Challenging the Funnel Myth | RR233

Janice Porter: 00:00:01

Hi, everyone, and welcome to relationships rule.

Janice Porter: 00:00:05

My guest today is coming from sunny California. And I'm very

Janice Porter: 00:00:09

excited to talk to her. Her name is Kara Steinman. And Kara and I

Janice Porter: 00:00:14

were introduced through LinkedIn through a podcast agency. And

Janice Porter: 00:00:20

often I'm not super impressed when that happens, but I got an

Janice Porter: 00:00:24

inkling when I saw what Kara was all about. And I know you're

Janice Porter: 00:00:27

gonna love it because she thinks just the way I do. So first of

Janice Porter: 00:00:30

all, welcome to the show, Kara.

Cara Steinmann: 00:00:32

Thank you. I'm

Janice Porter: 00:00:33

happy to be here. My pleasure. So tell my audience

Janice Porter: 00:00:37

please, what you do what your thing is what you're all about.

Janice Porter: 00:00:41

And they'll know right away that why I said what I said, my

Cara Steinmann: 00:00:44

jam, you want to know my jam. I help women

Cara Steinmann: 00:00:48

entrepreneurs, build relationships, preferably

Cara Steinmann: 00:00:50

professional relationships that make it easier for them to do

Cara Steinmann: 00:00:53

business. So strategic relationships.

Janice Porter: 00:00:56

And how do you do that?

Cara Steinmann: 00:00:58

I do one to one consulting, I help women figure

Cara Steinmann: 00:01:01

out who they are. So they can align with the right people and

Cara Steinmann: 00:01:03

that sort of thing. But I primarily build communities

Cara Steinmann: 00:01:07

online, that help women come together and build really deep

Cara Steinmann: 00:01:12

meaningful relationships that keep them well connected. Yeah.

Janice Porter: 00:01:15

Which is like music to my ears, because one of

Janice Porter: 00:01:20

the things I saw in the information that was sent to me

Janice Porter: 00:01:22

about you was that you believe that funnels are not necessary

Janice Porter: 00:01:30

relationships are that's a different way that you said it.

Janice Porter: 00:01:33

But it is essentially the same thing. And I couldn't agree

Janice Porter: 00:01:37

more. And so, you know, we've been in a in a society lately

Janice Porter: 00:01:42

where everything's online. And so everyone thinks that we have

Janice Porter: 00:01:46

to have these funnels to bring in business. Talk to me about

Janice Porter: 00:01:50

that myth in your eyes.

Cara Steinmann: 00:01:53

Gosh, I think that, that it's really easy to

Cara Steinmann: 00:01:56

feel like we can write some content and put it out there in

Cara Steinmann: 00:01:59

this funnel, and that we won't have to do anything, we won't

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:02

have to actually interact, but our words and our content and

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:05

all of these things, all of these things that we put out,

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:08

there they are. They're reflecting us, and they are

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:11

going to build the relationships that we will eventually probably

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:15

have in person. Yeah. And so so it's not like it's not as

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:19

passive as we would like to think it is. And at one point I

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:22

really liked. I really liked inbound marketing, the idea of

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:26

inbound, because you weren't, it wasn't pushy, it was very

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:28

magnetic. And we could put our stuff out there and just wait

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:31

for people to want us and not have to engage in any way until

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:34

till they got there. But I think that we're at a time when trust

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:39

is so scarce, and people are lonely. And we visibility relies

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:45

on us having allies, it really relies on us having deep

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:50

meaningful connections that somebody wants to promote you

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:54

through. And that requires investing in other people making

Cara Steinmann: 00:02:59

the time to do that requires being invested in other people.

Janice Porter: 00:03:02

And do you notice that and I couldn't agree more?

Janice Porter: 00:03:05

And do you notice that? That they're still that you have to

Janice Porter: 00:03:10

actually teach? Or train certain people that, that in building

Janice Porter: 00:03:18

relationships, you really do need to focus on showing an

Janice Porter: 00:03:22

interest in the other person, I believe that we still have to

Janice Porter: 00:03:26

teach that to some people. Because for different reasons,

Janice Porter: 00:03:29

like either they're nervous, or they're, they're unsure. So they

Janice Porter: 00:03:32

start to talk about themselves, or they don't know what kind of

Janice Porter: 00:03:35

questions to ask whether they're just not comfortable. And with

Janice Porter: 00:03:39

that, with that process, but it does work. Yeah,

Cara Steinmann: 00:03:43

I think you're absolutely right. There's a

Cara Steinmann: 00:03:46

couple of things going on there too. You're probably right about

Cara Steinmann: 00:03:48

the nervousness, people. But there's this business idea in

Cara Steinmann: 00:03:53

business that we have to be busy that we can't talk about

Cara Steinmann: 00:03:56

personal stuff, there's that kind of line that we've drawn,

Cara Steinmann: 00:03:58

and I don't like it. I don't like that line at all. Because

Cara Steinmann: 00:04:01

the people that I want to wreck I work with people I like and in

Cara Steinmann: 00:04:05

order to know someone to get to like them, I have to know more

Cara Steinmann: 00:04:09

about them than just the service they provide.

