to work together with our lenders. And we have to educate ourselves. And we have to have our plan and and a buyer's agent now is going to need to have a presentation to their buyers, just like you have to your sellers. Yeah Have you adjusted?

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So the great news is we already know how to do that. We just need to start implementing that and insert our plan first.

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Yeah, that's right.

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Have the plan, get it out there.

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And I think the other thing is, is how do they get over being afraid of it? Because I think that you don't like, it tend to be one who just does things. If I'm afraid of it, I do it first, right. But a lot of people don't do that.

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Here's the thing is that which we resist persists.

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And I think sometimes the fear is just, it's like the stages of grief, you know, it's like, we want it, we don't want this to be true, we want to still fight it. And we want to still argue with reality, basically, what we're doing is arguing with reality, we're trying to make things go back the way they were, well, that's not happening, you know, you got to stop looking back, because that's not the direction we're going. And it's it's basic change management, it's just accepting the truth and the reality of where things are, and then choosing a belief, so. So I think sometimes fear is a choice. I mean, you can choose to work through your fear and to face it, and choosing to believe that you're at exactly the right place at exactly the right time, and you have everything you need to meet this challenge. So that is what I encourage my clients to do, it's like less not come from a place of deficiency or from being behind. Everybody's in the same boat here. So let's step onto this level playing field and with this attitude that I am enough, I have enough, and I can figure this out.

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Yeah, you gotta believe you can figure it out, or you can't figure it out.

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Yeah, right. Yeah.

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And it's that connection, again, you know, I love this about real estate agents is that there really is a camaraderie and people I know, from when I was in, I think I did 14 transactions, I was in real estate for about a year and a half. And I did really well, you know, I did one summer I did 14 transactions. And for a brand new real estate agent, that's not nothing. That was pretty good. But the camaraderie of people that were willing to help me even people who were on the other side of the deal, you know, we really strove to work together for solutions. And I think that this is a, this is a time where we just really need to lean into that and to be supporting each other. In that, yeah,

00:27:15.750 --> 00:27:42.869
that's what I've noticed, that's what impresses me about one of the things that impresses me about our real estate community is that the vast majority of them will just help out without any thought of anything, just, they just want to be there and help out. And that's, that says a lot about the quality of people that are our real estate agents. And they have a bad name name out there in the end, you know, out there outside of the industry, it's completely unfair. It

00:27:42.869 --> 00:28:18.930
is to you know, like I've seen some of the I'm not well versed in the in the law and all the nuances of what's going on. But I did read something, I think there was a New York Times article where it was like, oh, agents are driving people because of the Commission's, I never once looked at what the commission was going to be on a sale when I was in real estate. And, and I don't think that drove any of my colleagues at all, you know, we showed up to serve and to help and to educate and help people with one of the most important decisions of their life. And I don't know any agents, I think those types of people, if they were doing that, they get eliminated out of the industry.

00:28:15.210 --> 00:28:29.160
You know, just because that's where they are, no one's gonna want to work with someone like that. That would come so I did I disagreed with that article so much, and I did not find that to be true of the industry at all.

00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:35.039
So as that's the dialogue that's being out out there right now,

00:28:35.069 --> 00:28:43.890
yeah. Well, I'm gonna I'm going to kind of switch subjects here and ask the question of the week. You might have heard it if Okay, question of the week. It's always okay.

00:28:43.950 --> 00:28:52.980
All right. Well, it's a it's a it's the hardest question we're gonna ask. So what? What was your first car? Oh,

00:28:53.190 --> 00:28:55.619
1977 Plymouth, Laurie.

00:28:56.190 --> 00:28:59.400
Okay. Did you love it? Yeah. Well,

00:28:59.579 --> 00:29:02.099
I love that it could get me from point A to point B.

