Janelle Brown After Sister Wives: Finding Herself & Starting Over After Divorce

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Welcome back to Bent Not Broken, starting over after divorce. I'm your host, Coach Deborah. Today's episode is a little different, and one I'm especially excited to share with you. I've been watching Sister Wives for years, and I've always been fascinated by the dynamics of polygamy, especially from a woman's perspective. I've often wondered what happens to a woman's self-esteem when she shares her husband, her family, and so much of her life with other wives. Can that kind of sisterhood actually strengthen a woman's confidence and sense of belonging? Or can comparison, competition, and the struggle to have your needs met slowly diminish your own self-worth and cause you to lose pieces of yourself along the way? Those questions are part of what makes today's conversation so interesting to me. I have the opportunity to share an episode originally featured on the Get Obsessed podcast with Janelle Brown from TLC's Sister Wives. But this conversation is about much more than polygamy or a television show. It's about a woman who spent decades living within a marriage and family structure and then had to figure out who she was when that chapter of her life ended. Janelle talks about leaving her plural marriage, navigating grief and loss, finding her independence, rebuilding her identity, and opening herself up to what might come next. And while most of us haven't experienced a plural marriage, I think many women will recognize the questions underneath her story. Who am I outside of my marriage? What do I want now? And perhaps most importantly, do I believe I deserve to create a life that feels like my own? Those are so many questions that many of us face after divorce, heartbreak, or any major life transition. So as you listen today, I invite you to look beyond the headlines and the television cameras and listen to Janelle's story as one woman's journey of rediscovering herself. Because sometimes the end of the life you knew isn't the end of your story. It may simply be the beginning of your next chapter. Here is Janelle Brown's conversation originally featured on the Get Obsessed podcast.

SPEAKER_05 3:22

Summer's loose schedule is gone. Now it's earlier alarms, pad calendars, and even more on my plate. But what's on my plate are the daily tasks that needs to be done that leads me towards my goals and my dreams. So I can't abandon them. I turn to AG1. AG1 helps to maintain my energy, support my gut health, and it supports my immune health, which is so important to me. AG1 is clinically shown to support your gut health and fill in common nutrient gaps. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription with ordering AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkAD1.com slash obsess.

SPEAKER_04 4:16

Planning for the future? State Farm can help because they know life's biggest moments often come with big responsibilities. Whether you're starting a family or buying your first home, State Farm Life Insurance can help protect those you love. With flexible coverage options that fit your budget, plus the ability to update your life insurance policy as needs change, you can live more confidently as life changes. Get started with State Farm. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

SPEAKER_06 4:50

Let's get into it, Obsessors. Today's guest has spent a good decade on television. In one of the most watched and maybe one of the most polarizing families in reality TV history. You know her sister wife, Janelle Brown. But here's what most people don't know. Janelle isn't just one of the wives. She spent years working in the financial services industry. She's a farmer. She's a life coach and mentor. She's a mother of six, a woman who spent 25 years navigating plural marriage and came out on the other side. Free, divorced, rebuilding. And side note, she's not just a sister wife, she's a kick-ass life coach. This woman personally coached me through months of confusion and brought me clarity. So trust me when I say this conversation is coming from a place of real respect, not just curiosity. She has lived her deepest, darkest moments in the headlines in a fishbowl with cameras rolling the entire time, weighing in on her marriage, her family, her pain. And now she's living her most triumphant moments, actualizing chapter two in real time. She owns a farm, Teative Farms. She's got a wellness brand called Strive with Janelle. And with season 21 potentially on the way, the world is about to see even more of who she's become. This conversation is exactly that, the split. Chapter one, what was life like inside of polygamy? What did that actually look like? And how was it like to live that out in the public? And what were the parts we didn't see? And then chapter two, who is Janelle now, as she is writing her own story on her own terms, out of the fishbowl? Well, yeah, never really out of the fishbowl and into her own. This is not a takedown. This is not the tabloid rehash. This is a woman talking about reinvention after 25 years of living for everybody else's near it but her own. Oh my god, Janelle, I just got goosebumps reading your. I mean, like, I am so excited to have you here. Thank you. I'm actually so excited to be with you. If we're going back and we're talking about chapter one, because Janelle is living proudly in her chapter two, what does an ordinary Tuesday before the cameras started rolling look like for you? What did the ordinary life look like with the wives?