Janice Porter: 00:04:12

And yes, so I actually when I'm working with

Janice Porter: 00:04:15

LinkedIn clients, building their profile with them, I talk about

Janice Porter: 00:04:21

trying to in not trying but by about infusing some subtle

Janice Porter: 00:04:26

little things into their profile about their, their personal

Janice Porter: 00:04:30

habits are their hobbies or their interests or some things

Janice Porter: 00:04:34

that they do when they're not working. So that I can tell or

Janice Porter: 00:04:38

they can tell if somebody has actually read their profile. If

Janice Porter: 00:04:42

they find that little thing that maybe they're an avid hiker, or

Janice Porter: 00:04:48

they play soccer in their spare time or whatever or they they

Janice Porter: 00:04:52

you know, were a movie buff or whatever it is that maybe

Janice Porter: 00:04:56

someone looking at their profile had connects to a As a starting

Janice Porter: 00:05:00

point to build rapport, those are the best kinds of things to

Janice Porter: 00:05:03

find out. And yet, I will say now you're, you're younger than

Janice Porter: 00:05:08

I am. And your generation tends to put out more personal things

Janice Porter: 00:05:13

on the other platforms as well. I have a hard time doing that.

Janice Porter: 00:05:17

So there's that there is that fine line for me, but I find

Janice Porter: 00:05:21

with LinkedIn, I can make it work. And and people pay

Janice Porter: 00:05:25

attention if they pay attention, it makes for better starting

Janice Porter: 00:05:31

points for relationships, I think.

Cara Steinmann: 00:05:33

Yeah. And I think being true to who you are,

Cara Steinmann: 00:05:35

that you know, you being less comfortable with the really

Cara Steinmann: 00:05:39

personal open stuff in business, that's who you are and how you

Cara Steinmann: 00:05:43

operate. And you're going to be more comfortable working with

Cara Steinmann: 00:05:45

clients who are more aligned with that level of openness. But

Cara Steinmann: 00:05:49

some people and this could be a temperament thing. There's, you

Cara Steinmann: 00:05:51

know, the ocean ocean test personality tests that looks at

Cara Steinmann: 00:05:55

openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and

Cara Steinmann: 00:05:59

neuroticism. These four

Janice Porter: 00:06:00

traits know that one, yeah. Okay, ocean, that one

Janice Porter: 00:06:04

that the extra

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:05

the openness trait that might might correlate

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:08

with how people act online. And so open, people are going to

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:13

have an easier time working with other open people. And that's

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:16

not to say you can't work with people who are different than

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:18

you. But understanding that they're different from you, is

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:21

different than like, really, you know, when you meet somebody,

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:25

and you just click, it's usually because you've got something in

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:27

common in that way and the way you operate? Right, right,

Janice Porter: 00:06:31

exactly. So how do you do you do any training

Janice Porter: 00:06:34

with your community? Or do you just allow them to, you know, or

Janice Porter: 00:06:39

do you encourage them getting together? Or do you have events

Janice Porter: 00:06:45

online or in person to, to have people network,

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:50

I built the community, I structured it so

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:54

that we would be in a container that felt very safe. And the

Cara Steinmann: 00:06:57

guidelines explicitly say we are in a, we're in a safe container,

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:02

where we need to be vulnerable if we're going to get to know

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:03

each other. And so I do come right out and say that, but then

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:06

we have connection calls and mastermind calls that are all

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:09

very intimate and comfortable. And, and I really connect, I try

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:14

really hard to connect with each new member, one on one at least

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:17

once to help them get connected with other people who are alike

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:21

to them. So that they start building that network quickly.

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:25

And then we have we have the way that it's structured is

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:28

structured is very casual. And we have very intimate

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:32

conversations in there about things other than work. Ah,

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:35

okay, family, and we have a channel called ADHD all day

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:38

where the neurodivergent people are talking about challenges in

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:41

life and work and family. And then I just launched a purpose

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:45

play shop inside the community, which is a daily prompt to help

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:49

us build emotional intelligence, self awareness and creative

Cara Steinmann: 00:07:52

confidence.

