Body Image Freedom Stories: Real Women Share Their Journeys from Obsession and Frustration to Lasting Change

00:00:02
Speaker 1: Life Audio. Hey, their friend Heather creekmar here, thanks for listening to the Compared to You podcast today. I have the stories of three real women, and I know how much you love hearing stories of women who have been maybe on the same or similar journey to you. These are three women who have struggled with body image and food issues in a variety of ways. They're different ages from different parts of the country, and I think you're really going to get something out of hearing about their journeys. So I'm glad you're here today. Hey, if you want to start a journey of your own, our forty day Journey begins January twentieth, and that's strategic because some of you are going to try something new starting January first, and that's fine. We've all been there, we've all done it. But by the twentieth you might be wondering whether or not it's really working. So if that ends up being you, grab your copy of my forty Day Body Image workbook and join us on the forty Day Journey by going to improvebody image dot com and look for the forty Day Journey tab at the top. Also, we have a free gift for you just this first couple weeks of January only. It's a mini course on our website called Obsessed to Blessed. If you are in a place of body image food obsession and you want to be free, you want to be able to walk in the freedom that Jesus talks about in John ten ten go to improvebody image dot com backslash obsessed hyphen to hyphen blessed. That's improved, Budyman dot com backslash Obsessed to Blessed. Check that out. You'll be able to download it and get going on the mini course right away. And I think it might just be a great step for you if you're seeking body image of freedom this January. And hey, who isn't glad you're here? Let's get today's great episode. Okay, this is one of the most fun types of episodes that I get to do. And we'll see if I can make it through without crying. Man, I'm gonna start crying now. What is my problem is? It is amazing to be able to walk with women who are on a journey to body image freedom. And that's what we have here today. We have three women, just Diane and Patricia, who have all started their body image journey. Well, I don't know, Maybe started might be an overstatement, but they've all been on a body image journey and we hear it compared to who had an opportunity to be part of that journey. And they're here to share their story with you today, and I'm so honored to have them. So here's how I'd like to start this lead. Because they'll only know you by your voice, I would love for us to just to go around and say something simple, you know, like your name and maybe your age range. You don't have to give us your age, but your age range, maybe where you live, and maybe just a little bit about yourself and your journey. Patricia, would you be.

00:03:22
Speaker 2: Willing to stir?

00:03:24
Speaker 3: So, my name's Patricia and I'm forty five. I don't mind saying my name's or my age still. I have four kids and I live in California, and I started. While you say body image journey, it's been a journey, but ever since I found found you, it's been it's been a journey to freedom instead of body image bondage. Really, so that really heavily started when I was twenty two and I had body image issues my whole life. But I found what I thought was the solution at twenty two, and really stayed in that bondage for nineteen years until I realized it wasn't what the Lord wanted for me, even though I thought I was being obedient to him. And I think I found compared to who through the Bible app actually a devotion. And then I at the end of it, of course, it says if you want more information, and then that's when I found the podcast, and that's where the freedom journey began.

00:04:39
Speaker 1: I love hearing that, and I'm sure everyone listening will be excited to hear the rest of the journey what those nineteen years are like, especially Diane. Would you go next for us?

00:04:51
Speaker 4: Sure? My name is Diane. I live in New York. I also don't mind saying my age. I'm seventy one. I probably I don't know, Heather. You'll probably have to tell me if I could get a medal for being the person with the longest I mean, I started this journey probably when I was in third or fourth grade, and I'm seventy one years old now, so that's like sixty years.

00:05:25
Speaker 1: But so common, Diane, so common.

