June 28, 2023
Brendon Watt on how to go from rock bottom to empowerment
Give us feedback,suggestion or make a request Can you imagine letting go of judgment, embracing the present moment, and truly living your best life? That's precisely the journey my guest, Brendan Watt, an international speaker and best-selling author, has embarked upon, and today, he's here to share his transformative insights with us. As a key part of Access Consciousness, a global empowerment company, Brendan has a wealth of wisdom to share about addiction, conscious choice-making and self-...
Give us feedback,suggestion or make a request
Can you imagine letting go of judgment, embracing the present moment, and truly living your best life? That's precisely the journey my guest, Brendan Watt, an international speaker and best-selling author, has embarked upon, and today, he's here to share his transformative insights with us. As a key part of Access Consciousness, a global empowerment company, Brendan has a wealth of wisdom to share about addiction, conscious choice-making and self-awareness.
Brendan's journey to sobriety allowed him to see addiction in a different light, reframing it as anything that distracts us from the present moment. In this enlightening conversation, we explore how societal judgment and self-comparison can obstruct us from recognizing our inherent worth and potential. But that’s not all. We also discuss how to reclaim control of our lives through conscious decision-making, moving away from the chains of victimhood towards a path of self-forgiveness and understanding.
In our final segment, Brendan outlines a roadmap to sobriety, emphasizing the importance of honesty, self-awareness, and asking the right questions to truly understand ourselves. He encourages us to not just dream about a better life but to seize it with decisive action. Get ready to challenge your preconceptions and discover practical strategies that can help you achieve your dream life. Prepare to be inspired, enlightened, and empowered in this thought-provoking episode.
This episode is sponsored by MyCareerLabs
00:05 - Overcoming Addiction and Embracing Purpose
07:56 - Embracing Change and Overcoming Victimization
18:18 - Taking Others' Points of View
26:35 - Finding Purpose and Overcoming Addiction
37:44 - Unlocking Your Next Level
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Hello everyone, welcome to the Unleashed Podcast with Fermi Akinyemi, the podcast where we consistently look to share ideas, thoughts and concepts around how you can unleash your best self and take yourself to the next level.
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Sometimes it's just me, and sometimes I get some amazing guests who can share their personal experience, life story or just some real coaching techniques.
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they have to come and share these tips with you to make all the difference in the world.
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So what have we got this week?
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This week, i've got a special, special guest.
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I've got Brendan Watt.
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He is a worldwide speaker, best-selling author and access consciousness, a global empowerment company present in 176 countries, and his classes and workshops empower others to know they are not wrong and that anything is possible and that they are just one choice away from change.
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He specializes in helping others to overcome addiction as he, too, walks the path of recovery and sobriety.
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So, brendan, great to have you.
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Welcome to the Unleashed Podcast and thank you.
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Thank you so much for joining us on this podcast.
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How are you, my friend?
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Hello, my friend, i'm great.
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Thank you for having me here, you know, and it's interesting actually just hearing you read the name of this podcast.
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Actually just recalled I did this call a while back that was called Unleashing You, so hopefully, you remember us even more.
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But thanks for coming.
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You know what?
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Normally I try to go into these things quite organically and kind of go nice.
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But I'm going to go straight in.
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As I was reading your profile, one of the things that came to me was you said you help others overcome addiction, and the obvious addictions, when we all think of addictions, are some of the more sort of vices that the world thinks of a lot, some of the more sort of vices that have real negative connotations around them addiction to drugs, addiction to porn, addiction to stealing, all those things.
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But with the way the world is going, there's addiction is a much more broader term, isn't it?
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addiction is could be anything.
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You could be addicted to anything, can't you?
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Yeah, well, yeah, and the way I look at it is, yeah, you do have your bigger ones, you know, like for me it was alcohol, but also thousands of other things, which was basically anything that I use to take me out of being present in any moment, you know.
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So we've got like social media.
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You look at that.
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I realize how much.
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I even grabbed my phone and I'm like what am I doing?