SPEAKER_07 7:12

Yeah. So I always worked full-time. I usually got up early, went to work. Usually my children were home, Christine was with them. It was kind of normal. Like I just went to work, but my childcare was built in. My childcare was home with them. And I loved it because I had a lot of freedom because I didn't have to worry about if the kids were sick or that they were being cared for properly, right? So that was a huge blessing to me as a working mother. So that, and then just I think the day to day was always about thinking what is good for the like it's about the whole, like about the family, like what works for the family, what helps the family. I had a big picture of this ideal, right? That I was chasing, this ideal family, this ideal, like just the kids being healthy, happy, everything working together, peaceful.

SPEAKER_06 8:05

Obviously, I know the end of the story, but yeah, I loved how you guys came on and normalized or were trying to normalize the conversation about polygamy and plural marriage. Yeah. And you guys did such a good job. And I was actually talking to my friends before this, and they were like, oh, I remember it's just seemed like everyone loved these wives. It was all about the wives. It wasn't necessarily about the husband and the harmony. Yeah. And of course we know now. But what was that like to have the cameras on you right away? Your kids were young. And I know you were navigating things at that point.

SPEAKER_07 8:43

I think we really did start. We went public because we felt like the narrative needed to be a little bit corrected, right? Because it was the train wrecks that were making the news. And there was a real problem in the culture with the secrecy because of all the persecution and stuff that had happened through the years. So we went public for that. And honestly, we were our true selves. We were never scripted. We just lived our life and they happened to catch it. And so what you saw was really what was going on. It was all very lots of complicated relationships are complicated. And when you have that many levels of relationships, it's even more complicated. And we tried to be very honest about some of those challenges. So I think what I mean, really who we were was what you saw. And everybody grows and changes, and families change and kids grow up. And I think like every other family ever, we had our changes. We changed, we evolved, we had changes of opinion or how things, like ideas about how things should go.

SPEAKER_06 9:45

In my mind, you were always the sensible wife, the stable wife, the not so jealous wife, maybe boring, maybe boring.

SPEAKER_07 9:53

I was maybe like not so exciting. But it worked for you. Yeah, no, like I mean, I never really needed to spend the energy. I realized early on, like I knew what I had signed up for when I married into the Cody's family. I chose the way of life. I was not raised in it. I chose it. I knew what I was signing up for. I signed up for this great vision of what we wanted to create. And I had to learn early on how to deal with some of those emotions. One thing that living in this way does, you do learn to sort of put away a lot of your individual self. Like it's about, you become, it's like self-improvement on steroids. Like it's really fast. Like I had to really look at my emotions, I had to really look at my thoughts and figure out what was serving me. I had to realize that I had true value. Jealousy comes when you feel like you're not enough or you're not being treated fairly or you think somebody's better than you. And when you realize that you have, you're pretty great. You're okay in your own right. And you don't need to, I mean, I'm an orange, she's an apple, you know, I don't have to be an apple or whatever. You know what I mean? I can be who I am and embrace who I am. And when I learned that, that was really key because A, it helped my self-esteem, it helped my self-image, and it really kind of helped get me over some of those harder emotions that people get stuck in.

SPEAKER_06 11:21

In my mind, I think it could be a beautiful utopia, just having this being surrounded by women who have the same mission, who want to help each other, who love each other's children. But the one thing I think would throw a wrench into it is this jealousy because we're all sharing this one man. You never seem jealous, though, I have to say.

SPEAKER_07 11:42

Oh, I definitely had my moments for sure. Do you know what I mean? And like when we first started to be public, I had already been married to Cody for like 15 or 16, 17 years, something like that. So we'd already been together for a long time. Yes, of course, we're all I honestly felt like I was pursuing that ideal, right? That's what I wanted. I wanted to create that. And I think we all did, but we're human, right? And so we had those human moments. And I wish I would have understood some of the things I understand now, because I would have totally navigated those relationship hiccups differently. But we just did the best we could. And we really all did have the ideal. We wanted to raise the children as brothers and sisters, one family, just with this whole loving universe kind of feel to it.

SPEAKER_06 12:28

Just the idea of doing all this. Would you do it now with the tools you have now?

