Videos

Jan. 26, 2026

Why It's So Hard to Explain Deconstruction

How do you explain what you don't yet understand yourself? Deconstruction is an embodied process that we often need to enter into long before we have the new language to articulate, much less explain it to someone who has never gone through it.

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Jan. 25, 2026

EP 163 | Why It's So Hard to Explain Deconstruction

EP 163 | Why It's So Hard to Explain Deconstruction In this episode, I dive into one of the most challenging aspects of deconstruction: trying to explain it to others who haven't experienced it themselves. I respond to a thoughtful question from a follower about how to remain committed to…

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Jan. 11, 2026

Deconstruction is a multifaceted experience

Deconstruction is rarely discussed as a multifaceted process that touches not only on faith and spiritual development but also trauma and holistic human integration. Why is that? I think that it is because there is a lot of analysis and discussion on this topic by people who have never experienced…

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Jan. 11, 2026

EP 162 | Deconstruction: A Trauma-Informed, Integrative and First-Hand Perspective

EP 162 | Deconstruction: A Trauma-Informed, Integrative and First-Hand Perspective Welcome to my first episode of 2026! After a six-week break, I'm returning with greater clarity and readiness to share about a topic I've been living through: deconstruction. In this episode, I'm opening up about my personal journey through deconstruction—not…

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Nov. 17, 2025

EP 161 | Grappling with Spiritual Abuse and Trauma in the "DNA" of the Catholic Church

This is a video about EP 161 | Grappling with Spiritual Abuse and Trauma in the "DNA" of the Catholic Church 00:00 EP 161 | Grappling with Spiritual Abuse and Trauma in the "DNA" of the Catholic Church

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Nov. 17, 2025

EP 161 | Grappling with Spiritual Abuse and Trauma in the "DNA" of the Catholic Church

This is a video about EP 161 | Grappling with Spiritual Abuse and Trauma in the "DNA" of the Catholic Church 00:00 Introduction and Personal Journey 01:14 Deconstructing Faith and Identity 03:52 Family of Origin and Trauma 09:10 Anger and Frustration with the Church 14:43 Historical Context of Church Coercion…

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Nov. 3, 2025

Do I need to reconsider what 'holiness' means?

I think particularly for trauma survivors and especially for survivors of religious and spiritual trauma, we need to give ourselves that permission to ask and to really question and reframe and re-look and deconstruct even - What did I understand holiness to mean?

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Nov. 3, 2025

Reconsidering Holiness: Saints, Trauma and Spiritual Abuse

EP 160 | Reconsidering Holiness: Saints, Trauma, and Spiritual Abuse In this episode, I dive into the concepts of sainthood and holiness, especially in light of personal experiences with trauma and spiritual abuse. Reflecting on the stories of saints like Padre Pio and Mother Teresa, I explore how their actions…

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Oct. 20, 2025

When Familial Enmeshment is 'Exported' into Faith Communities

Once we understand what enmeshment is, it is easy to see how prevalent it is in some Church sub-cultures. Enmeshment can be particularly pronounced in youth and young adult ministries and communities, but these dynamics can be just as present among adult communities where a lack of boundaries or sense…

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Oct. 20, 2025

When Enmeshment Trauma Becomes Spiritually Abusive

In today's episode, we explore the intersection of enmeshment trauma and spiritual abuse. If you're new to the concept, enmeshment trauma occurs in families that are too close to the point where individual boundaries and self-identity are compromised. This episode delves into the signs and impacts of enmeshment trauma, such…

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Oct. 6, 2025

Resistance to Naming Abuse Can Be Normal

A significant part of healing is just becoming able to see and name reality as it is. For many of us, acknowledging abuse can feel "wrong" and it takes time as well as grace to be able to trust our new way of seeing the truth.

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Oct. 5, 2025

Healing and Repenting from Abuse of Conscience

In this episode, I continue the discussion on spiritual abuse by focusing on Abuse of Conscience. I share my personal journey of discovering this subtle yet pervasive form of abuse, how it affected my life, and my path to recognising my own role in it. I discuss how my own…

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Sept. 22, 2025

A Person's Conscience is Sacred Ground

True conversion can only come from within, from a heart and soul that chose freely. Coercion and manipulation "for the sake of evangelisation" is both spiritually abusive AND ineffective because behavioural change that comes from pressure is not genuine conversion.

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Sept. 21, 2025

EP 157 | Using Power and Influence in a Non-Spiritually Abusive Way

In this episode, I build on my last episode’s discussion of how culture, disembodied faith, and trauma contribute to an environment conducive to spiritual abuse. I delve into the responsible use of power and influence, sharing personal insights and experiences. I discuss how, even with good intentions, we can unintentionally…

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Sept. 8, 2025

When Normal is Toxic

When our spiritual "norm" is unhealthy without us realising, we can be set up for spiritual abuse pretty easily. Catch the full episode!

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Sept. 7, 2025

How Culture, Disembodied Faith and Complex Trauma Facilitate Spiritual Abuse

EP 156 | How Culture, Disembodied Faith and Complex Trauma Facilitate Spiritual Abuse In this episode, I delve into three factors that facilitate spiritual abuse, especially within the experience of many Catholics. Reflecting on a personal experience during a silent retreat, I explore how complex trauma, disembodied faith, and cultural…

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Aug. 25, 2025

Where Has Christ Gone

How is it that spiritual abuse so often happens in the context of evangelisation and disciple-making? Watch my latest episode of Becoming Me where Paul Fahey and I discuss Spiritual Abuse in Evangelisation and Discipleship.

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Aug. 24, 2025

EP 155 | Spiritual Abuse in Evangelisation and Discipleship (with Paul Fahey)

EP 155 | Spiritual Abuse in Evangelisation and Discipleship (with Paul Fahey) In this episode, Paul Fahey joins me in a pivotal conversation about spiritual abuse within the context of evangelisation and church communities. We share our journey from years of traditional evangelisation to a deeper understanding of the Great…

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June 15, 2025

A Message about Spiritual Harm and Abuse

A personal message about why I've been sharing more about spiritual abuse and trauma in my content on YouTube / podcast as well as in my newsletter and Instagram account. Follow my Podcast: https://www.becomingmepodcast.com Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/animannSubscribe to my Newsletter: https://www.integroformation.com/newsletters/begin-again

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May 28, 2025

Season 10 Wrap-up: Insights and Updates

As I round off Season 10 of the Becoming Me podcast, here’s an overview of how my content has evolved together with the progression of my interior journey and some updates to address inquiries about my coaching offers. As I take a break from the podcast to recalibrate, I invite…

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May 18, 2025

Finding Security Through Divine Gentleness

Two different persons and two different experiences of arriving at a secure attachment with God the Father.

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May 13, 2025

Embraced by the Heart of God the Father (with Isaac Wicker)

In this special episode about being securely loved by God the Father, I sit down with Isaac Wicker, a Catholic licensed therapist from Minnesota with a decade of mental health experience and host of the 'Whole Human' podcast. Isaac shares his unique upbringing in a deeply Catholic family in the…

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May 5, 2025

Pope Francis in My Personal Faith Crisis

Pope Francis was a bridge of trust for me during an intense period of interior deconstruction that I went through.

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April 30, 2025

How Pope Francis Kept My Heart Open to the Catholic Church (When I Was Deconstructing)

In this deeply personal episode, I explore the impact of Pope Francis' recent passing, especially how he became a bridge of trust during my period of intense interior deconstruction. Over the past decade, I've grappled with my Catholic faith, my relationship with the church, and undergone a profound journey of…

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