00:29:02.460 --> 00:29:22.440
I could see the road from inside the car. And it smelled like fumes, but it was, like, old you know, 1977 Plymouth Laurie. So and everyone's singing that song in their head. Now that velocity song, but that was a star that was really proud of it. It cost$250 And I was able to buy it by myself. Oh,

00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:27.690
yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, so what's been your favorite car that you've ever owned? Well, it

00:29:27.690 --> 00:29:33.930
would have to be a fully loaded Cadillac SRX that I got as a gift from my previous sales job. Oh,

00:29:33.930 --> 00:29:37.349
really? Awesome.

00:29:33.930 --> 00:29:37.349
Yeah, you still have that?

00:29:38.789 --> 00:30:17.039
My what's what's funny story. You know, I was a sales director with Mary Kay for years. And while I was in Mary Kay building my little empire, my little cosmetic empire. I earned seven pink Cadillacs and Mary Kay. Wow. And I know people are always like, wow, that's really impressive. And then the second question is, what do you do with seven pink cars? And my teenage boys drove them to high school and my A 18 year old is driving one right now if you go to the Carmel High school parking lot, you'll see a pink Cadillac in the driveway and he drives it. So, hey, ironically, I don't drive a pink car anymore. But my, my husband drove one to work for years and my kids are going to school.

00:30:14.609 --> 00:30:17.039
Yeah, well,

00:30:18.630 --> 00:30:26.369
Cadillacs a Cadillac, right? Yeah. Who's gonna complain? So how can I?

00:30:22.019 --> 00:30:32.970
How can a real estate a realtor align their life in their work purpose? How do they how can they align that? Because they have a lot of trouble with that?

00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:40.230
Oh, yeah. I mean, like work life balance, yes. Work like life, line and everything. Yeah, it's

00:30:40.230 --> 00:31:19.890
just an ongoing because things change all the time, seasons change. I know, when I was in real estate, I had kids in high school, middle school and grade school. And so this is where a coach can really help you. And I had a coach who was constantly helping me, because once you get it all lined up, then it shifts again, and you got to do it again. So I think that's one thing is maintaining an air of flexibility, always knowing your values and your priorities. You know, so, you know, when I was in Mary Kay, there, this is one of the things they do so well, is they teach us to honor our priorities, you know, your family's more important in your business, every time every single time.

00:31:16.349 --> 00:31:36.690
And I think it's just what in whatever season, you're having a schedule, having a routine that works for you that serves your family. I think as a any entrepreneur, taking ridiculously good care of yourself, you've got to stay healthy. And if you're doing that, a lot of the other things will fall into place.

00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:52.019
Yeah, I've had some of them tell me that. Okay, so they're, they've had a dinner with friends plan for three weeks. They're with their spouse, they're leaving the house, a phone call comes in.

00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:57.119
And it's somebody who wants to see a million dollar house. And they want to see it right now.

00:31:58.019 --> 00:31:59.880
They're like, yeah, how do I not do that?

00:32:01.140 --> 00:32:17.250
Well, I would first examine how often does that really happen? So get the facts, you know, not the feeling but get the best? How often is that happening? And if it really is a pump, because we don't need to borrow tomorrow's problems, you know, we can only solve today's problems with today's resources.

00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:44.700
So if we have that problem today, we've got to figure out how to handle that. And that's a conversation with the family isn't in alignment with our priorities for me to excuse myself and go do that for this season of my life? Not forever, because but just for this season, is that going to be okay? And I think that makes it a lot easier, Rick, is to say, you know, for the next three months, I'm going to hit this big goal. And I'm going to say yes and go whenever and if the family is okay with that, do it.

00:32:40.859 --> 00:32:50.039
But if it becomes I do that always, that begins to devalue your family and erodes trust and relationships.