00:05:28
Speaker 4: Go ahead, I'm married now forty nine years. I have a very good marriage. I'm the mother of four adult sons, grandma to five grandchildren. I'm a retired nurse, and like I said, my body image and food food disorder started in third or fourth grade. And looking back, I really really see that during different seasons of my life. Again, I'm going back sixty years now, it really flared up a lot. I never, ever, in this whole time, ever saw a doctor, ever saw a therapist. I never had counseling. I in fact, I never ever talked to anybody anybody, not even my husband, we have a very good marriage, about my issues. I kind of just believe that this is the way. It was not that everybody thought this way, but this was just who I was. It was such a part of my identity. The more I did these courses and learn more, I recognize that I am sure. I'm sure that I must have had some kind of an anorexy at some point. I was always been a restricter, always counting calories, you know, depending on the diet I was on, counting carbs, counting sugar, counting fat rams, whatever plan I was on probably for fifty of those sixty years, and I'm not exaggerating. Probably for about fifty years, I weighed myself almost every day. I not for fifty years, but probably forty years. I exercised every day. I was like the mailman through rain ice. I got out there and either ran, walked, ride, I rode my bike, and I felt guilty if I didn't do it. So but through this all all I kept saying was I was a health nut and I was doing it because I wanted to stay healthy. And I think most of my family thought that I was just very disciplined and I had a very sensitive stomach with my food corks.

00:08:03
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, thanks for sharing all that, Diane. I know that's not uncommon. I know that's not uncommon, and I love what you said about identity. I hope we can revisit that as we go forward. Jess, tell us a little bit about you. So I'm Jess.

00:08:20
Speaker 2: I live in Georgia. I am a mom to four and plus four bonus. My husband and I have been married for just over ten years and have eight kids between the two of us, so and then we have eight grand kids. Very busy at my household. I would say that I didn't realize I had body image issues until I found you. I always just thought it was like, I'm just trying to lose weight, just trying to be healthy. It's like all the things. I was so entrenched in all the things. But I didn't really ever have a weight problem until I had four kids in seven years and then it was all downhill after that. But yeah, definitely found once I found you, read some up your books, listen to your podcast, went through the programs, and just definitely have a new level of freedom now. So I'm looking forward to sharing that.

00:09:13
Speaker 1: I love that. And it's very funny that all four of us have four kids. I don't think I knew that coming in, so that's pretty funny. We all have that in common. So okay, ladies, Like when we're in diet culture, right, Like we're promises before and afters, right, And it's always a picture, right, It's always an image. It's always a like I'm skinny before and or excuse me, I'm a certain size before and then I'm skinny after. Is what we're looking for, right, Or maybe I was a certain degree of unhealth before and healthy after. Right, there's all these before and afters that we get promised, and in a lot of ways, our bodymage stories are before and after stories too, So Patricia, I want to start with you, like what's your before? Like who were you before you started this journey? Like what did life look like? What did you obsess about? What did you do practically? Like I'm guessing for all of us, like Diana think you mentioned this, but I'm guessing it's true for you, jessin you Patricia too, Like this isn't something people know, right, I mean, just chime in there is people? Did everyone know that you were struggling? Oh no, no, no, Diane, you said no, Patricia? Did everyone know this was? No?

00:10:29
Speaker 4: No, nobody, nobody, not even my hosband nobody.

00:10:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, Patricia, did people know?

00:10:35
Speaker 3: Well no, because I looked like I had it all together for those nineteen years. I was full of self control and.

00:10:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's the picture of self control.

00:10:46
Speaker 4: Right.

00:10:48
Speaker 1: So it's a lot of secret stuff going on in our heads and in our hearts. Patricia, What did that look like for you before? And then? What has changed? What is your ass?

00:11:00
Speaker 3: So?

00:11:02
Speaker 5: Oh gosh, well, my before finding you was only maybe three years, maybe two years, So it was this two years where I had been.

