Episodes

In order to grow spiritually forgiveness is one of the most important tasks we need to accomplish. And forgiving ourselves is a necessary step before we can fully forgive others. In a companion Soulcode Post I've written about why self-forgiveness is so hard to do. In this episode I share some practical steps to actually move through letting go of self-blame and guilt. This episode includes: Why self-compassion is needed before we start this work Taking an honest look at our past actions that ...

This special Father's Day episode is a companion to my latest post on Soulcode: We Need Another Word for Grief. I'm sharing some thoughts about how grief grows and changes over time by telling the story of my niece who died too soon of cancer, and a synchronicity involving roses after she died. This episode includes: How Father's Day is a complicated day for many of us and has arrived with the solstice this year How the anniversary of Tracey's death has converged on this day as well Encounter...

This episode is a companion to two previous EOLU Podcast episodes and a Substack post on Medical Aid in Dying. Here I share the story of a colleague with ALS who wanted to use MAID and my thoughts about grief after a chosen death. This episode includes: Obstacles faced by many who want to use MAID Ambiguous grief after death by MAID Grief when the ending feels unfinished Remembering not to postpone saying goodbye Learn about my books here Check out End-of-Life University Podcast Read my lat...

This episode is a companion to the previous 3 episodes on Levels of Consciousness (173), Kindness (174) and Presence (175.) I share how what we pay attention to in our environment shapes our experience of reality and why we need tools to help us expand our awareness. This episode includes: How the brain is wired to focus on negative events in order to protect us from danger How to shift our attention to more positive occurrences around us Why this is not the same as Toxic Positivity How pres...

In this episode I talk about the foundational skill of Presence: being able to focus on the present moment and also remaining calm in the midst of difficulties. This episode includes: Why calm presence is contagious How having greater presence helps you practice kindness How humans are hard-wired to co-regulate their nervous systems Practices for developing greater Presence How to return to calmness after being triggered emotionally Book recommendation: Present Through the End by Kirsten D...

In this episode I'm sharing research by Dr. Jonathan Haidt that demonstrates the ripple effects transmitted from each and every act of kindness. When other people see us being kind it changes them. And this moment in time--when people are feeling overwhelmed, polarized, frightened, and uncertain--is exactly when kindness is needed. "Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing." from the poem Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye This episode inc...

In this episode I share a useful and simple metaphor for levels of consciousness that can help us understand why there are so many opposing views of the world in our society right now - and how to navigate them. This episode includes: The "building" metaphor for levels of consciousness How the view differs from the ground floor to the penthouse Why we need to have compassion for people who have only seen life from the ground floor Practices to move up the staircase of consciousness Wisdom i...

In this episde I share two interlocking stories about the burden we carry when we hold onto resentment, anger, self-blame, and self-loathing. Find out how I learned to begin to let it go. This episode includes: My forgiveness garden How I finally recognized the cost of carrying negative emotions The healing of long-ago relationship disruptions Finally releasing myself from blame How creativity flows more freely when we're no longer carrying the heavy weight of self-blame Learn about my boo...

War is unfolding in many parts of the world right now, yet for many of us life continues largely unchanged. In this episode I reflect on the difference between how earlier generations experienced war—especially during World War II—and the distance many of us feel from today’s conflicts. Drawing on a story from my father’s experience in the war, I explore how we might remain present to the suffering of others without becoming overwhelmed or turning away. I also invite listeners to consider cre...

This episode is a companion for my latest post on Substack which you'll find a link to below. Many of us are reaching a stage in life where it is important to begin cultivating our life's wisdom in order to move into the role of an elder for our society. Read about that on the post first and then listen to this episode which includes practices for becoming an elder: Set aside time every day for reflection or journaling Lovingkindness Blessing Letting go rituals Slowing down Practice recordin...

In this brief episode I'm sharing with you my own experience of the spiritual realm and the afterlife since many people have wondered whether or not I "believe" the afterlife exists. This episode includes: Childhood experiences of the spiritual realm Why I don't "believe" in heaven or hell but instead have an inner knowing of the spiritual realm that we already always exist within How deathbed experiences and visions with hospice patients were part of my inner knowing Why I don't fear death ...

In this episode I share with you a powerful tool that we all need right now: The Lovingkindness Blessing. You can use this every day to transform your life and relationships - the world is starving for lovingkindness right now so I hope you will give this practice a try! This episode includes: The power of tiny acts of kindness Metta as a Buddhist practice How I began to use The Lovingkindness Blessing The 5 components of the blessing Download The Lovingkindness Blessing Learn about my book...