Janice Porter: 00:07:53

Hmm, interesting. Okay. So you have a framework

Janice Porter: 00:07:58

that, and I think that's probably part of what you were

Janice Porter: 00:08:01

just talking about, that you are maybe not that you use to

Janice Porter: 00:08:05

generate referrals? And do you? So do you teach that in your

Janice Porter: 00:08:09

community?

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:10

I do. Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:08:11

it's a little bit about that.

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:13

Yeah, I call it the radical referrals. roadmap.

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:16

And part of that is because the acronym is read our ad. And part

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:20

of it is because it's kind of a radical concept to prioritize

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:23

relationships in business. That's not where we go with it

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:26

naturally, it's very transactional. But I think it

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:29

works really better if we're relational with it. And so the

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:33

three parts of the framework are R stands for remember, we have

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:36

to remember who we are, especially as women, we've been

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:38

conditioned away from a lot of our natural tendencies. And we,

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:42

we maybe compromise our values to be parents and work in

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:45

certain situations. So we have to remember who we are. So that

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:48

because, and there's a great quote, by Brene, brown, she

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:51

says, our ability to connect with other people is only as

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:53

great as our ability to connect with ourselves. So the next step

Cara Steinmann: 00:08:57

in the framework is to align. So we have to remember who we are.

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:00

And then we can align with the right people. And this is about

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:03

values, a lot of it is about values. And you talk, you talked

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:06

about putting little kind of easter eggs in your LinkedIn

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:09

content, maybe on your website that hint at who you are and

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:13

what you care about. And you can do that really easily with

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:15

language. And I'm sure you do. That's what you do your clients

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:18

probably, you know, I can put pictures of yourself on there

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:21

too. But you can also say things like, you can use the words

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:24

connection and freedom and whatever, those are part of my

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:27

values. So use those. And then once you're aligned with those

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:30

people, that's just not enough. I think a lot of people stop

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:32

right there. And they stop with like meeting people and

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:35

connecting with people and they end up with this giant Rolodex,

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:38

that doesn't really benefit them because they haven't gotten to

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:41

the last part, which is D, and that's to deepen the

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:44

relationship. And it's iterative. It goes around and

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:47

around because we're people and we evolve and we learn about

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:49

ourselves. So we're constantly doing all three of these things

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:54

in the, with the hope that we build a really strong strategic

Cara Steinmann: 00:09:59

network of people that We enjoy spending time with and

Cara Steinmann: 00:10:02

connecting with. And that's where we get visibility from.

Cara Steinmann: 00:10:05

And

Janice Porter: 00:10:05

that's also how we build our referral network.

Janice Porter: 00:10:08

Yes, think

Cara Steinmann: 00:10:09

about the word referrals, it just means

Cara Steinmann: 00:10:11

someone's referring, referring to you or referring you, they're

Cara Steinmann: 00:10:15

talking about you behind your back. And what they're saying is

Cara Steinmann: 00:10:18

going to determine how somebody views you. So your visibility

Cara Steinmann: 00:10:22

depends on what people are saying about you, behind your

Cara Steinmann: 00:10:25

back.

