The Flood That Forced Me to Let Go of Over 50 Years of Memories

Hi everyone, and welcome to the Music of Life. I'm your host Karen Portnoy. Before I get into this episode, please comment, ask questions, share some of your experiences, and don't forget to subscribe. Hi everyone, welcome back. I had some really interesting things happening this week that I wanted to share. And for any of you who have a relationship with God, or you know, look, I I never preach religion when it comes to God, but I refer to God as a power bigger than yourself. So, however you define that, and however you call it, that's totally up to you. But I'm going to call it God for the sake of this episode. So, I've been hearing in my spirit when I pray and meditate for I'm going to say several months now, like maybe even a year, and what I keep hearing is is that I need to purge my old life. So whatever that is, I need to make room for my new life, and I believe that I'm I'm at the beginning of my new life, just to paint that picture. But as far as my old life goes, you know, like all of my clothes are from my old life, and I desperately want to, you know, revamp my entire wardrobe. But I don't have the money to do that. I mean, we're talking like 1000s of dollars to do that, and I, I'm just not spending that money now. But I wouldn't necessarily call myself a pack rat, and I'm definitely not a hoarder, but I am a saver, and more for nostalgic reasons. You know, things from my early childhood and throughout my life, I've saved papers and pictures and cards and memories and and all those things that, you know, it's like when you look back at it, and you're like, "Oh my God, remember that, and remember that happened, and stuff like that. And you know, camp letters from my family and friends, and all just like memories throughout my entire life. And I've kept them in boxes, and I've stored them at my parents' house, and they just sit there, and you know, at certain points in my life, I've gone to revisit them and all of that, but I haven't really purged anything. It's just not in a space where I live right now, and I'm okay with that. But I've been getting these nudges in my spirit that it's time to purge my old life, and I'll never forget. Oprah once said there was a quote that she-I don't know if it was Maya Angelou who said it first, and Oprah just related, or if it was an Oprah thing. But in any case, it was basically her saying that God is like a whisper in our spirit. We, you know, when there are things that he wants us to do, or, or not do, or to say, or not say, or whatever it is, when we're getting guidance from God, he usually speaks in a whisper, where we don't really hear it. It's not like crashing down on us yet. But anyway, so he talks to us in a whisper, and then it's up to us to either listen or ignore it. And there are always consequences when we ignore God. So you know, if we don't listen, or we don't hear it, or we don't pay attention, he'll up the ante a little, and you know he'll speak to us louder. And I forget what the example was of what that looks like, but you get the picture. So you know if we're going to listen to that, then great. And if we're not going to listen to that, the elevated message, then you know there are consequences to that, and and I, to be honest with you, I really have been ignoring this whole, you know, it's time to purge your childhood thing. So you know, in Oprah's example, if if we still don't listen to that, then all of a sudden, a brick wall will fall down on us, and it's basically that God is escalating His message to us until we like He beats us over the head with it for us to pay attention and listen. So I guess I'm at that point now where I've been beaten over the head, and the brick wall is coming down on me. So cut to my parents' house, which for the last four years there have been three massive floods in their house, and oddly enough, they're never home when it happens. So I've basically gone there to over. See the company, the demolition people, the people to clean up the water, the restoration people, all that stuff, and the insurance people, and I mean insane. And this also, the first and second flood happened during my divorce. On top of everything going on in my divorce, this is what I'm dealing with too. Hey, I just want to take a minute and tell you about the divorce mentorship program that I created. It's called Becoming Whole Again, and I created it mostly for women who are either considering divorcing their toxic spouse, or they're in the middle of a toxic divorce, or they're on the other side of a toxic divorce. 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So the third flood happened recently, while my parents were So the third flood happened recently, while my parents were out of the country, and so of course I'm now dealing with this out of the country, and so of course I'm now dealing with this yet again, and I think this third flood was the most yet again, and I think this third flood was the most catastrophic. It was bigger than the first two combined, and catastrophic. It was bigger than the first two combined, and those were pretty massive. those were pretty massive. It's devastating, you know, like when It's devastating, you know, like when when somebody's house is on when somebody's house is on fire and they lose everything, and fire and they lose everything, and it's like it's really it's like it's really devastating when you're standing devastating when you're standing and in the rubble of everything, and in the rubble of everything, so there was so much of their so there was so much of their house that was destroyed from house that was destroyed from this flood, and so I made my way this flood, and so I made my way when it was safe to do so into when it was safe to do so into the storage closet where all my the storage closet where all my stuff was, and I mean everything stuff was, and I mean everything in the basement was ruined, in the basement was ruined, totally everything. So when I totally everything. So when I went into the storage closet went into the storage closet where all of my stuff was, and I where all of my stuff was, and I spent a couple of days sifting spent a couple of days sifting through it all to figure if through it all to figure if there was anything that was there was anything that was salvageable, and don't you salvageable, and don't you believe my whole childhood was gone, and my daughters too, you know, books and letters and believe my whole childhood was gone, and my daughters too, you know, books and letters and pictures and photographs