SPEAKER_07 12:34

Yeah, I mean, like I felt really called. I really felt the spiritual calling to join Cody's family. It was definitely something I knew I was supposed to do. And I don't regret anything that we did because our children have turned out so beautiful and we have this great family unit, right? I feel like we accomplished an amazing thing with the kids. I wish that like we didn't even have the internet. I don't even know. If we would have had the internet or social media, maybe we'd have been different. Because like we just had no tools. We had no way to resolve our conflicts. We couldn't go seek counseling because it would be like, well, your lifestyle is the problem. And we're like, well, yeah, maybe, but we want to live this way. So like I think that the conversation around relationship dynamics and mental health and emotional wellness has come light years, right? In the last 15 years, even since we started the show.

SPEAKER_06 13:25

Your platform that you built, I know that there's probably a lot of messages and it's shifted over the years, but has that been worth it or the scrutiny? Because I know there must have been a lot of scrutiny along the way.

SPEAKER_07 13:39

Yeah, there is. There's always scrutiny. And I think, again, it was one of those things like I had to realize that it was an opinion. And I didn't necessarily have to take their opinion as fact. Like it wasn't necessarily true, it was just an opinion, you know, and I think it was worth it. I do, I really do. And like I still get scrutiny, I still get lots of comments and naysayers, right? And I think you just have to kind of go back to who you know you are at your core and just show up every day like that.

SPEAKER_06 14:10

You are such a wonderful mom. And I know Maddie and you are living your best life right now. And Savannah is just beautiful, a beautiful young woman. And the boys do regret that choice with their children in the spotlight, or have they said anything to that, Mom, I wish we never did this?

SPEAKER_07 14:28

No, I feel like honestly, and I've talked to them a lot, we talk about this a lot at length. Like it gave them a lot of opportunities that we would not have been able to give them. And now they've all chosen at different times. Some of them have completely stepped away from the limelight. Some have stepped away and come back in and then stepped away again. And we always, it's always up to them, really, what they want to do or participate in. One thing that I always really loved about the group that we were working with when we were producing the show is they always respected the boundaries with the kids. We always protected the kids as far as like maintaining their school schedules and maintaining all the extracurricular stuff they wanted to do. We wanted to have their life stay as normal as possible, right? And they were always so good to work with us. We never felt like we had to sacrifice anything with the kids.

SPEAKER_05 15:20

Summer's loose schedule is gone. Now it's earlier alarms, pad calendars, and even more on my plate. But what's on my plate are the daily tasks that needs to be done that leads me towards my goals and my dreams. So I can't abandon them. I turn to AG1. AG1 helps to maintain my energy, support my gut health, and it supports my immune health, which is so important to me. AG1 is clinically shown to support your gut health and fill in common nutrient gaps. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription with ordering AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com slash obsess.

SPEAKER_04 16:14

Planning for the future? State Farm Life Insurance can help protect those you love with flexible coverage, options for your budget, and the ability to adjust your policy as needs change. State Farm can help you live more confidently. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

SPEAKER_06 16:30

You are sharing kids with three other mothers. Do you feel because I wonder about this? So if I had stepkids, would I love them the same? Do you feel like it is the same as the ones that you gave birth to? Because I know McKelty is close too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 16:46

Yeah, no, I love them. I love the kids the same. Like I, I mean, there is a little bit something different when they're your biological children. But I love Peyton, I love Aspen, I love McKelty, I love Isabel, I love Trulie, I love them all as if they're my own. I think of them the same. Like when I'm thinking about birthday presents or Christmas presents or getting them all together for the holidays, they are naturally just there. I can't think of it as different.

SPEAKER_06 17:14

Wow. Okay, so I'm hoping that if I ever have stepkids that I will be as like you. You think that there'd be some favoritism and just being in the spotlight. No, I was there.

SPEAKER_07 17:26

I was there when they were born, right? Oh, that's true. But yeah, they kind of came along as bonus children. That's what I like to call them. It's like my bonus kids. I think there's that. I was just there from the whole time, for the whole time.

SPEAKER_06 17:38

And you seem so easy to get along with. The thought of living my life for got 20 seasons out loud scares me because I feel like people would find all those little dark secrets. But you shared so many, like I'm thinking about your health journey. Yeah. That has been so incredible and inspiring. Did you get a lot of love for that, or are there other things people climb onto?

SPEAKER_07 18:02

Yeah, like I mean, it's both. I mean, I think you get both, right? Overwhelmingly, the support is there. I get a lot of good positive feedback. But I mean, there's always the people that just want to make noise or be mean or whatever. From the very, very beginning, I was very sensitive to that. It was very hard. And then I think you sort of get used to where you're like, okay, well, that's an opinion. Thanks. I don't necessarily need to internalize that, but I'm sorry your life is so miserable that you have to come on and make my give an opinion about my life. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 18:32

So that's when you know you make it when you have trolls, right? That people care enough.

