19: When the Rules Are Unwritten (Symptoms & Diagnoses of Autism)

What happens when everyone seems to know the social rules—but nobody gave you a copy?

In this episode of This Way In, Amy and Brittney explore autism spectrum disorder, from diagnostic criteria and sensory differences to navigating relationships and unwritten social expectations.

Inspired in part by Love on the Spectrum, we talk about communication, routines, focused interests, masking, and the effort that can go into fitting in. Amy shares childhood memories of being expected to understand things nobody had explained, while Brittney walks through the criteria professionals consider when assessing autism.

We also discuss the value of understanding someone’s individual support needs, why an online screening cannot provide a diagnosis, and what we can learn by listening to autistic people’s experiences. Along the way, we share favorite moments from Love on the Spectrum, discuss books offering autistic perspectives, and take a curious detour into the claims explored in The Telepathy Tapes.

At the heart of the conversation is a question: How can we make more room for people to communicate, connect, and be themselves?

In this episode:

· Unwritten social rules and the pressure to fit in

· Autism diagnostic criteria and overlapping traits

· Sensory experiences, routines, and focused interests

· Different support needs and the importance of understanding

· Masking, relationships, and Love on the Spectrum

· Online screenings and the role of a professional assessment

Also mentioned:

· Love on the Spectrum (Netflix)

· The Telepathy Tapes (podcast)

This Way In is a conversation about mental health and everyday wellbeing, not therapy. This episode shares general information and personal perspectives; it cannot diagnose autism or replace an individualized assessment or professional advice.

This episode was recorded on July 27, 2026 and released on October 28, 2026.

Chapter Markers

00:01:58 Love on the Spectrum

00:05:51 Amy's Childhood Memories

00:11:58 Unwritten Social Rules

00:15:44 Criteria for ASD

00:28:20 Ranges of Autism Severity

00:39:44 Managing Autism Symptoms in Kids

00:46:08 Applied Behavioral Analysis

00:47:36 Telepathy Tapes Podcast

00:55:44 Looking Forward

00:56:07 Love on the Spectrum Revisit

01:09:15 Online Tests

01:12:16 Brittney's Soapbox

01:14:23 Wrap Up

01:14:33 Disclaimer and Outro

Episode links:

Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron: https://link.amazon/B0iAWI4vN

The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism by Naoki Higashida (and more):

https://link.amazon/B08GBbpl6

Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant: https://link.amazon/B0ewIS1T2

Amazon links could generate a small commission to the show, at no additional cost to you.

Disclaimer

This Way In is a conversation about mental health and wellbeing, not a replacement for therapy. Listening does not create a therapist–client relationship. Please never delay, disregard, or change professional recommendations because of something you hear here.

Credits:

Co-Produced and Hosted by: Brittney Baxter Dameron and Amy Lotsberg

Production, Artwork, and Editing: Amy Lotsberg at Collected Sounds Media, LLC.

Theme song. “The Journey” by Melissa West and Mixed/Mastered by Pink Flamingo Home Studio

Thank you for listening, take care of yourselves. We’ll see you next time!