00:11:21
Speaker 3: I think what I was in was direxia. I've kind of come to termin it that now, But I was in a very strict food program, and I think I almost would call it a cult now because there's a lot of unwiring that's having to be done. But I was told things and believed for all those years, during such my early adult years, I mean twenty two to forty one years old, that to eat was to die. And so you stick to this food, and you weigh and measure it, and you eat it these times and you don't go out of that, and so so much of my value was being able to stick to that, and so I was very thin. My obsession went from I want to eat more, I want to eat more. I want to eat more, which was how I was before I found that program, too, I want to get skinnier. I want to get skinnier. I want to get skinnier. I never felt like I was thin enough, and I was extremely underweight. I did not look like I had had four kids at all. So when I left that program, it was a lot of years of me just feeling like, I don't think this is what God wants. I feel like I'm in bondage. And I would use that word even though what I was being told is this is freedom, this is freedom, this is freedom. But inside I was like, and this is a secular program. So here I am a believer, and inside I just knew, like this isn't right. So anyway, I had these two years, and of course I was terrified because I felt like, they can't be right, they can't be right, that if I leave here, I'm going to get big as a house and look my life and I'm powerless over food all that stuff. So so my before coming here or finding this, was still believing that my worth was in my weight, that I wasn't lovable unless I looks like every woman wanted to look. I was terrified that my husband was going to be disgusted with me because I had been so thin all those years. I was terrified that that if I ate those foods, I was going to be out of control again. And yeah, food, there were foods that were bad, foods that were good. Don't get fat, because if you do, you're like you're like worthless. And so I've been kind of on this journey for a few years or a couple of years, I don't know now, maybe two. And it's not totally easy. I mean, my weight just kind of keeps going up and up, I think, But I think. I think the way that I keep going, the way that I keep chasing after freedom is what I've learned is about God. That's what I loved so much from all the different courses was it was just kept bringing me back to.

00:14:21
Speaker 2: God.

00:14:22
Speaker 3: Isn't disappointed because you're putting on some weight. God says, all foods are fine. Like just learning those things that take the moral issue out of food and out of body size. So that's the journey that I'm on. But I have to remind myself a lot still. Tons of people are on azembic at work. Oh it's tempting.

00:14:43
Speaker 6: It's so tempting because I do love the way it feels to be thin, But.

00:14:49
Speaker 3: Because I'm learning more about God, I'm like, Lord, I just want to be more faithful to you than anything else.

00:14:55
Speaker 6: I tore that stupid saying nothing tasteses good is being thin feels, And I'm like, nothing looks as good as knowing my heart is following after God. So I might just keep getting bigger, But as long as God is pleased because I love him so much, then just help me keep pursuing you.

00:15:15
Speaker 3: God. So even though it's uncomfortable.

00:15:20
Speaker 1: I love that. I love your honesty, Patricia, because it is. It's a hard journey, but it's so funny. Right, Like I did that episode and I can't remember what it was called, but I basically was using like a I call BS because I think so many of us in that season, like for you that Interrexic season, likely right in that season, it's like, oh, it was so amazing. I felt so great with that body. And then it's like, yeah, but like it was never enough, Like no, it's not really true, Like I mean, it wasn't like we just romanticize what it was, but it was. But oh goodness, it's hard. It's hard to wrestle with that. Diane. What you shared some of kind of what your journey looked like before, a lot of counting and tracking and exercising, what was going on in the inside. Those are the behaviors people saw. What were your thoughts inside?