00:32:50.789 --> 00:33:52.680
Okay, so that makes complete sense. It's kind of what I've been told by one agent who's actually kind of figured it out. He just He said, I have a plan. And I, and he said, I set it up up front, the customer knows. And he said, If I have to, I have teammates, who can who will do it, and they'll go take it. But he but he's been able to do that. And it's it's like he said, You got to have a plan. And if you work it out, because I would be what you said, I work it out with my family first. So they understand by now it's just my wife and I so it's really easy. And you know, so it just makes it easier. I just think that's a that's a big deal for real estate agent. The next question I have is, I have these written down. So I'm looking off to make sure I asked me correctly. So we all have limiting beliefs. Yeah, right. So how do we overcome them? How do we get past our limiting beliefs? Really, first, we have to understand them, right? We have to know they're there. And then how do we overcome them?

00:33:53.400 --> 00:34:26.369
Yeah, we really have to recognize what they are. And this is almost impossible to do by yourself. And it's one of the things that a coach can help you with. And that's why coaching is so effective. And people get results so quickly. Because you have someone who cares about you who's objective, who says, is that true? You know, and challenges your limiting beliefs. And I do this all the time. And so there's two things that are true about belief. The first thing is that behavior always follows belief. So whatever it is, you're believing, if you believe I'm too old, I'm too young, I don't know, whatever your behavior will, will, will play that out.

00:34:27.059 --> 00:35:06.329
The second thing that's true about beliefs is that we choose them. So we do have the power because the brain is the tool of the mind, we can stop and challenge a belief. And I actually have a five step process, that that helps people actually walk through a belief I identify it for them. And then we asked I asked them these five questions, and by the end of the five questions there ready to let that believe go and choose another one. And the results are always dramatic and just amazing. So I think it's recognizing that we all have limiting beliefs and that and that they feel true So that's the thing is you have to know that your limiting beliefs feel true to you, because you've been thinking them for a long time.

00:35:06.510 --> 00:35:08.670
And that's how our brain works.

00:35:06.510 --> 00:35:14.519
It developed to ruts and patterns. So you have to have someone who's going to help you disrupt that belief, and help you choose a new one.

00:35:16.619 --> 00:35:29.699
And you actually have a process. It's interesting that you have a process and it works so quickly, because most people really, this is one that you suffer with for years. Yeah, it

00:35:29.699 --> 00:35:47.789
really is. It's one appointment in my office, because I'm positive psychology and neuroscience has come so far. And so we understand things. There's some there's a great book out called Managing thought by Mary Lorre, she was the first person that that shared that with me, it's like, oh, you can choose your beliefs and get a different result.

00:35:48.329 --> 00:36:11.550
Almost instantly, you can be going this direction and choose a new belief and start going this direction. You know, one example is one time I was working with a woman, and she wanted to hit a goal in her sales career. Excuse me, and, um, tell me more about this. Why is important? And she said, um, she was disgusted with herself.

00:36:09.150 --> 00:36:18.119
She was like, oh, I should have done it by now. And that's an example of a limiting belief is I should have done it by now.

00:36:15.840 --> 00:38:22.619
And it seems innocuous and harmless, but it's not. Because that's was the dialogue in our head is I should have done this by now. And then I'm a failure, I couldn't do it. And it sets her up for failure in the present, because she didn't accomplish it in the past. And so we did the five step questions, which that very quickly the questions are, is it true? Where they always go? Yes, because it feels true. And the second question, is it absolutely true? Or is it always true? Do you know without a shadow of a doubt that you should have done it by now? And well, maybe it's not always true? Or maybe it's not absolutely true? And then I will ask them? What is the how do you think actor feel when you choose to believe this thought that you should have done it by now. And here it comes, I feel like a failure. I feel like a loser. I feel like I'm behind. I feel like I'm not good enough? Well, that's the fruit of that thought. And we're beginning to see that. Whether it's true or not, it's not helpful. And we start to loosen its grip. And then I'll ask what, how would you feel if you could no longer physically think that thought anymore? If I, if I could pull that thought out of your mind, and you didn't have access to it anymore? How would you feel? And usually, it's like, I'd feel relieved, I would feel hopeful, I would feel like I have a chance that I could do this. And then I'll ask them what's more true than I should have done this by now. And this is, this is based on The Work of Byron Katie, who she wrote a book called, loving what is, and it's just, it really helps you kind of choose new thoughts. And so for in this case, I asked because we have to replace the thought we can't, if we just eliminate a thought, something else will fill that gap in our brain because it's a neural pathway. And literally, as you could take a picture of your boss and see him. And so in this case, she chose a new thought is what's more true than I should have done it by now. And she thought, and then she looked at me and her eyes just lit up. And she said, my time is now. And so she started choosing to repeat that mantra to herself, instead of the limiting belief, or the self defeating and limiting beliefs are usually a way to protect us to protect our ego.