SPEAKER_07 18:37

I maybe. I mean, I've heard that. I guess like you have the good and the bad. It means you're making enough of an impact. And really, when we first went public, it was really scary for us. We were worried about the law coming after us. I remember not sleeping for like weeks before the premiere of the show. And I had this little note in my file at work that if somehow they came to my work about what I wanted my children to have to happen with my children, we were so afraid. But we felt so strongly that somebody needed to raise their hand and be like, hey, we're not all like what you see in the news that we're normal. We're normal people. And honestly, throughout the history of what everybody has been witnessing with our family, it's normal. Families go through all kinds of changes. And what we've gone through is not really abnormal. Yeah. It's just exaggerated because there's so many more of us, I think.

SPEAKER_06 19:28

No, I I love that. You went through, I would imagine, your darkest time in your life when Garrison passed. And I met you probably a month after, and I'm like, how is this woman so strong? Yes, I know.

SPEAKER_07 19:41

I think I think we started right about that time. I think I had to even put you on hold at the very beginning. So Garrison was very hard. He really struggled. He was really struggling with addiction and mental health prior to his death. And in some regards, I felt like he was finally at peace. You know what I mean? That didn't really help the situation, but I did feel sort of a sense of relief that he was finally at peace. But, you know, we now we talk about him. We say, oh, well, Garrison would make that joke or Garrison would do that. Like we talk about him like he's here still. Like he's very much present in our conversations. He's very much present in everything that we do as a family. And then we also, too, have become so much more aware of the benefit or the importance of checking in on mental health, like really asking the questions for the people that you love. You just don't assume we ask those questions. We talk about mental health. We talk about what needs to maybe happen or change. And we have real conversations about what's going on with us, with each of us, right? We're very open now when we're struggling or when something's going on. And I think that was huge for us to be able to talk about it, not just on a surface level like you do in families. I mean, your mom might know more than your siblings, or your siblings might know more than your mom, but we talk about it very openly now, mental health and all those things.

SPEAKER_06 21:05

Now, you tackle the taboo topics for sure, right? Polygamy to mental health, but mental health needs to be normalized as well.

SPEAKER_07 21:14

I think we've done a big disservice. I think it's because it doesn't quantify into some neat little, like it doesn't have a symptoms list. You have this symptom, this isn't this symptom. Well, this is the problem, right? Mental health is so individual. And I think it's important to understand the individual when you're talking in that realm.

SPEAKER_06 21:32

And we become so good at masking, masking our problems or covering it up.

SPEAKER_07 21:37

Oh yes. Because it's not cool. It's not good. It's not acceptable, right? We all want to look like we're we've got it all together and we're perfect and everything is amazing.

SPEAKER_06 21:46

Well, if anything's beautiful, that Garrison's legacy is exponential now because of the platform his family has been on. So many people can learn lessons and celebrate Garrison's life. So that I would say is maybe uh I feel like that has helped.

SPEAKER_07 22:05

That's been a comfort to me. And it's so funny. I was just last week, he was a big supporter of the Humane Society in Little Flagstaff. And I just went to this dedication. They dedicated a whole room to him. He's had a room there, the Garrison room that was the cat adoption room. And they just did a formal celebration, right, or an opening of his room because his legacy there has helped, has funded so many adoptions. Anyway, it's kind of off topic. But I'm just like really proud that his legacy is so much more than just even mental health. You know what I mean? So, yes, mental health. And I think, if anything, I got so many messages after he died with people that had had similar situations, or thank you. We're now talking about this with our kids. Like, I I felt like the impact was huge.

SPEAKER_06 22:52

I thought the impact was huge. Making sense of something that doesn't make sense. It's a beautiful tribute to him and you as a mother. Yeah. And so this is where in your timeline of being a sister wife, stuff started to unravel. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 23:10

Yeah. I think I was always very committed. And maybe the marriage wasn't always happy. We had our ups and our downs for sure. Like any marriage, like any relationship. And I think as we all as adults started to make changes, it became more apparent to me that maybe I was a little more committed to the whole family than or I don't know. I'm trying to think about how to put this.

SPEAKER_06 23:38

You believed more than everybody else.