00:16:24
Speaker 4: I think I really it was very insecure. I don't really I don't know really where I got the connection to put it to food. But all I wanted to do was to be accepted and loved on a very very non contra confrontational type of person, any kind of conflict, disagreement really frightens me. I avoided it costs, and that's why I had mentioned different seasons of my life, I think my eating disorder got worse. And two specific times that I thought of was when my husband and I were dating for many years before we got married, and from the moment I started dating my husband, my parents did not approve of him, and that was something that was very, very very difficult for me because I think we all, matter how old we are, would love to have our parents' approval. But I was an adult. Unfortunately, I didn't have the strength to stand up and say, you know, this was my decision, and so I know there were many, many years and it lasted. Eventually they grew to love him, but it took a long time. So that really threw me into a lot of anxiety and insecure. Again. It made my eating. And then the second period of my life that I remember I was really obsessed more about eating was when I started a new job, extremely stressful. The people that I were working with who were training me more in today's day and age, they would definitely be classified as bullies, and I again didn't stand up to them. I wanted to be accepted. The other big what it looked like for me was that there was a lot of good and bad. I was a good person if I stuck to my diet and if I was always a restrictor, and like Patricia said, I was always underweight. Didn't think that I was underweight, but I was always underweight because I was a restrictor. So then if I ate a lot, I felt that I was a bad person. It was all like a lot of black and white thinking. I was either a good person or a bad person. And what I ate kind of was my identity. So that's it was just very, very sad when I think back about it. I remember going to a family gathering at my sister's home. I have Celiac, so I have to risk Kennedy gluten, so aside from all these issues of dieting, so anyway, at my sister's gathering, she was so kind and she made a gluten free dessert just for me, just for me. I mean it was she had enough on her plate, a lot of people that she was entertaining, and in my restricting days, I wouldn't eat at the gathering. I wouldn't eat the she made for me even to try it, And thinking back now, I said that was so that was so like hurtful of me, Like she was so kind and gracious, Like I carried it that far, Like I wouldn't even just taste it as if it was poison because it was something sweet. That was the other thing that I totally like. I had such a fear, fear of carbs, fear of sugar, fear of ugar was unbelievable if I had any any bit of sugar, Like I thought, if I had a piece of cake, let's say that I would gain five pound, which is ridiculous thinking back now. So I was just very obsessed, always counting calories. Always counting calories kind of goes hand in hand with weighing myself every day. I felt good if I stayed at my weight and if I gained a pound pound a pound. Who notices a pound? I I it's really sad when I think of at her. So that's where I was, and I'm in a much much better place now. I'm still still struggle. You know, it's not done and then fixed, but I just feel I'm just so much more aware aware of ways that I was. And the other thing is I'm I was always brought up in church. I'm Catholic. We went to church every week. I brought my children of Catholic. But it was kind of like two worlds I was in. Like I never connected my faith life with my eating issues. They were two entirely different things, entirely until until I started you know your program, this journey and and now it's all about God and my relationship with God.

00:21:56
Speaker 1: Oh, thanks for sharing all that, Diane. Yeah, and I hear that major theme again that Betrisha mentioned too, of fear. Right, It's so driven by fear. And that's the series we did off Fall was you know, fear free Fall. Like all these little fears keep us in bondage. It feels so overwhelming to feel so afraid of eating the wrong thing, or doing the wrong thing, or missing the workout or not doing the best healthiest thing. And yeah, there's a lot of fear fear in all of our stories. I think, Jess, how about you any fear there?

00:22:37
Speaker 2: So I actually have a little bit of a different background. So, as I mentioned, I didn't have a white problem until after I had my children, and so I spent a lot of my thirties and forties, dieting and losing and gaining and losing it and playing that game. And then I just finally like I just stopped because I was like, this is ridiculous, Like I'm not getting anywhere. And so there was a lot of shame. I had a lot of shame around my situation and a lot of like worth, Like I felt like I was unworthy. Like I got to a point where I was like, somebody just tell me what to eat, when to eat it, how to eat it. Just put it all together for me, and I can do this. But it became I had become so obsessed with trying to lose weight that I literally swung the other way and I'd just like let everything go. So I wasn't like exercising, I wasn't die, I wasn't doing any of the things. And then but there was still like my weight just kept creeping up, and the higher my weight went, I was like, why why can't I figure this out? So I felt a lot of a lot of guilt and shame around my body and why I couldn't figure it out and I couldn't lose the weight and I couldn't keep it off. And so even before I found you, I started doing a lot of that, like thought work around that, and like really paying attention to how the trauma of my childhood and my earth adulthood, how a lot of that played into the roles and into the decisions I was making and the way I was living my life. So when I found you, I had come from this place where I knew diets didn't work. I knew that there wasn't like there wasn't a plan I could follow. There wasn't a thing that I could do to make it make my body do what I wanted my body to do. But I still had like a lot of that shame and a lot of like this unworthy feeling of the whole, Like being in a bigger body makes me invisible, It makes me unworthy, It makes me people look at me and they think I'm unhealthy. And so I had a lot of that. And so going through this, going through the courses with you and working with Tera, I found a lot of freedom on the other side of that. And now I stand here today and I can tell you I love this body. This is the body that God gave me, and it has done amazing things for me, and it has carried me through amazing things, and if I never lost another pound, I have this amazing body that God gave me and this amazing life that He has given me to live, and I want to do whatever he wants me to do. And it took me from going in this place of shame and wanting to hide to I am here and I am all in for God and for what he has for my life.