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I don't require my phone right now, you know, but it's also to take me away from being present in the moment.
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So, yeah, it is a huge topic and I think it really became bigger with the whole COVID thing.
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I think people started to realize yeah, that's true, that's true because then, all of a sudden, we've got this free time on our hands and you haven't got to go into the office to commute to time, which, if you commute, it, takes you away from some of these vices.
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But now that that's not there anymore and you're just at home, people started to find out that there were a lot of things that we do to take ourselves from having to deal with the reality of life.
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Yeah, yeah, and that's it.
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and also the thing that I found, also with people and also looking at it myself, was taking me away from really getting to know me and I think that's been a big part of my journey is getting down to getting even in the dirty piles that you don't want to get in, you know, and really looking at who am I like, who do I truly desire to be in this world, and then where am I not being there?
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you know, what am I using to not be that?
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and I think for a lot of us that's we've used a lot of distraction to take us away from that, you know, to create ourselves as something that we think we should be, not something that we actually do.
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You think a lot of us are scared of getting down dirty, looking at who we should be, what we should be.
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Why are we afraid to confront that?
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because I suspect a bit of it has to do with we know we're falling short of the mark of who we should truly be and there's a bit of shame or a bit of regret or there's a whole bunch of feelings that's stopping us from looking at and going I'm not, i'm not, i'm not, i'm not, i'm not hitting the mark.
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Yeah, well, and you never can.
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It's as long as you're using judgment as the the source for comparison to others.
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For example, like if you look, if you look around you and go, well, i'm not as good at this person as this person at this, i'm not as good as this person at this, and you're always in comparison, then you're always in judgment.
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So we really eliminate the choice out of our world with that to look at what gift we actually are.
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But also, for me, one of the things that helps me a lot is I grew up extremely sensitive to the world around me.
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You know so much awareness of everything going on around me that I was like well, how do I, how do I deal with all of that?
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so I think for a lot of us who are kind of different or kind of know this, you like, well, i think there's something really different about me.
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You know that thing.
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You want to kind of hide from the world.
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Well, it's we.
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We tend to try and get away from that rather than seek that out and actually recognize that's the gift.
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And in that it may be uncomfortable to look at, but also it's only uncomfortable to look at because you can't define it the way that you've been taught to define things.
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So I'd say, coming out of that is you know that's what led you to your own addiction, which is, rather than confront this reality of yourself, you started to escape into alcohol, and for some others, it's other stuff, right.
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Definitely.
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Well, alcohol was my achilles, you know, but I knew I always had a problem with it from the first drink I had.
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I think I was 14 at the time and you know I was.
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I was with friends and they were like you know, we had one beer and they were like, okay, let's go and do something.
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And I'd be like I want another one, you know, and there was always a need in my world for more.
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But so I actually had a good friend of mine a while back when I was beginning my sobriety journey.
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He asked me what did it feel like when you took that first drink?
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and I went, wow, and I actually looked at that and kind of tapped into that energy of what it was like as that 14 year old kid and I was like you know, i finally felt like I belonged And I think I see that with a lot of us too, who take up addiction and different things, this is like wow, it gives me this sense that I actually fit in.
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Oh, interesting.
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So being part of a crowd and not having to stand alone by yourself.
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Yeah, And that's.
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I see that as one of the things that tends to be people's greatest fear is.
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And this alone can go into anything.
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right, if it's being an entrepreneur, it's following your dreams, following your goals, your purpose.
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At some point.
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if you want to do that, you can't look for approval from others.
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You've just got to embrace this purpose.
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And for a lot of us, when you get to a certain age in life, you don't want to do that.
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If anything, you want to more than ever When you're young, you're a teenager, you want to be in a pair group, but then there's always a need as a human beings to be part of a social group, right.
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But when you get to a certain age, being different is the last thing you want to do, Because then people think you're foolish, you're reckless, you're not wise, you're irresponsible and stuff like that.
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Yeah.
