Dec. 24, 2022

Christmas v. Hanukkah

Christmas v. Hanukkah
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Smarty Pants Lance

Lance discusses Christmas versus Hanukkah.


At Sunday school he was told he must learn to think for himself. Except, when it came to religion, which is, as everyone knows, from "on high," and cannot be questioned.


He tells us about the history of Hanukkah, the eight (8) day, "Festival of Lights," and how the Jews were, on the ushe, being killed, there religion cancelled, and temples destroyed. Talk about cancel culture.


He then reveals why, even though he was raised Jewish, he connects much better with Christmas. There are beautiful trees, stockings hung on mantels, tasty treats, more artful stained glass, and tuney songs.


Whereas, Hanukkah he got seemingly jipped, present wise, while enduring songs which are mostly intonations of hacking and spiting. Plus the food and treats no as good, and no pretty trees with twinkeling lights.. Though, he feels sorry for the trees. What did a nice, healthy, tree, minding its own business, ever do to deserve a chopping?


Lance ponders what happened to the farcical lamp/menorah. Where is it? Was it accidently sold at a Roman swap meet? Did Judah, "The Hammer" Maccabee forget to scratch his name on it and "If found, please return to "The Hammer?"


There's more of course. I'll leave that to your listening pleasure.


Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a happy Festivus for the rest of us!