Janice Porter: 00:10:27

Yeah, it's an interesting way to say it, I

Janice Porter: 00:10:31

find that that refer that, that referring people or being a

Janice Porter: 00:10:40

connector and referring, bringing people together as part

Janice Porter: 00:10:45

of your network, I think that is really what I love to do. But

Janice Porter: 00:10:49

when I do it, and I don't know, if you do this in your network,

Janice Porter: 00:10:52

maybe that you want to protect the people that you're that you

Janice Porter: 00:10:57

already have that know like and trust with, that are already

Janice Porter: 00:11:00

gone deep enough with it, that there's that trust factor, that

Janice Porter: 00:11:05

before you bring that new person in and say, hey, I want you to

Janice Porter: 00:11:08

to get together, you make sure that you have permission from

Janice Porter: 00:11:12

the, you're a person that's already in your community,

Janice Porter: 00:11:15

before you bring somebody else into them. So you ask them, so

Janice Porter: 00:11:19

you're meeting this new person, either in person or online. And

Janice Porter: 00:11:23

you're, and you're looking for a way to support them, because you

Janice Porter: 00:11:27

like what you've seen and heard so far, but you're not there

Janice Porter: 00:11:30

yet. So you might want to maybe offer something of your own, but

Janice Porter: 00:11:34

you also know they're looking for help with whatever, so you

Janice Porter: 00:11:37

know, someone who can help them. But before you connect them, you

Janice Porter: 00:11:41

check with the other person. And

Cara Steinmann: 00:11:43

I do that if I meet somebody outside of the

Cara Steinmann: 00:11:46

community, and this wasn't intentional, I think this is

Cara Steinmann: 00:11:49

just how it ended up working out for me. If I'm connecting

Cara Steinmann: 00:11:52

someone from inside the rebel community, to someone outside

Cara Steinmann: 00:11:55

the rebel community, I get both parties consent. If I'm

Cara Steinmann: 00:11:59

connecting new members to or existing members who have been

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:03

there for a while to someone else inside the community. Other

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:06

members inside the community I don't I just make a direct

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:09

connection inside the DMS in the community because they're

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:13

everybody's operating with the same assumption that, that if

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:15

I'm introducing you, there's a reason for it. Or, you know,

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:18

there should there's just a feeling and I, I talk a lot

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:21

about that too, because I don't have to have a reason sometimes

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:23

why two people should meet. You just know, just know these. I

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:27

don't know why you guys need to know each other. I just feel

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:29

like you do. And I've had people introduce me before by saying

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:32

that, and it cracks me up because it's always it often

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:35

more often than not ends up being an amazing relationship.

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:38

Yeah, but they couldn't really say why. And that's okay.

Janice Porter: 00:12:41

Yeah, I love that too. Exactly. So tell me how you

Janice Porter: 00:12:45

got into all this? What's your background? What, how did you

Janice Porter: 00:12:48

come to be that entrepreneur that's doing all of this and

Janice Porter: 00:12:51

building a community, I

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:53

came into entrepreneurship, because I'm

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:55

completely unemployable. If you look at my strengths profile,

Cara Steinmann: 00:12:59

and my Colby, Mo, and all of these, you know, tests,

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:03

personality tests and objective ways to look at ourselves, I am

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:06

not a person who is easily fits in a box with a description that

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:11

I keep doing over and over again. So a lot of it is I tried

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:15

to work for other people, and it just didn't work. And so I went

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:17

out on my own. And I did a lot of content writing for a long

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:19

time and a lot of content strategy. And I was drawn to

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:22

that, I think because of the strategy part. But there's also

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:25

a lot of project management, and repent, there's a repetitive

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:29

nature, in content when you're executing on a strategy over and

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:33

over again. And that does not align with me very well. So I

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:37

ended up going through kind of a meltdown during COVID. And had

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:41

to stop working with clients doing retainer work like that,

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:44

because it was really, really draining to me. And I had to

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:47

figure out what I am good at. And that required looking at my

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:50

core values and my personality and my like I said strengths and

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:53

the Colby, Mo and all these tools to kind of objective

Cara Steinmann: 00:13:56

objectively say, Well, what should I be doing? If I what am

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:00

I doing without even being able to help it? And someone pointed

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:04

out to me that I had always worked on referrals. For the

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:07

first 10 years of my content marketing and strategy. career,

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:11

I didn't even have a website, because I was networking and

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:13

building relationships that were strategic, but I didn't realize

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:15

I was doing it. So so the rabbit collective came to me because I

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:20

was doing COVID I kind of start embracing that again. And I

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:23

started connecting with all kinds of people like once you

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:25

turn the fire on something you're good at, it kind of gets

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:28

a little crazy. And so I was meeting all these women online,

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:30

and I couldn't keep track of them. And I wanted them to meet

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:32

each other. But it was really time consuming, making email

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:35

introductions to everybody. So I just said, you guys, come on,

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:38

let's all just get in the same place. Let's come in this

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:39

community, let's all network with one another. And then one

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:42

of the members asked me that how does it work? Like she asked me

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:45

to kind of deconstruct the way that I operate. And so that was

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:49

where the framework came from, was just sort of a reverse

Cara Steinmann: 00:14:52

engineering of how I naturally operate. Interesting.

Janice Porter: 00:14:55

So I'm curious when you were in school, were

Janice Porter: 00:14:59

you an athlete

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:01

I played intramurals. But I was an

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:02

outlet. I did martial arts outside of school.

Janice Porter: 00:15:06

Okay. Individual sports. Okay. Yeah. So that's

Janice Porter: 00:15:10

why. Yeah, like, I think there's different skills that come from

Janice Porter: 00:15:16

individual sports, obviously, to team sports. And I think it

Janice Porter: 00:15:19

makes a huge difference. So you were very independent in lots of

Janice Porter: 00:15:23

ways. Yeah.

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:24

But very collaborative, too. I did end of

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:26

individual sports, but I didn't like I was never very

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:28

competitive. Yeah. So I think there's more of a,

Janice Porter: 00:15:33

I see, what's that? I see guitars behind you

Janice Porter: 00:15:36

play music.