In this episode I'm sharing my own up and down journey of learning how to step forward with love in this world where hatred surrounds us. This episode includes: My desire to not add to the burden of hatred the world is already bearing How the March for Peace by Buddhist monks inspired me this week Why we need to stay motivated by love even during times of fear, anger, dismay What fierce love really means and why it's not soft or weak The Milgram Experiment and what it tells us about our hum...

In this episode I talk about the horrific state of affairs in the world and especially here in the US where we are confronted on a daily basis with violence, hatred, and inhumanity. We are awake now to the reality of the dark side of human nature and though we feel change is coming we don't know how long it will take. This episode includes: Societal change takes time - we have to be in it for the long haul Every little step makes a difference Find a reason to stay hopeful and grateful every d...

This episode is a post-illness reflection on what happens when all our plans and aspirations get waylaid and we end up getting nowhere that we had planned to be. It includes: How my end of year plans got upended A metaphor of going NOWHERE on a forlorn highway Why nowhere is exactly the right place to be (Now Here in fact) How inspiration arises when the ego runs out of certainty Why this matters during the holiday season Learn about my books here Check out End-of-Life University Podcast R...

In this episode I discuss "immortality projects" - a term coined by Ernest Becker to describe the ego's efforts to escape the fear of death. This episode includes: What type of "projects" the ego creates to hide from death The cost of denying death Why denying death makes us vulnerable to cults, conspiracy theories, and manipulation Why we need to awaken to our Higher Selves, our witnessing and observing selves, and help the ego surrender to our own higher wisdom Why even "death work" can b...

Today I'm sharing Thich Nhat Hahn's 4 elements of true love, which is a Buddhist perspective on love that I find valuable. This episode includes: Loving-kindness: May you be truly well Compassion: Your pain is not separate from mine Joy: Your joy is my joy Equanimity/Freedom: Love that doesn't possess or control Learn about my books here Check out End-of-Life University Podcast Read my latest Substack post Make a donation here

In this episode I talk about the timing of delivering bad news and the experience of carrying that bad news until the moment it can be shared. This episode includes: The weight of carrying bad news The divine timing that sometimes asks us to wait Why pausing is a survival skill in our current hurry-up society How synchronicity can occur when we slow down and allow for pauses The value of saying Not Just Yet Learn about my books here Check out End-of-Life University Podcast Read my latest S...

In this episode I'll share insights from my recent Substack post on the metaphor of the butterfly life cycle and why as a society we are in a "chrysalis phase" right now. This episode includes: The need for grief rituals - both individual and collective - as we navigate this time of dissolution Why forgiveness is an essential part of grief work Why each of us must find our own unique form of creativity to bring to the world How to protect what is new and fragile Recognizing other "imaginal ...

This episode is Part 2 on the mini-series on dealing with the fear of death. Today we look again at the 5 doorways of exploring death and I share verses from The Tao of Death that can help us contemplate the deeper meaning of each doorway. The episode includes: Why we need to go within to learn about our fear of death How to "die before we die" by releasing ego attachments Why we must learn to live in the present moment rather than the imagined future Connecting to something larger than ours...

In this episode I share some thoughts from ChatGPT along with my own about how to deal with our innate fear of death. Next week I'll continue with this topic and share some wisdom from The Tao of Death but first we begin with a deep dive into death. This episode incudes: What if we dive beneath the fear of death instead of trying to rise above it Look beneath the fear Learn to die before you die Practice presence Connect to something larger Speak the fear aloud Learn about my books here C...

In this episode I share how to use the Disney film Frozen 2--which I've been watching on repeat with my 3 year old granddaughter--as a catalyst for conversations about loss and grief. Here are some tips for using the film and a discussion guide you can download for your own family movie night. This episode include: Frozen 2's backstory of grief Elsa's Hero's Journey in the film and what we learn from it Anna's journey through overwhelming grief and how to talk about it Teaching moments for f...

In this episode I share how my own grieving process was helped by experiencing the visible evidence of mourning I encountered when traveling through Italy (as written in Wild and Holy). This episode includes: How grief is visible in Italy but repressed and hidden here in the US The cost of repressed grief to our emotions and physical body How shared grief can be healing The connectedness we can experience through grief is needed in our society to heal our divisions How to make our own grief...

In today's brief episode I share some thoughts about how my travels through Italy revealed to me that grief is a powerful source of creativity if we face it directly. This episode highlights the poetry of Andrea Gibson, whose journey through cancer sparked luminous creativity in the midst of grief. This episode includes: How grief breaks us open to allow creativity to emerge Grief becomes fertile ground for creative ideas to flourish How grief can become a medicine, as described in Andrea Gib...