00:38:22.710 --> 00:38:28.170
Because if we keep saying that about ourselves, it just keeps us from trying. And it keeps us from feeling like we're failing.

00:38:29.039 --> 00:38:29.429
Yeah,

00:38:29.969 --> 00:38:53.400
there's a guy I follow a member of his but he says, your thoughts? Thoughts become things. So choose the good ones or something like that, you know, that's absolutely true. That our, our thoughts become really our thoughts, our why, where we are where we are today, right? Yeah.

00:38:53.699 --> 00:38:55.139
Yeah. You know,

00:38:55.170 --> 00:39:32.039
even to get back to your question about real estate agents. So there, there's three levels of motivation that I see in people. And we have the lowest level of motivation is desperation. And that's when we're at a client comes into my office, and I hear them saying things like, I have to, I need to, it's almost like they've got a gun to their head in there. If I don't do this, it's really bad things are gonna happen. And so that's motivation by desperation. And it's actually really effective because it engages our fight or flight response. But we weren't designed to live in flight or fight fight, you know, for the rest of our work consistently.

00:39:32.429 --> 00:39:47.340
And so what happens is we get burnout if we continually use desperation, as our form of motivation. And also it makes the people around us really tired. We were not invited to parties anymore, because that's no fun to be on someone who's that stressed out all the time.

00:39:43.920 --> 00:40:26.280
And then the middle form of motivation that I see is rationalization and that's when I should and that's when we're a little bit too married to conventional wisdom and what other people are doing because when I hear Should well I should work out, I should do this, I should do that. What I hear is someone who's not taking responsibility for themselves and for what they believe in what they think is best for them. They're still relying on other people and best practices and kindness and things like that. So I hear a lot of shoulds. And that's rationalization. And I think we all go through a period where we got to explore that. But the highest form and the best form of motivation is inspiration.

00:40:21.840 --> 00:40:50.130
And that's when we can do what we really want to do. And that's when in your case of the real estate agent who's sitting at dinner, they have a compelling vision for their life, that doesn't just include their sales goal, but includes their relationship with their family, the way they handle themselves in situations like that. And they can do what they want to do in that situation, without fear of loss, or something bad happening. So

00:40:51.809 --> 00:40:54.179
yeah, I think it's, I think it's fascinating.

00:40:54.449 --> 00:41:13.949
Because you, you, you obviously really understand the art, our psychological, how we work. And so that's really helpful for people. So if somebody, what if somebody thought, but I'd really like to work with you, as a coach, what's the best way for them to get a hold of you? Yeah,

00:41:14.489 --> 00:42:40.590
the first thing I would recommend is for them to read the book. It is it's on Audible, it's on Spotify, and you can get a paperback, it's on Amazon, because the book is, so it's 20 years of coaching, summarized, and it's a power packed little book. And most people tell me, they read it in one weekend, because they it really kind of walks you through all these issues. What is my purpose? How can I start to move step fuller into my purpose? How do I create a compelling vision for my life in my business that aligns and feels good to me? How do I increase my agency, which is my sense of really authority, and how I show up and how I make decisions so so all of those, I really have made a concise case for all of those different ideas in the book. So get the book, if you liked the book, you're gonna like working with me, if you don't like the book, you probably want to move on to different clubs. And then I have a great opportunity right now, a group that I call powerful partners. And I wrote about this in the book too, because my core value is connection. And I have been able to connect people together for just amazing purposes, and wonderful things are happening in the world. And so I have a group coaching program right now called powerful partners. It's a one year program, where you get individual one on one coaching sessions with me, you get the benefit of amazing group of people for a monthly accountability call. And then I host a quarterly event here in town called forces at work live.

