Episodes

In this episode I'm sharing some thoughts on how to deal with our mistakes both in the past and the present. According to research we humans are not very good at accepting or learning from failure and this is something I want to deal with in my own life. This episode includes: People avoid learning from failure because it is too threatening to the ego. Reframe past failure into positive stories of growth and learning. It's important to feel all the feelings associated with failure: sadness, r...

Today I'm sharing with you a brief little story that focuses on this statement by Confucius: "Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it." I hope you'll find hidden beauty somewhere today and every day!

I've recently gotten in touch with my own inner feelings of envy, which I've repressed for a long time out of shame and self-judgement. But I do have those feelings at times and in this episode I'll talk about how I'm working through them along with old wounds that have led me to believe I'm not good enough. I've turned to the Greater Good Science Center for some of their recommendations to help me out (https://greatergood.berkeley.edu). Here are the steps I'm taking to work through these uncomf...

Today I'm sharing my own inner work on feelings of despair that have been present a lot during recent times because of all the struggle and pain in the world right now. But I've found some ways to rise above despair that I hope you'll find helpful too. This episode includes: Why it's important to find our own meaning during times of despair. My 6 favorite action steps that help me rise above despair. How despair has within it the seeds of hope. The mindset we need to cultivate to get through...

You know how people always say "Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst?" Let's talk about HOW to actually be prepared for the challenges that life can bring our way. If we devote some time every day to practicing for an unknown future, we can build our resilience and our ability to be ready for growth when difficulties offer us an opportunity. This episode includes: Rumi's The Guest House poem. Why our spiritual practice needs to take us outside our comfort zone. How to "set the table" ...

In this episode I share the progress I've been making using the tools of self-compassion I learned several weeks ago from Kristin Neff's website: www.self-compassion.org. I also talk about a recent resurgence of old inner messages of guilt and shame about my father's death related to working on an old manuscript. This episode includes: How self-compassion has changed how I view myself and also how I perceive criticism from others. Why my old stored feelings of grief and guilt have been coming ...

In this episode I share some interesting information I've been reading from psychologist and anxiety researcher Tracy Dennis-Tiwary. Her new book is Future Tense: Why Anxiety is Good for Your (Even Though it Feels Bad.) This research really opened my mind to view anxiety in a positive light and I think it is life-changing for our society! This episode includes: How anxiety has been pathologized and medicalized in the past. Why rejecting anxious feelings just leads to more anxiety. How anxiety...

Today I'm talking about another of those existential questions people often ask Google: Why is life so painful? I take you on a journey through my thoughts of the past few days and how I've learned to live with questions that can never be fully answered. This episode includes: How childbirth and grief are painful experiences at opposite ends of the life journey. The story of Parsifal on his quest for the Holy Grail. The two questions that can help us transcend the ego and find the soul. Why ...

In this episode I share how my work on self-compassion has led me directly to confront my inner critic - that awful voice that constantly critiques everything I do. Since all of us have that voice in our head we can all benefit from learning how to recognize and soften the inner critic. This episode includes: How to recognize the messages being sent by your inner critic. Understanding that fear is the basis for this inner negative dialogue. How to have compassion for the critical voice rather...

In this episode I respond to a recent post on social media that featured an angry obituary a son wrote after his father's death. The obituary revealed the harm the father had done throughout his lifetime to everyone around him as an abusive alcoholic who lacked integrity and remorse. I share the story of a patient named Ralph from my hospice days, who had a similar life story to the father in the obituary, but who found a form of redemption at the very end of his life. While it's important that ...

Today I'm sharing with you something I've been working on for the past few weeks, which is "self-compassion." I've been reading and doing exercises from a wonderful website that features the work of Dr. Kristin Neff: www.self-compassion.org. Check it out for yourself if you're interested but I'm sharing a bit of this information here. This episode includes: What is self-compassion. How self-compassion differs from self-esteem, self-pity, and self-indulgence. Self-esteem comes from the ego whi...

In this episode I'll share a list of 10 tips and tools you can use to help you grow in consciousness day by day. Check out these ideas and pick 1 or 2 that you resonate with or that might fit into your schedule. Over time you can learn additional tools so that eventually you will have them all available to you whenever you need them. These daily reminders include: Set an intention for the day each morning. Have a "learning" mindset. Practice healthy eating and exercise. Focus on small change...