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:36

I learned to play the piano when I was

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:38

growing up. And then I just picked up the guitar last year

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:41

and started playing, which was sort of a bucket list item for

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:44

me because I had, I had learned to play the ukulele in fourth

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:47

grade. And I raised my hand to ask for a left handed ukulele on

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:52

the teacher. I am Are you? Yes. Hey, fellow lefties. My

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:56

husband's left handed too, but our son is right handed. So we

Cara Steinmann: 00:15:59

like to joke that two wrongs make a right. I love it. Yeah.

Janice Porter: 00:16:05

Yeah, sorry. I find left handed people that I

Janice Porter: 00:16:09

was at a bridge table. Last week we play bridge and three out of

Janice Porter: 00:16:13

the four of us were left handed. That is so unusual. Yeah. It is

Janice Porter: 00:16:18

the most my family like I have an uncle and uncle who was very

Janice Porter: 00:16:22

ambidextrous. And my mother was ambidextrous. And my one

Janice Porter: 00:16:25

daughter is very ambidextrous. She played a lot of sports. And

Janice Porter: 00:16:29

she can like, bat or hit it with a golf club. Either way, you

Janice Porter: 00:16:33

know, so, but nobody's left handed my little granddaughters

Janice Porter: 00:16:36

a little bit ambidextrous, but mostly right handed. But ya

Janice Porter: 00:16:39

know, left

Cara Steinmann: 00:16:39

hold. It's 50% ish genetic. And the other part

Cara Steinmann: 00:16:43

is just what you environmental maybe

Janice Porter: 00:16:47

that could be true, because back in the old

Janice Porter: 00:16:51

days, you know, they used to beat it out. Yeah. Yeah. So sad

Janice Porter: 00:16:55

to hear that anyway. Yeah, so I interrupted you, because I got

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:00

it. I had? Well, in this, this kind of goes to

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:04

like the belief systems and the things that layer on top of who

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:07

we are, right, like, when I melted down during COVID, I

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:09

realized I didn't really know who I was anymore, because of a

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:11

lot of the messages that I had gotten about myself. Who am I,

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:15

you know, the belief systems that we pick up, really, really

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:17

get into our subconscious. And it was hard for me to even

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:19

imagine that I could have a business other than the one I

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:22

had, let alone, like the privilege of building

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:25

relationships with people for a living, that's amazing. But just

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:28

one of the beliefs that I picked up when I was young was that I,

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:32

I put my hand up for a left handed ukulele and the teacher

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:34

really embarrassed me in front of the class and shot me down

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:36

and said, There's no such thing as a left handed ukulele, you

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:39

just need to figure it out. And I was I would think I was

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:42

embarrassed, you know, for getting in trouble. I was the

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:44

way I perceived it. But also just, you know, being different

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:48

and asking for what I needed. And then having that just like,

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:51

How dare you ask for what you need? Well, so I kind of had

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:55

always wanted to play the guitar. But because of that

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:56

experience, I kind of just put it on the shelf and figured

Cara Steinmann: 00:17:59

that's not going to be because I'm not ambidextrous, I can't do

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:02

anything with my right hand, apparently, but discovered a

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:07

little while ago that they totally have left handed guitars

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:09

and left handed all kinds of left handed instruments

Janice Porter: 00:18:12

you obviously didn't didn't grow up with the

Janice Porter: 00:18:14

Beatles. Did they play left handed? Paul McCartney's left

Janice Porter: 00:18:18

handed as he did so he has a left handed look at all the

Janice Porter: 00:18:21

pictures. He's the one with the guitar. The No, I never noticed

Janice Porter: 00:18:24

that. I

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:24

mean, I love the Beatles, but I'm not like a

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:26

Yeah, he's. I did not know that. Yeah. Well, she should have

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:29

known that then. Now. I'm really mad.

Janice Porter: 00:18:32

Oh, that's too funny. I know. But that's

Janice Porter: 00:18:34

terrible. As a teacher, I was a teacher, so to hear you, you

Janice Porter: 00:18:37

know,

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:38

I've had a couple of teachers traumatize me

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:40

because of, probably because I'm loud. I think I just realized

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:44

recently that I have a triggering effect when someone

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:48

says I'm a leader, like a leadership issue. And I kind of

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:53

dug back and thought, you know, I did have that one teacher who

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:56

kind of yelled at me in front of everybody and said, Scott, you

Cara Steinmann: 00:18:58

can't always be in charge care. You have to let someone else be

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:00

in charge. And like, stop being so bossy

Janice Porter: 00:19:04

that I was the Bossy kid to me. I always I'm,

Janice Porter: 00:19:07

I'm the oldest of four. I had to be bossy. But the other thing is

Janice Porter: 00:19:11

like, I don't know, when's your birthday was

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:12

April 17. Okay, so you're full on Aries, Aries,

Janice Porter: 00:19:17

and my daughter is in Aries. Because I'm a

Janice Porter: 00:19:20

Virgo, and I'm like I have to be in control. And okay, so. But

Janice Porter: 00:19:25

one of the things in reading all that horoscope stuff, which is

Janice Porter: 00:19:28

really kind of fun, but I kind of like it. It you can turn it

Janice Porter: 00:19:33

one way or the other. Right. So you can be the Bossy one. Or you

Janice Porter: 00:19:36

can be the one that organizes and be you know, yeah.