00:25:31
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that so much, Jess. And yeah, I mean that's that's shame, right. Enemy comes in wherever we're at, right, because I think Diane you would say you felt shame, and Patricia like it has different shades, right, different different looks, different colors, if you will. But man, the enemy is not very creative. He's just trying to get us all to hide, right, trying to get us all to feel bad about our bodies or what we eat all the time. So to your point, Jess, so we'll be rendered and effective, right, So we'll be so caught up and I've got to get to that number or I've got to keep that number right, And what an empty thing to chase because we all know you see that number and it doesn't like all of a sudden fix all the problems in your life, right, I mean, have you had that experienced in your shape?

00:26:29
Speaker 4: Because I did reach that number. I reached the number, and I was still miserable. In fact, when I was at that number, which was so underweight, I remember being with my grandkids and I my daughter in law sent me a picture and I said, oh, my goodness, I looked ill, Like I looked wrinkled and ill. And it was the first time that I just saw how unhealthy I looked and I had reached that number.

00:27:01
Speaker 1: M hm, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the other theme, though I hear, is you guys sharing this journey wasn't really about figuring out your ideal size or figuring out how to love your cellulite or lack thereof. I don't know, And that's not really what it was about, Jess. I want to start with you this time of work backwards, like you said, a lot of great stuff. Any what was a big takeaway? Like was there a pivotal moment? Was there like this is what? This is what shifted my think?

00:27:42
Speaker 2: I think it was so subtle, though, But when when my my my thinking finally shifted, I think it was so subtle that I didn't realize it, and I remember there was a moment when I was going through the intuitive eating part with both Terra and I had said to her, I was like, I am so mad at this book because I know all of this, and when is it gonna get to like this place where you're gonna give me something new? And it was literally like the very next chapter, and I was like, Okay, God, I see you, and I see that you still see me, and that you know where I'm at, and that you're gonna meet me right here in the middle of this mess. And it was almost like it was so subtle for me because it was I almost missed it because I was so angry. I was like, why am I spending all of this money and doing all of this time and putting in all of this work and nothing is changing. And then it was just suddenly it was like the sudden shift of Okay, wait minute, there is something here for me.

00:28:44
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that, I mean, And that's that's the tricky part right where we live in an Amazon Prime society, like I need the change delivered within twenty four hours, profably between four and eight a m. You know, like so I can wake up now tomorrow. Oh and it's hard work, yeah, isn't it.

00:29:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's still I just I'm sorry, I just want to add one more little piece. It's still a day to day thing for me. But but I have so much more freedom now and I don't get so caught up in the I don't get so tired at a knots over all of it.

00:29:18
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, and I think I as I coach, you all have tried to be very clear about that, right that it isn't like a oh now I never think about my body again ever. Right, that's just not what's real. This is something we're going to all have some degree of struggle with until we get to have it and get glorified bodies. But it's having the tools to know how to fight. But it's also the change of heart and mind where it's like, oh this, this can be redeemed. Right, this for you, Diane, what fifty years struggle? Sixty years struggle?

00:29:57
Speaker 4: Right?

00:29:57
Speaker 1: I mean, Patricia, twenty years? You know, Jess, I don't know if you say ten years, twenty, I don't know how many years you'd claim. But it it can be redeemed, like God can do a work and pull us out of that pit. Diane, any like what it was pivotal for you, so.

00:30:19
Speaker 4: Little for me probably. Well, first of all, just like Jess said, it was very gradual. It wasn't like one day I woke up and I figured this out and not at all. It was gradual that I was slowly recognizing that it was really nothing to do about food, nothing to do about food. And what changed for me was I started eating and religiously. Now I ate three meals a day and a snack. Come like the mailman, come rain shine, holiday, not holiday snow. I eat three mil a day and a snack. And because of that, I think that I can think a little clearer. I stopped weighing myself. Again. I'm not perfect, but certainly not every day. You know, I would say maybe, I don't know. Once every couple of months, and then I feel again, I feel guilty that I weigh myself. So I'm not cured yet, will never be cured, as you say. But the biggest thing for me is I now have a relationship with God. I really I knew God. I prayed to God, but I don't think I really ever had a relationship with him. I had really hard time, really hard time, and that I had to do a lot of soul searching and digging about this. Why, how how could God love somebody like me who wasted so many years wasted and I knew he died on the cross to save me. How could I have not just fallen on my knees and thanked him instead of instead of being so distracted and self absorbed.