In this episode I share some thoughts on life and how to have a mindset of acceptance, surrender, and flow so that whatever happens we can meet the moment with grace. This week a poem, a video and a Facebook post have come my way to influence my thoughts and help shape this episode, which includes: Live each day to the fullest; poem All the More by Kayleen Asbo. Don't wish your life away; video by an 88 (or so) year old woman. Everything belongs. Post by someone living with terminal cancer an...

In this short episode I share my thoughts on what it is going to take for us to get through our currently challenging times and why it is important that we be wise, calm, loving mentors for all the young ones being born on this planet. Here are my commitments to survive these precarious times: Remember that life has always been uncertain and part of spiritual growth is learning to live with uncertainty. Remember that new life and growth spring from pain - the world is set up that way. Trust t...

In the process of spiritual growth it is normal to look back at our former selves and feel shame, guilt or regret over how we used to behave. We may not be able to understand how we could have thought and believed in things that no longer hold true for us. But part of our growth to integral consciousness is being able to forgive our own former selves and accept who we have been in the past so that we can move on now. Here are some steps to take toward self-acceptance and forgiveness: Be able to...

In this episode I admit that I am truly exhausted and weary right now - partly from my own personal life and also because of the troubles of the world and our planet right now. But I've been inspired by a new book of poetry (Love Notes fro the Hollow Tree by Jarod K. Anderson) and by the coming birth of my first grandchild and I'll share with you how I'm regrouping and becoming re-energized through a connection with nature. I hope you find it helpful! Get my latest book The Journey from Ego to ...

Today I'll finish up this 3 part series on the stages of consciousness by talking about the Integral stage, which we should all be working toward in our own development. If you haven't heard the previous 2 episodes please listen to them first so that you'll understand what I'm talking about today. For reference you can seek out Integral Vision by Ken Wilber or Google "Spiral Dynamics" by Beck and Cowan. This episode includes: The characteristics of the Integral stage. Integral is the first sta...

In this episode I continue a discussion of the stages of consciousness we "grow through" as we develop as spiritual beings. Be sure to listen to Episode 65 to hear more about this concept and then return here for a look at 4 of the stages of consciousness and why they are at war with one another in our society today: Traditional Rational Pluralistic Integral Get my latest book The Journey from Ego to Soul Support this podcast and keep it on the air

In this episode I begin discussing a model of the stages of growth we experience as humans, particularly regarding our spirituality and consciousness. Looking at ourselves and the rest of the world through the lens of this model can help us develop greater understanding of others and also appreciate how we have come to be where we are right now. If we hope to keep growing it's important to know how growth occurs and what we can do to foster it. I'll talk more about the 4 most common stages in th...

In this episode I talk about the fact that accepting our mortality is one of the keys to spiritual growth because we need to get beyond ego, which fears death above all else. In fact I always remind myself and you at the end of each episode to "face your fear" and today I'll share some practical ideas about how to confront your own fear of death and work toward acceptance. To work on your fear try these 6 practices: Think about death daily. Read my book The Tao of Death. https://amzn.to/3zEBLzU...

In this episode I'm discussing another of the most frequently Googled questions about life: what do dreams mean? As an active dreamer who has had many dreams in the past that have changed my life, I love talking about this subject. I'll share one of the most powerful, enlightening, transformative dreams I've ever had at the end of the episode, so listen all the way to the end. This episode includes: Why is dreaming necessary. When do dreams occur. The benefits of dreaming as "overnight therap...

As this episode airs here in the US we are all feeling broken-hearted after two recent mass shootings on top of 1 million COVID deaths, the horrific war in Ukraine, and the accelerating climate crisis on this planet. We are shattered and feel helpless and powerless to do anything about the pain that is overwhelming us collectively. Here are a few things to focus on as we process this grief: Sit with the pain. Write about the pain and anger through poetry, stories, or free-form jibberish. Voca...

In this episode I'm sharing two practices from the Greater Good Science Center I've been working with to improve conflict in my relationships and I hope they are helpful to you too: taking a 3rd person perspective and making an effective apology. This episode includes: Why it helps to take a bigger perspective during a conflict. How to use deep breathing to stay calm during an argument. Why you need to become vulnerable to improve your conflicts. How making an apology is helpful during a con...

In this episode I'm answering another one of the most frequently Googled questions about life: What is it like to die? This is a huge question that I actually have enough experience as a hospice doctor to try to answer. It's important to talk about this because we need enough information about death and dying to help us have less fear so that we can live life more fully. This episode includes: Sudden death vs. gradual death from chronic illness. The stages of the natural dying process. How to...