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Hi everyone, welcome to the latest episode, the first episode of My Career Labs Podcast.
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I'm your host, Emmy Akiniemi.
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And this week I want to talk about something that I've noticed has become quite the topic I get stopped when people talk to me about careers, and it's why most careers stall.
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Now, I'm going to go off on a bit of a tangent.
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Before I start, I want to encourage you with one piece of truth.
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Your career is a seed.
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And when I say your career is a seed, what I mean is first and foremost, is that your career is not something you have to look at in silo.
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You have to look at your career as one long continuum.
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So for a lot of us, we look at our careers and we think, I can't wait to leave this company.
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I can't wait to stop this thing I'm doing.
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I can't wait to move on to the next gig.
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But the truth is that you have to start looking at wherever you are as the seed for your next big step.
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There's a popular scene I like saying it's bloom where you're planted.
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And it's wherever you find yourself at any given point in time.
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You just have to find a way to roll with the punches and take something from it to make you develop.
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You've got to do two things.
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It's not easy, and I'm not telling you there's a simple way, but number one, find a way, if you don't like it, to not be bitter.
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Because if you hold that bitterness with you, you take it to the next place.
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And it's just poison you don't need in your system.
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Number two is find something you can hold on to that you can learn.
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Even if at best you learn how to be resilient, how to deal with tough managers, how to deal with colleagues that are toxic.
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Even if that's the one thing you learn, make sure you think about what you've learned and how you can apply it.
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It's not enough to just say, Well, I learned how to not be toxic.
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You have to learn the steps you took so you can build a little step you can apply, a little plan so that the next time you see toxicity, for example, you know the steps to take.
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So it's not enough to just go through it and say, I came out the other side.
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Take something tangible you can learn.
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So back to the topic of today.
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We're going to be talking about why careers stall and why hard work is not the problem.
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You see, the reason why I say that is because for a lot of us, we think sometimes when our career is not going the way we want or it's stalling, I just have to work harder.
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But the truth is, at this stage in your careers, for most of us, it's not about hard work.
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We've worked hard.
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You've worked hard.
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So someone telling you to work harder is not the answer you're looking for.
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It just isn't.
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What you are looking for is steps, plans, and just a way to rethink the situation so that you can start to press on your career and sort of like just give it that boost it needs.
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So that's what we'll be talking about in this episode.
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And I'm super excited to talk about that.
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It's a big thing that when I meet people, a lot of people just, especially when you get to a certain age or point in your career, you're thinking, I've just had enough of this.
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My career's come to a halt.
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I need a new career, I need to do something different.
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And all of these different things are ways of saying sort of the same thing in a different way.
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So, what are we gonna do?
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Let's talk, let's break that down a bit, dig into it, and kind of figure out some nice little tips, steps that we can take to help us break out of this sort of cycle of mindsets.
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Okay?
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So we'll be doing that now.
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And um, yeah, let's do that.
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So if you're listening, there's a good chance that on paper, right, things look fine.
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Things are going smoothly, things are going in a way that you just feel like, yeah, I'm good.
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I know what I'm doing at work.
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But internally, something doesn't just sit right.
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You're busy, yet you don't feel like you're moving forward.
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You're working hard, yet it feels like your progress is vague.
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You're not unhappy, but it's not enough to panic.
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So you feel unfulfilled, yet you feel settled.
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So the question you're kind of asking is, is this it?
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So you're not kind of saying it out loud, but you're kind of thinking to yourself, is this all that is?
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So it's not dramatic, it's not anything, it's just present.
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You just have that vibe that kind of goes, is this all my career is?
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So if this resonates with you, this episode is an episode I absolutely want to listen to.
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Before we go further, I want to be clear about something.
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Hesitation at this stage of your career is not a weakness.
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If you feel like you're feeling unfulfilled, it's not a weakness.
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In fact, I would give you all the credit to say it's a sign of awareness.
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When you get to a point in your career, 30s, 40s, early 50s, the truth is the stakes are different.
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You have responsibilities, you have a reputation that you've worked hard to build, you have a life that depends on your success, your income, your decisions.
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So if you're cautious about making big, drastic steps, that doesn't mean you lack courage.
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It means you're very self-aware.
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It means you're responsible, it means you're conscious of the impact of decisions.
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And it kind of means you're thinking like an adult.
