Why is it So Important to Heal?

Hi everyone, and welcome to the Music of Life. I'm your host Karen Portnoy. Before I get into this episode, please comment, ask questions, share some of your experiences, and don't forget to subscribe. Hi everyone, welcome back. I

Why is it so important to heal? Heal from a toxic spouse, heal from a toxic divorce, and then after your divorce is over and you're starting a new life, why is it so important? So I want to share with you a story that illustrates the need for healing to an extreme. And I heard a story from a good friend of mine who has another friend who I I never met, but I know about her, and he was sharing with me this story about how she started dating this guy, and he was he was totally shady, totally shady. The red flags were all over the place, and she ignored every one of them. And when it came time to having sex, he convinced her to have sex without using a condom, and she went along with it. And she, I guess, at some point he came clean with the fact that he was HIV positive, and so she immediately went on prep. Which this was the first time I'm learning about this for sure, but apparently this prep is what you take to avoid getting HIV. Has nothing to do with the fact that she already had herpes. So I mean, this is just a clusterfuck, you know, all over the place already. So now they're proceeding to have regular sex and unprotected, and she's on prep, and she thinks she's you know home free. And I guess she was at his place in Staten Island one time, and he got a phone call or a FaceTime from his ex-girlfriend, or maybe it was his current girlfriend. I'm not clear about that, and so he hides this woman, my friend's friend, under the covers while the girlfriend on the phone is asking to see, you know, like what's going on in his room or something like that. So more shadiness, right? So he does a pan around the room on FaceTime to show her, and forgets to get to the bed where the this woman is hiding under the covers now. And it's just-I mean, I'm sorry, but this is like this is just awful from beginning to end and everywhere in between. So anyway, my friend has been telling her forever that she needs to cut this guy off and stop sleeping with him, and all of this. And she just will not listen. And she's chasing after this guy every which way. And he makes up excuses after excuses why he can't see her, and the latest one was he got into a car accident with two of his good friends, and he's fine, and one of the other friends is fine, but the other friend is in a coma, and I'm she. It's unbelievable how she just believes everything he says, and it's like this is what I mean. Here's here's the lesson, because I'm I'm not going to go any further with this story because it's just so out there. But I mean, it's so sad and it's so terrible. And for somebody to be that insecure and that self loathing and like having done no healing ever in her life on any level, not likely to do any going forward. I don't think she's ever going to cut this guy off, but it's just heartbreaking because you see someone like that and you just want to like shake her and tell her, you know, she deserves better, but she doesn't believe that, so clearly, or else she wouldn't keep going after guys like this. Hey, I just want to take a minute and tell you about the divorce mentorship program that I created. It's called Becoming Whole Again, and I created it mostly for women who were either considering divorcing their toxic spouse, or they're in the middle of a toxic divorce, or they're on the other side of a toxic divorce. At any stage that you're dealing with the emotional fallout from a horrific toxic divorce, you know what I mean. The texts, the triggers, the berating, the harassment, the threats. All those things. I've been there, and I know what you're going through. This isn't therapy. I promise. This is real hands-on support from somebody who has been where you are. I survived it. I thrived from it, and I've actually transformed from it. And along the way, I've gained so much wisdom from a spiritual healing journey that I am so happy to share with you and help you, it's not about fixing you. It's not about telling you what to do. It's about guiding you and guiding you back to yourself. There are so many people out there who need this. I promise you, I hear from them daily. Thank you for your support and thank you for listening. Okay, now back to the show. So this is where I come back to the importance of healing because what this woman truly needs, and look, I'm not an expert on any. I'm not a psychologist or whatever. I'm not here to diagnose her with anything. She just screams to me as somebody who has been in therapy for most of my life, who has done all this healing work on myself. I just I see things in people, and I see that she is just wildly insecure. I think that she's a little unhinged, only because I know other things about her that have nothing to do with the story. But the story is kind of showing a part of that, and I just, you know, I I want to connect with people like this because I want them to know and to understand and to see that there's a better way for them, and I'm not here to tell them what that better way is, but what I do find that I'm good at is that I'm able to show people themselves to themselves and let them see what they can do to make their life better. So you know, I I always say I feel like I'm a lighthouse guiding people back to themselves. I'm not here to fix people. I'm not here to tell people what to do, but I I would love nothing more than to be able to help people find their way back to themselves, where they can look inward and they can see whatever wounds they can heal, and they can just claw their way out to a better life for themselves, where they love themselves and trust themselves and have discernment and know their worth and know their value and create boundaries for themselves and raise their standards. I mean, all this stuff is really so important because we deserve so much more than we give ourselves credit for, and you. you know, this all stems from childhood. It's just, it's just what happens. We come into this world as a pure soul, as a pure spirit, and whatever happens to us in early childhood, those are the lessons that end up being what we're meant to work through and overcome over the course of our entire life. That's why we're here. So those childhood wounds and traumas and issues and limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns and lack mentality and scarcity and all that stuff. We're going to take that through our entire lives until we, for ourselves, say, "I've had enough, and only we have that power to do that. I reached out to God. I connected with God. I have a relationship with God, and God is showing me the way, and that is fine for me. I don't know if that's for everyone. I never thought it would be for me, but lo and behold, my divorce brought me to my knees, and here I was talking to God. So it's a personal, individual kind of journey and decision, and you know, you learn things about yourself along the way that you love, and maybe some things about yourself you don't love so much, but you get to decide. We we always have free will, and you can choose at any twist and turn how you want your story to go. Obviously, there are consequences one way or another, but there are good consequences too. It's not just bad. Anyway, that's my rant of the week. Hope somebody got something out of it, though. Thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting me and always showing up, and I really appreciate it. So I will catch you guys next time. Thanks. Please join me every Thursday for a new episode. You can reach me on my website, which is podpage.com/themusicoflife. You can leave me a voicemail, a text message. You can leave your contact information if you want to be anonymous. No problem. I promise to honor that. And you can also find all of my social media platforms there as well, which is Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Thanks again. I'll see you next week.