and pictures and photographs and hand drawn things from me and my hand drawn things from me and my daughter and notes and cards and daughter and notes and cards and all the stuff that you look back all the stuff that you look back on and you're like, wow, I on and you're like, wow, I remember this. It was so remember this. It was so devastating to see all of the devastating to see all of the things that I cherished for all things that I cherished for all these years just be gone, you these years just be gone, you know. Books that the pages were know. Books that the pages were soldered together with water, soldered together with water, and like you couldn't even peel and like you couldn't even peel them apart and dry them out. them apart and dry them out. I was able to save a couple, but I was able to save a couple, but not not much. I mean, my my not not much. I mean, my my elementary school yearbook was elementary school yearbook was totally gone. I had to toss totally gone. I had to toss that, but my middle school, high that, but my middle school, high school, and college-you know-I school, and college-you know-I was able to save some of that, was able to save some of that, so that was good. Things like so that was good. Things like that, but it was-it was really that, but it was-it was really very emotional. It was very very emotional. It was very draining and exhausting, and draining and exhausting, and physically demanding because you physically demanding because you know, lifting and moving all these boxes and transferring things to waterproof bags or know, lifting and moving all these boxes and transferring things to waterproof bags or plastic containers or whatever plastic containers or whatever it was-it's just-it's an it was-it's just-it's an enormous undertaking when enormous undertaking when something is that massive. But I something is that massive. But I did not miss the irony of this did not miss the irony of this whole thing and how, you know, whole thing and how, you know, I-it was very clear to me that I-it was very clear to me that that I wasn't listening to God's that I wasn't listening to God's message to purge my old life, so message to purge my old life, so He made sure it happened another He made sure it happened another way, and I get it now. way, and I get it now. And and you know it's funny because as all this stuff was sitting at my parents for so many years, there would be times that I would just go and sift through papers and things that you know I meant to go through at some point, but you know life happens and you just don't have the time or the energy or whatever, and so it sits. And it's not like there's a lack of room. I mean, there's plenty of room in their house, so there's really never been any. Rush to go through and and throw stuff out, but I I did it recently and and I just I just took piles of papers and just tossed them and you know normally I'd be shredding each one and making sure that you know account numbers aren't on things and stuff like that. So I've always been very careful in that way. But this is just, you know, accounts have been closed since my divorce. Things that no longer are in my life anymore. Things that I don't need to hold on to. So I, I mean, I was like a fiend for hours. I was throwing out stuff that I didn't need, and it was-it was just exactly what God intended was to lighten my load. Just things happen, and you have memories, and sometimes you want to save things, and sometimes you don't need to. And this was like the big purge for me. So the brick wall came down over my head. I heard and listened to what God wanted me to do. I understood the assignment, and I breezed through. I mean, yes, it took several hours, but it was something that I was able to to really rid myself of, and it was very symbolic of where I am in my life right now. So, while it was you know sad to have to you know get rid of nostalgic things that I saved for over 50 years, I mean it's crazy how long we can hold on to things, you know. But it felt so good at the same time. So I feel like, you know, I'm going back there today just to finish off a couple of boxes that I know have folders of papers and stuff that I just don't need. And so I'm excited to now go back there and finish what I started because it's it's important to get rid of all this stuff. And now I really get why. So learn from me, you guys. I mean, you know, when God talks, listen the first time, or if you miss the first time, the second time, don't wait for a brick wall to fall over on your head and beat you up and say, you know, whatever God wanted you to do, now you have to get the wrath. Who wants that? I don't wish floods or fire or anything destructive like that on anyone. I mean, it is not fun dealing with that at all. And if it were me, I'd be packing my stuff and getting ready to move, but they're not going to. Anyway, I'm gonna wrap it up for now. But thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for always supporting me. I really appreciate it, and I'll catch you next week. Take care. Please join me every Thursday for a new episode. You can reach me on my website, which is podpage.com/themusicoflife. You can leave me a voicemail, a text message. You can leave your contact information if you want to be anonymous. No problem. I promise to honor that. And you can also find all of my social media platforms there as well, which is Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Thanks again. I'll see you next week. I mean, you know, when God talks, listen the first time, or if you miss the first time, the second time, don't wait for a brick wall to fall over on your head and beat you up and say, you know, whatever God wanted you to do, now you have to get the wrath. Who wants that? I don't wish floods or fire or anything destructive like that on anyone. I mean, it is not fun dealing with that at all. And if it were me, I'd be packing my stuff and getting ready to move, but they're not going to. Anyway, I'm gonna wrap it up for now. But thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for always supporting me. I really appreciate it, and I'll catch you next week. Take care. Please join me every Thursday for a new episode. You can reach me on my website, which is podpage.com/themusicoflife. You can leave me a voicemail, a text message. You can leave your contact information if you want to be anonymous. No problem. I promise to honor that. And you can also find all of my social media platforms there as well, which is Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Thanks again. I'll see you next week.