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So the problem isn't hesitation.
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The problem is being stuck in hesitation.
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And I'll say that again.
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The problem isn't that you're hesitating, it's that you're stuck in hesitation and without clarity.
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You're just on pause in one place and you haven't got that clarity around where you're gonna go.
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So the thing that usually happens when these kinds of things happen is self-blame.
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We start to tell ourselves, maybe I've lost my edge, or maybe I should be just grateful for where I am after all.
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They brought me in and they let me do X, Y, Z.
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They let me be a success.
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Or you sometimes even think maybe this is as good as it gets.
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But in my work coaching people, I rarely see people who are lost, like who are actually lost.
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I just see people who are unclear.
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You're still functioning, you're still high performing, you're still delivering against all your objectives, the things they need you to do as a consultant, as a worker, as in whatever you do.
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You just haven't articulated what you want to be known for.
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Because if you know what you want to be known for, that kind of gives you purpose.
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That gives you your branding.
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That tells you what you exist for.
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And the moment you have that clarity around what you exist for, it just makes everything else fall away because you kind of know why you do what you do and where you're going to where you're going.
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And being known for something, people think of it a lot in the sense of, but I'm not a business.
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You kind of are, right?
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Femi, akami, plc, right?
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Joe Thomas, PLC or Limited.
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You are a one-man business that needs to get revenue to pay your bills and pay your taxes and increase your revenue stream or increase your income so that you can do more and and um and then pay your bills and impact community, impact society.
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So you might not be a business that employs people, but you are a business in the sense that you need to continue to improve your skills, improve your ability, have clarity, have focus, increase your revenue regularly, and just continue to stay relevant.
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Back to the point, a lot of us sometimes what we're missing is what do we want to be known for?
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What direction do we want to put our efforts to?
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And in doing this, making that decision around what are the trade-offs we consciously want to make.
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And I want to quickly bring it back to trade-offs.
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I was speaking to my young coach, because we all have to have coaches, right?
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And one of the things he said was he was quoting Bruce Lee and Brucey about Bruce Lee saying he doesn't fear the man who can do 10 different kicks.
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He fears the man who could do one kick 10,000 times.
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Or basically, the person who can have a one skill or one thing they're known for and they nail it down completely is a person that has clarity and will go places.
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Now, let me pause here.
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I'm not saying you cannot have a side hustle and many things you do.
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These are all true.
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But at your core, you have to have your North Star, your shining light.
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The thing that you know, this is just what I do.
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This is what I do.
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I have a friend who does a lot of investments into properties, and he has everything else he does around the edges, but he will tell you, I am a property person, and this guides him.
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All his decisions kind of guide towards that.
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And he knows that whatever steps he's making in his career, in his life, it's all building towards that.
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And it gives him clarity.
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So for some of you, you might say, I'm just someone who loves to make help businesses look after their money because that's what I do.
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And you're an accountant.
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Again, clarity.
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Once you have that clarity, you know that you just want to do that and do it well.
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And you stop getting distracted by all the things by the side.
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So it's about having clarity about who you are and those trade-offs.
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So if you don't have those trade-offs, if you don't have that clarity, every option feels risky because you feel like you have to do everything.
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And if you don't do one, then you're giving up on the other.
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And the one you're doing, everything just feels risky.
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So, and then every opportunity feels like a distraction.
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Every decision feels like it's heavier than it should be when it should be no big deal.
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It's just another decision you're making in your plans.
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So that's not confusion, that's just lack of definition, lack of what exactly who you are, where you're trying to go.
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So what we have to think about is really is what is it that we want to do?
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And here's the part most people don't hear enough.
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It's not a personal failure.
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And I'm saying this to you again: it's not a personal failure that you don't have that clarity of who you are or where you're trying to go.
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It's just a phase in your career.
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Most career advice we grow up with always assume that your career goes in a straight line.
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You just get promotion, promotion, promotion.
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Or you assume that rules will not change, or that there was a very clear way to get from where you were to where you want to go.
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But I have news for you, and it's not great news.
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The world has changed with generational shifts, high technology.
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What you thought was a clear, simple career is not the way it is anymore.
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The world has changed, the world has changed dramatically, and the rules did not change.
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So we're kind of left in this middle place.
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So you're trying to navigate a non-layerlinear, volatile, fast-changing landscape using all the old assumptions, using that outdated map.