SPEAKER_07 23:40

Yeah. Well, I think I was really about I still was about the big family picture. And as the relationship started to unravel, it felt like we kind of lost our way there. Like we no longer really were tracking the big family. I don't think everybody was really wanting that anymore. And things changed, right? And so for me, I was absolutely committed to staying because as long I was so worried about the kids and their father, like I didn't want to damage that relationship in any way. Because when the kids were younger, Cody was such a great dad. Like he was all about the kids. He was such a wonderful hands-on dad. And when that changed, then all of a sudden I started to be able to pay more attention to what my emotional needs were. And I didn't necessarily want to stay in the marriage. I was staying because of the kids. But when it became apparent that the kids didn't necessarily need that, that structure to stay in place to feel like their dad was part of the family. Again, it gave me permission to do something different.

SPEAKER_06 24:40

I love that. And I don't know if you want me to bring this up, but I was like, cheering you on the fight, you and Cody's fight, the Christmas tree in your apartment. Are you horrified by that?

SPEAKER_07 24:51

It's so funny because that was so real. And I'm like, oh God, the film crew was here. Don't even mean because it was like, it was so real. It was happening in the moment. And I'm like, oh shit, that was on camera. Do you know what I mean? Excuse my mouth. And it was so common. No. But I was like, oh, because it was like, it was so real. And it was so like I don't get angry like that. When I do, it's real hot. I'm pretty even keel, but then when I get hot, I get pretty hot, you know. So that was real. That was all unscripted. That was completely like. I love that. When we were done, Clayton slammed the door. And I just was sitting there and the crew was just really quietly leaving. And they're like, sorry, sorry. And I'm like, it's fine, it's fine. You know what I mean? So there's a behind the scenes for you. The crew was like, holy crap, what did we just see?

SPEAKER_06 25:34

But yeah, it was a real thing. So after so many years, you're forgetting the cameras are there, but I tell you, most of women kind were cheering you on at that point.

SPEAKER_07 25:44

They're like, I think I finally just I didn't filter at all. And I get really mad, I lose my filter.

SPEAKER_06 25:51

So that was good though. That was real. That makes you real. And that's what I mean, at if you've been married and I've been married 20 years, you feel come on, you're lying if you've never fought like that before with your spouse.

SPEAKER_07 26:03

Right, right. And I think you always are trying to do what's good to try to communicate your needs in a logical, reasonable way and a productive way, right? But no, everything had just I just had it. I just had it. So that was good. And they kept replaying it over and over and over and every I know. I see it all the time, and I'm like, oh well. I mean, you know what? It's I I'm okay. Cause look, I've always been pretty authentic. I've never pretended to be something I wasn't. And that was pretty much me. That was a piece of me. That just doesn't show very often.

SPEAKER_06 26:36

So I I mean, I love it. I loved it. I could connect with it. And that's the funny part. When we're messy, people connect with when we're messy.

SPEAKER_07 26:44

I think so too. I know I identify with people who are not perfect, like the aesthetic isn't all dialed in or whatever. Like I like real people who are doing real things.

SPEAKER_06 26:54

That's amazing. And the real things that happened to you as well, we're moving into that divorce. Was there a trigger? I mean, I kind of know the answer because I've seen it on the show. I uh by the way, I've watched every single episode. But the trigger that you're like, screw this, I'm out of here, and I'm really out of here this time because you left once before, I remember. This was the real time.

SPEAKER_07 27:16

I have, right. I have. I did leave before, and then I was like, okay, I really need to go back because the kids were little. I really felt like the kids needed our dad, and I felt like we could just work it out. But I think it was a culmination, right? Cody's weird rules about COVID and his insistence on obedience and loyalty instead of just love and respect and loving your kids. That was really hard for me. The alienation of the children. And so when that finally happened, I was like, why am I here? I tried as best I could to make it work and stick around. But at the end, there wasn't anything to hold on to. Cody was actively pushing his children away. And I thought, why am I here? You know what I mean? And so I think that's what made this break more permanent. Because I was sticking around because I felt like the integrity of the family was important for the kids. And when that no longer was there, I was like, okay, I guess I don't really need to stay here. I don't need to be committed here anymore.