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So how do you advise people to embrace that?
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Well, i would say, first of all, start tapping into what you'd actually like your life to be like in five years, in 10 years, and start getting a sense of that.
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Because, see, for me, one of the things, was I That unwillingness to be as different as I am, or the unwillingness to stand alone, the unwillingness to really be unleashed and set myself free and actually have all of that creativity that I know I have available?
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was that, in order to do that, without doing that, like with holding myself back, i knew it was killing me, which was another thing with the alcohol.
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So we tend to it's like yeah, but that next step it seems so big or something like that.
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I would say, for people looking at that is like take a step and ask, okay, what could I be or do different today?
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That would create my life as something that would be.
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So it's almost like you take it one step at a time right.
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Well, once, yeah, definitely one step at a time, but also learn from that step.
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You know, one of the things we talk about in the work that I do is every choice you make creates awareness, each and every choice.
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So if you're willing to make the choice and go okay, rather than look for okay, what's the right choice that I can make here, how am I going to be a success based on the way everybody else chooses?
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it is choosing something and then going okay, so what?
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awareness.
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You mean I take a step.
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How did that feel?
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How did that make me feel?
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How did that set me free?
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Did that make me feel close to the person I was created to be?
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Well, yeah, and also, what did it create?
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You know, because we've all made choices like I've made, way too many where I knew it wasn't going to turn out great.
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I knew it wasn't going to create more for my life, but I made it anyway.
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And then see, because here's the next step, if you're willing to have on this journey of yours, have one of the big demands be a lot of kindness for yourself.
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I thought I could read you my notes, but I was going to ask how does this tie to kindness to self?
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So, since you're ready to carry on kindness to self?
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Man, i would say kindness to self is getting out of judgment, you know, really looking at that difference of what truly would I like to have as my life and living, and following your dreams, and if one of the things I like to do which is kind of sounds weird but whatever, but it's like but I like to kind of tap into the energy that I had when I was a kid, you know, when everything was about the miracles of life, when it was about what's out there, like in that total wonder of the universe is.
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You know, that kind of thing.
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And so kindness is a huge element with this, because if you can have that with choice, then you can look at your choice and go OK, that didn't turn out.
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I knew it wasn't going to turn out.
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I chose it.
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I mean, it's almost like, what am I?
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I'm going to forgive yourself, being grace, grace towards yourself.
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You know you try something, it doesn't work, and go.
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you know what?
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Femi, brandon, it's OK, i've tried, it didn't work, or it tried, it worked, and you move on and not holding onto stuff.
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Yeah, that's a huge gift.
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I mean, the more you're willing to let go of the past and not have it define you, the more you're actually able to step into something different.
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It's true, but I also kind of if I'm some, if I'm one of the listeners, they're thinking as well.
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those past, they were traumatic and that's why they're not easy to let go of.
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You're fired from a job or you a bad breakup, divorce or something.
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These things really really leave a scar on you, so it's not easy to let go.
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So how do you let go?
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Right, well, good question.
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And that thing of forgiving yourself and actually getting to allowance of yourself where it's recognizing.
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Ok, see, let me say this The big gifts that I got many years ago was the recognition that my life was a sum total of the choices that I'd made.
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And I was like because, see, i grew up with, i had a lot of abuse, i grew up really poor.
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I grew up in around things that kids shouldn't have to go through.
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So I do get that, you know, i do get that part of it.
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But when I realized that I had choices with the way that I was handling it, i had choices with what it was, what it was, what I was using it to create as my life, then I went, oh, ok, i'm actually choosing to be a victim with all of this.
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That acknowledgement alone was a gift, because then I started getting out of it.
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I used to be a victim.
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The world today, everybody, look victims, let's not.
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there are victims, But I don't want to in any way say diminish their hurt or their pain, But people, a lot of.
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there's a lot of people as well who very quickly want to define themselves as victims for whatever reason.
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And it's a big problem in the world today, right, Which is, instead of sort of looking in words and kind of choosing to press on, they just go I'm a victim and they get stuck.