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And of course, things feel harder just because of this.
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So hard work used to be the medicine for this.
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People tell you just work harder, keep grinding, keep grinding.
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But truth is, today is hard work without direction just create fatigue.
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And I'll give you an example.
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I work with some people who tell you they won't use AI, it's not what it's, it's not it, it you can't you can't use it, etc., etc.
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And I use it for some things and I am outpacing them with output.
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And I'm working hard.
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But it just means that I'm working hard in using AI, example, for example, as a tool.
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And I'm putting out 10 times the amount of products they put out.
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Am I not working hard?
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Are they not working hard?
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But who's got the more output?
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And guess what?
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They'll feel fatigue before I feel fatigue.
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So the point is, hard work is not enough.
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Effort is no longer the differentiator, especially when some people have tools that can duplicate your effort, and it's like that.
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So, what is the differentiator?
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The first thing is I want to introduce perspective.
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One of the patterns I see repeatedly is this when you're inside your own career, everything feels it's just tunnel vision.
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Everything feels complex, it feels emotional, and from the outside, patterns are much easier to spot.
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So that's why sometimes you almost need to take a step back.
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It's not because someone is smarter than you, it's just because you are so much in the detail, you can't see what's going on with your career.
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But someone who's outside can see your career and see that, Femi, you're making progress, you're doing good things, but I just feel like I'm in quicksand, I'm stuck.
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And a simple way of thinking about it is that you can't read the label from inside of a bottle.
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If you're inside the catch-up bottle, you can't read the label because you're in the middle of it.
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And this is why clarity often doesn't come from thinking harder, it comes from stepping back and looking at your situation through a different lens.
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So it's not about being told what to do, but it's about being able to see what you're currently too close to and to see it in a way that allows you to just go.
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So here's the thing to think about.
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I want you to live today knowing that clarity isn't about knowing your next job title.
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That's not what it's about.
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It's not about knowing, oh, this is what my next job is.
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It's about knowing what you're optimizing for.
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It's about knowing what you're building to.
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And when that gets clearer, decisions get lighter, efforts become more strategic, how you spend your money, where you develop yourself, the meetings you go to, the things you let go, your effort becomes more strategic.
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And then your confidence just follows naturally because you kind of know where you're going on your own path.
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But without clarity, even smart people, you start to spin.
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You really start to spin.
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So instead of asking yourself, what should I do next?
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I want you to sit with this question.
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If nothing changed externally for the next 12 months, what would need to change internally for me to feel proud of myself and my career?
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I'll say that again.
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If nothing changed externally for the next 12 months, same job, same business, same hustle, same people you work with, if nothing changed for the next 12 months, what would need to change internally internally inside you to make you feel proud of where you are today?
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We're not talking action yet.
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I just want you to reflect on that.
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Over the next few weeks, you're going to be unpacking this.
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No action required, no decisions to make, just being brutally honest with yourself.
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That's the ask for this week.
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Think about what needs to change internally for the next 12 months for you to be proud of your career.
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If this episode has put words into something you've been feeling quietly, that's not an accident.
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It's something a lot of us are going through at this time of change and we feel kind of uncertain about where we're going to.
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Because moments like this, when questions surface but answers aren't obvious, are usually when clarity, work matters the most.
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It's not because you're broken, you are not broken, you are not lost, but because you're ready to think more deliberately.
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It just means life and your career has given you a signal to start to think more intentionally.
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So next week we'll go deeper into this idea and talk about why you're not lost at all and you're just a bit unclear.
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And when that and what that means for how you move forward, because you've got to be strategic about how you move.
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And that's what I want you to do.
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So thank you for listening to the Career Labs podcast, host Femme Akemi.
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Take care, stay intentional, and just continue to focus and reflect over the next 12 months what needs to change for me to feel proud of myself with my career.
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We deal with the externals and everything else later.
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Do make sure you listen to the make sure you check out the podcast wherever you listen to the podcast.
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Leave us some feedback so that it can generate more likes, but also sign up for my newsletter where I send even deeper thoughts where you can think about that will help you continue to build up.
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This is a journey for all of us.
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We are going to find our way together, we're going to be our best self together.
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We're going to have an amazing year together, and we're going to build careers and life that we look back on and go, it's pretty sweet.
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Have a great week.
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Stay intentional, and I'll see you next week.