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:39

Right. And I think that's something we learn

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:42

when we all those tests are so there, you know, there's

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:44

horoscopes, there's human design, there's all these

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:46

different ways we can look at ourselves. And I think it's

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:48

really valuable too, with a grain of salt, look at all those

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:50

things. Because a lot of times some of our greatest strengths

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:54

can become our weaknesses. If they're let loose. If they're

Cara Steinmann: 00:19:57

not honed and moderated and I think I probably was really

Cara Steinmann: 00:20:01

bossy, and I probably was, you know, out of control. But that

Cara Steinmann: 00:20:06

doesn't mean that

Janice Porter: 00:20:07

none of that you were out of control, you are

Janice Porter: 00:20:08

probably just speaking your mind and being curious, which I want

Janice Porter: 00:20:14

to come to in a second because that's the thing. You know, my

Janice Porter: 00:20:18

one of my kids was the type a who would always push the

Janice Porter: 00:20:22

teachers, you know, limits and ask questions, and why didn't I

Janice Porter: 00:20:26

get an A plus? Why was it just an A, my other daughter,

Janice Porter: 00:20:29

completely introverted? Don't ask me any questions. I want to

Janice Porter: 00:20:33

sit back in my seat and not, you know, be noticed in the

Janice Porter: 00:20:36

classroom because God forbid, you should ask me a question.

Janice Porter: 00:20:39

Totally different. So, I don't know. It's just who you are.

Janice Porter: 00:20:42

Right? And yeah, we're

Cara Steinmann: 00:20:43

a lot of is just an aid. We're just different

Cara Steinmann: 00:20:45

people. Exactly,

Janice Porter: 00:20:46

exactly. So that being said, I'm guessing that

Janice Porter: 00:20:52

you are a full on curious person, because quite often good

Janice Porter: 00:20:55

Networkers are curious people, right

Cara Steinmann: 00:20:58

to two of the top five strengths in my Clifton

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:01

Strengths profile, are learner and input. And those are both

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:04

like, give me all the information. Let me catalog it.

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:07

And because of those, I tend to collect people apparently.

Janice Porter: 00:21:11

Oh, okay. So it's interesting, I did this. I did

Janice Porter: 00:21:17

this program once called your sacred gifts. And it was a woman

Janice Porter: 00:21:21

here who's been doing this for years. And she's really

Janice Porter: 00:21:24

interesting. And she says, there's 24 Sacred gifts. And

Janice Porter: 00:21:29

that I trigger something. Oh, I can't hear you.

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:33

Sorry, I'm laughing because I muted myself

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:36

to write that down. Because I, the last couple of weeks, we had

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:39

our little 30 minute strategy call, you know, and you

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:41

mentioned that and I wrote it down. But of course, couldn't

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:43

find the piece of paper. And I've been trying to remember

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:46

last time you did it. I've been trying to remember what was that

Cara Steinmann: 00:21:48

assessment?

Janice Porter: 00:21:49

I'll send it. I'll send it to you. And it's

Janice Porter: 00:21:51

not really an assessment. It's a it's a, but you can get an idea

Janice Porter: 00:21:56

from? Yeah, the first part of it anyway. I might still have it.

Janice Porter: 00:21:59

I'll see if I can find it. Yeah, super curious. Yeah. So yeah.

Janice Porter: 00:22:03

Anyway, okay. So tell me this. I'm going to ask you my two part

Janice Porter: 00:22:06

curiosity. Question. And before we before we ant here. Do you

Janice Porter: 00:22:11

believe that curiosity is innate? Or learned? And part two

Janice Porter: 00:22:17

is what are you most curious about these days? yourself?

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:20

I think curiosity is absolutely innate,

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:24

and that some of us probably develop it more throughout life.

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:29

And some of us are probably maybe taught to tamp it down

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:36

just a bit. Depending. And I think curiosity, we're all

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:39

curious about things, just maybe such different things that we

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:41

don't really notice. If someone's not curious about what

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:43

we're curious about. We're like, why are they not curious?