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Yeah, and the thing that gets them stuck is the lie that they're a victim, and that's what this is a great tool, because this has helped me a lot throughout my life is and I apologize if I speak of you I'm losing sound.
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Can you hear me quite well?
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A little bit Okay, cool, i can, and then it kind of chops out.
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But so the thing I was saying, though a great tool with this is recognize that anything that sticks you, there's some lie there that you're not acknowledging.
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So for me, the thing being stuck in victim was the lie was that I was a victim.
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The lie was that I didn't have a different choice.
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The lie was that I was powerless because of it.
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So when you're willing to recognize the lie and go, oh okay, that's a lie, then you can actually get yourself out of it.
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The truth will always set you free And you've got to confront that truth.
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And, yes, you are in pain, Yes, you've been through stuff, but also nobody can get you out of it.
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But you, only you, can stand up and say I've had enough.
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I make a choice I choose to be free, I choose to start afresh, I choose to forgive myself, right.
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Yeah, and also there's a thing that we do with that as well, where it's like well, I have to do this on my own, which is true to to a degree, because you're the only one that can actually choose something different, But also we have a whole universe that's willing to contribute to us.
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So for me, what I do is it's like recognize, yeah, I'm the only one that can make the choice, But, hey, universe, will you please assist me with this?
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Can I please get clarity with this, some ease with this, give me some direction?
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And you begin to to ask a question rather than come to a conclusion of what can't change.
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And that's the thing that is.
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So it opens you up, You just become blows me away every time you become open to, to.
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if you're a person of faith, you become open to the, to the Spirit leading you, and if you're if you're not, you become open to the universe, kind of directing you and what's coming right Well the more you're willing to be in question, the more you can actually receive.
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So yeah, that openness is the willingness to receive something different.
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So, which brings me to the other question, which is a good one of.
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One of your things you're quite key.
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You talk a lot about is how to take others points of view, not personally.
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Now, this is a hard one, because all of us know secretly people's point of personal people's point of view or feedback hurts us.
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So how do you not think people's point of view personally?
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How can you not when someone gives you direct feedback or says something directly about you?
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Well, that you can recognize.
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okay, what are they actually saying this for, you know, and ask that question Are they actually judging me?
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to create some control over me?
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And see, the only the only thing that can allow you to be controlled by other people's points of view, for example, is if you've aligned and agreed with it, or if you're in resistance and reaction to it.
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So somebody you know says to me Oh my God, you're a total asshole or you're an alcoholic, you know whatever, and has the judgment of that, which is one of the things I've had to be present with as well I can.
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if I have that point of view about myself already, then I can align and agree with it, which means I'm stuck.
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If I have that point of view about me already, but I don't want to see it, then I can resist and react to it and put myself into fight, which means I'm stuck.
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If I don't have a point of view about it and just go Oh, okay, cool, that's your point of view, what's my point of view about myself?
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Then I don't have to be the effect of it, and a great way to get there is all those points of view that come up every time they come up.
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Interesting point of view.
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I have that point of view.
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You know, and say that, say that out, say that in your head if it's with yourself, or I mean out loud if it's with yourself, but in your head if it's around other people.
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you know, because the more you're willing to be an interesting point of view the less and is when someone gives you feedback about yourself, you go, okay, interesting points of view, and that that puts it in neutral because it doesn't make it negative and doesn't make it positive.
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Yeah, Good way of putting it exactly right Doesn't make a negative, doesn't make it positive, which means you don't have to be in judgment of it.
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And mentally it means it's interesting.
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But you now give yourself the time to process and decide what you do with that information.
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Well, yeah, and you don't have to go into fight either.
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You actually have choice, because for a lot of us, we see our choices are to fight or to not fight, to resist or to react or to align and to agree, and it's good or it's bad.
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It's like we've got these two choice universe rather than the question of what can I actually do?
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And that's super powerful.