00:42:40.889 --> 00:42:57.510
And the next one is going to anyone can come to forces at work live, it's a lunch, it's a workshop. And, um, the next one is on July 18, then I already have registration open for that on my website. So okay, great place to network and to expand your personal and professional network. Okay,

00:42:57.539 --> 00:43:23.369
perfect. So so the the powerful partners that group coaching, which is I've never gotten group coaching, I've always, I've always done individual, but I put off coaching forever. It's actually my youngest son, he went to IU also, all my all my boys went to IU. And he was in a business fraternity, and they use mentors. And he's, he's done.

00:43:23.400 --> 00:43:30.719
He's 31, he's done phenomenally well. And because he always has mentors, he always has a coach.

00:43:26.969 --> 00:43:37.170
It's helped him immensely. So I saw the value of it. I was one who I was like, Well, I'm not gonna listen to him, so I'm not going to do it.

00:43:38.099 --> 00:44:08.610
Well, that's the thing, because there's a difference between a consultant and a coach. You know, I'm coaching Rick, coaching is actually the number one preferred method of leadership development in the country right now. But people know that and everybody wants a coach now, but a lot of people can't articulate actually the difference between coaching teaching, training, mentoring, and or a pit of personal improvement plans. So a good coach doesn't tell you what to do. A good coach helps you make better decisions about what to do. So yeah,

00:44:09.210 --> 00:44:21.480
yeah, yeah, that's what I found. I was that if I had known I would have started much sooner and been a lot better off I think, yeah, but I read what Bob golf, G O FF golf.

00:44:21.840 --> 00:44:26.400
Yeah, who's a New York Times bestselling author, because you're talking about the book and I think this is important.

00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:34.650
I'm not the greatest. I'm a great reader, but I'm not great reading it out loud. They used to make fun of me in school, so I still have that limiting belief. Okay,

00:44:35.849 --> 00:44:37.530
now, now is your time.

00:44:38.730 --> 00:44:48.179
For forces that work is a love letter for anyone who feels stuck pigeon holed, or misaligned and their life or career. If you're looking for theory, you won't find it here.

00:44:48.179 --> 00:45:18.780
What you'll find is deep empathy and a framework for clarity based on missing hard won life lessons. You'll be gently guided by the skills and expertise or experience of a gifted kid He meets you where you are and helps you reflect and take action to realign your life with a purpose. This he has already helped hundreds of people find their courage and conviction to step into their their highest aspirations. I know this book will help her reach many more.

00:45:14.699 --> 00:45:26.159
Because just like me, she is in love with your potential. And together, all of us are forces at work. And that's Bob Geldof.

00:45:22.469 --> 00:45:47.909
I thought that was I mean, that just says a lot. Obviously, he's a great writer, so he knows how to communicate but that and that wasn't the only there was there was another one. But I I picked that one. And I guess I got rid of the I guess I got rid of the No, here it is. And this is by and this is why I wasn't gonna do this because I can't pronounce his last name Steven.

00:45:44.010 --> 00:45:47.909
Oh, talk hasay. Steven.

00:45:47.909 --> 00:46:05.280
Fantastic. Yeah. So yeah, who who is an award winning producers, songwriter and educator. And he said, here's the truth. When Missy walks into the room, the impossible suddenly feels possible problems become opportunities and far fetched dreams become tangible.