Janice Porter: 00:22:46

Right, right. Exactly. So it's, it can be

Janice Porter: 00:22:49

interest based as well. Okay. And what are you curious about

Janice Porter: 00:22:52

today?

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:53

I am still most curious today, about the same

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:56

thing. I've been curious about my entire life, which is like,

Cara Steinmann: 00:22:58

why are people the way they are? And that, you know, that feeds

Cara Steinmann: 00:23:03

into how Why does one person get along with one person and not

Cara Steinmann: 00:23:08

with another person? And how do we interact with one another,

Cara Steinmann: 00:23:10

and the, you know, foundations of a relationship and how they

Cara Steinmann: 00:23:13

grow and build and just, I'm interested in people and how

Cara Steinmann: 00:23:16

they relate to themselves and each other? That's great.

Janice Porter: 00:23:20

Do you I see you as the kind of person that

Janice Porter: 00:23:22

sometimes people will say to me, well, two things, one, that I

Janice Porter: 00:23:27

can talk to someone for five minutes and come away and know

Janice Porter: 00:23:30

their entire life history? And secondly, someone will say to

Janice Porter: 00:23:36

me, Wow, no one's ever asked me that question before or, or, you

Janice Porter: 00:23:43

know, I've never shared this with anyone before. So in other

Janice Porter: 00:23:46

words, I can get to the core quite quickly with people. And I

Janice Porter: 00:23:49

have a sense that you can too.

Cara Steinmann: 00:23:51

That's funny, you mentioned that, because when

Cara Steinmann: 00:23:53

I was going through this kind of meltdown, trying to figure out

Cara Steinmann: 00:23:55

who am I, I felt like I wasn't really good at anything anymore.

Cara Steinmann: 00:23:58

And looking back, that might partly be because so many of my

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:02

really, like core strengths are softer skills. They're not

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:06

execution related. You can't see something on the other end of

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:08

it. But I asked my husband, Babe, what do you think my

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:11

superpower is? Yeah. And he said, Oh, that's easy. You can

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:15

talk to somebody for five minutes, and they're telling you

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:17

stuff, they wouldn't even tell the therapist. Yeah. And I'm

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:20

like, at that, that there again, though, that has been a

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:22

liability at times, because people will tell me stuff. I

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:26

don't really want to know. And you don't put it right. Yeah.

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:29

And then and sometimes it's fine. And I've learned to, you

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:32

know, just roll with it. And to be really non judgmental, I

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:35

think because when people tell you stuff about themselves your

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:38

whole life, you have to just learn to just let it be but

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:41

people will some people will get a vulnerability hangover and

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:44

avoid me after they've told me something very intimate. Okay,

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:48

and I'm not judging but I think that there's some shame there

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:50

that maybe it's misplaced.

Janice Porter: 00:24:53

Well, then, then you would probably know how to

Janice Porter: 00:24:55

bring them around.

Cara Steinmann: 00:24:57

Yeah, usually it's okay but you know, Certain

Cara Steinmann: 00:25:00

people are more more apt to let their shame control them than

Cara Steinmann: 00:25:05

others. But yes, you're we're probably very much alike. Yeah,

Cara Steinmann: 00:25:09

I

Janice Porter: 00:25:09

think we are in so many ways. And so just before

Janice Porter: 00:25:13

we wrap up, let's get back to business for a second. And, and

Janice Porter: 00:25:17

you see how they are really so totally related. It's just

Janice Porter: 00:25:20

crazy, right? And core values. That's where it all comes down

Janice Porter: 00:25:24

to. I mean, when I meet someone on LinkedIn for the first time,

Janice Porter: 00:25:28

and even just the questions that I asked if they answer them,

Janice Porter: 00:25:31

don't answer them. If they ask a question, if they even care

Janice Porter: 00:25:34

enough to ask a question, if they've read my profile, all of

Janice Porter: 00:25:37

those things come into play for me, initially, until I can, you

Janice Porter: 00:25:42

know, sort of peel back the first layer and see if they're

Janice Porter: 00:25:45

interested in doing that. But I've met some really interesting

Janice Porter: 00:25:48

people, just from being online, which is kind of fun. You have

Janice Porter: 00:25:54

one thing I was curious about here that that you asked, what

Janice Porter: 00:25:58

are some unconventional ways to build your network on LinkedIn?

