Divorce Recovery Made Practical: Resetting Triggers and Reclaiming Identity

Welcome to another episode of Bent Not Broken. Heartbreak and trauma may feel like the end of your story, but here it's the beginning of a bold new chapter. I'm your host, Coach Deborah Griffiths, and this is the space where women rise, rebuild, and rediscover their purpose. Remember this truth. You are bent, not broken. Welcome back to this bent not broken bonus coaching session. Today I want to take you deeper into some of the insights shared in my conversation with Melinda Perry, an award-winning leader, strengths coach, best-selling author, and the founder of Happy Girls Don't Do That. Melinda's story wasn't just a story of divorce. It was a story of losing herself, rediscovering her identity, reclaiming her power, and stepping into a version of herself she never thought possible. And today I want to break down the lessons you can apply to your own healing journey. So let's get started. Insight number one. Those gut feelings, the isolation, unpredictable meanness, secrets, and lies. As she said something that every woman recovering from emotional abuse needs to hear. They don't. They just get bigger. Your takeaway? You're not weak for missing the signs. You were helpful. You were committed. You were trying. But now you were aware. And awareness is the birthplace of healing. Insight number two. Manipulation attacks your identity. Melinda shared how emotional manipulation made her feel inadequate, reactive, and not enough. Even though she had always been strong, adaptable, creative, and strategic. When someone chips away at your confidence long enough, you begin to believe the lies. Your takeaway? If you're feeling lost after divorce, it's not because you're broken. It's because someone taught you to doubt your worth. Now it's time to relearn who you are. Insight number three. Healing happens in small pieces. Melinda didn't just wake up one morning suddenly whole. She said she had to find herself again in little chunks. Through journaling, gratitude, reconnecting with her son, kickboxing, and slowly listening to the people who loved her. Your takeaway? You don't have to find all of yourself today. Just take one small step, one shift, one truth. Each piece builds on the next. Insight number four. Delete delete. A tool for emotional triggers. This was one of my favorite tools Melinda shared. Anytime a trigger surfaced, an old memory, a smell, a song, a location, she would just say delete, delete. Then she immediately shifted to her sensory rich positive thought, like puppy kisses. Over time her brain began choosing the gratitude instead of the trauma. Your takeaway? Triggers don't have to control you. You can retrain your internal response one gentle correction at a time. Try this. Delete, delete, replace gratitude. It's simple, it's powerful, and it works. Insight number five. Strength is not what you think it is. Before her training, Melinda believed strengths meant discipline, endurance, and making everything look perfect. But the true strength came from knowing who she actually was. Her real strengths, her real identity, her real wiring. Your takeaway? Strength doesn't mean surviving abuse. Strength is choosing you. Strength is honoring your identity, not shrinking it. Strength is rebuilding with intention, not reaction. Insight number six. Your future self is more powerful than you know. There's a version of you on the other side of this divorce who is braver, more confident, and more self-aware than the woman who entered the relationship. And as Melinda said so beautifully, your version is so much more impactful and beautiful than what he ever gave you credit for. Your takeaway, you are not moving toward a lesser life. You are stepping into the life you are always meant for. So here's the final coaching challenge. Rediscover your strengths. This week I want you to write down three strengths you had before your relationship, three strengths you developed during it, and three strengths you want to grow now. You might be surprised by what you discover. You are not starting from scratch. You are starting from wisdom. Thank you for joining this bonus coaching session. If today's insight spoke to you, share this episode with someone who needs hope, clarity, and strength. And remember, happy girls don't accept abuse. Happy girls don't shrink. And happy girls don't apologize for who they are. You are bent, not broken, and your story isn't over. Thank you for listening to today's episode of Bent Not Broken. I hope that this episode reminded you that even through life's toughest moments, you are bent, not broken. If this message inspired you, please share, rate, review, and subscribe, as it helps us reach more women who are ready to rise and rebuild. And until next time, keep living bold and walking in your purpose.