00:32:20
Speaker 2: I was very.

00:32:22
Speaker 4: Very ashamed of that, very very guilty of that. So it took a lot of work for me to not think of myself as unworthy in his eyes. And I'm still working on that. But that's been a big shift in my mindset that God loves me no matter what. Forget the food, but the God of the universe loves me, and he could care less what I look like. And that's been hard for me, but that has really I can feel the shift. I can feel the shift in my head in the way I'm acting in many situations.

00:33:08
Speaker 1: Last week, I was preached.

00:33:10
Speaker 4: I just wanted to say one thing. Last week I went out to lunch with three old friends and we went to a Greek restaurant. Haven't seen them in a long time, and we all ordered different meals, but we commented when we got our meals that they were big, big portions. We finished our lunch, and when I first got mine, I had ordered a wrap. It was cut in half. I said, oh, I'll never eat this whole wrap. It's so big. It was huge. Meanwhile, I finished the whole rap, and everybody else got doggy bags to take home because they said there was so much food. And I finished everything, and years ago, I would have been humiliated. First of all, I never would have eaten all that food in front of people. But I ate it and I felt fine. And my girlfriend actually commented to me and she said, wow, you ate a lot of food. I've never seen you eat that much food. She wasn't being mean to me, and I answered her. You know what I said to her, I said, I did eat the whole thing, and I really enjoyed it. It was great. End the story, like, I didn't feel guilty, and I walked out of that restaurant. I said, I'm in a different place. I never would have acted that way a year ago. Ever. So I'm so grateful, so grateful for you, for for all the people, Tara. Everybody has been just I keep saying, it's life changing for me. Life changing.

00:34:43
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that, Diane, thank you for sharing all that. Patresha, how about you, What's been the most important part of this journey for you.

00:34:54
Speaker 3: I remember when I found the podcast. I think I must have started at the beginning, you know, went to oldest and I remember when I was I was on a walk. I would just go on walks and just listen to the podcast. And when I heard it described as idolatry, it was like the emoji that with the whole brain just explodes. I mean, I just I couldn't. It was just like the most intriguing thing I had ever heard, and it just kind of it just kind of blew the cover. It kind of blew open the lie. Let's call it for what it is. This isn't me trying to be healthy, This isn't me. I just unearthed so much just from really realizing it was an idolatry and and what was I idolizing? I was like, I was actually idolizing people idolizing me. And that was a huge awareness to see and to just oh, it makes me embarrassed kind of and kind of sad or like grossed out in a way that I actually liked somewhere inside. Knowing that women would look at me and go, wow, she had four kids. Look at her. So just really getting to see this and I'm not being hard on myself but see it as sin, because for me it was sin. I was going to everything. I was going to my own means of feeling worth anything. And Jess said something that made me think might have been when she was saying the thing about she and Gil. I'm not sure, but what I really got stuck on a little bit in the beginning was when we talk about this is the botto oh. It was when Jess was talking about like truly loving her body that she's in. I am not there. I kind of accept it, like and what I still do a lot of, like I just don't look a whole lot at my body when it's not in clothing because I know that I'll be really hard on myself and I don't want to be. So that's my progress where I'm not like looking at every angle of myself. But I really got hung up on thinking that I ruined what God gave me. I really got hung up on that, like, Okay, yes, this is the body God gave me, but look what I'm doing to it. I'm ruining it. And it took me, you know, like Diane's talking about, like just getting closer and closer to God, understanding his character more and more to realize I'm not ruining it, because to ruin it would mean that there's a good body and a bad body type in his opinion, and I don't think there is. I don't think he cares. I love when somebody said like, we're not going to I think it was probably on a podcast, We're not going to get to heaven and he's gonna have the scale out, like step On, let's see how you did that whole journey that you had down there. Did you focus enough on your way? It doesn't look like you did on the scale, you know. So it's been such a perspective shift, like what's this life really all about? It's really not about me, and it's really not about how I'm looking to other people. It's not about their opinions. The only opinion that matters is God's. And again I'm not saying like I'm all, oh, I totally get this, and I'm it's not peaceful in my head all the time, but but the truth is in there now I can like fight the lies with that truth.