SPEAKER_06 28:13

Did you feel that it became more patriarchy? Because I never saw that in the early days, but it kind of seems No, it wasn't. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 28:22

So funny because Cody was not, like, I would not have married the guy that I divorced, right? The guy that I left. I would not have married him. I would not have married that permutation. But look, we all grow and change and evolve. We do. In the very beginning, he was such a great dad. He was really such a great dad through many years. Something happened for him. He had some big personality changes. He turned 50. COVID happened. He had this wife that was all about, I feel like was really just willing to be who he wanted her to be. I don't know. There was a lot of things. Who knows all the pieces, but there was some definite changes that happened. I just didn't even hardly recognize the guy, really, that I left that I finally ended the marriage with compared to who I was before.

SPEAKER_06 29:07

And you I'm putting words in your mouth, you're still a proponent for the lifestyle, I believe, or no?

SPEAKER_07 29:13

I'm not interested in living it. I don't feel the calling anymore, but I feel like if people feel that calling, they should. And I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say, look, the best way to manage all of that, because they've tried forever to put people in jail and and curtail it, I think you just make it legal. Make those women have an ability to make have a claim on those guys' assets. I don't think you'd see many people marrying plurally anymore. You know what I mean? I feel like if you legalized it, it would go away. But look, there's many, there's many men out there with multiple baby mamas or whatever they call them, right? It's not a weird thing. It happens. I just think you need to give, in all those situations, give women the rights to that guy's assets and everything. And I think a lot of that would probably like come on, all you gotta do is empower the women, give them a choice. And I think a lot of that would solve itself.

SPEAKER_06 30:04

I love that. On the opposite end, so I'm interviewing Dr. Christine Marie from The False Prophet. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that is probably the best reason why you guys did the show because you were not F O D S. Yeah. But those women, I'm not quite sure how to manage that sort of situation.

SPEAKER_07 30:25

No, here's the thing. I feel like, again, if those women had had the ability to be legally married, have a claim on their husband's income, they couldn't have been passed around or trafficked. I just feel like I think in any society, and here I'm just gonna get on my soapbox for a minute, in any society, if you empower the women, I think everything turns out a little bit better. Education, choices, ability to have claim on a husband or a boyfriend's assets, if there's children involved, I'm all for that. Let's go.

SPEAKER_06 30:54

And you were the finance guru in the family, supposedly.

SPEAKER_07 30:59

Isn't it so funny? I don't know if I was. I had an accounting degree. I always worked in that kind of a realm, like then having to deal with that. But I ended up sort of as the default bookkeeper because nobody else really wanted to do it, and I knew it had to be done.

SPEAKER_06 31:12

Were you ever looking at those books and like, how come Mary gets to have this huge house? Or how come Robin bites all the dolls?

SPEAKER_07 31:19

Well, I never really knew all that because like we all sort of just took a distribution or whatever, but I didn't know what was going on in each individual household. But I have joked that I would wait till the very last minute and I would have a big glass of wine and I would sit down and do all the books to get ready to send to the accountant. Because I didn't do the books, I just sent them to our accountant because I it just always made me so crazy. Like it was such a I just ugh, I just hated it every year.

SPEAKER_06 31:42

I can't imagine. So now we're divorced. Now we are thinking about Chanel. And I'm not sure when I met you. I think it was probably a year or two. You've been divorced a long time, actually. It seems like shorter on TV.

SPEAKER_07 31:56

Uh yeah, no, like I had to really look back and figure out what year it was. So it's been like five years. It had been a couple of years by the time Garrison died. So yeah. It's been a few years for now.

SPEAKER_06 32:08

Is it weird to see yourself on TV and them rehashing your backstory all the time? Or is that you don't watch it?

SPEAKER_05 32:18

Summer's loose schedule is gone. Now it's earlier alarms, pad calendars, and even more on my plate. But what's on my plate are the daily tasks that needs to be done that leads me towards my goals and my dreams. So I can't abandon them. I turn to AG1. AG1 helps to maintain my energy, support my gut health, and it supports my immune health, which is so important to me. AG1 is clinically shown to support your gut health and fill in common nutrient gaps. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription with ordering AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkAG1.com slash obsess.

SPEAKER_09 33:13

Support for this podcast comes from Progressive, America's number one boat insurer. We've all made mistakes on the water, but there's one mistake you shouldn't make being uninsured. With Progressive Boat Insurance, you can choose coverage for most mistakes you or other boaters could make, helping you float carefree all season long. Quote today: Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, number one rating based on 2024 filings with State Departments of Insurance.

SPEAKER_07 33:37

I don't watch it. I don't, I don't watch it. I'm like, I know what happened. I don't necessarily need to rewatch that.