00:46:01.860 --> 00:46:08.699
She will move heaven and earth to help you believe in yourself.

00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:11.460
Imagine three of those things say at all, if somebody has a patient,

00:46:11.789 --> 00:46:24.989
even Steven is the very first story in the book chapter one, it might each other. But he's the very first story that I share in the book, because when I met Steve, and he was very misaligned with his work, and he had a ton of limiting beliefs.

00:46:25.260 --> 00:47:27.750
And as we he came into my office, and we worked together for six months, and he is living his dream right now. And he's impacting so many people like he's writing. He's writing music for sitcoms, he's T he's working with many prolific artists. And and he's also he's become a professor. So one of the things that came out as we were coaching is and this is my superpower. My gift, too is I see potential in people. And I am able to just kind of move all things aside and say, Wait, what about this because there was this one piece of his story, that puzzle piece that didn't fit. And it was this love for education. And so I didn't write this part in the book. But one of the things that he tried out during our coaching time when he became an elementary school teacher, and I'm like, you were gonna hate that because because of the institutional and and all that he did kind of end up hating it. But it was part of the process where he, because he wanted to be an educator on some level, and it was definitely a part of his DNA, but he hadn't found a way to express it yet.

00:47:24.119 --> 00:47:57.030
And so what ended up happening is he ended up getting an honorary doctorate from Stanford University, so that they could bring him on to teach this incredible court because they wanted someone with real life producing experience, to teach their students and to make it relevant and current, which education really needs right now. Yeah, you have a lot of competition coming. Um, you can learn almost anything on the internet. And Steven has stepped into this space so beautifully, where he's creating his own music. He's helping other artists with their recordings.

00:47:57.059 --> 00:48:16.170
And now he's also teaching students, and he's doing all three of those things simultaneously. And they are working together symbiotically, and it's just really amazing. So that's one of my favorite recommendations that I've ever gotten. Because it makes me feel like my work matters. And it's really helping people. Well,

00:48:16.230 --> 00:48:21.389
we're running out of time. So is there any last words of wisdom you'd like to share with with the audience,

00:48:21.690 --> 00:48:55.949
you know, just really gratitude read just, I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have known you and worked with you and just delighted that you asked me to be on even though I'm not currently a real estate agent anymore. I certainly love working with agents and have a tremendous amount of respect for the work that you do as a mortgage advisor, and that they do and helping people make one of the biggest decisions of their life. And I'll be in touch as soon as the rates drop, so we can refinance my house and I can redo my kitchen. Yeah,

00:48:55.980 --> 00:48:58.500
you and everybody else. I can't wait. You know, it's,

00:48:58.739 --> 00:49:01.019
it's as if people call like Missy, and

00:49:02.489 --> 00:49:09.389
we wish they'd come down, you know, they just haven't yet. So, one more time.

00:49:05.039 --> 00:49:10.320
The best way to get a hold of you. Go

00:49:10.320 --> 00:49:30.030
to my website, because you're going to learn about if you want to come to a live event in Indy, check out events forces that work live, I'd love to see you there. If you want to learn about group coaching, it's called powerful partners. And obviously reading the book, you can get that on Amazon, but you can actually access all of that at Missy shropshire.com.

00:49:30.360 --> 00:49:35.340
Perfect. Well, I appreciate it. Missy. Thanks so much for joining me today. It's you've been awesome.

00:49:35.789 --> 00:49:42.300
Thank you. Well, it's been my pleasure. And I really enjoyed the time. Oh, perfect.

00:49:39.750 --> 00:49:42.690
We'll have a lot of people today.

00:49:42.780 --> 00:50:02.010
Yeah, I hope so. And if anybody wants to get a hold of me, you can go to hard working mortgage guy.com That's hardworking mortgage guy.com Thanks for joining us have a great day went to MLS NUMBER 33041 MLS NUMBER SIX which is Nike. housing opportunity some restrictions apply