00:38:39
Speaker 1: Most days, So brass taxes were kind of close today. Okay, I think I think it's true. You all started with the forty day Journey. Is that right? Everyone started the forty day Journey. Okay, so we're gonna just kind of like poke through here. So, Patricia, what was your path you started the forty day Journey? Well, actually, to listen to the podcast, it started the forty Day Journey, and then you went on to work with Tara.

00:39:06
Speaker 4: No.

00:39:06
Speaker 3: I did the Freedom Body Framework, I think is what it's called the Framework.

00:39:12
Speaker 1: Yep, that's my freedom framework.

00:39:15
Speaker 3: Yep. That's my favorite because of all the collar sermons. I just loved how biblically based that one was. It really helped me. And then I did the Intuitive Eating I believe, I don't remember what it's called, but I did that one and yeah, yeah, oh oh. And then after that one, I did do small group sessions with Tara and four other women from my Intuitive Eating group.

00:39:44
Speaker 1: Awesome. And Diane, I know you started. You weren't even in there that long ago you were in the forty Day Journey.

00:39:51
Speaker 4: No, No, not at all. I listened to my My journey started probably about three years ago. When I was listening to. I loved podcasts, always listened to them as I walked. And I was listening to a podcast Intuitive Eating for Christian Women, and you were a guest Heather on the podcast, and that in turn led me to listen to your compared to Who podcasts, and it was mind blowing to me because I'm like, oh my god, you're talking to me. And again, remember I had never ever opened up with anybody, so just to hear these words, it was like oxygen, oxygen to my soul. I just I couldn't listen to the podcast, and every time I walked, I listened to another podcast, and I really hesitated to take the forty day Journey course. It probably took me about nine months to get the courage to sign up because I was afraid. I was really afraid that I was going to look different and I just wasn't ready for that. But I knew when I took that course that oh I needed more like again, it was just I needed more oxygen. So currently I'm just finishing up the twenty week twelve excuse me, twelve week course, the Body Image Freedom Framework course, and the coaching with Tara, which the coaching has been unbelievable, truly supportive. I can't imagine doing the course without the coaching. It's just fantastic. And that's where I'm at now, and I think, I know, I know I need more because I'm not there yet. But I can so relate to Patricia what you said about the idolatry piece, because that was also mined. I again also know that I practice idolatry for all those years.

00:41:59
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing on that, Dan Okay, Jess, your path started with forty Journey and then we worked together, yes, and then tell me where you went from there, and then.

00:42:10
Speaker 2: It went back to the forty day journey because I've been in the forty day journey a couple a few times now, and I've really enjoyed every time I come back, I get something new out of it. So after we worked together and I came back into the forty day Journey, then I went in and I worked the freedom framework with Terra, and then I went into the intuitive eating part with Terra. So I've been through the whole through all of it, but I've been with you almost since the beginning of all of the forty day But I also wanted to throw out one other thing and the so the body adult idolatry part like that was a mind blown to me. But the thing out of the forty Day Journey that really hit me hard was objectification and objectifying not only other people's bodies but my and that was like one of the things that really almost broke me. Going through that journey was like really coming to terms with letting go of those ideals in my head.

00:43:13
Speaker 1: So yeah, thanks for sharing that. Okay, as we close, Diane, you started you kind of warmed me up for this. There's a woman listening today that's like, Okay, I probably need to join the forty Day Journey. It's a new year. Maybe I already started a new diet or exercise plan, but I know that this one probably isn't it either. I probably need to do the forty Day Journey. But I'm scared to death. I'm scared of my body changing. I'm scared of facing all these things that are underneath my things. Patricia, you go first, How do you encourage how do you encourage her to take that first step? What would you say?