SPEAKER_06 33:44

But so I mean, you made a huge transformation, a huge leap. You were always looking to better yourself. And so you start this coaching business. That, by the way, is amazing. Drive with Janelle. What was Onus? How did that start? And how is it going right now?

SPEAKER_07 34:02

Do you know? I actually stumbled into a coach. And so I actually got coaching. And I thought this was the best thing ever happened. So I decided that I would become I wanted to get the coaching certification. And I love it. I love really simply helping women see what they're thinking. We all have so much power when we understand what's going on in our heads, right? We can make choices, we can make changes, but we have all these little thoughts that float around in there that we don't realize are there. And so sometimes just helping people see that it's really helpful.

SPEAKER_06 34:35

And then living your best life. I mean, your cross-country trek to North Carolina, that is incredible. And I know you're in your new house. Tell us all about that right now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 34:46

So it's so funny. Once upon a time, my whole goal was I was going to sell all my belongings and become a nomad. I was going to get a trailer. I thought that was going to be really fun. I had friends that had done that. And then Maddie started talking about that they wanted a farm. And I'm like, oh wait, so do I. You know what I mean? And so, so we were looking around everywhere and we found some beautiful a beautiful piece of property in North Carolina. It was very interesting working with two people, Maddie and Caleb, who wanted the same thing I did that wasn't no more longer the community, the bureaucracy. And we got it happening. So we have built our houses. We've started the beginning of the farm. And yeah, I'm living my dream. I go out every morning and I weed the beds, and I'm like, this is the best thing ever.

SPEAKER_06 35:25

And what is it like not to have to worry about any wives or husbands? I mean, of course, or children always.

SPEAKER_07 35:33

Yeah, no, my life is so peaceful. I'm so fulfilled. I'm so peaceful. I feel so excited because there's so much possibility in front of me. And I just am excited to see what comes next, right? I have this whole brand new life that I get to now live. I raise children, my oldest child is 31. I'm like, oh, okay, so I've raised children for 30 years, and now I have another 30 years because Savannah's now out of the house. She's at the university. I have 30 years now to do something completely different. That's just me. And I'm sure a hell of a lot wiser than I was at 20. So, you know.

SPEAKER_06 36:11

Did you imagine this 30 years ago, 35 years ago, just living this lifestyle though?

SPEAKER_07 36:17

No. I didn't ever imagine that my marriage would end. Our religious beliefs are that you marry forever, for eternity. And I never really thought that it would end. I just figured we'd grow together, just be sort of that normal grandma and grandpa thing. But I really, really like what I've got going on now. It's way more exciting than what I ever envisioned.

SPEAKER_06 36:37

Wow. And Emma was trying to push you into start dating, is that I I don't think I would ever date again if I got divorced.

SPEAKER_07 36:43

No, like honestly, I really just know. The dating world now is so weird. It's just weird. I don't get the whole app thing. I don't get the whole hookup culture. I don't get it all. You know what I mean? So I'm like, I'm really happy. I'm so happy. Like just I'm really happy with my life. If it's meant to be. I sort of feel like if it happens organically, okay. But I'm not looking for it for sure.

SPEAKER_06 37:08

Yeah, if it happens, it happens. I totally get that. I think after being in a relationship so long, it's so incredible to get to understand who you are as a human being. It's kind of nice to just be mean. To just be mean. Yeah. There are so many women, at least that I talk to, they're scared to leave. They're scared for change. They're scared to start a second chapter because everything is so familiar. What would be your best advice for them in terms of embracing that change? Because you went through a lot of change, a lot of change in a short amount of time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 37:43

I think your brain will always look for evidence to support whatever you think. So I think you start to explore the idea of what would it look like. And you might end up staying. Who knows? But I think you open up your mind. Don't be afraid of those thoughts. Examine them, look at them, start to think about them. And your brain will help you find evidence either way and open up possibilities for you to explore. It's really scary, right? We get scared because it's unknown, it's unfamiliar. But you got to kind of be bold and be like, okay, so what if I did leave? What if I did make this change? What if I do go back to work? What if I and just kind of explore that thought because your brain will show you. I mean, your thoughts will show you the path. And like you don't have to take any action. Just think about it. Just think about it. And know that no matter what, you will always survive. You will always come out on the other side, one way or the other. You always will. And like you have trial and error, you're gonna go backwards a couple of steps and go forward. There's always that give and take. But you know what? The living in that place of growth, struggling, all that is the highest quality of life that you can have. I think it's hard on your soul. I think it's like it's you're stagnant, right? You're not growing. And so I think to stay in that place of growth, which is challenging and hard, it's the best life you can live.

