What Does It Look Like to Shake Sh*t Up In Your Life, Post-Divorce?

Hi everyone, and welcome to the Music of Life. I'm your host Karen Portnoy. Before I get into this episode, please comment, ask questions, share some of your experiences, and don't forget to subscribe. Hi everyone, and welcome back. I wanted to start off by asking, what does it look like to you to shake shit up in your life? Meaning, you know, you go along your life doing the same things, being with the same people, being at the same job, all kinds of like you can predict exactly how your life is going, and how is it going? Especially after getting out of a toxic divorce. I mean, you know, you have the world at your feet. The world is your oyster. You can create exactly the life that you want. And what are you doing with that life? Are you repeating what was, or are you going to embark on something new and try new things and have new adventures and all that stuff? So, I wanted to talk about what I did recently to shake shit up in my world. I'm not an impulsive person, but once I make a decision, it doesn't take long to execute that decision at all. So for the last year, my daughter and I have been sending each other pictures of cute puppies. Right? Who doesn't love a cute puppy? And for I would say a little over a year, I've really been thinking about getting a second dog. My current dog is six years old. She's lonely. She's bored, and I figured she needs a playmate and a companion. So my daughter hit the jackpot. She sent me the last picture, and she said, "Can we get him? Mind you, we don't live together, so this is like a whole other way of doing, you know, having a puppy and having her be involved and all that stuff. So, long story short, it took three days for me to go from, I guess, we're getting a puppy, to going up to Corning, New York, we we road trip to Corning, New York, which was five hours each each way in one day, and we picked up our puppy, and he's adorable. He's 11 weeks old. He's so rambunctious. He is a handful, and when my daughter goes home, and it's just me with a young puppy and my dog, holy shit! My entire world just turned upside down. So you know, brought me back to when my daughter was a newborn and all that goes with that, and the exhaustion and the mental exhaustion and just all the things you know, pee and poop everywhere I turn, and just you know, my dog trainer came the day after we got him, so at least I could get that going. And the list is long of the things that we need to correct and work on and train him. And you know, my my six year old dog is a perfect dog. There is nothing that she does wrong. Maybe she barks a little too much right now, but that's just because there are so many other dogs where I live. So it's taking time. It's taking patience, which I have to say, even in the first week of having him alone before my trainer came back yesterday, I I can't tell you how many times I lost my shit. I just, it was just, it was too much. But you know, I never once questioned whether I was going to keep him. Of course, I'm keeping him. He's part of our family now, and I'm enjoying him to the extent that I can enjoy him in between all the peeing and pooping everywhere. He's not really getting the concept of peeing outside. I have a large patio and those fake fake grass mats, which are gross, granted. But he doesn't have all of his shots yet, so he's not going to be joining the rest of the dogs outside for a few more weeks. Hey, I just want to take a minute and tell you about the divorce mentorship program that I created. It's called Becoming Whole Again, and I created it mostly for women who are either considering divorcing their toxic spouse, or they're in the middle of a toxic divorce, or they're on the other side of a toxic divorce, at any stage that you're dealing with the emotional fallout from a horrific toxic divorce, you know what I mean. The texts, the triggers, the berating, the harassment, the threats, all those things. I've been there, and I know what you're going through. This isn't the. I promise this is real hands-on support from somebody who has been where you are. I survived it, I thrived from it, and I've actually transformed from it. And along the way, I've gained so much wisdom from a spiritual healing journey that I am so happy to share with you and help you. It's not about fixing you. It's not about telling you what to do. It's about guiding you and guiding you back to yourself. There are so many people out there who need this. I promise you, I hear from them daily. Thank you for your support and thank you for listening. Okay, now back to the show. But anyway, he is bringing me a lot of joy. I'm trying to get him on his schedule, and and you know my schedule has changed significantly too. So you know I decided part of what this decision entailed was me coming to the conclusion that I have all this love inside me, and I needed another way to release it. And until I embark on or crash into my next partner, who I am totally surrendered to divine timing and divine intervention and divine orchestration. So, whenever that person appears, if they appear, I know they will. I just don't know when or how. But anyway, so you know, until that person is in my life, where I can channel all of my, not all of my love, my overflow of love. Then there are dogs, so I felt that this was in line with what God has been guiding me to do, which is to step outside my comfort zone and do something new and different, and be bold. And you know, maybe that's a decision that not many people would make. I don't know, but it feels like the right decision for me. So I thought that was fun and interesting. And you know, now I sort of have to schedule my life around a puppy for the near future. Luckily, there are dog walkers and and services that you know can come and stay over my my house if if I need them to to take care of dogs if I'm traveling or something like that. My puppy can't go to my dog sitter anytime soon, so I gotta wait for him to have all the shots and be cleared for all of that interaction. But it's it's fun. It's exciting. I'm you know that youthful energy running around is you know sometimes just the thing you need injected into your life again. And I'm not having kids anytime soon, so I think that ship has sailed. But there's always a puppy. My older dog isn't too thrilled with him. She's tolerating him at best, but I do believe and I do have faith that they will become best friends soon enough. They're both big balls of love, so I'm sure they will find each other eventually. But my dog is just set in her ways, and this is her place and her environment, and he's just a little too rambunctious for her right now. But we'll get there. So I'm I'm reflecting on the moments where I lost my shit and just kind of you know reevaluated and and I'm much better now at just staying present, being in the moment, going with the flow, and you know I'll get there too. I'm I'm sleeping when I can sleep, and I'm trying to juggle the two of them and and what their needs are separately and together and you know I'm feeling a bit like a mommy again, even though I'm always a mommy to my daughter. But you know it's it's just a new adventure and I'm thrilled. I can't wait to be able to bring him and her more and more out into the world and take them more places and do more things. I was a little more fearful, I guess, as a new dog mom. She she was my first dog and my only dog, and I was a little fearful of going outside the lines a bit. And I acknowledge that now in hindsight, but therein lies a big issue from my marriage altogether. So I mean, no accidents, right, and no coincidences. So this phase of having this new puppy and and all that he brings is another way of me stepping outside. The lines and trying something new and having a new adventure and it's exciting. I'm very excited to have him and to change up my world a little bit. And anybody who's a dog lover here, you know exactly how I feel and what I mean. So anyway, I'm going to wrap it up for now. And thanks for being here. Thanks for listening, and thanks for always supporting me. I really appreciate it, and I'll catch you next time. Take care. Please join me every Thursday for a new episode. You can reach me on my website, which is podpage.com/themusicoflife. You can leave me a voicemail, a text message. You can leave your contact information if you want to be anonymous. No problem. I promise to honor that. And you can also find all of my social media platforms there as well, which is Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Thanks again. I'll see you next week.