00:43:57
Speaker 3: Well? I was afraid too, because I had the feeling that, look at you, Patricia, you're just running after another thing. You're just seeking seeking, seeking, and I just thought, well, it's inexpensive. What have I got to lose? I need help thinking about this differently, And what I'll say is that it's a super gentle process. It's not scary at all. You get to share as much as you honor as little as you want. I'm a big talker, so I like to talk. It helps me. But not everybody on those is a big talker at all, so you know, And it's just it's worth the perspective shift that you will get. It's really not about trying to be successful at yet another thing. That's what sets it apart. You're not trying to be successful at anything. You're really just learning how to really let go and trust God with you, because that's what this is about. This isn't me about with checking in with somebody on a scale or someone who I have to report my food to. This is about really learning to trust God with me. So I'm nothing to lose in that.

00:45:15
Speaker 1: I love it. Preach girl, Preach Diane. What do you say to the woman who's like, I'm kind of scared. Actually, maybe it's a woman, because I hear this a lot. You are not the oldest person to have gone through the fourty day journey. So I'm sorry, we're not going to give you a medal for that. But I know I hear that a lot like women say, well, I'm already seventy. I mean, I'm not going to change it's too late for me, or you know why even bother Now, what would you say to that woman?

00:45:46
Speaker 4: I would say that even if you only I mean, if I live till ninety, let's say I have twenty more years left on this earth, wouldn't you want to live twenty more years three and not be obsessed about the past. Wouldn't you want to think about the future? And also that I don't want to. I just didn't want to waste any more time just being so self absorbed. It was really frightening for me, really frightening. I had never done anything like that before. I was so afraid of somebody was going to find out that I was sick or weird. Maybe somebody I knew would actually be listening to this, to this or be a member of this course that I would you know, my secret would be found out. But it was just such a welcoming and like Patricia said, if you didn't want to talk, You didn't have to talk, you know, you could just listen and everybody was in the same boat. So it was just so many really shared stories. Is that just I just And I also said the same thing. It was not expensive, So I said, if I just took one or two classes, one or two weeks and I didn't like it, I just won't come back. But the rest is history.

00:47:17
Speaker 1: Oh I love it. Thanks Dan. Okay, Jess, close this up here. What do you say to her? Those are really hard to follow?

00:47:27
Speaker 2: We want to go do it again? I would say, just you're worth it. You're one hundred percent worth it, and you are. You can dip your toe in and just go and listen and be a fly on the wall. But what you're gonna find is there are other women out there struggling with the same thing that you're struggling with, and that there is a lot of power in walking through this with other women and really getting to know other women and finding you won't be fixed on the other side. We really won't be fit ever, but you will find a lot of freedom at the end of the forty days.

00:48:06
Speaker 1: I love that, And yeah, let me just kind of glom onto what you said, thank you for the commercial, Like, you can go buy my book. You can go buy the forty Day Body Maage Work book. And I think you'll get something out of it just reading it. I mean, I hope you will, but I believe you will. It'll challenge you and it'll encourage you. But if you read it in community with other women, then when you get to the hard chapters, you don't quit right. And it does make a difference to hear other women who say out loud they're struggling with the same thing you're struggling with. It makes all the difference to the way you process your journey. So it's not like you said, Diane, it's not like I feel weird, someone's going to find me out. It's all these women saying, oh yeah, I do that too, Oh yeah, I think like that too. And there's great freedom in hearing others say that. Ladies, thank you so much for doing this. I appreciate you giving of your time and sharing your stories. Thanks for being here.

00:49:05
Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you, thank you, Heather.

00:49:07
Speaker 3: We're grateful for.

00:49:07
Speaker 2: You, definitely grateful for you. Thank you for having me.

00:49:12
Speaker 1: And thank you for listening today. I hope something today has helped you stop comparing and start living. Thank good bye it Compared to You podcasts is probably part of the life Audio podcast network. For more Great Question podcast go to life audio dot co.