SPEAKER_06 39:06

That's incredible. I know so many of you listening to Janelle's voice right now need someone like her in your life. So everything about Janelle will be in the show notes. She is not only incredible, she is wise, she has lived the life. I want all of you to take a moment and just think about that because change is hard. Just think, absorb it, and you don't have to make a decision right now. We are obsessed with Janelle Brown here, and I hope you love Janelle as much as I do. Because she's amazing. If you loved her, please rate review and subscribe to this podcast because we want to bring more Janelle's out. We want to bring Janelle back, actually.

SPEAKER_07 39:41

But I would love it, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:43

We love Janelle so much. She's amazing, inspiring, and if there's another season, I don't know, 21. I'm crossing my fingers that we'll get to see Janelle again on TLC. So thank you, Janelle. Love you so much.

SPEAKER_09 40:07

Ever notice how life's best stories don't happen in your living room? They happen on the open road, out on the water, or parked under the stars. At Progressive, they get that you want to focus on the experience, not worry about the what-ifs. That's why they offer quality insurance designed for your ride, whether that's a boat, RV, or motorcycle. Adventure with confidence. Visit progressive.com and see how easy it is to protect your favorite way to get away. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, not available in DC. Prices vary based on how you buy.

SPEAKER_08 40:37

Living in Bullhead City, Kingman, or Lake Havisu means one thing all year long: sun and plenty of it. That kind of exposure adds up on your skin, which is why a real skin check matters more here than almost anywhere else. Thomas Dermatology's board certified providers treat it all. Sun damage and skin cancer, including bone surgery, plus rashes, rosacea, and acne for your whole family. Schedule online at ThomasDerm.com or call 928-377-4540.

SPEAKER_01 41:07

There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. Stand still, not a chance. You're a lifelong learner who's come this far. Now we're here to help you keep going further. Capella University, what can you do? Visit Capella.edu to learn more.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

This January, Bernackle Fighting Championship takes over the ocean. The inaugural Bruce Crew sails from Miami to the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian duel. Three straight days with full-deck barknuckle fights in the Caribbean, festive parties, speech events, teachings, cigars, tequila tastings, and non-stop action. The lineup reveals coming soon. Cabins are disappearing fast, and the prices won't stay this low. Preserve your spot with just $200 down at BKFA.com.

SPEAKER_03 41:53

At QVC, fall shopping is more than just checking out. It's discovering the brands you love across beauty, fashion, home, and culinary. All in one place. Whether you're getting ready for crisp mornings, cozy nights, or everyday moments, QVC has what you need for the season ahead. With brands like Laura Geller, Philosophy, Ninja, and so many more. Shop now at QVC.com.

SPEAKER_02 42:22

What a great conversation. What I love about Janelle's story is that it reminds us that starting over doesn't mean you failed. Sometimes it simply means you finally gave yourself permission to ask, What do I want now? When a marriage or a long-term relationship ends, it can be easy to feel lost. So much of our identity can become wrapped up in being a wife, a mother, a caregiver, or simply the person everyone else depends on. And then suddenly you have to figure out who you are without all of those expectations. But you still get to decide what comes next. You can rediscover who you are. You can rebuild your confidence. You can create new dreams. You can open yourself up to new possibilities that you may never have imagined. And Janelle's story is still being written. With the new season of Sister Wise premiering on October 4th on TLC, we'll get to see much more of Janelle stepping into this next chapter, including dating, new relationships, and discovering what life can look like after leaving the life she knew for so many years. And isn't that what starting over is really about? You don't have to have the entire next chapter figured out before you turn the page. I know firsthand that rebuilding your life doesn't happen overnight. It happens one decision, one boundary, one lesson, and sometimes one brave little step at a time. So I want to leave you with this question. If you stopped worrying about who you used to be, or who everyone else expected you to be, what would you want the next version of your life to look like? Maybe it's time to find out. A special thank you to the Get Obsessed Podcast for allowing me to share this conversation with Janelle Brown and thank you for spending this time with me. I'm Coach Deborah, and remember, you may have been bent by what you have been through, but you are not broken. And until next time, keep writing your next chapter.