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And that's one of the big things I've learned from this session already, which is very quickly it allows you, because feedback has constantly been thrown at us, people are constantly saying things about us and if we just go interesting, interesting point of view, very quickly it just parks it.
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It's almost like it just parks it to one side and then that's a very good way for you to just go yeah, i'm not doing anything with that or and it doesn't penetrate into your subconscious, which is where all the damage takes place, right.
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Well, yeah, it's all the stuff that we hold on to, you know, like you said, all the stuff that we take so personally, because somewhere in your world you've already aligned and agreed with that point of view.
00:20:31.223 --> 00:20:40.903
So this is again that inward journey of looking at wow, you know, one of the things I had to look at with myself was, yeah, what is my point of view about myself?
00:20:40.903 --> 00:20:44.381
You know, what do I actually think about me?
00:20:44.381 --> 00:20:50.040
in for basically my whole life, it had always been that I'm less than that.
00:20:50.040 --> 00:20:51.183
I'm never going to be enough.
00:20:51.183 --> 00:20:59.779
You know, all of these different things that I'd adopted as points of view that were basically running my life, that's true, that's true?
00:21:01.538 --> 00:21:02.923
No, that's a powerful one.
00:21:02.923 --> 00:21:07.385
I thank you for that, because that's something that even I can use in my day to day.
00:21:07.385 --> 00:21:14.724
Imagine I was having a session where I was working with a client and she's just been through in all sorts of negative.
00:21:14.724 --> 00:21:16.185
I've been going through a period.
00:21:16.185 --> 00:21:22.059
I've been really busy, so I've not been able to give this client as much attention and they've just been showing negative feedback on me.
00:21:22.059 --> 00:21:28.342
And you know how when you get that feedback on a Friday and it plagiarized you throughout the weekend, so it's kind of been messing with me.
00:21:28.442 --> 00:21:36.907
And if I'd had that tool to just go, okay, interesting feedback, it would have meant that I would have not had to do the fight or flight.
00:21:36.907 --> 00:21:43.843
So I spent the whole weekend going one minute I'm fighting, the next I'm flying, it's a flight to fight, flight, fight, flight, fight, flight.
00:21:43.843 --> 00:21:47.545
And in the end it just made the weekend a mess.
00:21:47.545 --> 00:21:50.701
So that's, if I just gone, interesting feedback.
00:21:50.701 --> 00:21:52.105
I'll take that on board, thank you.
00:21:52.105 --> 00:21:55.121
It just allows me to just neutralize it.
00:21:55.121 --> 00:21:56.443
Just neutralize it.
00:21:56.443 --> 00:21:58.417
Yeah, it doesn't put me in that.
00:21:58.417 --> 00:22:03.680
It puts me in that third place, which is is feedback Some of it's useful, some of it's not so useful.
00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:06.902
And the last thing, to put it in context and decide what I do with that feedback.
00:22:11.079 --> 00:22:15.087
Well, and that's the that's the other thing too is it allows you to be in question.
00:22:15.087 --> 00:22:30.983
So if, for anyone listening, i would say, like, even with what you're talking about, with having a situation with a person in your life, say, for example, even you know we've all had relationships, you know, and you might have fight and stuff going on, is that tool?
00:22:30.983 --> 00:22:32.067
Interesting point of view.
00:22:32.067 --> 00:22:33.118
I have this point of view.
00:22:33.118 --> 00:22:37.585
But then also interesting point of view they have this point of view.
00:22:37.585 --> 00:22:51.611
And then interesting point of view I have the point of view they have this point of view because a lot of us go into this thing also of going well, they're saying this because, or they're doing this because you know we've got this whole universe created.
00:22:51.611 --> 00:22:54.654
Yeah, it's not necessarily what you're going to want either.
00:22:54.694 --> 00:23:02.307
It allows you to not take it personal, which is what triggered this conversation, but also for the other person when you say interesting point of view for them as well, all of a sudden.
00:23:02.307 --> 00:23:06.827
It doesn't it, because you're not fight or flight either.