Janice Porter: 00:26:02

What do you have, because I teaching people all the time. So

Janice Porter: 00:26:05

I'm just curious what you do that works, or that you show

Janice Porter: 00:26:08

people,

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:09

I think that probably comes from not starting

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:13

my search on LinkedIn. And I don't focus a lot on, on posting

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:18

and starting the conversation myself, I like to jump into

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:21

other people's conversations, I like to get into the comments of

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:24

posts that I find interesting, and talk to people who are

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:27

already in that conversation. So it doesn't have to be me

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:30

starting the conversation. Yeah, and I'm also not afraid to take

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:34

it to the DMS like right away, because I don't have an agenda

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:37

right away, like I don't have anything I need from you or want

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:40

from you. I just want to connect. And usually to tell

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:44

them that I really liked what they had to say or that I think

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:46

they're really interesting, or probably because I'm curious. So

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:49

I guess that's where it comes from, is just like a very innate

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:52

curiosity about people and what they're all about and what

Cara Steinmann: 00:26:55

they're doing. Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:26:56

that's, that's interesting, because that is a

Janice Porter: 00:26:58

strategy that I show people sometimes, but I'm more about

Janice Porter: 00:27:01

hanging out in the mailbox in the private messaging. And so I

Janice Porter: 00:27:05

will do is show people a way to, you don't even have to go to the

Janice Porter: 00:27:09

content, you can just do a strategic search to find some

Janice Porter: 00:27:12

people in either a category or a location or whatever filters you

Janice Porter: 00:27:16

want to use to find some prospects or some referral

Janice Porter: 00:27:19

partners or strategic collaborators that you want to

Janice Porter: 00:27:23

find on LinkedIn. And then start looking at those profiles. And

Janice Porter: 00:27:27

from there, go in and ask to connect with them, or follow

Janice Porter: 00:27:31

them for a bit if you prefer, I go right to connect with a

Janice Porter: 00:27:34

message and try to get them into a one on one. And, and it works.

Janice Porter: 00:27:39

And I have a few messages that I that I like to ask them to see

Janice Porter: 00:27:45

if I can get them talking about themselves. So it's kind of fun.

Janice Porter: 00:27:48

So that works, too. So

Cara Steinmann: 00:27:50

that sounds like it's interesting, because you

Cara Steinmann: 00:27:52

have a slightly different approach than I do to kind of

Cara Steinmann: 00:27:54

get to the same end, I'd be curious to know what your what

Cara Steinmann: 00:27:56

your Colby Mo is because it sounds like you have some

Cara Steinmann: 00:27:58

structure and some rep like repetitive systems that sort of

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:02

work

Janice Porter: 00:28:03

for why it didn't study my Colby that closely. So

Janice Porter: 00:28:06

I'll have to go back and look at it and see well,

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:07

I'm super curious, because I'm the

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:09

opposite of you. I don't have a structure or a system that I can

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:12

like really repeat. But which is why I start outside of LinkedIn

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:16

and just in the real world, then I go because it's so easy to

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:19

connect directly with people, I go find them and talk to them on

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:21

LinkedIn just directly.

Janice Porter: 00:28:23

We'll have a conversation about that one.

Janice Porter: 00:28:24

Yeah, definitely. Okay, thank you. That's awesome. Well, this

Janice Porter: 00:28:27

has been amazing. And I appreciate your time. And I love

Janice Porter: 00:28:31

that we have so much in common and and that we're both left

Janice Porter: 00:28:34

handed it couldn't have gotten it before we end, I wonder if

Janice Porter: 00:28:39

you have any final words for my audience and where people can

Janice Porter: 00:28:45

find you. And I will, of course put it in the show notes as

Janice Porter: 00:28:48

well. But over to you. You

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:51

know, I think I would just piggyback again, on

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:53

what you said earlier about letting yourself come through in

Cara Steinmann: 00:28:57

your marketing and your content and your, you know, interactions

Cara Steinmann: 00:29:00

online. I think if you are willing to let yourself be seen,

Cara Steinmann: 00:29:04

it'll be a lot more easy to it'll be a lot easier to build

Cara Steinmann: 00:29:07

your reputation and become visible and have success because

Cara Steinmann: 00:29:12

people have to see you to appreciate you and want to work

Cara Steinmann: 00:29:14

with you.

Janice Porter: 00:29:15

Very cool. Thank you. Where can they find you?

Cara Steinmann: 00:29:19

I just like to connect on LinkedIn. So LinkedIn

Janice Porter: 00:29:22

it is and I have that. So I will put that in the

Janice Porter: 00:29:26

show notes. Thank you so much, Kara, for being here and for

Janice Porter: 00:29:30

sharing your expertise and personality with us and I've

Cara Steinmann: 00:29:37

enjoyed it so much. Thank you.

Janice Porter: 00:29:38

You're very welcome. And to my audience,

Janice Porter: 00:29:40

thank you so much, and we will see you on the other side.