00:23:06.827 --> 00:23:11.721
It doesn't escalate into a conflict between you and the other person as well, right?
00:23:15.961 --> 00:23:28.038
Yeah, exactly, and it's like and you and you can actually create the freedom for you with it, but then with that, with your willingness to not go into fight with it, they have nothing to fight against.
00:23:28.038 --> 00:23:36.634
When something, when someone doesn't have something to fight against, the fight eventually dies And also fight with, or they find somebody else to fight.
00:23:36.694 --> 00:23:39.084
So that's really useful.
00:23:39.084 --> 00:23:43.404
Which begins my next question, which is acting over hoping.
00:23:43.404 --> 00:23:47.175
I mean, on the face of it, that seems obvious.
00:23:47.175 --> 00:23:59.226
But when you say acting over hoping is one of the topics you're quite interested in, am I right to say it just means just do it, or is there more to it than that?
00:24:03.519 --> 00:24:05.584
No, i think you're pretty pretty much onto it.
00:24:05.584 --> 00:24:14.626
There is well, most of us look for, most of us use wishing and hoping as a way to replace choosing and taking action.
00:24:14.626 --> 00:24:21.435
You know, so it's like, if you look at one of the big topics in the world at the moment is money.
00:24:21.435 --> 00:24:23.763
You know a lot of people who got financial struggle.
00:24:23.763 --> 00:24:27.025
So it's like, and you know, i wish this would change.
00:24:27.025 --> 00:24:28.882
I hope this eventually changes.
00:24:29.355 --> 00:24:32.785
Other than, what action could I take today that would change this?
00:24:32.785 --> 00:24:36.304
What could I be or do different today that would change this?
00:24:36.304 --> 00:24:40.625
What choices do I have that I could make that would change this?
00:24:40.625 --> 00:24:45.405
You know, because I think we can all relate to it.
00:24:45.405 --> 00:24:57.336
We're going the thing of I hope this turns out just fine, which is you've already decided the way you think you want it to turn out and the way that you know it can't necessarily, but it's like.
00:24:57.336 --> 00:25:02.165
But action is the only thing that's actually going to hope is not a strategy, it's a future.
00:25:02.165 --> 00:25:14.008
Yeah, no, it's not a very good one, not a very good one at all from from many years of trying it.
00:25:14.008 --> 00:25:15.674
No, i would say it's not very good.
00:25:15.795 --> 00:25:20.967
So your life journey would be in alcoholic sobriety for you.
00:25:20.967 --> 00:25:23.737
What's, what was the turning moment for you then?
00:25:26.598 --> 00:25:28.942
Yeah, oh.
00:25:28.942 --> 00:25:37.565
The turning moment for me was I started getting a sense that the alcohol had gotten basically out of control.
00:25:37.565 --> 00:25:40.446
I couldn't really stop.
00:25:40.446 --> 00:25:45.931
So a few years ago I started trying to stop, in vain.
00:25:45.931 --> 00:25:54.285
I'd go a few weeks without it and started getting a little bit of help, but still didn't really want to change it.
00:25:54.720 --> 00:26:07.980
I remember the first time that I I think I read it in a book that it was basically the only way that you're going to change this is total abstinence from alcohol, and I was like no alcohol ever.
00:26:07.980 --> 00:26:10.628
You know, that was horrifying to me.
00:26:10.628 --> 00:26:47.289
So, but but as I kept moving with that, you know, and I tried doing it all on my own, i thought no, i can handle this, i can handle this, but I didn't really want to look at the roots of it, i didn't really want to look at the source of it And eventually it, just last year, beginning of last year, it kind of bubbled over And you know, i drank to a point where I was kind of gone and I realized in that moment, if I don't get some help, if I don't actually get honest with myself with this, it's not, i'm not going to have a future.
00:26:47.309 --> 00:26:58.156
Yeah, and that was a thing to look at Like a bottom that a lot of people refer to it as Yeah.
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